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Chapter 6: Friend is a Four-Letter Word
To me
Coming from you
Friend is a four-letter word.
-Cake
Feeling rested and considerably more self-assured, Chuck sauntered into the breakfast room the following morning. He tucked a pair of aviators into the front of his pale blue button-down, the madras plaid contrasting stylishly with his brown checked shorts. When it came to fashion, mixing patterns was something Chuck considered an art form- the key being the appearance of ease. And of course, he'd taken great pains to ensure that his carefully-rumpled hair looked like he'd barely bothered to comb it.
It took a lot of effort to look this effortless, he mused, sliding into a seat across from Serena. She, of course, was the exception that proved the rule. The girl could stumble out of bed, throw on whatever clothes she'd left crumpled in a ball on the floor, and end up looking like she wandered out of an Abercrombie catalog. Under the guise of a suggestive once-over, Chuck studied his step-sister's nearly-transparent peasant top and tousled sex-hair, wondering why it didn't have any effect on him. It must be a consequence of jetlag, or the faint nauseating Eau de Humphrey still lingering on her.
It was then that he noticed Dan was actually sitting next to Serena, glowering in Chuck's direction. Was he still here? Well… nothing much he could do about that, except continue to ignore his existence. Resolving to do so immediately, Chuck began buttering an English muffin, planning a related sex pun for the next available opportunity.
"Morning, everyone!" Blair chirped, clasping Nate's hand in her own as they strolled into the room, sitting down next to Chuck. She looked every bit the Hamptons society girl in her brightly flowered dress, wide pink belt, and matching straw tote bag. Her chestnut curls were loosely gathered at the nape of her neck, topped with a contrasting blue headband and accentuated by a set of flawless pearl earrings.
"Wow, someone's awfully chipper this morning." Serena smiled, munching on her croissant. "And you managed to get Nate out of bed before 10, I'm impressed!"
"Oh, I can't take any credit for that," Blair replied sweetly. "Apparently a homoerotic man-date with Chuck is the only motivation he needed."
Chuck smirked in response. "You're not fooling anyone, Waldorf. Don't mock croquet just because you're abysmal at it."
"I am NOT-" Blair caught herself . "I am… a perfectly respectable croquet player. It just so happens that Serena and I have more urgent matters to attend to this afternoon."
"You do?" Dan glanced over at Serena. "I didn't realize you already had plans."
"Oh, Blair and I were just going to get pedicures and do a little shopping. You don't mind, do you?" Serena asked hopefully, bestowing her most dazzling smile upon him.
Nobody ever minded when Serena smiled like that.
"Oh no, it's no problem. I'll just get some… writing done," Dan improvised quickly, trying not to sound as excluded as he felt.
"And what part of that is urgent, exactly?" Chuck inquired, with a skeptical look in Blair's direction.
"Well, my feet aren't going to take care of themselves, Chuck," she replied in exasperation.
Glancing down at her dainty, perfectly-manicured feet perched in a pair of wedge sandals, toenails immaculately painted with pink polish, he raised an eyebrow at her.
"The pink has too much of a blue undertone. It doesn't compliment my tan," Blair explained defensively.
Well, she did have a point, he conceded. And a coral shade would match the flowers in her dress.
"Aren't you going to eat anything, B?" Serena asked, gesturing towards the breakfast spread. "You'll need fortification for a long afternoon of shopping."
Briefly considering her options, Blair agreed. "Sure, pass me a blueberry muffin."
Chuck bit his lip to keep from offering to butter it for her. Somehow making lecherous comments to Blair in front of Nate didn't feel quite… appropriate anymore. Apparently that was one of the uncomfortable side effects of banging your best friend's girlfriend.
"Hey, I have a great idea!" Serena announced, as though a light bulb had just turned on over her head. "Dan, why don't you hang out with the guys while Blair and I are out doing girl stuff? Then we can all meet up at the beach later."
A brief silence descended upon the table, since no one present except Serena considered this to be anything but an absolutely terrible idea.
"You shouldn't just hang out here by yourself while we're all out having fun! And it'll give Nate a chance to tell you all about the soccer team." Serena nodded, as if congratulating herself on this fantastic plan. "Besides, you've always wanted to learn how to play croquet."
Dan swallowed, his expression clearly indicating that he'd never wanted anything of the sort.
Blair shook her head as she nibbled on her muffin, apparently baffled that even Serena could be this naïve. Nate's expression, meanwhile, appeared to be a losing attempt to conceal his irritated disbelief.
Chuck grinned, relishing the awkwardness. If he couldn't just ignore Humphrey, an afternoon of taunting him would provide a perfectly adequate substitute. "Sounds fun. Nate and I will be more than happy to acquaint you with the rules of the game," he drawled, watching Dan squirm uncomfortably under his gaze.
"Great, so it's settled." Serena beamed, happy to have found the perfect solution. "Meet at Wainscott beach around 3 then?"
"Sure, sounds good." Nate smiled wanly.
"Okay, let me just go grab my bag and we can head out!" Polishing off the last bite of her croissant, Serena gave Dan a quick kiss on the cheek before heading towards the door. "Have fun you guys!" she called back.
Blair gave Nate a kiss goodbye as well, before rising to follow her. She paused to take one last look at the three boys. "Just… behave yourselves," she sighed, throwing a quick glare in Chuck's direction over her shoulder.
Left alone with Nate and Chuck, Dan took a deep breath and forced an expression of enthusiasm onto his face. "So… croquet?"
"Yeah…" Nate trailed off.
Chuck smirked. This would be fun.
"So did you seriously think that was a good idea, or are you playing some kind of prank on Dan?" Blair asked, sipping on her iced cappuccino as they strolled through downtown. "Because if it's the latter, I can totally get on board with that."
Serena laughed. "Come on, B, it's just croquet. What's the worst that could happen to him?"
"I assume you're looking for an answer besides 'getting roofied and waking up to find out he's someone's prison girlfriend'." Blair arched an eyebrow at her.
"Why, do you have reason to think one of them might be into that?" Serena countered teasingly.
Blair regarded her best friend with narrowed eyes. "Watch it, S."
"Come on, Nate's going to be there, and Nate likes Dan just fine. I'm sure he'll prevent any… roofie-related activities Chuck has planned." Serena grinned, taking a slurp of her own iced beverage.
Blair rolled her eyes. If Serena seriously thought that Nate liked Dan, she was even less observant than she looked. "Well, worst case scenario, they lure him into the woods, steal his clothes, and leave him tied to a tree."
"Well, I'm sure I could figure out a way to have fun with that." Serena smiled mischievously.
"Ugh." As if hearing them humping through the wall hadn't been traumatizing enough. "Let's just nix the naked Dan talk and get our feet pampered, shall we?"
Twenty minutes later, both girls were flipping through magazines while their feet soaked, occasionally exchanging celebrity gossip or styling tips. Blair leaned back and closed her eyes, savoring her foot massage. Those adorable little wedge heels were hell on her arches.
"So you seem much… calmer today," Serena commented. "I kind of expected you to be a little more freaked out, given the… situation."
"Oh, the situation's been taken care of," Blair responded breezily. "We talked about it last night."
"We being…."
"Me and Chuck, of course."
Serena frowned, looking puzzled. "When did you talk to Chuck? He went to bed at like 9pm."
"Well, I stopped by his room later." Blair attempted to sound as nonchalant as possible- as if she hadn't lingered in front of his door for the better part of ten minutes, trying to muster up the courage to enter.
"You went into his room late at night by yourself?" Serena's surprised reply carried just a hint of censure.
"So? We needed to talk. It's not like I'm going to jump him just because we're alone in a room together," Blair responded defensively. Or because his hair was so adorably rumpled, she could barely restrain herself from running her fingers through it. Or because, during those few sleepy moments before he regained his bearings and remembered to act like a dick, he looked irresistibly vulnerable. Or because she couldn't stop wondering how he would've reacted if she'd leaned in to run her tongue over his full lower lip and then gently nibble on it-
"Blair?"
Dammit. Shaking her head to ward off her brain's unwelcome tangent, she glanced back at her friend.
"I said, what did you guys decide?" Serena repeated, looking suspicious of Blair's sudden daydreaming.
"That we're going to put everything in the past and be friends," Blair replied with conviction.
"Friends?" Serena asked. The skepticism in her voice made Blair defensive.
"Yes, Serena, friends," she returned. "Like we were for… twelve years, before any of this happened."
Serena nodded, not looking any more convinced. "So… when are you going to tell Nate?"
Blair inhaled sharply in irritation.
"I'm going to tell him soon, just not… right now," she replied. "Between Nate's family… issues, and Chuck just coming back, it's not a good time at the moment. He really needs both of us."
Serena nodded, conceding that the obviously self-serving argument did have some merit. "I know, Nate has enough to deal with right now. I'm just worried that… well, so many people know already. And it would hurt him so much to find out from someone else."
Blair pinched the bridge of her nose and mentally counted to ten, the relaxing effects of her foot massage having completely dissipated.
"Well, as long as you and Humphrey can manage to keep your mouths shut for just a little while longer, I'm sure it'll all work out fine," she stated, making it clear that the matter was no longer up for discussion.
Looking slightly uncomfortable, Serena busied herself with her phone- hoping against hope that this situation wouldn't turn into the complete trainwreck she anticipated.
Thwack.
Dan groaned as his ball was once again knocked off the course, into a set of dense, visibly thorny bushes.
"Sorry." Chuck smirked at him, not sounding the least bit sorry, and lined up to take his next shot.
Dan knelt down and rummaged through the shrub with one hand, trying- and failing- to avoid getting stabbed by the sharp little barbs. Overhearing what sounded like another snarky comment, followed by a chuckle from Nate, he sighed and wondered when all this fun would finally be over. Nate's explanation of the rules had been unhelpful at best, even though they were supposedly on the same team, and it was obvious Chuck was more interested in making Dan miserable than actually winning.
Finally retrieving his ball, and losing only a small amount of blood in the process, Dan rejoined the other two and tried to not look completely ill at ease.
"So… do you guys spend every summer out here?" he asked, with forced nonchalance.
Two pairs of eyes- one blue, one hazel- regarded him with skepticism and amusement, respectively.
"Yeah, pretty much every year since we were kids." Nate finally responded.
A moment of awkward silence followed.
"I guess it's been in your family for awhile, then?" Awkward silences, unfortunately, were Dan's kryptonite, and he felt compelled to fill them at any cost.
"Yeah, about… ninety years, I think."
"Wow, that's a long time." Another prolonged pause. Dan struggled to think of a follow-up question.
Nate nodded, glancing over the opulent summer home as if it were nothing out of the ordinary.
More silence. Dear God, this was like giving himself a root canal. As legitimately terrified as he was of Blair, at least she was capable of stimulating conversation- trying to talk to Nate was like watching a hamster run on a wheel. He honestly didn't know how she'd tolerated it for all these years; he felt like he'd actually lost IQ points over the last several hours. And Chuck, on the other hand- well, he preferred it when Chuck was ignoring him, because the only interest he ever took in Dan appeared to be of the humiliating and life-ruining variety.
Nate took the next turn, tapping his ball through the far wicket and taking aim at the turning post.
"And where do you typically summer, Humphrey?" Chuck asked sardonically, surveying him with barely concealed ridicule.
"Uh… well, Jenny and I have gone up to Hudson to visit our mom the past two years," Dan replied. "It's always nice to… get out of the city for awhile."
"Ah yes, little Jenny." Chuck pursed his lips. "And how is your lovely sister?"
Dan frowned, his unease suddenly replaced by a resurgence of hostility. "She's doing well," he responded, a note of warning in his voice. "She's actually coming out with Erik this weekend, for the white party."
"Well then… I look forward to getting reacquainted with her." Chuck held his gaze with a wicked grin.
Dan felt his fists clench at his sides and his blood pressure start to rise. Nate rejoined the pair, seemingly oblivious to the angry tension.
"Jenny's coming out to visit? Blair will be happy about that, I think she's been bored with just me and Serena for company all summer," he commented. "Your turn, dude."
Chuck tapped his ball forward, and it rolled to a stop several inches in front of the intended wicket, effectively blocking Dan's next shot. He sighed, suspecting that hadn't been an accident. His futile attempt to aim around Chuck's ball resulted in both ricocheting away, and Nate walked to the other side of the course for his next turn.
"So did you enjoy your foray into the world of pseudo-intellectual fiction writing?" Chuck's tone contained the barest hint of amusement. "It must've gotten you a lot of ass. Nothing excites hipster Brooklyn girls quite like a pretentious book reading."
He briefly pondered the absurdity of discussing "getting ass" with Chuck Bass, of all people, before responding.
"Uh, no… I've pretty much just been focusing on my internship all summer. I have a lot to learn, and… Jeremiah's been a great mentor."
Chuck nodded, a sardonic smile on his face. "Is that so? I heard you were quite popular with his… female fans."
Dan stiffened in surprise and confusion. How the hell had Chuck heard anything about that? Taken aback by this unwelcome turn of events, he stammered out, "I'm, uh… not sure what you're talking about."
"Mmm-hmm." Chuck regarded him shrewdly. "I must say I'm impressed, Humphrey. I didn't think you had it in you."
For once, an awkward silence left Dan at a complete loss for words.
"I'm sure Serena wasn't surprised, though," he continued. "She has always seen the… best in you, after all."
Shit. As this conversation grew progressively more unpleasant , he felt a moment of abject fear. Taking a deep breath, he regained his bearings and realized that he was not, in fact, at a disadvantage in this situation.
"Well, I think sometimes past… indiscretions, are best left in the past," Dan responded with steely resolve. "Don't you agree?"
A pointed look in Nate's direction left no doubt as to his implication. Chuck's condescending smile froze in place, and he regarded Dan with a mixture of what appeared to be surprise, controlled fury, and was that- grudging respect? Nope, just murderous rage. Perhaps threatening had been the wrong tactic to take here, he thought, but he'd gone too far to back down now. Gritting his teeth, he returned Chuck's icy glare with all the determination he could muster, reminding himself that he could ruin the guy's life in about five seconds if he wanted.
"Indeed I do," Chuck finally replied, after a torturous moment of silence. "Nathaniel, are you about done? We're losing valuable beach time here."
Neither of them paid attention to Nate's response, their eyes remaining locked in a silent standoff.
"Relax S, I'm sure they'll be able to find us. " Blair sighed, watching Serena crane her neck, scanning the beach for their male companions. If nothing else, they'd certainly be able to find Serena- her fuschia bikini bottom covered, at most, a quarter of each ass cheek, and every guy within fifty feet appeared to be eagerly anticipating a wardrobe malfunction.
Blair tucked a towel under her feet, making sure the sand didn't scratch her freshly-polished nails, and slipped on a pair of oversized sunglasses. She'd chosen more modest attire, opting for a one-piece yellow and green-flowered Salvatore Ferragamo. It was stylish and sexy, but still elegant. Besides, it's not like she was interested in getting whistled at by these knuckle-dragging Neanderthals anyway.
"Oh, there they are!" Serena beamed. "And they brought drinks!"
Blair glanced up to see the three boys approaching. Nate and Dan were carrying a cooler and some beach chairs, and Chuck… was walking with his hands in his pockets, as if carrying things weren't in his job description. Dan looked relieved to see Serena, but didn't appear to have been physically harmed in any way. And Nate looked… far too appreciative of Serena's microscopic bikini, Blair decided, feeling her mood start to plummet.
"Hey guys, we brought beer." Nate set the cooler down and laid his towel out next to Blair.
"Are we going to a… frat party?" She eyed the Corona he held towards her with distaste.
"I'll have one." Serena volunteered. "Do we have limes?" She batted her eyelashes at the boys, and Dan and Nate practically tripped over each other attempting to procure one for her. Apologizing awkwardly, Dan stepped aside and watched Nate deftly slice the lime into wedges.
"Do you want one too, Dan?" he asked, betraying his limited knowledge of Dan's partying habits.
"Oh, Dan doesn't really drink." Serena shook her head with a smile. Strangely, Dan looked almost offended by her refusing on his behalf. Maybe he was just touchy because she'd sent him on the adult equivalent of a playdate, or perhaps he really needed a drink after an afternoon of getting mentally tortured and eye-raped by Chuck.
"Actually, I'd love one." He grabbed a beer and awkwardly attempted to twist off the cap with his hand, before Serena grinned teasingly and held out her bottle opener. Finally getting it open, he took a cautious sip.
"That's, uh.. that's good beer," he commented, trying not to grimace.
"You forgot the lime though," Serena smiled mischievously, sucking on a wedge and proceeding to give him a big wet kiss.
Ugh, Blair thought to herself, shielding her eyes with her hand. She was way too sober for another round of Dan/Serena face-sucking.
Nate cleared his throat uncomfortably. "You know, I think I'm gonna wait until after my swim, so I don't cramp up." Handing his beer to Blair, he stripped off his shirt and sandals and headed towards the ocean.
She stared after him, then down at the bottle. What in the hell was she supposed to do with this? She certainly wasn't going to drink it. Exhaling sharply in irritation, Blair jammed the bottle into the sand and folded her arms across her chest. She could feel Chuck's amused gaze on her, which didn't do anything to improve her mood.
"Well, you should be used to getting ditched for Nate's exercise routine by now," Chuck commented dryly. "He thinks his muscles will atrophy if he skips even a single day."
"Well, it wouldn't kill you to join him now and then," Blair shot back, casting a scornful look in his direction.
Chuckling softly, he inclined his head in acknowledgment. "Oh, don't worry, I have my own exercise routine, which I am… very dedicated to."
"Getting blow jobs from freshmen doesn't count as exercise, Chuck," Blair replied pointedly.
"No, that's really more of a warmup." He grinned, stretching back in his chair. "And if I were so tired from all this exertion that I couldn't perform up to my... standards, well… I'd never forgive myself."
Blair rolled her eyes. Well, at least he wasn't treating her any differently than he used to.
"We're going for a walk on the beach. Be back in a bit," Serena announced, clasping Dan's hand and pulling him off along the sand. Strolling hand-in-hand down the beach, bright turquoise waves crashing in the background, the two of them looked like a walking Corona commercial. Well, at least they were taking their nauseating public display of affection elsewhere, although it had the unfortunate side effect of leaving her alone with Chuck.
The pair sat in silence for a few minutes, before she cast a glance over at him and scoffed in disbelief at the sight. "Are you seriously drinking a glass of wine on a beach?"
"I'm sorry, I must have left my pony keg of Heineken in the car." Chuck met her gaze with a smirk, taking a slow, deliberate sip. "I assume this means you don't want any."
She sighed, eying his drink. Well, it did look delicious. Plus, her only other option was a slightly-lukewarm bottle of beer that now appeared to have sand floating in it.
"Fine," she assented. "You can pour me some."
"Oh, can I?" he responded sardonically, but a second later, he obliged and handed her a glass of pinot grigio. Blair savored the crisp, fruity flavor, letting the cool liquid glide over her tongue. Now this is more like it, she thought.
She contemplated the view in front of her as she slowly sipped her wine, keeping one eye on Nate swimming parallel to the shoreline. There hadn't been any shark sightings around this part of Long Island recently, but it couldn't hurt to be vigilant. God knows Nate wouldn't notice one coming. Not unless it was prancing around in front of him in a hot pink bikini, anyway.
She'd hoped that with Dan back in the picture and Serena… otherwise occupied, she would finally have his undivided attention- but if anything, things seemed even worse now. Nate was visibly bothered by the two of them together, and kept going off to sulk by himself, and now she didn't even have Serena to keep her company. Her hour of careful primping had obviously been a waste of time, since no one had even spared a second glance.
Blair sighed, taking another sip and licking the remaining moisture off her upper lip. Feeling Chuck's eyes on her, she glanced over at him, only to see him abruptly look away and slide his sunglasses down over his face.
She placed her glass down, stretching her arms behind her head and arching her back with a little sound of contentment. This time, there was no mistaking the heat of his gaze running over her figure, even through the dark tint of his lenses. But he gave no outward indication of his reaction, continuing to survey the scene before him with detachment.
Interesting, she thought to herself. Perhaps not such a waste of time after all…
Pondering the giddy thrill she felt at his attention, and emboldened by a heady mixture of sun and alcohol, Blair rummaged through her beach tote and retrieved her bottle of sunscreen.
"Can you put some lotion on my back? I think I'm turning a little pink," she complained, craning her neck to inspect one of her shoulders.
Chuck glanced at her, looking disinterested. "Is there some reason you can't do it yourself?"
"I can't reach. Obviously." Blair rolled her eyes. "You know what, never mind."
Chuck sighed in acquiescence and grabbed the bottle of sunscreen, squirting a generous amount into his hands. "Fine, turn around."
Gathering her silky brown curls along one side of her neck, she turned in her chair and presented him with her bare shoulders and back. The cold sunscreen against her skin initially made her gasp in surprise, but it gradually warmed as he massaged it into her skin. His palms moved across her back, rubbing the lotion in with long, firm strokes. Working his way outwards, his fingers dipped down along the edge of her swimsuit, leaving a pleasant tingling sensation in their wake. Her breath caught in her throat as she felt his hands caress the side of her torso, dangerously close to the outer swell of her breasts. He moved to pull away and she looked back over her shoulder.
"Could you get the back of my neck too?" Her voice sounded surprisingly steady, given the nervous fluttering in her stomach. She twisted her hair up with one hand and held it high against her head. After a brief pause, his hands returned to her shoulder blades, slowly moving their way upwards. As his fingers stroked down the length of her neck, they lingered just a moment too long, and a shiver of excitement ran up her spine. She felt him exhale against her, the heat of his breath warming her bare skin, his mouth only inches away.
Clearing his throat, Chuck pulled his hands back and returned to his own chair.
"If you need any more assistance with your grooming, you should probably summon Dorota." His voice sounded cool and collected, betraying only a slight hint of unsteadiness. Glancing out of the corner of her eye, she watched as he picked up a towel and nonchalantly dropped it over his lap.
Interesting indeed, she thought.
A/N: Oh, B… don't you know what happens when you play with fire?
Many thanks to Terrabeth for beta-ing the hell right out of this. Leave a review and let me know what you thought, it makes my day. :)