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Chapter 12: Percussion Gun
Well how do you do
A kiss on the cheek
It's been a while
So I'll just beg, borrow and steal all your time
We'll call it dignified
Well now it all seems to be cut and dried
-White Rabbits
Awakened from an uneasy slumber by sunlight peaking around the edges of her sleep mask, Blair winced and pulled the covers up over her head. She'd tossed and turned for hours, agonizing over the impending fallout of her encounter with Chuck- but now morning had arrived and she was no closer to a solution.
What had begun as a patented Blair Waldorf smackdown had gone completely off the rails. Not only had she let it slip that she had feelings for him, she'd practically begged him to return the sentiment. When he hadn't said a word- only gaped at her in response- she'd been forced to gather up the shredded remains of her dignity and go home to drown herself in her bathtub.
What the fuck had she been thinking? Had she seriously considered the possibility that Chuck Bass might be interested in anything other than sex? He'd taken every opportunity to gloat over her pitiful, ridiculous crush on him, and instead of shutting him down, she'd just given him more ammunition.
Blair rolled over and groaned into her pillow, wishing she could go back in time twelve hours and throttle her idiot self.
At least this latest soul-crushing humiliation would be hers to suffer in private, she tried to console herself. Chuck couldn't tell anyone about last night without the risk of outing his own reprehensible behavior to Nate. After all, he was the one who'd initiated all of their recent encounters… although she certainly hadn't done much to discourage him. Her cheeks flushing red with embarrassment, she recalled how eagerly she had responded to Chuck in this very room only a few nights ago.
Nate, of course, didn't have a clue about any of this. Nate, who had come over the previous afternoon just because he was worried about her. Nate, who loved her and would never suspect that she had betrayed him with his best friend.
Clearly she'd gotten carried away with the secrecy, the intrigue, and the intense sexual chemistry between her and Chuck. The whole forbidden aspect of their interactions had made her develop feelings that had no basis in logic or reality. But with a little time, and some concentrated effort, there was no reason she couldn't murder those feelings dead. And until that was accomplished, she just had to hold her head up high and act like she hadn't completely disgraced herself.
She just couldn't believe she'd been so blinded by a silly, inexplicable infatuation that she'd started questioning her relationship with her boyfriend. In fact, she'd had the most delusional idea floating around in her head all weekend that she had to make some sort of choice between him and Chuck.
Blair shook her head sadly, scoffing at her own ridiculousness.
She had one boy who loved her and wanted to be with her… and one who just wanted to sleep with her. There was no choice to be made.
"Good morning, family," Chuck greeted his stepsiblings with a smirk, sliding into a seat across the breakfast table.
Serena rolled her eyes and Eric nodded, staring intently down at his plate. They ate in silence while Chuck poured himself some badly-needed coffee- his bemused brain had gone round in circles until the early hours of the morning, and he'd gotten very little sleep as a result.
He glanced over at his siblings and noted that Eric was still avoiding eye contact- probably torturing himself with disturbing mental images, Chuck thought with a smirk, deciding to let him stew about it for awhile longer. Serena, on the other hand, was too busy brooding to take any notice of either of them.
Selecting a croissant and some fruit, Chuck studied his stepsister with a sudden spark of curiosity. He'd known Serena since preschool, and she'd always been the free-spirited type. And as soon as she'd hit puberty, her lifestyle had begun resembling his own more than she'd probably care to admit. In terms of numbers, of course, she wasn't even in the same ballpark, but she'd had more than her fair share of one-night stands and drug-fueled escapades.
Probably even a threesome or two, he decided, grinning to himself.
Serena quirked a skeptical eyebrow in his direction, as though she could read his thoughts and thoroughly disapproved of them.
To his chagrin, this state of affairs had changed drastically a year ago, when she'd come back from boarding school acting all virtuous... and apparently harboring no regrets about leaving her hedonistic lifestyle in the past. Having been well-acquainted with her unreformed self- rebellious, uninhibited, and lacking any sort of attention span when it came to the opposite sex- Chuck had never pegged her for someone who would be content settling down.
And yet here she was sitting across from him, moping into her orange juice over the prospect of a life unshackled from Dan Humphrey's tedious presence. Clearly there was something he didn't understand about this arrangement.
"So how do you feel about… monogamy?" Chuck asked casually, swirling his cup of coffee.
Serena stared back in confusion. "… What do you mean?"
"You know, relationships, commitment, having someone in your life whose sole purpose is to prevent you from having sex with other people," he continued. "Do you find that… enjoyable?"
"Uh…" Serena paused, looking taken aback. "Well, it's not so much the concept that's enjoyable, it depends on… who it's with."
Tilting his head slightly, Chuck considered her words.
"Unfortunately, your only relationship experience is with Humphrey," he mused. "But assuming a better choice of partner, you view this as something that would… improve your life?"
Eric practically choked on his muffin, his eyes ping-ponging between the two of them in dismay.
"For your information, Dan is- was, a wonderful boyfriend," she replied defensively, shooting him a warning glare.
"Mmm hmm," Chuck said, unconvinced.
"But to answer your question, yes," she continued. "I was much happier with Dan than I ever was before I met him."
Chuck nodded, pondering this information as he took a bite of his croissant. Eric, on the other hand, looked like he was about to be ill.
"Why do you ask?" Serena studied him with suspicion.
"Just curious, that's all." He shrugged nonchalantly.
"Don't tell me the legendary Chuck Bass is actually considering settling down," she laughed, raising her eyebrows at him.
"It was a hypothetical question, Serena," he replied in his most jaded tone. "Just considering the feasibility of such a… counterintuitive lifestyle choice, that's all."
"Ah, but now that you have someone in mind, maybe it's starting to seem a little less counterintuitive?" she teased, grinning knowingly.
Narrowing his eyes at her, Chuck took a sip of coffee to avoid answering.
"Oh my God," Eric burst out suddenly, causing Chuck and Serena to freeze in surprise. "You two are related now. Our parents are married, and I have to live with both of you."
Serena stared at him in confusion.
"I swear to God, if you start dating each other, I will… kill myself for real this time," he finished melodramatically, his cheeks flushed with outrage.
"Eric, what are you talking about?" she asked, glancing over at Chuck when he let out an amused scoff.
"Oh, by the way, Serena," he commented sardonically. "Your brother seems to be under the impression that you and I spent Friday night boning each other."
Her eyes widened in shock as she swiveled her gaze back towards Eric, who instantly flushed beet-red. His mouth opened and then closed again, but without any actual sound coming out.
"What?" she asked incredulously. "Why would you think that?"
"Well, since we're already on the topic, I'd be interested to know as well," Chuck added, regarding his stepbrother over the rim of his cup.
Shifting uncomfortably under their scrutiny, Eric stared down at the table to avoid their eyes.
"I, uh, I just saw you come out of her room in the middle of the night, and you were, uh, it looked like you were putting your pants back on," he stammered.
"So what, a guy comes out of my room and you just assume I had sex with him?" Serena asked indignantly, her blue eyes flashing in warning.
"Well, no, it's not that, but it was… Chuck…" Eric trailed off helplessly.
"He does have a point." Chuck offered.
Serena shot him an annoyed glare and he shrugged in response.
"What? I consider it a compliment." He smirked, returning his attention to his breakfast.
"Wait, did you…" A horrified expression crossed Serena's face. "Did you tell anyone that that happened?"
"No! I mean… I mentioned it to Jenny, but I said I wasn't sure, and she wouldn't… say anything…" Eric faltered, looking legitimately afraid of the expression on his sister's face.
"Oh my God, she told Dan," Serena realized. "Dan thinks… oh my God."
Chuck nodded in understanding. "Well, that does explain why he was trying to make my head explode with his mind yesterday..." he commented, grinning as he pictured Humphrey's look of face-punching fury.
"I'm so sorry, Serena, I didn't mean for that to happen," Eric said earnestly. "I'm sure once you explain, tell him it was my fault… he'll understand."
Serena sighed, the ire in her expression beginning to fade.
"I'm not mad at you, Eric," she responded sadly. "I just... I wish he'd come and talked to me about it, instead of just… believing whatever he heard."
"Well, Blair certainly believed it, but she was at least considerate enough to come rip my head off in person," Chuck said dryly.
He couldn't help smiling a little as he recalled her marching into his room the night before, seething with jealous fury.
"Me too, she gave me an earful yesterday, and I had no idea why…" Serena trailed off, realization dawning in her eyes.
Eric's brow furrowed in confusion.
"Wait, why would that upset Blair?" he asked, looking back and forth at them questioningly.
A beat of silence followed, during which Serena cleared her throat and Chuck found himself at an uncharacteristic loss for words.
"Well, you know Blair, she doesn't need a reason to bitch somebody out," he finally responded.
Taking one last sip of coffee, he rose to his feet. "Anyone who wants a ride, limo's leaving in five," he called over his shoulder as he sauntered away from the table.
Serena paused at the entrance to the boys' hall, scanning over the sea of blazers and striped ties. Finally spotting Dan, who was standing next to the water fountain and shuffling through the books in his messenger bag, she felt her heart start pounding erratically.
After Eric's revelation at breakfast that morning, she'd been so eager to find him and explain everything… but now she found herself hesitating.
Telling him the truth wouldn't change anything he'd said to her on Friday night, she realized. He'd broken up with her, and what she had or hadn't done afterwards was irrelevant. And the more she thought about it, the more she started to question whether he had any right to be upset with her at all.
At that moment, he looked up and his chocolate brown eyes met hers, a spark of tension passing between them. Steeling herself, she maintained eye contact as she walked towards him.
"Hey Dan," she greeted him.
"Hey," he responded in a flat tone.
She could tell from the tight expression on his face that he was uncomfortable, upset… and pissed. He was pissed off at her over a rumor, she realized incredulously. A rumor with no basis in fact whatsoever.
Dan had always had some… judgmental tendencies, but he'd definitely outdone himself this time.
Tamping down her own annoyance temporarily, she decided to just stick to the facts.
"So I hear your sister's spreading gossip about me and Chuck," she said matter-of-factly.
Dan's mouth dropped open slightly in surprise, clearly not expecting her to be so direct.
"Well, it's based on… inaccurate information," Serena continued. "Nothing happened. Nothing… would ever happen between me and Chuck."
The flicker of relief she saw on his face was almost enough to undo her resolve- but not quite.
"Anyway," she added, rolling her eyes, "I just wanted to set the record straight."
With a toss of her gold waves, she turned to leave.
"Wait, Serena-"
She paused reluctantly, looking back at him.
"Maybe we could get together and, uh, talk about everything?" Dan said earnestly.
She stared back at him in silence for a moment. He was looking at her with that endearing awkwardness she'd always found so charming, but at the moment she felt oddly immune to it.
"I was just thinking, you know, that I might have been a little too… impulsive, with what I said on Friday, and maybe I should… reconsider." he stammered, trying to gauge her response.
He was reconsidering their relationship again, she thought… but only after finding out that she hadn't behaved like a giant tramp like he'd assumed. It was bad enough that he kept believing the worst of her, but it was the constant hypocrisy that really made her teeth grind. After all, he'd spent all summer slutting it up, while she was too busy thinking about him to even make a halfhearted pass at a townie lifeguard.
Fuck this. She wasn't the kind of girl who let guys just walk all over her- she was Serena van der Woodsen, for Christ's sake.
"You know, Dan, I think I'm a little talked out," she responded coolly- and felt a glimmer of satisfaction when he frowned in response. "It's been good catching up with you though!"
He stared after her in surprise and confusion as she strode down the hallway, unable to hold back the triumphant little smile that curled her lips.
Nate thumbed distractedly through his phone as he made his way to class, rounding the corner towards his locker. He didn't even see Serena until he literally ran into her- sending books and papers and cell phones flying in every direction.
"Oh, Serena- I'm so sorry," he apologized, stooping down to pick up their scattered belongings.
"Oh no, it was my fault, I wasn't looking where I was going," she replied with a self-effacing smile, handing him his history book.
Once they'd finished sorting through their mixed papers and popping the batteries back into their phones, they stood in silence for a brief, awkward moment.
"So, uh... how's it going?" Nate asked casually, giving her a subtle once-over.
Well, she didn't appear to have been... ravished, he decided. At least, she didn't look as glassy-eyed and loose-limbed as the women who typically emerged from Chuck's suite on the weekends.
"Oh, not too bad," Serena responded. "It's just been kind of a rough week, I guess."
"Um, Serena, it's only Tuesday morning," he pointed out with a forced laugh.
"Yeah, probably not a good sign, right?" She grinned as she pushed a lock of blonde hair off her forehead, perfectly framing her face.
"Well…" Nate hesitated. "I just… wanted to make sure you're doing alright, you seemed upset yesterday."
He hoped to God that she'd been upset because of... girl issues. Not because she'd been unceremoniously shoved out of Chuck's bed at five o'clock on Saturday morning.
"Yeah, I'm okay. Blair texted me about having lunch, so hopefully we can straighten everything out," she replied, rifling through her hobo bag.
Retrieving a tube of lipgloss, she unscrewed the cap and began to apply it. Nate lost his train of thought for a moment, watching her slowly encircle her pursed lips with the sparkling pink gloss- and suddenly realized that it was his turn to speak.
"Oh, uh… that's great news," he finally responded. "Well, you know Blair, she just… overreacts sometimes."
"Believe me, I know." Serena laughed, shaking her head. "Apparently she heard some rumor I hooked up with Chuck, can you believe it?"
Nate blinked in surprise as an unexpected wave of relief washed over him.
"Oh, I mean, yeah," he stuttered, trying to stifle his elation. "Like, who would ever believe that?"
"Oh my God," Serena sighed, her eyes widening in dismay. "You heard it too?"
"Oh no, just…" Nate floundered for words. "Blair may have mentioned something about it," he hedged. "And I was kind of, you know, worried, after everything you've been going through with Dan…"
He paused a moment, looking searchingly at her. "But I knew it wasn't true," he lied.
"Of course it's not true," Serena insisted. "I would never do that to-" She stopped mid-sentence, apparently fumbling for an appropriate way to continue. "Well, I would never do that," she concluded vaguely, avoiding his gaze.
Nate felt his heart suddenly start to pound a little faster.
She was talking about him. Of course Serena would never sleep with his best friend, not after the night they'd shared... it must have meant something to her after all.
"Just because, well, it's Chuck," Serena explained with a shrug, smiling sheepishly.
"Right… yeah." He smiled back, holding her gaze for an extra beat or two before he cleared his throat. "So, um, are you coming to Blair's party on Friday?" he asked.
"Like she'd let me miss it." Serena laughed. "Although, I'm guessing she'll be more than happy to remove Dan from the guest list," she added wryly, rolling her eyes.
"Oh... so you guys haven't worked things out?" Nate asked, trying to sound unconcerned.
"No, I think maybe we're really just... better off as friends," she replied with a regretful sigh. A flash of sadness crossed her face, before she shook it off and gave him a dazzling smile. "Well, I'd better get to class. Good talking to you, Nate!"
She gave a little wave in farewell and strolled off down the hall. Nate stared after her for a lingering moment, a half-smile tilting his lips to one side- and then headed off toward his next class with a noticeable bounce to his step.
"Want me to roll another one?" Chuck drawled, gesturing towards the baggie on the coffee table with a languid wave of his hand.
"Nah, man, I'm all set," Nate responded, his features slackened with contentment.
The two sat in silence for a few moments, relaxing against the sofa and enjoying their mellow buzz.
"You know," he continued with a goofy grin, "I really missed this. It just wasn't the same without you around."
"Don't go getting all sentimental on me, Archibald," Chuck scoffed, although he couldn't resist a wry smile of his own.
He'd been avoiding Nate ever since Friday night, when he'd violated any remaining tenets of the bro code he hadn't already broken- but his best friend had invited himself over to the Palace suite after school today, claiming to be in desperate need of "relaxation". And since Chuck couldn't keep acting like he had something to hide, he'd been forced to acquiesce.
At least smoking up with Nate was a welcome distraction from the Blair-related turmoil that seemed to have taken over his brain. Approximately every five minutes, his thoughts kept circling back around to the question she'd asked him- and what might have happened if he'd actually answered it with an affirmative.
"I hear you found yourself a new smoking buddy," Nate commented with a chuckle. "I hope you're not replacing me with Serena?"
"Not likely." Chuck rolled his eyes. "A few puffs and she was done for the night. Must be out of practice after all that… good behavior."
Nate nodded, a thoughtful expression crossing his face.
"Remember that night… summer after freshman year, I think… when we were smoking up on Cooper's Beach, and Serena decided we should all go skinny-dipping?" he mused with a grin. "I can't believe we let her talk us into that, the water must've been like… fifty degrees."
Serena hadn't actually talked them into anything, as far as Chuck could recall. She'd just stripped down and taken off running towards the ocean- but apparently that was all the convincing Nate had needed.
"And Blair wouldn't even get in the water, she just stood on the beach yelling that she wasn't coming in after us if we drowned." Nate laughed, shaking his head.
"She came in eventually," Chuck replied absentmindedly.
He could still picture Blair standing on the shore with her arms crossed, muttering something about sharks as she watched them paddle around in the chest-deep water. He'd known she was probably feeling a little left out by that point- after all, the three of them had just spent the last few hours getting high, while she waved the smoke away from her face and wrinkled her nose in disgust.
Still, she'd finally decided to join them, slipping her little sundress over her head and folding it neatly on top of her sandals. He'd watched her step gingerly towards the water, squealing when the first icy wave hit her toes, before assuming a determined expression and jumping into the surf. That's when he'd realized the underwear she was wearing- white cotton panties adorned with little pink ribbon bows and a matching bra- became translucent when wet.
It had been somewhat of a turning point for him- the first time he'd had seriously inappropriate thoughts about his best friend's girlfriend.
Not that Nate had ever noticed, of course. He'd have to actually be paying attention to do that.
"I can't believe people were saying you two slept together," Nate commented, shaking his head.
Chuck's breath caught in his throat before he realized Nate was referring to Serena.
"Well, I suppose my reputation precedes me," he replied in a dry tone. "But you know what they say about shitting where you eat, and I'm stuck living with her for the rest of senior year."
Nate snorted in amusement, before suddenly turning pensive.
"Man, I can't believe we only have another year before we all go off to college," he said. "Applications are due by January… it just seems so soon."
"Yeah, Lily's started dropping 'subtle' hints about Brown over family dinner." Chuck rolled his eyes. "I'm running out of polite ways to explain that a school full of unshaven veganistas is… incompatible with my lifestyle."
"Have you thought about where you do want to go?" Nate asked, glancing over at him.
"Not really." Chuck shrugged disinterestedly. He figured his father would probably buy his way in to somewhere prestigious, since his grades certainly wouldn't be sufficient. "Still planning on Dartmouth?"
"Well, I figure my dad gave up his right to pressure me into Dartmouth when he, you know, fled the country as a fugitive," Nate responded with a hint of bitterness. "So I'm thinking USC, maybe UCLA. Somewhere warm and sunny and… away from this whole… family situation," he finished, gesturing awkwardly.
Chuck nodded in understanding.
"You think Blair's going to let you move to the other side of the country though?" he said with raised eyebrows. "She already has the Dartmouth-Yale commute all planned out."
"Yeah, I know." Nate sighed, leaning his head back and staring at the ceiling. "I don't think that's gonna work out anyway, though, us staying together when we go to college."
"What?" Chuck's brow furrowed in surprise. "I thought that was… part of the plan."
"Well yeah, but it's… college, you know? We'll be hours apart, really busy, meeting lots of new people..." Nate shrugged. "Besides, long-distance relationships never work."
"Does Blair… agree with that assessment?" Chuck asked, trying to control the hint of accusation in his voice.
"I dunno, man, it's not like we really talk about this stuff," Nate responded, as if the thought hadn't even occurred to him.
"So you're going to, what, break up with her at graduation?" he asked disbelievingly.
"I haven't really thought that far ahead," Nate replied testily. "I just figured we'd... go our separate ways. Isn't that what most people do when they go to college?"
The traitorous satisfaction that Chuck experienced every time Nate fucked things up with Blair was suddenly at war with an odd sense of resentment on her behalf.
"Nate, she thinks you two are going to end up married," he countered, swallowing down the tightness in his throat. "You can't just string her along for the rest of the year."
Nate frowned, looking annoyed.
"Dude, since when do you care so much about what Blair wants?" he asked skeptically.
Well, one of us has to, Chuck wanted to shoot back. But Nate was looking at him as if he'd grown a second head, and, realizing how uncharacteristic his reaction must seem, he fumbled for a response.
"It's not that, it's just…" He paused for a second, thinking over his next sentence. "Why would you spend your senior year tied down to a girl you're just going to dump anyway?"
"Well, I dunno, it's nice to… have someone," Nate hesitated. "And Blair's… well, she's a great girl."
That was the best he could come up with? Chuck thought in disbelief. Even given his best friend's limited vocabulary, there was no excuse for that sort of halfhearted bullshit.
Blair Waldorf wasn't a "great girl"- she was the most beautiful, devious, clever, infuriating girl he'd ever met. She kept him on his toes, challenging him in a way no one else ever had, and she drove him practically insane with wanting her.
And Nate was incapable of truly appreciating any of that, because he didn't understand her. He was just too simple, too… oblivious. He breezed through life, paying attention only to what was directly in front of him- unless he got distracted by something bright and shiny. When faced with someone as passionate and complicated as Blair, the best he could do was stare at her with a mix of mild interest and bewilderment. It was like that one time Chuck had watched him try to solve a Rubik's cube.
Admittedly, it had bruised his ego when she'd gone running back to Nate after their short affair last year- but it had infuriated him that she'd ended up back in the same dysfunctional relationship, with a guy whose indifference constantly made her feel second-best. And he just couldn't stomach the thought of Blair hanging onto her girlhood dreams of a happy future with Nate, only to have her hopes crushed, yet again, by a guy who didn't even deserve her.
He'd been fighting against it all week, trying to dismiss the idea as ridiculous, trying to talk himself out of his own feelings- but he could no longer deny that he wanted what Nate had. And even though the entire concept of a committed relationship had been... disconcerting, at first, he was definitely starting to warm up to it.
Because, Jesus- even though his boyfriend qualifications were questionable at best, he could surely do a better job than Nate.
And since his friend clearly wasn't going to figure out on his own that he should step aside, perhaps he needed a little shove in the right direction.
"Look, Blair's great and all," Chuck commented, assuming a bored tone. "But why delay the inevitable?"
"Well…" Nate paused, considering his words. "Things are fine between us, we've been getting along and everything… and the sex is always good," he added, with a suggestive grin.
Chuck gritted his teeth, willing himself not to beat the smug expression off his friend's face.
"Well, take it from me, there's plenty of great sex to be had out there," he commented dryly. "You're seventeen years old, Nathaniel. You should be enjoying yourself, not stuck at home playing husband." He put all the disdain he could muster into the last word.
"Hey, I still go out and have fun," Nate protested.
Chuck scoffed, rolling his eyes. "Are you kidding? You had to cancel on the burlesque show at Victrola this weekend because of some stuffy dinner at the Waldorfs. Is spending your Saturday nights making boring small-talk with someone else's parents really your idea of fun?"
"Well… not so much," Nate admitted with a self-deprecating grin.
"I'm just saying, it's our last year of high school, we should be living it up, playing the field," Chuck said, leaning back onto the sofa and shrugging his shoulders.
Seeing uncertainty in his friend's expression, he pressed his advantage, aiming for the one area where he knew Nate was vulnerable.
"Not to mention, it's your last chance to score with any of our… eligible female classmates," he pointed out, raising his eyebrows suggestively.
Nate remained silent, but it was obvious from his furrowed brow that the hamster on his brain-wheel was running at full speed.
"Just think of all the… missed opportunities," Chuck mused, his trademark smarminess in full effect.
"Yeah, I guess," Nate murmured, appearing lost in thought.
"But enough with all this girl talk." Chuck sat up and retrieved his baggie of weed and rolling papers from the coffee table. "What do you say to another joint?"
The party was in full swing when Blair and Serena stepped into 230 Fifth that Friday night. Floor-to-ceiling windows lined two walls of the enormous club, providing a breathtaking view of the city, and the dance floor in the center was already crowded with laughing partygoers. Along the sides, the gleaming glass-and-chrome bar and opulent velvet sofas were packed with students lucky enough to receive an invite.
"Come on S, you have to see the roof deck!" Blair tugged on her friend's arm, leading her up the central staircase.
Trees and flowers dotted the large rooftop terrace, adorned by strings of white lights that twinkled against the Manhattan skyline. Looming above them was an unobstructed view of the Empire State Building, glowing blue against the night sky.
"Oh my gosh, B, this place is gorgeous," Serena gushed, peering out over the balcony. "I can't believe you managed to book it on such short notice!"
Blair shrugged modestly, unable to hide a satisfied smile. She'd had to bribe and threaten a few people, of course, but the ends certainly justified the means.
Things had actually been looking up over the past few days. She'd managed to pull together a fabulous party, Nate had been unusually sweet, agreeing to his upcoming boyfriendly obligations without his typical hedging, and she'd made up with Serena- albeit with as little actual explanation for her behavior as possible. Her best friend had attempted to do some digging with regards to Chuck, of course, but Blair had shot that line of conversation down with a quickness.
Chuck, meanwhile, had mostly been avoiding her, which helped stave off her crushing sense of humiliation. And Serena had even rebuffed Humphrey's inept attempts at a reunion- a state of affairs which pleased Blair to no end.
Plus, she'd found the perfect dress for tonight yesterday at Bendel's. It was knee-length ivory silk, the strapless bodice overlaid with black lace and curved into a sweetheart neckline. The flared skirt swirled around her slim legs, which were accentuated by black peep-toe pumps, and a long strand of pearls was knotted around her neck, glowing against the black lace.
Tonight was her night, she thought with satisfaction, and everything had turned out flawlessly.
"Step one, cocktails!" Serena declared, beaming with an infectious smile.
She flagged down a passing waiter, who fetched their martinis with almost comical speed, and the two girls settled into the VIP area, chatting happily and holding court over the rest of the party.
"Well, you seem like you're in an awfully good mood. The Humphrectomy seems to have really brightened up your disposition," Blair commented teasingly.
Serena rolled her eyes. "I realize you two don't exactly see eye-to-eye, but he does have plenty of… good qualities, you know."
"Which he's always more than willing to expound upon, in excruciating detail," Blair replied, with an impudent grin. "So… thank you, for sparing me more of that."
Serena laughed and shook her head. "You know, I think you two are a lot more similar than you're willing to admit."
"That is the single meanest thing you've ever said to me, Serena van der Woodsen," Blair declared, recoiling in mock horror. "Take it back!"
The two girls dissolved in laughter, pausing only when the waiter reappeared with another round of drinks.
"So," Serena said, leveling a questioning look at Blair. "Are we going to talk about what happened with Chuck?"
Blair sighed in exasperation. "I'm sorry, was there some part of 'never mention it again' that was unclear to you?"
"B..." Serena entreated. "Look, we're supposed to be best friends. Why won't you tell me what's going on?"
The actual answer was that it was too horrible and embarrassing to even admit to herself, Blair thought, fidgeting uncomfortably with the stem of her glass. But given what Serena had witnessed, and the fact that she'd been on the receiving end of multiple Blair Waldorf meltdowns as a result... she probably deserved at least an explanation.
"It's just... it was just a stupid little crush, that's all," she finally replied, staring down into the translucent depths of her cocktail. "I didn't want to talk about it because it's... totally insignificant, and kind of embarrassing, and I'm... taking care of it."
"Taking care of it, as in..." Serena trailed off questioningly.
"As in, I'm taking care of it, so it's no longer a problem," Blair's tone made it clear that the discussion was now over.
"Well, that's a relief," Serena responded dryly. "So you won't care that he's standing over at the bar, watching you like a hawk."
At her words, Blair's gaze jerked upwards and collided with Chuck's, who was observing her stealthily over the rim of his martini glass. She quickly looked back downwards and pretended to smooth some wrinkles out of her skirt.
"Dammit, Serena, now he's going to think we were talking about him," she snapped.
"We were talking about him," Serena pointed out, looking amused.
Blair exhaled loudly. "See, this is why I didn't tell you anything," she declared, with a frosty look in Serena's direction. "What's he even doing here, anyway? I made sure his invitation got accidentally lost in the mail."
She allowed herself one more casual glance in Chuck's direction, appraising the fit of his pin-striped black suit, paired with a white shirt, matching pocket square and black bowtie. It was simple, elegant, and far more restrained than his usual color palate. In fact, she thought, inspecting his shirt more carefully, that wasn't white... it was ecru. Either he'd been stalking her on her shopping trip yesterday or he could read her damn mind.
Looking back at her best friend, who was now observing her with barely concealed mirth, she narrowed her eyes in irritation.
"You need to loosen up a little, B," Serena said. "So you're attracted to him, it's not the worst thing in the world."
"That is exactly what it is, and might I remind you that I have a-"
Blair paused for a second, seeing Nate approach them. "-boyfriend," she finished, lips tilting up in a welcoming smile.
"Hey Nate!" Serena chirped, a bit too brightly.
He smiled in greeting, his gaze shifting between the two of them for a moment.
"Hey sweetie, we were just talking about you," Blair slid over, patting the seat beside her.
"Actually, Blair," He cleared his throat. "Do you want to go check out the view on the other side of the deck? Just, uh... the two of us?"
Brightening at the romantic gesture, Blair rose to her feet and tucked her arm into his. She could feel a set of eyes boring into her back, sending prickles down her spine, but she stubbornly ignored them, smiling up at Nate as they strolled towards the far side of the terrace.
She paused once they reached the railing, admiring the spectacular view as she took a sip of her drink.
"All your hard work must've paid off, the party really turned out great," Nate observed, giving her a little smile.
"It did, didn't it?" Blair sighed happily, letting her gaze draft over the crowd. Chuck, she noticed, was no longer anywhere in sight. The realization produced an odd pang in the pit of her stomach.
Brushing aside her conflicted feelings, she turned back to her boyfriend with a bright smile.
"Was there something you wanted to talk to me about?" she asked expectantly.
Nate opened his mouth and then closed it again, turning to look out at the vast cityscape before them.
"Blair-" he began, and then fell silent, looking distinctly uncomfortable.
She felt a familiar feeling of dread creep up inside her. This couldn't be happening again, she thought in dismay. He wouldn't do that to her, not in the middle of her own party.
"I've just been doing some thinking, about... us," he continued, faltering slightly over the words. "And, you know... the future."
Blair nodded, trying to keep her expression composed.
"And..." He hesitated. "You know I love you, Blair, but..." He stopped again, as if he couldn't quite get the words out.
"But you want to break up," she finished for him, the cool tone of her voice betraying nothing of her roiling emotions.
The expression of relief on his face caused an unexpected surge of anger to flood over her. Of course she had to say it for him, she thought disgustedly. God forbid he actually grow a pair for once in his life.
"It's just that... you know, we're so young. Way too young to settle down," he continued earnestly. "And maybe in the future, well... I dunno, but it just seems like maybe we need some time on our own for now."
She nodded again, her face a mask of calm as she absorbed his half-hearted excuses.
"I'm sorry, Blair, you know I would never want to hurt you..." he said apologetically, taking her hand in his own as if to convince her of his sincerity.
Her mind recoiled at his sympathetic tone- he felt sorry for her, he pitied her... just like everyone else at this party would when they found out. Except for the people who hated her- they were eager to see her downfall and would absolutely relish another public embarrassment.
And to think, she'd been considering doing this herself only a week ago. She could've ended things on her own terms, making it clear to everyone how sought-after she was, that any guy would be lucky to be with her. And now, instead, it was Blair Waldorf... rejected, again. Found wanting, inadequate, not good enough... again.
She swallowed hard, fighting back the tears she could feel forming in her eyes.
"Blair..." Nate trailed off, clearly hoping she would say something.
Forcing down all of the hurt, and frustration, and years worth of pent-up rage, she arranged her face into an expression of composure.
"You're right, Nate," she replied calmly, withdrawing her hand from his. "Clearly we've both just been going through the motions for awhile now, and there's no point in dragging it out any further."
"I didn't mean that-" he tried to protest, but she shook her head, a tight smile on her face.
"Really, Nate, it's fine," she responded firmly.
Sadness, regret, and unease comingled across his handsome face as he regarded her for a long moment.
"I was hoping we could still... be friends?" he ventured cautiously.
"Of course," Blair replied with forced breeziness. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a party to host."
With that, she turned and headed back towards the gathering. She forced herself to keep her steps slow and measured, greeting several people with a little wave as she walked by. She just had to keep it together until she could get out of here.
Well take it from me
What else could you do
Where do you get off
And how can I get there, too?
Chuck lounged against the outside of the building, staring down at the sidewalk as he took another swig from his flask. He always kept it filled with the finest Macallan or Dalmore, but it might as well have been malt liquor for all he was tasting it.
Allowing his head to fall back against the stone wall, he gazed up at the night sky.
He wasn't sure why he'd even come tonight. Blair clearly hadn't wanted him here, which she'd made obvious by pretending he was invisible while she fawned all over her precious Nate... who was apparently taking the path of least resistance and continuing the devoted boyfriend façade indefinitely. After their conversation the previous night, he'd hoped that Nate might finally take some initiative and make a decision for once... but it was clear his master plan had failed.
It was probably for the best, Chuck thought, taking another swig. He just would've have screwed it all up at the first available opportunity anyway. And this way he was completely unattached and unencumbered, free to pursue any woman who caught his eye.
Sure, he may have spent the last few weeks- or year- obsessing over one woman in particular, but it would pass. It was just an infatuation, his first experience feeling any hint of affection towards a girl he wanted to fuck. And if she was foolish enough to return his feelings…well, he thought, his expression hardening... that probably wouldn't last for long.
The slam of a door roused him from his thoughts, and he was stunned to see Blair stepping through the front door, looking hurriedly back and forth in search of a cab.
Until her gaze fell upon him, and she stopped in her tracks. Outwardly, she looked just as polished and flawless as she always did- every curl in place, every inch of fabric perfectly pressed. But her eyes were wide and shiny with tears, her cheeks flushed with color, and her lips parted slightly as she stared back at him.
"You okay?" he asked, trying to sound unconcerned.
Her eyes trailed over him, taking in every inch of his appearance- from his artfully tousled hair down to his Italian leather shoes. Feeling suddenly discomfited by her scrutiny, he screwed the cap onto his flask and tucked it back into his pocket.
"Nate and I just broke up," she responded distantly, averting her gaze.
Chuck felt a sudden surge of emotions well up inside of him- surprise, sympathy, trepidation, and an unexpected giddiness he fought to keep contained.
"Sorry to hear that," he replied carefully. He studied the emotions flickering across her own expressive face, trying to gauge her reaction.
"Sure you are," she scoffed back, rolling her eyes skyward.
He said nothing in response, his silence acknowledging that accuracy of that statement. He was sorry to see her upset, of course- but sorry that Nate was finally out of the picture? Not even a little bit.
Blair glanced back at him, the flash of hesitancy in her eyes quickly replaced by decisiveness.
"I need a ride home," she declared. She tucked a strand of glossy brown hair behind her ear, only the slight trembling of her fingers betraying any anxiety.
Blinking in surprise, Chuck followed her gaze to his limo, parked a short distance down the block.
"I'm sure Arthur wouldn't mind a brief detour…" he replied, but she'd already turned and started down the sidewalk before he finished speaking.
He shot a glance back at the club's entrance as he followed her, half-expecting Nate to wander out at any moment and put a stop to the inappropriate thoughts running rampant through his mind, probably with a right hook to the face. As he watched the shapely legs of his best friend's ex maneuver their way into his limo, he conceded that he'd probably deserve it.
Chuck settled into the leather seat beside her, unbuttoning his jacket and stretching his legs out in front of him. Clearing his throat- which ended up sounding more nervous than self-assured, as he'd intended- he realized that this was his first chance in almost a year to make a legitimate move on Blair.
It would be crass and presumptuous to move in for the kill immediately, he thought. He could instruct Arthur to take the scenic route, but that would be absurdly transparent. Or he could offer to walk her up to her penthouse, make sure she was alright- but coming from him, such gentlemanly behavior would be… similarly transparent.
How did you approach seduction when you actually wanted the girl to stick around afterwards? He figured they should probably have a conversation about it, or… something.
Pondering this awkward and potentially embarrassing scenario, he chanced a sideways look at Blair, surprised to find her staring right back at him.
They regarded each other for several long seconds. He recognized the longing reflected in those deep brown eyes, mirroring his own, and his breath caught in his throat. When her tongue darted out to moisten her upper lip, his gaze followed the movement, watching in rapt fascination as it traced a wet arc across her mouth.
Then Blair leaned in towards him, and, without a second of hesitation, pressed her lips firmly against his.
Frozen in surprise for only a moment, he recovered quickly, moving his mouth eagerly against hers. When her tongue slid teasingly across his upper lip, he felt the tingling sensation shoot throughout his entire body, his groin tightening immediately in response.
There was nothing timid, or hesitant, or restrained, about this kiss- her tongue invaded his mouth, stroking boldly against his own, as she slid her hand up the back of his neck and grasped at his hair. Stunned and aroused by her aggressiveness, Chuck returned the kiss fervently, wrapping one hand around her waist to draw her closer.
Blair moaned softly into his mouth, intoxicated by the heady scent of his skin and the faint taste of scotch on his tongue. She nibbled impatiently at his lower lip and felt him arch towards hers in response, his hands pulling her almost on top of him in an attempt to press their bodies together.
Emboldened by his eagerness, Blair slid one bare leg over his thighs and lifted herself up over his lap, straddling him. His hands gripped her waist, pressing her against the hardness in the front of his trousers and rocking their hips together in an erotic rhythm. One hand still tangled in his hair, she grasped the side of his jaw with the other, angling his head to the side to capture his mouth again in a deep, hungry kiss.
Their mouths broke contact long enough to take several deep, panting breaths, as they regarded each other with unabashed want.
She'd been fighting this desire for so long that the freedom to finally indulge it felt positively exhilarating. Tonight, she felt uninhibited, desired, willing to take exactly what she wanted without regard to the consequences. She had a craving, and she was going to make damn sure it got satisfied.
"Just one night," she murmured again his lips. "That's all I need."
Although Chuck was quickly becoming too aroused to think straight, her words managed to penetrate his foggy brain. Pulling his mouth a few inches away from hers, he took several deep breaths as he tried to recover some sort of mental equilibrium.
"Blair-" he managed to get out, before he was silenced by another passionate kiss. Distracted by her mouth for a few moments, he finally managed to drag his lips away once again.
"Blair, I think we should talk-"
He was cut off again- this time by her finger pressed firmly against his mouth, dragging ever so slowly down across his lower lip.
"No talking," she whispered, in a determined, bossy tone that sent a rush of blood straight to his groin. She leaned down over him, pressing her lips against his neck and moving up towards his jaw with slow, lingering kisses.
His brain made one last feeble protest, a niggling voice in the back of his head reminding him that things remained unsettled between them.
Then he felt her tongue trace along the shell of his ear, her hot breath leaving a trail of fire in its wake. She sank her teeth into his earlobe while she rolled her hips against his lap, and the crisscrossing of pain and pleasure circuits caused a helpless groan to escape his throat.
At this point, his brain was officially no longer in control of the situation.
Almost of their own volition, his hands slid up the satiny skin of her legs and his fingers gripped into her thighs. The ivory fabric of her skirt draped over him in a silky pool as his hands moved further underneath it. When he reached her hips, he traced the delicate lace of her thong around to her back, cupping her bare ass in his palms and kneading it firmly.
Blair purred into his ear in response, rubbing herself against him with a torturous full-body grind, and he felt his arousal escalate to near-hazardous levels. Desperate to feel her bare skin against his own, he moved his hands up to roam across the back of her bodice and pulled at the lace overlay with uncharacteristic impatience.
She made an amused noise, the sound vibrating against his neck- and reaching back, guided his hands to the hidden zipper on the side of her dress. He wasted no time pulling the metal tab downward, his fingers trailing over the newly exposed flesh, before dragging the entire mess of fabric over her head and tossing it haphazardly across the limo.
Leaning back slightly in his lap, she looked down at him with a hot, enticing stare.
And Chuck paused, taking a moment to appreciate what was most assuredly the sexiest thing he'd ever seen in his life- Blair Waldorf, straddling his lap in nothing but a very revealing lingerie set, disheveled curls cascading around her bare shoulders, lips red and swollen from kissing him. Her creamy breasts spilling temptingly out of her lacy black bra, a knotted strand of pearls nestled seductively between them. The scant triangle of fabric between her legs, translucent material barely concealing the wispy curls beneath.
"See something you want?" she murmured, her hand stroking down his chest.
"Very much," he managed to get out, grabbing her hips to pull her against him- but she braced her hands on the seat behind his head, teasingly holding her body at a distance.
"How much?" she asked archly.
Chuck exhaled slowly, taking one more lingering glance over her impossibly gorgeous body.
"So fucking much, Blair, you have no idea," he responded in a husky voice, sliding his hands up from her waist to palm her breasts. He leaned forward, pressing a trail of kisses across one- "how goddamn sexy you are"- and then the other- "and how badly I want to fuck you right now"- massaging both with his hands, he gently pinched her nipples through the lace, humming in satisfaction at her throaty gasp.
Reaching around her back, Chuck deftly unhooked and discarded her bra. And this time she didn't resist when he pulled her forward- kissing, licking, and then sucking each taut bud in turn, rewarded by her breathy little moans of pleasure.
When he finally came up for air, Blair was pulling off his jacket, unraveling his bowtie and tugging impatiently at the buttons of his shirt.
"Whoa there, Waldorf," he said with mock annoyance, in between hasty, fervent kisses. "I like this shirt."
Finally conquering the buttons, she ran her hands down his bare chest, feeling him hiss against her mouth when she dug in with her nails.
"And these pants?" she asked seductively, yanking open his trousers with no regard to buttons or zippers. "Do you like them too?"
Blair stroked him through the thin silk of his boxers, watching in satisfaction as his eyes fluttered closed.
"No, the pants can go," he replied hoarsely, feeling himself flex against her hand. A moment later, she'd pulled his boxers out of the way as well, leaving only the barest scrap of fabric separating them.
As their mouths met once more in a heated kiss, their hands feverishly exploring every inch of each other's exposed skin, he could feel how wet she was against him- and it took every ounce of self-control he possessed to not just push her little thong aside and plunge himself into her. He clenched his jaw as she rubbed herself against him, moaning into his mouth at the pleasurable friction.
Knowing he couldn't hold back much longer, he fumbled blindly for his jacket, retrieving a condom from the inside pocket. Barely swallowing back a moan as she circled him with her hand, stroking along his rigid length, he managed to tear open the package and slip it on in record time.
As Chuck shuddered against her and tightened his hands around her hips, trying desperately to stay in control of himself, Blair felt a surge of gratification course through her. Kissing her way down along his jawline, she sucked lightly on his neck, delighting in the sound of his breath catching in his throat and the feel of his pulse beating erratically against her tongue.
Then, with unexpected speed, he slid his fingers underneath the lacy edge of her thong, ripping the flimsy fabric off in one swift motion. And when he positioned himself at her entrance, she gripped onto the leather seat back and sank down onto his cock.
Gasping against his neck at the sensation of him filling her so completely, she remained still for just a moment, feeling him throb inside her.
"Fuck Blair, you feel so good," he groaned.
Blair pulled back slightly to see him watching her with half-closed eyes, an expression of barely-restrained lust on his face. God, she could never get enough of him looking her like that, she thought. She slipped her hands under his open shirt to grip his shoulders and began riding him in a vigorous rhythm. Angling her pelvis to give herself the stimulation she needed, she whimpered at the resulting currents of pleasure coursing through her body, the aching need that deepened with every stroke.
As he thrust his hips up to meet her, Chuck felt the last vestiges of his control begin to slip away. Her taut body moving over him, her nails digging sharply into her shoulders, her hot, slick channel sliding up and down on his cock, were all causing the pressure inside him to build to an unbearable degree. Massaging her breasts with both hands and feeling them bounce against his palms, he gritted his teeth in one last desperate attempt to stave off his release.
But when he watched Blair throw her head back, her breathy whimpers turning into cries of ecstasy, he knew he was lost. He grasped her hips and thrust forcefully into her, the tension inside him finally boiling over in an intense surge of pleasure. It swelled and deepened, rolling over every inch of his body as he shuddered helplessly against her.
He could feel her inner muscles spasm around him as she rode out her orgasm, her nails digging sharply into his flesh, her thighs clenching his hips in a vise-like grip. Groaning her name, he jerked into her with one last deep thrust. Their trembling bodies still entwined, they collapsed together back onto the seat.
Holy shit, he thought, through a fog of post-coital bliss. This was, without a doubt, the best feeling he'd ever experienced in his entire life. The slight weight of Blair's body rested on him, her slim thighs still encircling his hips. He nuzzled against her shoulder, inhaling the scent of her hair, the natural fragrance of her skin, the undeniable aroma of sex that still hung heavy in the air.
Blair slowly regained her senses to find herself draped across Chuck's torso. She could feel the steady rhythm of his warm breath against her shoulder and his heartbeat gradually returning to its normal rate against her chest. She lay against him, limp as a ragdoll, overwhelmed by a hazy feeling of contentedness.
That is, until her brain started functioning again, and reminded her of what, exactly, she'd just done.
Holy shit, she realized. She'd just thrown herself at Chuck with all the subtlety of a drunk stripper giving a lap dance. He probably would've tucked dollar bills into her g-string if she hadn't been pinning him to the seat the entire time. All he wanted from her was sex, and she'd gone ahead and served it up to him on a silver platter.
Feeling her face flush red with mortification, she further realized that she was in a very compromising position- her arms wrapped around his shoulders, face buried against his neck, straddling his lap with him… still inside of her- from which there was no graceful escape route.
Then she felt his hands, which had previously been resting slackly on her hips, slide around to her backside and press her pelvis into his one more time, the motion sending an unexpected aftershock of pleasure throbbing through her body.
At that moment, the limo rolled to a stop in front of her penthouse, and she realized this might be her only chance at a dignified exit. Disentangling herself from him in one swift motion, she slid down the side bench and started gathering the scattered remnants of her clothing.
Well, most of it anyway, she thought, eying the torn scrap of black lace on the floor.
"What are you doing?" Chuck murmured, following her movements with half-lidded eyes.
"Going home," Blair replied, as if it were patently obvious. She hooked her bra in back, shaking out her dress before tugging it down over her head.
A sudden wave of frustration roused Chuck out of his blissful daze. She couldn't just leave like this, he thought- not again. She was supposed to want to stay, and talk, and do… whatever it is people do when they... want to be with someone. Fuck if he knew what that was, but he'd never get a chance to find out if she just bolted.
Watching her zip up her dress with an increasing sense of alarm, he realized she would be gone in about ten seconds unless he did something to stop her. Chuck fumbled to fasten his pants, and then slid down the seat to where she was hastily maneuvering into her heels.
"Hey, what's the rush?" he asked softly, covering her hand with his own to still her movements.
"We agreed this was only one night," she reminded him, her eyes averted.
He'd agreed to no such thing- but even though her words stung him, he wasn't about to give up that easily. As long as she didn't leave, he still had a chance to convince her.
"And that," he replied, "was only… twenty minutes." Cupping her chin in his hand and tilting it towards him, he pressed a trail of kisses along the line of her jaw. "So you owe me…" he whispered into her ear, "the rest of the night."
As his mouth made its way down her neck, his tongue darting out to taste the beads of perspiration on her skin, she felt an undeniable shiver of arousal ripple through her body.
"So what do you say we relocate to somewhere more… comfortable?" he murmured, sliding his hands around her hips to pull her closer.
Well, that did sound… so very tempting, she thought. If it was just for one night, she might as well make the most of it.
Meeting his mouth in a hot, sensual kiss, she let her body melt into his once again.
After all, there'd be plenty of time to start avoiding him tomorrow.
A/N: So, hopefully this chapter made all of your wildest dreams come true. I'm pretty sure Chuck's did... at least for now. Anyway, since writing smut is super hard (blame my uptight Puritan upbringing), I'd love to hear your thoughts!
Thanks, as always, to my beta, co-conspirator, and partner-in-bitchery Terrabeth, who's managed to improve my writing immeasurably- often despite my own stubborn resistance.
And since my plans to reply individually to reviews have gone from "procrastinating" to "failing miserably", I wanted to recognize the wonderful people who've taken the time to leave me such lovely feedback on the last two chapters, I appreciate each and every one of you: tiff xoxo, Sally, Natalie2010, YasminY, 88Mary88, Kadlin, Temp02, notoutforawalk, katharienne, Shop247, GGfan73104, maryl, 13maggi13, D, Arazadia, mlharper, ellibells, flipped, Rossiee, Anon, ggloverxx19, chaval, LadyB, annablake, ana, 24hrscout, Abby, Ladynet, dreamgurl, Krazy4Spike, livelybass, CBfanhere, andi, LeftWriter224, Terrabeth, cb, fiona249, jsta, and last but most definitely not least, Noirreigne.