Daryl flicked mindlessly through the book resting on his knees. Every few seconds, he would look up and scan the perimeter of the camp. All he could hear was the soft snoring of some; the muffled sobbing of Maggie. The air was thick with grief and Daryl wasn't sure if he could handle it when the grief would eventually lifts for most. He glared down at the book, hardly interested in reading it anymore. When he had picked it up at the Woman's Shelter, Beth was still alive and there were still good people in the world. Now there seemed hardly any point. With a huff, he hurled the book away from the camp.
After a few hours, Rick appeared next to him.
"Get some sleep. I'll take over watch." Rick nudged him. Daryl shook his head.
"I'm alright." He busied himself with watching the trees. Rick sighed loudly.
"Daryl. This isn't healthy. You need to sleep – " Rick noticed the bowl, still filled with snake and beans, " – you need to eat." He crouched down in front of Daryl.
"Beth wouldn't want this." Daryl narrowed his eyes at Rick, his top lip twitching.
"Doesn't really matter what she wants now." He spat out, standing up quickly. Rick watched him stalk off into the trees and shook his head. He went back to the camp and asked Michonne to trail him, just to make sure nothing bad happens to him but to stay out of sight. Michonne agreed and disappeared into the trees.
"Dad?" Carl said softly, rubbing sleep from his eyes. "What is the plan? I don't think Maggie will last much longer, she hasn't eaten much and Daryl keeps running off."
Rick sighed again, looking down at his hands.
"I don't know. We need to get somewhere safe, somewhere for Maggie and Daryl to deal with the grief."
"I know we don't have Beth's body but I think we should do a burial anyway. I think Maggie has her journal, we could bury that." Carl chewed his bottom lip for a moment. "It might help." Rick smiled at his son, putting an arm around his shoulders.
"I think that's a good idea. We'll make her a new cross."
"It has to be somewhere pretty." Carl insisted. Rick nodded and gave a sad laugh. They sat in silence for a while, Carl half asleep on Rick's shoulder.
"Dad?" He whispered, withdrawing from Rick to look at him. "Everyone is so sad." It was obvious that Carl didn't know how to make everyone better and it was bothering him.
"Even Judith is a little moody." Rick shook his head, defeated.
"I don't know." Carl leaned his head against the tree, unhappy with the lack of answers and possible action.
Michonne walked deliberately, making sure not to make much noise. She didn't fancy getting caught by Daryl. He seemed to go off at nothing since Beth passed. The day that they had to abandon the fire truck, the group had watched him completely go off at Maggie and then turn on the rest. He had yelled about how none of them had cared when Beth was gone and that Maggie was a failure as a sister. It was pretty much the only time Maggie really spoke up; she had stood up and shouted at Daryl that she knew she had messed up and she was paying the highest price for it. She had shouted at him until she was crying hysterically and then she just started screaming. Just screaming and screaming, bent at the waist. Glenn had collected her up and quietened her. The group was broken.
Michonne stopped and slipped behind a tree. Daryl had dropped to his knees. A sob broke out from him and Michonne watched as he pulled his gun from its holster. He seemed to be examining the gun, with interest. He turned it in his hands and placed it against his temple. Michonne made to move forward, but he lowered the gun. She took a tentative step back into hiding when he put the gun in his mouth.
"No!" Michonne rushed forward, shoving him. "What're you doing?" She demanded, kicking the gun away from him. Daryl stared down at his knees, sobbing softly.
"Let me alone." He muttered. Michonne knelt in front of him.
"It wouldn't fix it anything." She spoke. "I wanted to, as well, when my son died. I wanted to for a long time but it doesn't change anything. It just passes the pain to somebody else."
Daryl looked at her.
"You had a kid?" She nodded, and he shook his head.
"This ain't right. The good should survive but they don't. It's fucked up." Daryl let out a puff of breath.
"Rick tell you to follow me?" She nodded again and he rolled his eyes.
"I probably wasn't gonna." He gestured towards the gun. "I just don't know what to do."
"You are allowed to grieve, just don't… Do that." Michonne said, nodding towards the gun. "Carl needs you, Judith needs you, Carol needs you; everyone needs you."
"I'm coming back soon. I just wanna be alone." He kept staring at the ground until he heard Michonne retreat. She had taken his gun, assuming that he probably couldn't really kill himself with his crossbow. Daryl glanced around, making sure that he was alone before breaking down into tears.
It was daylight – a new day, a proposed new start – but Maggie stayed on the ground, staring at the dirt. She could see little worms wriggling. She had been offered food and water many times since the sun broke but she had rejected all except the one sip of water. She hated how weak she was being but she didn't have any strength in her. She felt empty and lost and destroyed.
"We should have burial ceremony for Beth." Somebody said above Maggie. She sat up at her sister's name. It was Rick who was speaking.
"Beth deserves it. We'll find somewhere nice, somewhere Beth would've liked." The rest of the group were making noises of agreement.
"Beth likes big trees." Maggie spoke, her voice raspy from the lack of use.
So the group spent the next week looking for a big tree and making Beth another cross. The action seemed to pull Maggie out of the darkness a little. She was hell-bent on finding a perfect place for Beth.
AN: The next chapter will be Beth-centric and probably up in a few hours. Thank you for those who have reviewed (: