"Who said you have to lose anything?" Mercedes asked Rachel, confusion laced in her tone.
"Okay then, you know what you guys?" Rachel sighed as she wrapped her arms around. "Let's make a deal. Six months from now we all come back right here to this place. Because I'm going to need something to look forward to. If I've learned anything from this year it's that you guys are my life."
"You guys are my life."
"You guys are my life."
"You guys are my life."
Kurt's hand tightened on the handle of his umbrella. The rain was coming down in sheets, soaking everyone and everything in its path and silencing the typical noise that usually pervaded the city at this hour of the day. While it did hinder his view of the faces of those people braving the weather and passing him by on the semi-crowded street, it was painfully apparent that it wasn't hiding the six people he had hoped he would be seeing. The six people who had made some half-cocked agreement of reunion made six months earlier. The six people who had promised friendship, promised resilience, promised safety – none of which Kurt felt in this moment as he stood alone.
Because for all that they had promised in their five years together, this is the promise he had hoped that would hold; one that he would be able to fall back on. He had spent most of his life as an outsider. It wasn't until he joined Glee that he began to connect to people again and break down his innermost walls, and even then it took time. He always maintained his defensive attitude and never felt like he truly belonged either with the guys or the girls. No one had truly made him feel included.
Except Blaine.
Blaine had been the one to break down all of his barriers. He was the one who showed Kurt the most kindness and compassion and love that never asked for anything but to be loved in return. He showed Kurt the true meaning of intimacy not only the physical sense, but in the emotional. Because from the moment they met Blaine had never hid or censored his emotions from Kurt or from the world. He felt deeply and passionately and it showed in every nuance of his character whether he was angry, or happy, or sad. And the amount of love he held for Kurt was expressed in the same deep-hearted passion as anything else, and yet had seemed so much more. It seemed grander – whether in the large romantic gesture of his proposal or the simplicity of the interlacing of their hands as they walked down the street together.
And Kurt had ruined that and had thrown it all away after a strenuous day and an argument about toothpaste.
"Maybe," he thought sadly as he turned and headed for the entrance of the building, "maybe I'm meant to be alone. Or maybe I need therapy."