Hey everyone, sorry it's been such a long time. I'll give my full excuse at the end of this next chapter. I hope you enjoy. This chapter is about turning her into a soldier.

Disclaimer: I don't own Halo, if i did i wouldn't let the covenant get their hands on the adorable Huragoks (Engineers).

Chapter 6: To Kill?

My sleep was disturbed not long after finally drifting off. I was so tired I didn't have the strength or energy to complain as Linda pulled me up and half lead, half carried me away. I was glad for the exhaustion, it numbed the pain. Either that or it no longer hurt as much.

Neither me or Linda said a word as we followed after the other Spartans through the corridors and passed the doors. By the time we stepped out into the cold air I was feeling a lot more awake. Luckily we weren't in the cold air too long as we followed into one of the waiting pelicans.

I spotted Anders and the doctor and scary santa were all on the same pelican, I also noticed that not all the Spartans were on this pelican, they must have been in one of the others with the rest of the scientists and such. I felt some pity for the poor scientists that would have to suffer the awkward atmosphere of the pelican with the dozen plus Spartans, then realised I'd suffer the same fate.

The temptation to ask what was happening the entire flight was only suppressed by the awkward silence. Only the comforting fact that I was among friends kept me from some kind of nervous breakdown. Their military strictness was apparent and I knew more than ever that I stuck out like a sore thumb.

The flight took a while, but it felt like hours until with Linda's help we all filed out. We were shown the way to our barracks where we all choose beds. I promptly fell on my bed ignoring the pain in my as my injury flared up as I became more active.

Shortly after I fell on my bed everyone left, I heard they had lost people in the operations and that they were having a funeral. I had been invited by John during the flight, but I had to politely decline. It just didn't feel right showing up, I hardly knew them. It'd be like showing up to the funeral of a friends friend that you'd never met. Plus I felt I'd only make a mockery of them as I didn't know the proper procedure for a military funeral. It was just better if I didn't go.

I decided to close my eyes and try to calm the pain. As I did I couldn't help but think of all I left behind. Getting to where I was now, was hard, would getting back be easier. I had been transported here almost 5 months ago. In that time I had been operated on, tattooed and trained to kill. Would my friends recognise me? Was I missing, was I dreaming, did any of this really happen? And did I want to return?

Realising sleep would never come after I raised such questions, I thought I'd instead try for some answers. I decided to try to find the doctor and ask her if she could tell me anything new about how I got here and if there was any possibility of return. And if that failed I'd just ask her what was happening next. If you can't go back, go forward.

Of course I got halfway across the room and John decided to round us all up and move us to some kind of meeting room of the ship. In silence we filed into the raised seating of the room and I looked down at the selection of people who were going to be speaking, or were at least involved in whatever this was. I could tell from the appearance that the ships captain was among them, strange for him to bother on a simple meeting. Unless this wasn't a simple meeting. I just hoped the reason for his presence wasn't what I though it was.

"You are gathered here today for your first mission," the colour drained from my face as he spoke. I so hoped it was my imagination. The captain continued, "you are to take out an insurrectionist base hidden in an asteroid belt. Mendez, would you continue?"

As scary santa moved forwards and continued to explain I just let his words pass over me, was this really happening? Just as I was getting used to life here was I really going to have to kill someone? The briefing came to an end and John stood up, "For this mission I'll only be able to take a few, Sam, Kelly, Linda, Fred and Alexa. Everyone else will have the hard part of staying behind. Those going on the mission, be at the armoury in fifteen minutes.

I wanted to groan at my pathetic luck, I was injured and I was tired, and I was poorly skilled compared to the others. Why pick me for this mission? Maybe if I told him I was injured I could get out of it, no if I did that then I'd put my cover story in an even worse position, Spartans wouldn't care about a scratch. I needed to be tough. I snapped out of my thoughts as Kelly slapped me from my stupor. I mindlessly followed her down the metal corridors of the ship to where I presumed the armoury resided.

As the doors opened I was in shock at the number of weapons that adorned the room. Now I wasn't a massive fan of weapons, but I did like having the choice to pick the best one for the job. As I walked in, John handed me a wrapped cloth, "Halsey gave this to me to give to you after the funeral, that it was a graduation present to cheer you up." I took it and tentatively unwrapped it. It turned out to be a sword, after the lessons I guessed it made sense. I doubted as well stocked as the armoury was that it would keep these.

I wrapped it back up and made a mental note to thank the doctor later. "Listen up everyone, we should take similar guns so we can exchange ammo, except Linda. Also the crew uniforms have shown up, we should wear them over our black vacuum suits."

I decided to blindly follow their lead, I wrapped up the sword to inspect later, donned the suit and uniform, reached for a bag to place a MA2B rifle and several clips of ammo in. As I was doing this the others were discussing things among themselves like the use of the vacuum body suit and several areas of the plan and the strange packs Sam was carrying, something told me they weren't filled with candy and rainbows.

I just decided to quietly get myself ready and hope they didn't try to involve me in all the confusing talk. I reached for a long combat knife and slid it in my bag to join my helmet, rifle, six clips of ammo and frag grenade. Last second I also decided to reach for a couple smoke grenades. Having finished I decided to sit and wait for the others.

I noticed how they moved precisely while seemingly focusing on the conversation. As if they had been doing it for years. Multitasking must have come naturally to them.

I'd just stay out of their way until they finished and then I'd follow their lead.

It wasn't long until we were sneaking through the Laden, while I was silently praying to whatever was out there that we weren't seen, or more importantly I wasn't seen. I really didn't want to be the reason we failed or died. It wasn't long until it was suggested we hide in the water containers. I watched carefully for any signs of approaching crew members while the others rigged it to stop it filling and then placing some nets for us to rest on while inside it.

After Sam set a sensor I felt a lot more comfortable with the situation, truth be told I was scared, scared of failing, scared of succeeding and scared of what I may be forced to do during this mission. Everything had suddenly gotten very real very quickly for me. I wasn't just going to be some kind of ceremonial soldier; I was going to be frontline, special ops.

I guess my worry showed on my face as Sam put his hand on my shoulder, "Don't worry, this netting's secure and the container thinks it is secure, you're not going to get wet." His smile and friendly jest calmed the torrent of thoughts and worry.

I just nodded back to him, there was no reason to let him in on what was really concerning me, although I think he knew. I decided to make myself useful, "Why don't you get some sleep, I'll keep watch."

He just gave another smile and decided to lie down for some rest, leaving just myself and Kelly awake. I took the time to examine the paint that was used to cover the marks on my face, and then to examine my already healing wounds.

I was amazed at how fast and advanced technology was here. I was only shot about a day ago and already I was cleared for combat. Although I think that it might have had something to do with the fact that they were stun rounds and being a Spartan, but still I thought it was pretty amazing.

I don't know if it was just the unusual calm or the rhythmic sound of water lapping at the sides of the container, but my thoughts drifted back. My thoughts drifted back to the last training exorcise with the other Spartans, then to the months of little sleep and excess exhaustion. Then back to my time aboard the ship with the pilots and odst and with Anders and the doc. I smiled at those good times, I wondered if I'd have such good times with them again.

Then my thoughts leapt back, back to the days before all this, before the operation I survived, and the training I received, for the first time since I got here I thought about home. It was a mistake. Memories of my old friends came flooding back, I tried to stop them, to push them away, but I couldn't rid myself of their faces. Of the questions, did they miss me? Would they recognise me? And, would they accept what I'm becoming?

That was the last straw, I had to clear my head, I had to focus. By the time I opened my eyes I was face to face with Kelly, she must have thought I was falling asleep. I smiled at her.

"Look here, see this, when the John wakes up show him this, he'll like you all the more." She was grinning at her discovery and her idea on how to use it. I was still trying to figure out what it was that I was supposed to show John.

She could probably see my confusion. "I'll give you a clue, the chief smokes them." That made me think all the more, who's the chief, to my knowledge John doesn't smoke anything. I looked down the list of things to see what could be smoked.

There, Sweet Williams Cigars, they were definitely smokable and I remember seeing scary santa smoke them. "Oh, you mean scary santa. I remember those cigars he always smokes. So do you think they'll help us find what we're looking for?"

It was Kelly turn to be confused, "Yeah, these are high quality cigars and will probably be for the Colonel. What do you mean scary santa? And yeah, if you give this to John he'll be grateful." She was clearly dazed.

I understood what she was trying to do, she was trying to set me up to earn brownie points with the leader, "Sorry but you found it, you tell him. I can earn my own place, I appreciate your help but I need to pull my own weight." That she understood. "Also the man I know that smokes them has a deep laugh, kinda like santa, but scarier." That she didn't understand.

I couldn't help a suppressed laugh that came out more like a giggle at the look of confusion on her face, I needed that laugh. Kelly just shook her head and sighed. I guess my antics were far from their norm and I guess they didn't know how to respond.

I looked at the time on the inside of my helmet, still about six hours until arrival and my side was starting to hurt. Maybe I could get some sleep. I guess Kelly figured out what I was thinking as she went over and woke Sam and nodded to me. I took that as the signal to get some Z's.

I was woken up rather normally for once, it was, or so I thought, an alarm clock. I guess I looked rather silly as I floundered around in the net, with my right arm trying to hit an imaginary alarm clock. I also guess by the looks of the other Spartans I looked rather peculiar.

'Yeah spec ops my ass. Doctor you couldn't have come up with a less believable excuse could you?' I though to myself as I was getting myself ready for the upcoming operation.

"We're decelerating." Kelly's attitude had changed as she gave a simple explanation as to why they woke me. It was time to get serious.

John ordered the lights off and we slowly and cautiously exited the water container. We stopped briefly to don our overalls and stash our gear in out duffle bags, this was all done in silence. I nervously licked my dry lips as we crept through the deserted corridors. I was so tense, the silence only increasing my feelings of dread. Eventually Kelly raised a fist, pointing to a metal door, kinda like a bulkhead on a ship. Although in a way this is a ship.

Fred took a second to unlock the door with a little device of some sort, after it opened we all filed through and closed it behind us. This time a fist was raised to indicate approaching workers. We hunkered in the shadows, everyone else had removed their weapons and were aiming them in case we were discovered. I didn't bother, if things went to hell, I might need my ammo, and if they spotted us, everyone had enough firepower already aimed in that direction.

Luckily they just passed by, one of them whistling a merry little tune that made me want to join him. But that would probably ruin the mission. Kelly attached the tracker and John checked it was working. After a quick exchange, John ordered us to hide our rifles again. He noticed I didn't draw mine.

We then moved silently through the ship until we entered the asteroid. As we were walking I couldn't help but think those crewmen should have entered the lottery today.

The room we stepped into was carved into the rock, it was massive, larger than the gym on the ship where I became a Spartan. I could see many small ships, I didn't recognise any until I saw the pelican at the back, I could only wonder how they got their hands on it.

We worked our way through the crowd and I could see the others were tense, maybe even nervous. I couldn't help but smile at that, here among the crowd I was more at home, they thought of it as being surrounded by potential hostiles, I thought of it as being surrounded by a cloak. I could tell John wanted to seek cover, but this crowd was cover, it could hide us better than the shadows.

This was a beautiful place in its own way, the cranes circling above and the calls of merchants. I felt humbled in the presence of so much life, I lived in a smallish town, I'd never been anywhere so busy.

I followed John slower than the others, I was the last to arrive as I entered the almost empty public showers, I noticed John wasn't happy with me arriving last. I took a seat and we began to discus our plans.

John took a quick look around before he began, "This becomes our fallback point if everything falls apart." He definitely glanced at me as he said that.

"So we have a plan to find him, once we've got him then what? The Laiden?" I was grateful to Sam for keeping the conversation on track. I really didn't want to focus on John being displeased with me.

"No, the Laiden's too slow. Plus how do we get him there unnoticed? His people will come looking for him if he goes missing." Kelly was definitely thinking ahead. I realised we needed a ship off this rock, and it had to be fast and under our control.

"How about the pelican? I think I remember how to fly it." I hoped that would help get me back in Johns good books.

"Yeah that'd work, I also happen to have a key to open the hanger doors." Sam indicated with a kick of his feet to his duffel bag, I didn't have a clue what he meant, but at least he was supporting me and my idea.

John looked pleased again, " Alright we'll take it." He donned his helmet for a second, " Bearing 320, it's on the move and so are we." He slipped his helmet off and into his bag and lead us out of the showers.

We walked through the dock and into the city. It was huge. I was stunned for a second, this was one massive room with a ceiling somewhere up there. There were skyscrapers and factories and many other buildings of all shapes and sizes. John lead us into an alleyway so he could check the location of the tracker. I didn't need him to tell me. It was obvious it was going to be the metal case with armed guards driving it through the crowd.

Even if it wasn't what we were looking for, it was definitely going somewhere important. However John quickly confirmed my suspicions and we followed after it through the crown.

I couldn't help but let out a suppressed laugh at the peoples reactions to the Spartans. They just screamed military as they walked in such a tight formation. I decided to pick up my pace a bit and head over to check the wares of a little market stall. After a minute I politely smiled at the stall owner and moved on in the direction of the other Spartans.

It seems John took my lead and made them all spread out, I was following behind Sam who was at the back of the new and improved formation. From my position I could only watch as Kelly pulled a door guard through the door and out of sight. I could only wonder what she was doing to him. John quickly came up behind the second guard and efficiently snapped his neck and dragged him into the shadows on the other side of the door.

As I walked through the door I couldn't bring myself to look at them, they didn't appear any different. They had just silently, methodically and efficiently murdered two men that were as far as I know innocent in all this. As the others went about securing the room I could only stare at the two lifeless bodies, that once had a history and a future.

Sam came up and playfully punched my shoulder, a bit too hard. But I guess it did it's job, it reassured me and broke me out of my trance. I quickly noticed the door behind us had been closed, and probably locked, and Kelly had just finished unlocking the door forwards.

We all quickly and silently removed the overalls, donned our helmets, and drew our weapons. They opened the next door and it was a reception office. Five more people going about their daily lives before we intervened. I watched in horror as Linda and John dispatched them easily. Five targets, five bullets and five deaths. I wonder what their families will think, I wonder briefly what my friends would think.

My friends wouldn't even want to look at me if they saw what I've become a part of. I'm part of this, I'm partly responsible for their deaths, their murders. I have to focus, clear my mind of these thoughts or I'll get one of my new friends killed.

Maybe if I could just stop thinking of them as human then I could do this, I could keep my focus, I could kill as well. I was broken from my thoughts once again by Sam, this time though it was clear he was more concerned and maybe a tad annoyed at my frequent spacing out.

Sam pointed me at the stairs and he followed behind me as I followed Linda. We all went up the stairs in silence. As we arrive on the ninth floor I notice faint heat signatures on the twelfth floor, I guess the others did too as John lead us to the elevator and pried open the doors. He signalled for us all to activate our own cooling systems as we all climbed up the elevator cable.

I daren't look down, I knew if I sneaked a peek down I wouldn't have been able to move and this mission would have failed. It's not that I fear heights, I just fear the excruciating pain associated with hitting the ground from a large fall. I don't know if I would have died or not, was I even human enough to be capable of dying from a physical assault?

We took our positions by the elevator door, Linda hung upside down above me from the cable, Sam and John hid by the sides of the door and Kelly and Fred at the corners behind me. Linda's hair was tickling my nose as I tried to aim my gun forwards with one hand and hold onto the cable with the other.

John counted down with his hand and as he ran out of fingers, he opened the door and we opened fire on the five guards in front of us. I hit nothing but the wall behind them, I made it look like I was thrown off balance by my precarious position.

After the five guards had hit the ground we exited the elevator and secured the room. Kelly checked the balcony and Fred and Sam took positions by the door. I think John was weighing up the options. I didn't like this situation, I couldn't see into the next room and they couldn't have not heard the gunfire. The guns have silencers but they do make some noise and so does the wall as bullets hit it.

Kelly quietly whispered to us the situation of the alley below the balcony. It apparently lead to an alley and was all clear. We took positions by the door and John kicked the door in, my helmet quickly compensated for the glare of the bright room. I could count four people in the room. Three more guards behind the crate and our target behind them.

This meant we couldn't fire, and I think they knew that. John had to quickly dive to the left to avoid becoming swish cheese. As it is I think he was caught in the side. I didn't have a clear line of sight even if I wanted to hurt them. John poked his head up and shot the middle guard in the forehead and Sam and Fred finished off the other two. I could see the Colonel still had a weapon, I decided I'd do something as I sprint up to him and yank the pistol from his grip as John injects him with some kind of sleepy drug. That was obvious as he promptly fell asleep.

Fred peeled off to cover the elevator and Sam covered the windows, watching for activity below. Kelly was busy working on John, it turns out he was hit. I heard her say he'd be okay, I was glad. I'd had just about enough of death for today.

Sam suddenly spoke up, "We have vehicles incoming." That ruined the peace that had fallen on the room. John was up on his feet in a flash giving orders. Linda shoved the Colonel into the crate and sealed it. While John reached for his duffel bag.

He grabbed a rope and secured it to the balcony before diving off. Kelly attached the rope to the crate and pushed it off and we all followed into the alley twelve stories below us. As we reached the ground we quickly put our overalls back over our suits and stowed our weapons and helmets.

We all casually made our way back to the showers. The trip back was no where near as pleasant as the trip from. I couldn't see the crowd of people, just more potential corpses, should we decide it. Today had done nothing more than elaborate how easy it would be to kill them all.

We made it back to the showers, "Sam, Alexa you go ring the doorbell, meet us at the dropship as soon as you're finished. Remember to check your seals." Sam and I sprinted for the large door that lead to the large emptiness of space. A large door holding back something larger.

We arrived at the door soon enough and Sam placed two large backpacks by the door, the ones filled with rainbows and candy. As he was arming these rainbow bags two guards approached us guns raised. Sam was busy and defenseless, on guard rushed us. He was young, older than me, but I don't think he was even an adult yet.

I couldn't bring myself to kill him, I dropped my gun and decided to grapple him. I doubted the other would fire with him in the way. I was wrong. Shots tore through his body, that look of surprise on his face, I will never forget. I took the side arm from his holster as he fell into my arms and fired back. Bullets tore through his chest and stomach. I just reacted on instinct, as soon as the other man dropped dead I froze. I was staring at the man I just killed with the gun in my hand and a dead man in my arms.

I just killed someone, become a monster, a monster like those we were here to stop.

Sam noticed I wasn't quite myself, instead of trying to snap me out of it he just grabbed my hand, I almost tripped as the fell in front of me. He lead me back to the pelican as he detonated the packs. The decompression sucked many out into the harsh cold vacuum of space. If not for Sam holding my hand I might have been taken too.

We quickly walk up the ramp onto the pelican and Sam sat me down by the crate next to Linda as he sat on the other side of me as he strapped me in. Kelly and John were in the sealed cockpit. Fred was securing the parcel as the door closed and the ship rose up and headed for the new exit made into the asteroid.

I still held the pistol in my left hand. The pistol I used to kill someone, this pistol was the tool I used to become something less than human to kill something less than human. I remained dazed for the rest of the flight.

Hello again, this chapter is my second largest chapter so far, it's my way of saying sorry for the long delay. I feel this chapter went okay, it was necessary to be longer so as to cover the whole event. I didn't want to be mean and leave it half way through, besides it's not a cliff hanger situation. But making it longer means it might not be as good as it could have been as it got strenuous trying to finish it properly. Plus as I was mostly keeping to the story line, it kinda meant I couldn't be more creative. But I plan to deviate from the main story line a little more in future. :)

On to my excuse, I decided to take a break over christmas. That break kinda went on longer than I intended. And recently a I've been even busier, and more confusing. But I've managed to get this chapter done and everything is looking up, so the next chapter shouldn't be too far off. Thank you everyone for putting up with my erratic update routine.

Reviews:

TMGermany and : Sorry to keep you waiting, I hope this chapter was worth the wait. Plus thanks you all for your support.

1800hellmo: Yeah, these types of stories are rare, I've come across a few of them. But not many. I'm glad you like my story. I also like stories like this and that's why I decide to make one, just because there are so few.

TheWizardOfOzbourne: Yeah, the last chapter was a bit off, hopefully the edited version was better. I hope you think this chapter is better. Thanks for your reviews.

And thanks to everyone that Favorites and Alerts this story. And a thanks to all that read this story.

Remember to review. Reviews = Love = Updates :)

TTFN