Chapter 33

Warning: This chapter contains sexual content between two hot, sweaty, unmarried adults, so if you don't like the idea of two people who love each other very much but aren't yet bound by a piece of paper making hot, sweet, sweaty love, then don't read any further.

December 1870 – Colorado Springs

His reflection stared back at him with the cold, hard gaze of a desperate man. The tears had dried up long ago, and he wasn't sure he had the ability to cry anymore. He wasn't even certain if he had any blood left in his veins. If he cut himself, would he bleed whiskey?

He looked down at the picture in his hands. Her picture. Her eyes. Her hair. Her mouth. Her body. Her laugh. Her tears. Her words. Her whispers. He remembered it all. He remembered so much of her.

He put the picture down in front of him and picked up his razor. He began to slide and scrape it across the black belt in his hands, sharpening it and readying it for his next customer. The half-drunk bottle of whiskey rested between his legs, a comfort to him in this lonely hour.

"Abby…my Abby." He sucked in a sharp breath and closed his eyes. He listened to the scraping of the razor and it was soothing to his nerves. His hands shook feverously, but he kept his jaw firm. But, before the whiskey took hold of him again, and he passed out into a drunken sleep, four words escaped from his lips. "I did it for you."

December 1870 – St. Louis

"Daniel?" Carrie asked, as the door to her new room opened. "Is that you?"

"Shh," he whispered softly, striding across the room as quickly as he could.

"What are ya doin' here?"

"I'm gonna get ya outta here." Carrie's eyes twinkled at the gesture. "Ya scared me when ya collapsed. Ya okay?"

"I'm feelin' better. And, thanks for the gesture, but ya don't gotta do this. You should get goin' on to Nevada."

"I ain't gonna leave ya here," he answered, moving toward the window. "They got you up here for no good reason. I know ya better than they do."

"Ya sure about that?" Carrie asked with a sly grin. She shook her head. "Daniel Simon. I didn't think ya had a hospital break in ya."

"C'mon. If we go now, we can get past…"

"Why are ya doin' this?" Carrie demanded, getting out of bed and wrapping a robe around her body. She waited for Daniel to turn and look her in the eye. When he didn't, she reached out and touched his arm. "Daniel?" The moon passed behind a cloud and flooded the room with darkness. He turned, and she could feel his eyes staring into hers through the darkness. "Why?"

"Do I need a reason to help out a friend?" he wondered, feeling her coming closer. He could hear her bare feet slap against the cold marble.

"Friend?" she asked, her fingers reaching out to him, grazing across his stubbled chin. As the clouds parted, moonlight crept back into the room, and as it caressed their faces, they pulled one another into a sweet embrace. His chin rested on top of her head, as she gripped his shoulders and rested her head on his chest. She inhaled the scent of him and reveled in the feel of arms around her. His arms. She needed to be held like this, but it wasn't enough. "Daniel…" A moment later, she tilted her head up, he looked down, and their lips met for the first time in a tender kiss.

Carrie pulled away moments later, overwhelmed by his presence…his touch…his kiss. Why now? Why like this? Could she really love him like this? Could he love her? She took his hand and led him to the door.

"You're coming with me?" She shook her head sadly.

"No. You're going alone. You've been gone for too long. It's time for you to go home."

December 1870 – Cheyenne Reservation

Just before sunrise, Michaela opened her eyes and became aware that her body was naked, covered in layers of blankets, and curled up against his. She could feel Sully's warm hand on her thigh, and her skin tingled from the thought of the night before.

She smiled a little and adjusted herself to look at him. He was lying on his side, and his hair had fallen into his eyes. He looked so peaceful, and she didn't want to wake him. But, when she shifted again, her body pressed against his, and he stirred under the blankets. She let out a soft breath and waited for him to either wake or fall into a deeper sleep.

"Sully," she whispered, slowly taking his hand in hers and removing it from her thigh. She was tired and sore, but she felt calmer than she had ever felt before. She felt satisfied and loved and full of life.

She slowly sat up, letting her protective blankets fall into her lap. She blushed in the haze of the morning, and she leaned over Sully to check his bandages. But, just as she was checking them, she felt his lips on her collarbone and his hands on her bare back. She sighed softly and collapsed against him, unsure of how to resist his powerful kisses.

She felt his tongue dart out and taste the flesh of her shoulder, and she shivered, pulling the blanket tighter around them both. She closed her eyes and ran her fingers down his sides and to his hips. When she heard him moan, she smiled, and she let him pull her leg over his hip to straddle him.

His hands moved down her back, and he secured his arms around her waist. She grinned coyly down at him, as he smiled up at her, watching her squirm in the hold of his embrace. Her hair fell down her body, cascading down her curves and tickling the flesh of his chest.

"Mornin'," he said quietly, a slightly strained wheeze in his voice.

"Good morning," she whispered, leaning down and bringing her lips a breath apart from his. He finished the kiss with a gentle peck upon the lips that quickly led to a smoldering, passionate expression of their love. She felt his tongue begging for entrance, and she held back, teasing him just a little bit. But, she soon gave in, and she felt his tongue dance against hers, sending chills up and down her spine.

Moaning softly, she felt the heat beginning to rise between them, and in the dusky haze of the teepee, the sounds of their desire began to fill the air.

His mouth found her aroused nipples, and she bit her bottom lip, letting him suckle and nip at her for a moment. She could feel him against her thigh already, and her fingers gripped his shoulders. She let out a heavy breath, panting from the intense heat that was rushing through her body.

"Michaela," he breathed, as his lips traveled up her body and to her lips again. They were consumed with one another, kissing hungrily, touching desperately. It was as if they were holding on for their lives, unwilling to let go of each other. Their hands joined, and Michaela's body lowered onto him, taking him fully and slowly. She moaned her discomfort into his mouth, and he held her close, comforting her as she adjusted.

"I love you," she whispered, as she muffled her cries in kisses, letting the pain be overtaken by pleasure, as his fingers found her sensitive flesh, circling it and drawing out spasms of sheer delight.

Sully felt her clench around him, and his hands moved back up her body, cupping her soft breasts. She moaned quietly and arched her back, as she moved against him, taking him all the way to the hilt, feeling empowered by the sheer fact that her name was rolling off of his lips.

"Michaela," he gasped, as her knees tightened around his hips, and she threw her head back, letting out an agonizing, pleasure-filled moan that spurred him on. His hands fit around her waist, feeling her stomach muscles clenching too, and he thrust inside of her, helping her finally reach her peak. A moment later, as Michaela shattered against him, burying her cries in his chest, he spilled himself inside of her and whispered her name in her ear, holding onto her as long as he could before their heartbeats began to decelerate, and their bodies grew hot and in need of separation.

She slowly removed herself from her place atop him and rolled onto her backside, taking a deep breath, as the early morning sun began to seep through the fabric of the teepee. Taking a few steadying breaths, Michaela placed her hand over her eyes, feeling a headache approaching. Sully gently reached for her other hand and brought it to his lips before depositing it against his heart. She felt his heart racing, and she rolled onto her side to look into his eyes.

"You okay?" he asked gently, touching her cheek. She merely nodded.

"Are you?" she wondered. "How are you feeling?"

"Just fine," he said with a grin. She chuckled and shook her head.

"Your stitches seem to be holding up well."

"Had a good doctor," he pointed out. "She took real good care of me." Michaela sighed softly to herself and sat up, pulling her arms around her knees and stretching her back, resting her head against her arms. Sully smiled, and he gently ran his fingers up her spine, and she shivered under his touch.

Goosebumps arose on her skin, and she let him hook his arm around her waist and pull her to him. She gently rested against him; her breasts against his chest and her legs entangled with his. Their hands intertwined, and Sully gently kissed the top of her head. She looked up to search his eyes, and their lips met again in a tender kiss.

"Sully?"

"Hmm?" He looked into her worried eyes, and he brushed the pad of his thumb across her lips.

"I…I almost wish…"

"What?" She swallowed hard and looked down, but he brought her eyes back to his with a simple kiss. "Ya can tell me anything." She nodded.

"I know that. I just…I don't want you to think…think that I have regrets." Sully furrowed his brows. Michaela gently traced her finger down his sternum and looked into his eyes. "I almost wish we'd have waited." Sully started to shift, but she stopped him. "What I mean is that…I know what it's like to be with you now…completely with you." She flushed. "I feel like I spoiled myself for our wedding night." Sully smiled a little, placing his hand against her blushing cheek.

"Things only get better, Michaela. We love each other. That's what matters. Our weddin' night is gonna be special. I promise you that."

"I know." She nodded. "I wouldn't take back last night, Sully. I hope you don't think…" She stumbled for her words, but Sully hushed her with a kiss.

"I know what ya mean. It's like…when you're little and ya really want one of the Christmas presents under the tree. But, ya ask for it for so long that your ma and pa finally give in and let ya open it early. It's somethin' ya wanted so bad, but when ya think about it, ya almost wish ya waited, 'cause it's somethin' real special…" Michaela nodded.

"Something like that, yes." She stretched and yawned and rested her chin in the center of his chest. She wished she could lay in his arms all day, but it was only a matter of time before Johnny came bursting in. They couldn't let him find them like this. Explaining themselves was the last thing either of them had on their minds.

Sully gently cradled Michaela, until his back started to hurt, and he winced in pain. She moved away quickly, and he reached for her, missing the feeling of her in his arms.

"Roll over," she said gently, pulling on her blouse and quickly doing up the buttons. He eyed her. "I need to change your bandages." She smiled a little at him, and she helped him roll onto his stomach. He groaned, and she gently placed a kiss to his shoulder blade. He reached for her again, but she quickly moved away, slipping into her skirt, feeling desperately in need of a hot bath.

She found her medical bag under piles of blankets, and she gently began to peel away the bandage on his back that was slightly damp with sweat. She wiped her brow and poured something over his wound. He hissed in pain, but soon relaxed with the cool feeling of her blowing air upon the stitches.

"Better?"

"Mmm," he moaned quietly, relaxing on his stomach. Michaela smiled a little.

"Just lie still. I want to let your stitches get air for a little while. In a few minutes, I'll put a fresh bandage on you, and hopefully that'll hold until we get you back to town."

"Think that'll be today?"

"I hope so," Michaela breathed. She lay back down beside him, covering his lower half with a blanket. "Being out here with you…it's almost magical. I'll be sad to see that end." She frowned and placed her medical bag behind her.

"It don't have to end," Sully pointed out. "We got the rest of our lives." He took her hand in his and propped himself up on his elbow. "The Spirits would say we are one."

"We are?" she asked with a smile. Her heart thumped wildly, as he brought her hand to his lips again.

"Soon as we get out of here, I'm gonna use the money Loren left us to build us a house…a big one to raise a family in." Michaela smiled happily. "We'll figure out where to get your clinic set up, and…" Michaela chuckled at Sully's eagerness, and she gently placed her hand on his back.

"We'll have time to talk about this after you're feeling better."

"I never felt better in my life," Sully said quietly. In all honesty, he'd never been this happy before. Michaela was the only woman he'd ever been with since Abagail. "I think the fact that…we've been friends for ten years…I think that really makes a difference." Michaela nodded. "It's not wrong."

"No," she said quietly. "It's not." She took a deep breath, and she was about to speak again, but the sound of Johnny's voice startled them both. Michaela quickly pulled on her stockings and shoes and straightened out her skirt. Her hair was a mess, but there wasn't much she could do about that. Johnny came hurrying into the teepee.

"Mornin'!" he said cheerfully.

"Good morning, Johnny," Michaela said with a smile.

"The storm stopped, and the snow's startin' to melt," Johnny said with a proud grin. He glanced at his father. "You feelin' ok, Pa?"

"I'm fine, Johnny," Sully said with a smile. "You sleep ok?"

"Yep! Cloud Dancin' says he feels another storm comin' on." Michaela glanced nervously at Sully.

"Sully? Are you feeling up to traveling?" He was obviously able to keep his strength up. He'd prove than to her. But, she was afraid of what traveling back into town might do to him.

"I can do it," Sully promised her. "We'll have to take it slow, but we'll get there." Michaela nodded and looked at Johnny.

"Dr. Mike?"

"Hmm?"

"Did you sleep ok? Ya look like ya didn't get much sleep," Johnny pointed out. Michaela flushed furiously and looked at Sully. Sully cleared his throat.

"Johnny, she's bein' a good doctor and takin' care of me. She didn't get much sleep…'cause she was tendin' to my wounds." Johnny eyed his father but seemed to buy the answer. Michaela frowned, and she cleared her throat.

"Johnny, why don't you go tell Cloud Dancing that we're going to try to get back to town today?" Johnny nodded.

"I will." He hurried out of the teepee again, and Michaela sighed heavily.

"Sully!"

"Here. Help me with these." Sully pointed toward the pile of clothes nearby, and Michaela fetched his buckskins. "You're gonna need to help me put these on." Michaela bit her lip nervously, and she helped Sully into a less awkward situation. He helped her as best as he could, as she slid them onto him a leg at a time. By the time they were just to his knees, Sully shifted to let her slide them all the way up. He trembled, when her arm accidentally brushed against him, and she tried to keep her composure.

"I'm sorry," she said simply.

"No harm done," he pointed out. Michaela smiled shyly and finally helped him with the button. "Thanks." She nodded, and pulled her medical bag out again. As she fixed up his wound, he reached around to gently touch her knee through the fabric of her skirt.

"All finished," she spoke up, moving away from him to find his moccasins. When she did, she began helping him to put them on.

"Michaela?" She didn't answer him. She started searching through her medical bag. "Michaela? What's the matter with you?"

"Nothing, Sully," she said quickly.

"What's wrong? Things were fine a few minutes ago 'til Johnny…" Michaela's eyes met him. "This is about Johnny?" He reached for her hand, and she took a deep breath.

"Sully," she began, "that little boy needs you right now."

"He needs both of us. He's accepted that we're getting married. What…"

"Sully, what we've done here," she pointed out, "is something that he can't understand. He can't understand what we've been through to be together. He can't understand why we didn't wait. If he finds out and asks questions…"

"He won't, Michaela," Sully said quickly. He noticed she had tears in her eyes, and he felt guilty immediately. "Look at me. Look at me, Michaela." She looked up into his eyes and sniffled. "We don't got one thing to be ashamed of. But, nobody has to know. It'll be our secret. Nobody's gonna know it, Michaela."

"Sometimes I feel as if…people just know."

"So what?" He cleared his throat. "People ain't gonna find out from you, and they certainly ain't gonna find out from me. It's our secret to carry, Michaela. Ours." Michaela nodded and slowly wrapped her arms around his neck. "You gonna be ok?" She nodded, and when she pulled back, they kissed softly, savoring the few moments they had left to be alone. The flap to the teepee opened, and they quickly pulled away from one another.

"Cloud Dancin' says he's gonna get the horses ready," Johnny announced.

"Good," Sully said quietly. "Good." Johnny went on to talk about a dream he'd had the night before, but neither Michaela nor Sully were able to fully concentrate on his words. They kept stealing glances at one another, realizing that they were about to return to town and begin preparing for the future. It wasn't around the corner any longer. The future was now. They knew each other body and soul, and they were going to commit themselves to one another in front of their friends and family. They were going to start a family together. They were going to have their entire lives ahead of them. Life was too short, and when Michaela glanced at Sully, she knew she'd made the right decision. She was tired of waiting, of hoping, of wanting, of needing. She knew him now, and she was looking forward to getting to know him better for many, many years.

December 1870 – Colorado Springs

"Is that the last of it?" Matthew asked, as he held Charlie on one hip and carried a crate under his other arm.

"That's the last of it," Charlotte said with a heavy sigh, looking up at the place that used to be her home. Brian tugged on his mother's hand.

"Ma?"

"What is it, Brian?" she asked.

"We'll find a place to live, won't we?"

"Sure we will," Charlotte said with a brave smile. She looked over at Matthew and Ingrid. "It'll only be a for a few days. We'll figure somethin' out."

"Stay as long as ya want, Ma," Matthew offered. "We got plenty of room for all three of ya. 'Sides, Charlie is gonna love havin' his grandma there every day." Charlotte smiled.

"Give me that baby." She pulled him into her arms. "He always makes me feel better. Don't ya, Charlie?" Charlie giggled, and Charlotte kissed his cheek.

"All ready, Ma," Colleen said, jumping into the back of the wagon. "C'mon, Brian." Brian followed her inside, and Matthew helped his mother and son up into the front of the wagon. He got in beside her, and Ingrid climbed into the back to sit with the children.

Charlotte smiled sadly, looking at the home she'd raised her babies in the last several years. The bank was taking it away, and she was certain that place would never be the same again.