Hey everyone, this chapter was faster to write and easier. I hope it came out okay. This chapter is about personal development, but i'll let you all read it. Hope you enjoy this chapter. :)

Disclaimer: I don't own Halo, if i did Miranda Keyes wouldn't have died. But 7 would still be a lucky number.

Chapter 7: Belonging

A day had passed since I killed someone, I knew the deed was justified and others would claim I did nothing but what was expected but I decided to hide in an unoccupied barracks in another part of the ship anyway. Hopefully the rightful owner wouldn't be upset to find goldilocks trying to sleep in their bed.

I knew Anders was looking for me, and the doctor was probably worried too, and who knows who else I had concerned about me. I just needed some time to sort out my thoughts, I knew what I did wasn't wrong, and I knew I didn't feel sorry for him as such, it's just I was concerned with what I was becoming. I found the kill was easy and the adrenaline rush was pleasant.

I hadn't dropped the pistol since the incident, a reminder of the deed I had committed. A wake up call. Up until now this might have been a summer camp or some military school or something like that. Learn a few things, get some exorcise, play a few games and have a laugh with some new people. But now, now I've killed someone.

All my life I've lived in a world where killing was considered very wrong and now I'm here, wherever here is, and killing is to become an everyday thing. I had already decided that the man had deserved to die, he was a monster, my fear was, would it make me a monster to kill the monster. Plus the fact that I somewhat enjoyed it, did that make me a monster. At this point in time I was unsure if I could ever go on a mission again.

I was just scared of what others would think of me for becoming such a demon. If the others found out I enjoyed it, would they think I was a monster or would they accept me, if they didn't where would I go, what would I do. My mind was a mess, which is probably why I didn't hear Anders walk up behind me and push me off the bed.

"Took me awhile to find you, what're you doing in someone's bed?" I was in a heap on the floor with the blanket and pillow, trying to find my way up. I could tell just from her voice that she was in a good mood.

"Trying to get some undisrupted sleep, why are you looking for me in someone else's bed?" I had figured out which way was up and was trying to remake the persons bed.

"Well, I heard about how you were after your last mission. Did something happen? You can tell me anything you know, I'm here if you need me." I could tell from the look she was giving me she knew what happened last mission.

"You already know what happened, I killed someone." I decided there was no need to try to hide it, ether I tell her or she looks it up from our recount of the mission, knowing her she already has. She's smart, cunning and for some reason knows me to well.

"You're right, I already know, Sam told me you saved him and that the man left you little choice but to kill him." I wondered what her goal was here, and how she planned to achieve it. I checked to see if the weapon of my turmoil was still in my pocket before walking off to find the cafeteria.

I realised Anders was following me, I guess that's why she's such a good friend. "So what if I had little choice, I still did it." I walked down the corridors of the ship, following the yellow triangles pointing the way to my intended destination.

"Look I know it isn't easy to kill and you probably don't feel comfortable doing so, but with time you'll be able to with ease. You're doing the right thing." That made me stop, she didn't understand at all. Would she still be my friend if she did?

I turned to face her, she was staring at me intently. "Look, I need to figure this out by myself. You don't have a clue what's going on so I don't think you can help me." With that I turned and practically ran towards the cafeteria. There was no way Anders could have kept up.

I guess when I got there I was hoping to see Edward or Lucy or one of the many other familiar ODST's I met before. Then I could relax and return to my usual self and have some fun.

Almost as expected I couldn't spot them, they were probably on another ship far away in another part of space. But I guess that's where they had to be, and here's where I have to be. So I just decided to get some food and have a quiet meal in peace.

The cafeteria was packed as usual, it was probably one of the busiest parts of the ship, as everyone had different shifts and needed a meal, they were open almost 24/7.

However the area that I guessed was practically reserved for ODST was free, I figured they wouldn't mind if I sat there.

Some of the food on my plate was questionable, I guess like school meals, the worse it tasted the more nutritious. Next time I'll stick with identifiable foods, such as the apples. I was only half way through my slop when three people sat down with their meals, each looking at me strangely. As much as I didn't like it, they had boxed me in and I'd have to make a fuss to get out.

The one opposite to me spoke first, "This is Kate," indicating to his left, "Roger," indicating to the right of me, " and I'm Bill. Just wondering if you'd tell us any stories, being a helljumper and all." That caught me by surprise, everything was rather ominous and then they just asked for stories. I almost threw my head back and laughed. Almost.

I was frozen, trying to decide if I should tell them one of my few stories that probably wouldn't interest them, or if I should continue with my meal, or if I should tell them I've not been on any missions. I mean I had stories about my training and such, but I knew they were interested in missions. Daring feats of courage under the live fire of hostile targets.

I guess I paused too long as Kate looked like she was about to go, "Sorry we bothered you, I told them not to come over and disturb you." She was very soft spoken, I wondered how she got in the military in the first place. As she was about to lead them away, I guess I didn't really want to be alone again for awhile.

"Why don't you stay, tell me one of your stories? Mine are boring, I know as I was there." I gave a rather wicked smile that kinda shocked them into sitting. I don't even know where it came from, I saw it in the reflection of the glass as they sat down and I didn't blame them. It was kinda creepy, a left sided smirk with teeth that came up below the ODST mark almost promising trouble. It rather shocked me too. Especially coming from someone as young as me.

Clearly Bill wasn't expecting to be asked to tell a story, we sat in relative silence eating our food as he tried to pick one. The only noise was from the forks or from Bill clearly thinking hard.

Finally Bill had picked one, "Right well about a year ago we were deployed to this innie compound, they were making a new formula of bombs right. Something sneaky they were working on so we wouldn't be able to detect them. We breached and were pinned in a firefight shortly after. The CO had the brilliant idea of using their own bombs against them, so he pointed at roger here and called him Fred and told him to run half way across the room to retrieve the remote, this moron tried to correct him, saying 'Roger Sir'. Of course that meant he had to run across the room under enemy fire, I thought he was a goner for sure. But he somehow made it, on his way back he gets shot, in the arse." The table practically erupted into laughter at that, although Roger didn't seem happy. At least he was taking it well enough to let Bill tell the story.

"Then after he makes it back, it turns out the CO was actually talking to the man behind him, and when he got the purple heart later, the CO gave it to him thought he was called Fred. It was so funny, for a while the commanding officers all thought that he was called Fred too, plus he couldn't sit for about a month." I had to look out into space, away from the laughing faces that would have cause me to continue laughing exponentially.

Suddenly a voice broke through the laughter. "Hey what the hell are you doing in our spot?" I didn't turn my head from the window but I could make out the shapes of at least four people in the reflection.

I heard Roger speak up; I guess he was gesturing to me. "She said we could sit here, we were just swapping stories, we can leave if you want." He was clearly nervous, I figured the ODST's had come and weren't expecting someone to be sitting in their spot with a view.

I could genuinely understand why these seats were held in such high esteem, they had a great view of space. "Yeah, and how can a little child give you permission to sit here?"

That did it, I'm not little and I'm not a child and nobody got away with calling me that. "I'm not a child and if you know what's good for you, I'm not little either!" I turned and glared at the man, fully prepared to leap over the table and beat him to death with his own skull if he called me either of those again.

I like to think he was shocked when he saw my angry glare, although I think it was more the ODST mark on my left cheek that had him speechless. He had walked up here when I had my left cheek pressed up against the glass and never expected me to have been accepted by the helljumpers by my appearance.

"But how, you're just a ki…." I think he was about to claim I was a child again, but wisely one of his friends placed a hand over his mouth and the other two just dragged him off. Just pleasantly smiling at me. The three marines were clearly as impressed as I was with the outcome.

Four ODST's turned tail and ran without me lifting a finger. Maybe I was a monster. It was that single thought that ruined everything, it singlehandedly ruined my mood, reminding me why I had run here in the first place. I politely asked Roger to let me pass and I quietly left the hall.

I spent at least half an hour just aimlessly walking the metal corridors trying not to get in the way of anyone passing through. Until I noticed the doctor walking towards me, if Anders couldn't help, then there was no way the doctor could, as far as I was concerned. It was too late to just slip away, she had noticed me, I was her objective in this hallway, and she knew I had noticed her. So that left only one solution. Run.

I turned and ran back down the corridors, turning left and right in confusing patterns. Doctor Halsey was one person I couldn't see right now. She was smart, and she would be in my head before I knew it, plus she had given me all this, she had protected me after I arrived here. I didn't want to seem ungrateful and I didn't want to blame her or have her in my head. I needed her out of the picture right now. Plus what would she think if she knew how I felt killing that person, she would probably stop protecting me if I told her that. I wondered briefly if she'd let me change to one of the other options or not.

Who would want to protect me if they knew the truth? I walked into another room, it was the armoury, before I could turn and leave, a figure called out from the corner of the room.

"Hey, Alexa, give us a hand here?" I could tell by the voice who it was, and there'd be no point running. They'd probably be able to catch me, if it went to endurance at least.

The room wasn't particularly big and didn't hold anything particularly special either; I guess it wasn't the main armoury. More like a local supply station should the ship be boarded or all if the local marines needed to suit up quickly. I slowly walked across the room to the other side where Sam was struggling with some crates I presumed had weapons or ammo or both in.

It appeared he had tried to pick up too many and they weren't balanced properly and were starting to fall. I quickly relieved him of the top crate and followed his orders on where he wanted it stacked.

As soon as that was done I realised I could have legged it as he was struggling.

"Look, I know you've had some difficulty since our last mission, I can only guess at what the problem is, but you can tell me." I could tell from his face he was just being a serious all round good guy looking to support his friend. But would he still be so supportive if he knew.

I guess the stress of it all just caught up with me, and he genuinely looked supportive. I sat on the crate and spilled everything. I had little choice, I felt compelled to tell him everything that had brought me to this point, about my past life and my trip here and the options and the last mission. I told him how I enjoyed the kill, and how I feared what it'd do to me, about how I didn't feel I could connect with Anders or the doctor anymore.

Sam just stood, leant against a crate, in the empty armoury, as he listened to everything as it spilled out. I could tell he was unsure about some of it, and I have to admit if someone else was telling me a story like mine, I'd doubt the truth of it all a bit.

After I was done spilling every last one of my damning secrets I could only shrink into myself wondering me fate. Would he betray me to the higher ups? Would he frown on my lack of training? Be disgusted with my thoughts on the act of my first kill?

By the time the silence was too much to bare and I glimpsed up at his face, I realised he was just grinning at me. "That's quite the tale, it explains a few things though. Like how you were so hesitant to fight and I guess it also explains why you've been avoiding us since our last mission."

I could only nod, I don't know why but I felt weak, I was meek and quiet, nervous of his response to it all. "Please don't tell anyone, if you don't want me around anymore I can leave, but please don't tell anyone." If this got out I'm sure I'd either be locked away or killed. Halsey might have let me go but I don't know if anyone else would be so generous.

He just smiled some more, if that was possible. "Don't worry you can trust me, it's true that killing can have that effect and no matter how you feel about killing, good or bad, you have a place with us. I wouldn't have guessed you were such a rookie after the last mission but you belong with us." He placed a sizeable hand on my shoulder.

"For a moment I thought you were Kurt. When did you become so sociable?" I couldn't help but tease the tough Spartan. As much as I hated to admit it but he towered in front of me, but he wasn't intimidating in fact it was comforting like a giant teddy bear.

He just chuckled, "Yeah, lets keep this to ourselves shall we?" I could tell he was embarrassed by it all, uncomfortable with the unfamiliar social interaction.

"Just like a giant teddy bear." I couldn't help but give him a new nickname, I doubt it was fully appreciated. "What do you think of your new name?" I had really cheered up in the last few seconds, I guess I was delirious with the recent adrenaline rush.

He turned to leave, I guess he realised the futility of arguing with me while I was in this state of mind. "Yeah yeah, whatever you like, just not around the others okay. Now if you'll return to the barracks with me I have something to return to you." He started walking to the door and waited for me to follow.

I decided in my time with him that it didn't matter what killing made me, as long as I killed the right people. And it didn't seem like any of the Spartans at least were going to judge me for it at least. So after hopping off the crate I was seated on I reached into my pocket for the pistol that I had held onto from the mission and placed it among to others in the armoury. Hopefully someone could put it to good use.

"Are you coming or what, you lost do you need me to hold your hand?" I could tell he was making a comment to tease me about my height. Somebody had already implied I was a child today, Sam's lucky he wasn't outright in his comment and I was still giddy with relief from my recent nervousness.

I ran up to him with a devious smile, "Why? Is Teddy offering?" I could tell he was blushing as he turned away. He didn't get the reaction I guess he was expecting. We mostly walked to the barracks in silence, he refused to look in my direction, I guess I annoyed him a bit much.

As we reached the barracks he dashed over to his bunk and retrieved something. When he held it out to me I realised it was the sword the doctor had given me. I left it behind on the last mission and since my return I forgot about it.

"I realised you were a bit busy since the return from the asteroid so I retrieved it for you. It's a nice weapon, it'll definitely leave a striking impression to carry into battle. Wouldn't even have to draw it?" I was happy he was looking out for me. I guess I belonged here among the other Spartans. They were looking out for me and I was going to look out for them too.

Wasn't long after I stowed my sword in my footlocker until Kelly, Linda, Fred and John walked over to us. Linda was the first to speak, "Hey, where were you? We were worried something went wrong and you were injured or something." I didn't really know how to answer and with all the other Spartans easily close enough to hear in this tightly packed barracks, I was anxious about giving an answer and them seeing right through it.

"It's nothing to worry about, she just had some first kill concerns and feared she held the team back, that's all." I owed Sam big for covering for me. I swear, he may have been the strongest Spartan, but he was also one of the most reliable and in this case, caring too. Just a giant teddy.

John just nodded while the others just gave words of understanding and encouragement, all along the lines of doing well for the first mission. John just looked me in the eyes, "Look I'm going for a check up at the infirmary, and I'd recommend you do the same." I guess he was prompting me to walk with him.

I was right as we walked alone down the halls, I just followed him to the infirmary. "You did good for your first op, we were all nervous. But you did what you had to when it counted, hopefully you'll have more confidence next time. I feared testing you on that last mission might cause friction within the team. Kelly told me what happened while I was asleep, it's clear you're open to team work. You're a part of Blue Team now." If I didn't know any better I'd say he timed that speech perfectly to coincide with entering the infirmary as he finished speaking.

Inside was a variety of medical personnel and patients, I was just glad there didn't appear to be any drastic injuries. I followed John to the back, where the doctor and Anders appeared to have been waiting. I guess the doctor knew John would be here and Anders was hanging around after I left her in the corridor.

I couldn't help but shy away from Anders, and I guess the doctor wasn't too happy with my earlier behaviour either. I just patiently waited for my turn, they were both focused on John's injury. It was mostly just a check up, but I still hoped everything would be okay, looking back I could have used the smoke grenades and covered the team with them. I promised myself I wouldn't make such an oversight again.

"Alright you'll be okay, just no heavy lifting." The doctor was making that scary face again, I guess John was rather stubborn when it came to pushing himself. He stood up from the bed and moved to the door, I guess he was leaving me here, maybe we weren't yet as chummy as I hoped we were, or he knew we had to talk.

Doctor didn't bring up the earlier experience, she was entirely professional about the check up and to be honest that slightly stung. In my time here I had begun to look up to her, I wanted to make her proud and not regret her decision to add me to her experiment. But I guess I disappointed her.

"The injury's healing nicely. Might leave a scar but it'll be gone in a week." I couldn't face her. I couldn't face the fact that I let her down, I shouldn't have run earlier, from either of them. "Now that unpleasant business is finished with, how're you feeling? I came looking for you earlier but I guess you needed your space. You can tell us anything though."

I was over come with joy at the realisation that they weren't mad at me. "I'm sorry about earlier, Sam helped me to solve my issues. Everything's better now." I was smiling happily at the two.

"Sam, I thought you would have found the marines you were talking to earlier better company." I should have known she wouldn't have given up so easily, she's a scientist and my friend, she'd want answers and to see the problem resolved.

"Well while you're here we'd like to perform a quick surgery, you'll be fine for your next mission, won't last too long." The doctor quickly grounding all banter. She was nice to be about but when it came to serious work she knew how to play the stern parent, killing the mood.

Well I weighed up the options but what choice was I left with, I could hardly argue with them if they wanted to do this. If they thought it was for the best then I'd sign up. "Sure, where you want me?" I didn't even care what it was, the two scientist would probable explain in terms I couldn't follow or understand. I'd ask one of them later.

I followed Anders to the back of the infirmary to a surgical room that had already been prepped for me, I guess they knew I was coming and knew I would say yes. They were a good team, I wonder if there was nothing they couldn't predict and solve together.

Anders placed a hand on my head, she could tell the prospect of surgery scared me. "Don't worry, everything will be okay, we need you to lie face down on the table and then breath deeply from the mask." I followed her instructions to the letter, the hand on head moved to my hand and I couldn't help but think it was kinda sad I had to fall all the way here to have such supportive people in my life. I would have chuckled at that thought if I didn't succumb to sleep.

I hope this chapter was okay, I wanted to develop my character a bit more and create better relationships between the characters. I fear some of it might have been a bit sappy for some but i think it came out okay. It took awhile to select the right words through it. I'd also like the point out that those marines may or may not become main characters but they will not replace Lucy or Edward. But all that aside i hope you enjoyed this latest chapter.

Also I want to say that this chapter was relatively quick but I have my exams coming up in a few months and that may slow my rate of updates.

I'm thinking about perhaps doing a side story soon, one about what would have happened if she never became a Spartan. Ever since Chapter Two I've been slightly curious as to what would have happened to Alexa if she was stuck in the Halo Universe and didn't become a Spartan. I'll add a poll on my profile soon.

Reviews:

TMGermany: Hope this chapter was worth your anticipation.

DreadNaugt: As far as I'm aware there aren't currently any other Halo stories like this. Although if I'm wrong I'd love to read them. So please tell me the name of any if you see them. :) But yeah Alexa is kinda confused about where she is, although she hasn't given it much thought, she accepts that it might as well be the future.

No Name: I'm glad you liked it. With the detail though, I don't want to make it too detailed as otherwise I might release my inner nerd and go into great depth on each piece of gear they use. Plus I prefer to let you use your imagination to fill in exact details of the world.

1800hellmo: Glad you liked last chapter, hope this one's better as it doesn't follow the book so closely. Don't worry changes will be made soon to the storyline.

Lemanruss669: I'm happy you found the last chapter good, yeah it was about the reaction of a normal person in that position. I never actually thought of the larger moral picture. Thanks for pointing that out. :)

And again thanks to everyone that reads this far into my story. I hope you all enjoyed it so far. And extra thanks to all those that favorite and follow. :)

Remember as always:

Review = Love = Updates :)

TTFN