Chapter 21
Katya had never been so tried in her enter life. The past two days had been long and tiring.
After Joe shot her father in his stomach, Diggle shot Joe killing him instantly.
She remembered screaming his name as she ran to his side.
She remembered cradling his head in her lap as Sara and Diggle tried to stop the bleeding.
She remembered begging her father to stay with her.
The cuts, bruises, her freezing skin all forgotten. All she remembered was how much her heart feared she would lose the father she had never truly gotten to know.
She remembers Diggle and Roy lifting her father into the car.
She remembers Jay's arms surrounding her as Diggle broke every traffic law known to man.
She remembers Jay's whispers of comfort and telling her everything would be ok over and over again as he pressed soft kisses into her hair.
She remembers the doctors rushing away with her father.
Then her mother was there gathering Katya in her arms. She sobbed then. Big ugly loud sobs.
She remembers her mother always so calm and positive crying with her.
She remembers her mother forcing her to get checked over.
Jay never leaving her side. Her Aunt and cousin running into the hospital waiting room.
She remembers the doctors returning telling her next twenty-four hours would be critical.
She remembers sitting by her father's bed holding his hand.
She remembers her eyes never leaving his face.
She remembers praying, begging that he would be alright.
It was 31 hours and 47 minutes later that his blue eyes shot open again.
She remembers his first words had been her name. They had been filled with worry and love.
"I'm right here daddy." She had whispered.
She remembers his hand taking hers and clutching it close to his chest before he fell back to sleep.
She remembers her mother ordering Jay to pick her up and carry her home.
She remembers her mum and aunt helping her wash and change her careful of the bruises.
But she couldn't sleep and that had led her right back to her father's side.
"Katya." His dry ruff voice called.
Katya helped him drink some water.
"Thank you." he said as she put the glass down.
Katya nodded and sat back next to him.
Her father took her hand.
"Katya, you need to get some sleep." He told her softly.
If only it was that easy. Joe's face plagued her thoughts. Tears slide down her cheeks. Even though he was gone she was still scared and she didn't know how not to be.
"Hey, hey." Her father said gathering her attention.
Katya slowly looked at him.
"Come here." He ordered opening his arm on his good side.
Katya slowly laid down next to her father and buried her face in his side.
She cried into him.
"It's ok." He told her softly.
"Your safe, we are all safe." He added.
She didn't know why but she believed him and her lack of sleep over the last three days finally caught up to her.
Felicity couldn't help but smile at the sight in front of her. Katya lay on Oliver's bed her head buried into his side. The sight both warmed her and filled her with guilt. In protecting her daughter she had deprived Oliver of a chance to get to know the life they had created. He had missed out on her first steps, her first laugh, and her first words. Tears slide down Felicity face. She had done that. How could he ever forgive her for that?
She would be a liar if she said she have never imagined what their life together would have been like. She was sure Katya would have been a daddy's girl. But you can never go back and there would be no way to fix this. Maybe it was better to leave now but her head and heart could build ideas of what their life could be like together.
Felicity turned slowly leaving the hospital room.
"Don't." Oliver deep voice whispered.
Felicity froze.
"Don't leave." he added.
Felicity turned slowly to face him. Katya still asleep next to him.
"Stay." He begged.
Felicity slowly walked towards their daughter.
"I can't." She cried. She gently stroked Katya cheek careful not to wake her.
Oliver caught Felicity's hand in his.
"Talk to me." He ordered.
Felicity slowly met his eyes.
"I should have told you about her, you deserved the right to know." Felicity exclaimed.
"But I kept her from you." She added.
"You thought you were protecting her." Oliver argued.
"A fat lot of good that did. He tortured her, he shot you." Felicity pointed out.
"None of that was your fault." Oliver told her honestly.
"Even if that wasn't keeping her from you was." Felicity added.
Oliver sighed deeply.
"I can't go back Oliver, I can't change my decision." Felicity cried.
Her tears were coming faster now, she had been keeping her voice low so that she wouldn't wake Katya but that was becoming harder and harder to do.
"Come here." Oliver ordered pointing to his injured side.
Felicity shook her head.
"Please, Felicity." Oliver begged through gritted teeth.
Felicity could see how badly Oliver wanted to move to her but both Katya and his injury prevented him from doing so.
Felicity slowly made her way round the bed. She sat down and Oliver reached up and cupped her face with his hand.
"I can't tell you that I forgive you for not telling me about her sooner." Oliver starts.
Felicity closes her eyes. It felt like she was losing him all over again.
"But I love you Felicity and I am not about to let you walk out of my life again." Oliver added.
Felicity eyes shot open.
"We have a long way to go but I'm willing to try if you are?" Oliver asked a hopeful expression on his face.
"I love you too." She whispered.
Oliver smiled as she nodded.
Oliver gently pulled her face towards him, where he gently pressed his lips to hers.
Felicity kissed him back fiercely, it had been so long since she had kissed him.
"Really?" Katya exclaimed loudly.
Felicity pulled away from Oliver both laughing at their daughter disgusted expression.
Katya got out of bed and walked towards the door.
"You couldn't wait till I was out of the room?" she asked but Felicity could see the slight smile on her face as she said it.
Felicity look at Oliver, they had waited a long time for this.
"Nope." Felicity said shaking her head.
Oliver laughed before gently kissing her again.
Jay sighed frustrated as he followed Katya into Oliver's hospital.
It had been a week since Oliver woke up and Jay had watched happily as Katya slowly came back to her joyful self. He knew she still had nightmares but they were slowly easing because she was happy. They were all happy. But he was about to change all that. Yesterday his commanding officer had called him to tell him he would be shipping out of Friday that gave him two days to break the news to Katya but she wasn't making it easy. It was like she had some sense about what he had to tell her and she was avoiding being alone with him.
Today Oliver was getting discharged and Katya wanted to be there when Diggle and her mum came to pick him up.
"Katya can we just talk for a couple of minutes?" Jay begged.
He had been asking that question on and off all day, but Katya kept coming up with reason why she couldn't.
"Nope." Katya said.
Felicity froze from packing Oliver's bag and her, Oliver and Diggle all looked over at Katya.
"Katya?" Felicity questioned.
Katya meet her mum's eyes.
"No mum because he wants to tell me his leaving." Katya said.
Jay looked at her in surprise. Somehow she always knew what he had to tell her without him actually saying anything.
"You knew?" Jay asked.
Katya looked over at him and shrugged.
"I figured you would have to finish your tour." Katya state as if it was nothing but he knew her better than that.
"But that's only a couple of months so it won't be too bad." she added more to herself than anyone else.
Jay looked down. This time it was more than that.
"Not quite." Jay said reluctantly.
"What?" Katya demanded.
Jay looked up. Katya was staring directly at him.
"I'll be gone for nine months." Jay stated.
Katya step towards him.
"What?" she demanded again.
She stood inches away from him and after what she had been through Jay wanted nothing more than to gather her in his arms, but he knew right now that would be the wrong decision.
"I'm going on a classified mission." Jay told her slowly.
Katya eyes widened.
When he had first told them he joined up he promised Katya and Felicity that he wouldn't take part in classified missions, all knowing that they were much more dangerous than anything else but that was the price for the information on Joe Wilson. His superior offices had been wanting him to do classified missions since the end of his training days but he had always refused. Then Joe Wilson came and he needs a favour but nothing in this world ever comes for free.
Katya punched his chest.
"You promised." She raged.
Jay caught her hand in his.
"My training officer needed some help, he taught me a lot I owe him." Jay reasoned. It wasn't the complete truth but it wasn't a lie either.
"You promised." Katya yelled again.
Jay could feel Felicity eyes on him. Part of him knew he should tell Katya the real reason he was breaking his promise to her but the other part knew she already blamed herself for so much he wasn't about to add this to her guilt list.
"I won't wait for you." Katya said as she pulled her hand out of his grasp.
They hadn't talk about it but Jay was sure she knew he loved her.
"Kitty Kat," he started but she shook her head.
"You don't get to say that." She said.
Jay titled his head as he looked at her. She always had a week spot when he called her Kitty Kat.
"You don't get to tell me you're leaving then call me Kitty Kat." She argued.
Tears strolled down her cheeks. Jay cupped her cheek in his hand and meet her eyes.
"I have to go." He said softly.
Katya shook her head.
"No you don't you could stay with me." She replied begging at the last part.
Jay had never wanted anything more but he was a man of his word.
"I can't." Jay told her, even though it pained him to do so.
A sob escaped her mouth.
"I won't wait for you." Katya said repeating her earlier words.
Jay closed his eyes and nodded.
"Ok."Jay said reluctantly.
"I mean it Jay." Katya told him.
"I won't wait to hear you're hurt, I won't wait to hear you've died." Katya added her voice cracking a little at the end.
He knew she was afraid for him and even though he hoped dearly she would change her mind, he was not going to argue with her.
Jay pressed a kiss to her forehead.
"Ok." He repeated.
Tears fell faster down Katya face as she pushed Jay way and ran from the room.
Jay closed his eyes and sighed deeply.
"Diggle will you check on her for me please?" Felicity asked.
He felt Felicity approach him and opened his eyes.
"You should have told her." Felicity told him as a matter of fact.
Jay shook his head.
"She would blame herself, I didn't want that for her." Jay reasoned.
Felicity shook her head.
"You still should have told her." Felicity argued.
Jay shrugged. He looked from Felicity to Oliver.
"Please don't tell her." Jay begged.
Felicity frowned at him but nodded slowly.
"What if she doesn't wait for you?" Oliver questioned.
That very thought almost broke his heart but he would have to take that risk.
"At least she safe." Jay reasoned.
Oliver gave him a sad smiled before nodding slowly.
Felicity frowned. Jay's plane left in an hour and Katya still wasn't back from the shops.
"If you don't leave soon no one will be there to see him off." Oliver pointed out.
Felicity sighed she knew he was right but she was still disappointed.
Felicity dialled Katya number, she answered on third ring.
"Where are you?" Felicity questioned.
"I can't mum." Katya whispered, her words with filled with tears.
Felicity sighed again.
She wanted to demand that her daughter be there but she knew that wouldn't work.
"Ok, baby." Felicity replied reluctantly and before she could say any more the phone went dead.
"She's not going is she?" Oliver asked when Felicity shoved her phone in her pocket.
Felicity shook her head.
Oliver nodded before gently pressing his lips to hers.
"Tell Jay to come back safe." Oliver ordered.
Felicity nodded before kissing Oliver once more.
When she got to the airport she had to run to Jay's gate, making it there by the skin of her teeth.
"Jay." She yelled when she spotted him in his uniform with a number of other men.
Jay looked over at her and around her, probably searching for Katya.
He made his way over to her as disappointment filled his face.
"I tried." Felicity told Jay honestly.
Jay smiled sadly.
"I hope she would come but..." Jay stated trailing off at the end.
"I came to wish you luck and order you arse to come safely." Felicity told him.
Jay laughed light.
"I'll do my best." He promised.
"Good." Felicity said just as someone yelled his name.
Jay looked over his shoulder.
"Time to go Baxter." Someone yelled.
Jay nodded before turning back round to face Felicity.
"I'll see you soon." Jay told her softly.
"Come here." Felicity ordered opening her arms to hug him.
Jay smiled before hugging her tightly.
"Be safe." Felicity ordered as he pulled away.
Jay nodded.
"You to." Jay replied before he returned slowly to his friends.
Hey everyone just wanted to say thank you so much for your reading :)