Chapter 36
Warning: This chapter contains adult content. If the act of lovemaking between two consenting, unmarried adults bothers you, please shield your eyes from the MnS lovin'.
Christmas Night – 1870 – Colorado Springs"C'mon Pup. Eat somethin'," Johnny said with a sigh, as he tried to feed the little wolf pup with a small bottle. He'd had been working with the pups most of the evening, but he seemed to be enjoying himself.
"Pup, huh?" Johnny looked up from the bed he sat on and smiled at his father. Sully was standing in the doorway with a towel draped over one shoulder. He was about to head down to take a long bath. Earlier that afternoon, Michaela had removed the bandage and said that the stitches needed air, so he was about soak in a warm bath and relax his muscles.
"Yep. This is Pup," Johnny said with a smile. "That one's Wolf, and Dr. Mike named the white one Snowball." Sully cocked his eyebrow.
"She did?" He already knew Michaela was attached. He could already hear them teaming up on him once the time came. He knew they were going to end up keeping one or all three of those pups. It was too hard not to get attached.
"Yep." Sully decided not to say anything to his son to put a damper on his mood. It had been a wonderful Christmas day. He'd given the boy his medicine pouch, and Johnny had given Michaela the dream catcher he'd been working on. Sully was happy, because he had spent the afternoon with his two favorite people in the world: his son and his future wife.
"Well, ya look like you're all settled in for the night," Sully pointed out. "I'll leave ya be. Ya sure you wanna take care of the pups tonight?"
"I can do it, Pa." Sully knew his son's angle. He wanted to prove that he could take care of them as infants as a way of also proving that he could take on the responsibility of having his own pet.
"Alright," Sully replied. "You need any help 'fore I turn in?" Johnny pondered his father's offer for a minute.
"Well, maybe ya can help me with Pup. Wolf and Snowball already ate." Sully nodded.
"Alright. Let me see what I can do."
Christmas 1870 – On a Train to Nevada
Daniel glanced over at Carrie from time to time to make sure she was sleeping. She appeared to be, but in all honesty, she was probably faking it. He wouldn't doubt it. He was slowly beginning to wonder if he should have let her stay in that hospital a little longer. No. He couldn't think that. He knew that she didn't need to be locked up. Carrie was a free spirit, and without any room to spread her wings, she would die a slow, lonely death.
The train jostled, and he saw her stir. He leaned his head against the window and watched her from the corner of his eyes. Her hand was placed securely over her empty womb, and that saddened him. He knew she wanted that baby. Even though she hadn't known, she had wanted it.
He wished she hadn't pushed him away. He wanted to help her. He hadn't intended for things to go like this. He had wanted her out of that hospital, and he had wanted to help bring happiness into her life. Happiness was obviously not even close to what she had in mind. She had curled up in her compartment and slept, or pretended to, since the train took off from St. Louis hours ago.
"I'm sorry," he whispered to her sleeping form, as the sound of the train drowned out his words. He felt guilty for the way she was feeling. Maybe…maybe she needed somebody else. She'd opened up to Sully before. Maybe…just maybe. No. No, she couldn't be in love with Sully. She couldn't. That was silly. He was tired.
With a pounding head, he closed his eyes and hoped that he wasn't losing the bond he'd formed with her over the past couple of weeks. He enjoyed her company, and he liked to watch her open up. She had almost shed that cowgirl exterior, but there was still so much of it in her, and he enjoyed that. He liked that she wasn't proper or quiet or submissive. Something about it drove him wild, and he only hoped he wouldn't see that fire die out. He hoped she wouldn't turn her back on him completely. He wasn't sure he could handle that. Not this time. Not now.
Christmas 1870 - Colorado Springs
Michaela yawned, as she brushed out her wet hair. She had just had the most relaxing, hot bath she'd had in a long time. Now, she was preparing to sleep alone for the first time in almost a week. She had grown used to having Sully sleeping near her, and as she looked at that big empty bed, she saddened.
She dimmed the lamplight just enough that it was dark, but she could find her way to the bed. She was sad that she was going to have to find another place to stay soon. When the banker arrived in town, she was going to have to leave, and so would Sully and Johnny.
She tripped over one of her many crates, and she sighed heavily. All of her supplies, office furniture and other equipment had been delivered to the boarding house, and she knew that she was going to have to move all of that as well. Thankfully, most of it was downstairs and wouldn't have to be hauled down a flight of stairs. Still, the thought of it exhausted her.
With a sigh, Michaela slipped between the covers of the bed and pulled them up around her body. The silence surrounding her seemed to be too much. She wished that she could hear Sully's breathing right next to her; feel the warmth of his body keeping her warm.
She knew that what they'd done had been unexpected, and if anyone was to find out, they would surely be frowned upon for doing such a thing. But in truth, Michaela couldn't think of one reason she had to regret the decision she had made. Loving him and feeling his love had been something spectacular; something she had only begun to experience, and she couldn't believe how quickly her heart had changed. She had never dreamed of doing such things before marriage, but now, the thought of being with him thrilled…excited her beyond imagination.
Several minutes passed. An hour, maybe. "Sully," she whispered, running her fingers through her soft, damp locks. She turned the lamp down all the way and stared up into the darkness at what was supposed to be the ceiling. All she could see, however, was the pale moonlight sifting through the curtains. The only thing illuminated was the rocking chair in the corner, and the rest of the room was bathed in blackness.
With a heavy sigh, she adjusted the pillows behind her back and folded her hands over her stomach. She tried to calm the nerves that the past few days had caused, but she couldn't release the tension that had built up. The threat of being caught doing something neither one of them had expected came flooding back to her. Making love with Sully was thrilling in itself, but the idea of someone finding them was so scary that it made her pulse race and her desire for him elevate.
She couldn't believe herself, and she felt like a fool. Were these feelings normal? What was wrong with her? She'd never had such thoughts before. But now, she couldn't stop them; couldn't escape them.
The sound of footsteps creaking on the hallway floorboards sent shivers up her spine. She rolled her eyes in the darkness and rolled to her side, facing the darkness of the wall nearby. She shivered in her solace and pulled the blankets tighter around her body.
The floorboards creaked again, and Michaela slowly sat up in bed. A prowler? Perhaps Johnny was up and about. But, when the sounds stopped, she breathed a sigh of relief and lay back down, keeping her ears open for any other sounds.
But, as she was drifting off to sleep, she felt a breeze of cool air flutter over her face. She gasped softly and peered into the darkness, unable to see anything. She saw a shadow move past the moonlight, and she wanted to scream, but no sound came out.
"Shh," he whispered. "It's just me." Michaela shot up in bed, her heart pounding a million miles a minute.
"Sully!" she hissed. "What are you doing!" She couldn't see him, but she felt his hands grasp her shoulders tenderly.
"I missed ya," he whispered, leaning toward the scent of her soaps. "I needed to see ya."
"Let me find the lamp," Michaela started, but she felt him move closer. "Sully…" A moment later, she felt the stubble on his chin brush against her cheek, and she couldn't resist searching for his mouth in the darkness. His hands moved from her shoulders, and his arms instinctively encircled around her waist. "Sully…what are you doing?" she asked, as his lips claimed hers again. She moaned quietly, running her fingers through his curly, damp hair. She smiled at the fact that he'd cleaned up just for her, and it made her own damp body react to his.
"I got a confession," he breathed, nuzzling her neck, breathing a hot breath against her prickling flesh.
"A confession?" she asked in the darkness, falling back onto the soft bed, feeling his weight on top of her. She didn't dare move. She didn't dare breathe. She searched his eyes and the darkness, and though she didn't see them, she felt them staring into hers.
"The horse," he said softly, blindly running his fingers across her lips.
"From Snowbird?" Sully chuckled softly.
"And from me."
"From you?"
"A weddin' gift," he breathed. "I talked to Snowbird and Cloud Dancin', and Snowbird wanted to give you her horse."
"So it was your idea?" she asked, tears in her eyes.
"I wanted to find the perfect Christmas gift for ya…"
"You did," she promised, seeking his lips in the darkness. "You did." She bit her bottom lip. "I only wish I'd gotten you something." Without hesitation, he pressed soft kisses to her forehead.
"You are a gift to me," he whispered, inhaling the scent of her gorgeous tendrils of hair. Michaela shivered, as his hands roamed down the sides of her body, touching her through the fabric of her nightgown.
"Sully," she moaned, as his thumb rubbed over her already swelling breast. "Sully! We can't. We…we can't." Her lips found his again, and she ignored her own words.
"If ya don't want…I mean…" He stumbled for his words, and he searched for her face in the darkness. He couldn't see her. All he could do was hear, feel, taste.
"Johnny's just down the hall…" she whispered.
"I told him two stories 'fore I got cleaned up," he promised. "'Fore I came here, I checked and he was sleepin' like a baby."
"If he wakes…"
"The pups'll keep him busy." Sully promised, chuckling against Michaela's hair, as her nails gently raked down his back.
"I…" She shifted underneath him, and she grew colder when he moved away. His hand found hers, and she closed her eyes, seeing nothing more or less than she'd seen before. She couldn't stop the feelings that captivated her body and soul any longer. "Oh, Sully…" His lips found hers again, and she eagerly opened up to him. They blindly loved one another, holding each other so close and whispering softly, as they reintroduced themselves to the curves of each part, the smooth skin, the gentle tickle of hair here and there. Michaela moaned softly, when Sully's hands slid up her bare legs, further up her gown.
"I can stop," he whispered, when he felt her shudder. He knew how she would react, and he smiled when her arms encircled his neck, and she pulled him down onto her. She didn't know what had come over her. But, when Sully was with her, this powerful force took over, guiding their bodies and hearts. Her heart knew what she wanted, but it whispered echoes of her past; of what she had always believed in.
When his knees framed her hips, he pulled her up into his arms, gripping the fabric of her gown. Michaela lifted her arms, and when he discarded the garment from her, she fell back against the mattress. Her hands searched for him, and she found the material of his shirt, fumbling through the dark to un-tuck it.
He heard her moaning softly underneath him, and his hands slipped the rest of her undergarments off. She could feel him bulging against her, needing her, desiring her, and aching for her.
Bare against the bed, she gripped his shirt and finally tugged it free from the clutches of his buckskins. It fluttered off somewhere, and her hands immediately ran against his strong chest, feeling the fine chest hair before moving her hands up his strong arms and broad shoulders.
When her hands moved to his neck and finally buried themselves in his hair again, he swooped down, enveloping her slender form in his arms, pushing her breasts against his chest. He could feel her pulse racing against his, and it drove him onward, feeling her already damp for him. His hands ran down her body, exploring her, tasting her, caressing her.
She moaned, as his fingers entered her. One, two…then a third. She arched her back, gripping his shoulders.
"Sully," she breathed in his ear, trying to suppress the urge to cry out in pleasure, as his thumb circled her sensitive flesh. "Oh…oh…oh…Sully!" She cried out his name in his shoulder, and she shuddered against him, wanting to feel more of him.
"Michaela," he whispered, as his mouth enclosed over an inflamed nipple, gently suckling it before biting down ever so gently. She writhed against him, as he paid the same attention to her other breast, gently fondling the now neglected one with his hand.
Her hands were at his sides, pulling at his buckskins, urging them to come off. She was powerless at that very moment, as his hot breath against her aroused nipple caused her to shudder in need of relief again.
"Oh…." It was becoming harder for her to hold on, and he could feel her stomach muscles clenching. He moved away from her, and she felt his weight lift off of the bed. For a moment, her senses told her to stop this. Stop it and wait for the wedding night, but her heart took over and told her not to be afraid to love the man that is her soul mate. She had already loved him in this way. Waiting didn't seem to be an option any longer.
Her hands reached out for him; reached out into the darkness for any sign of his warmth.
"Sully?" Her racing heart was starting to slow, but when she felt him join her in the bed again, she could feel his bare thigh against hers, and her body nearly jumped off of the bed. "Sully!"
"Shhh…I'm here," he soothed. He framed her body with his, straddling her and looking down, almost seeing her through the thick black veil of the night.
"Please…kiss me," he heard her whisper. He heard her struggling with the words, and he knew she was afraid. She was afraid of completely letting go of everything she'd learned. For a moment, he felt guilty, but when her body melted against his, his reservations scattered to the wind.
He was heavy against her, but she didn't mind. She opened herself up to him, as he guided himself inside, fitting snugly. She cried out against his chest, gently pounding on his back for the strength to keep quiet. Sully shuddered, as he felt her warmth encompass him.
He felt as if he could lose control right then, but he wanted to make it special for her. He wanted her to be loved and to feel things he hadn't been able to accomplish right after he was shot. Now, he was above her, inside of her, and she was surrounding him, pulling him closer than ever before.
Her knees bent, as she opened up for him, taking him further. She panted wildly at the feeling of his body against hers and of him inside of her. It wasn't so new, but she was trapped between him and the bed this time with nowhere to go.
"I love you," she breathed, as his lips and tongue found the hollow of her neck. He still wasn't moving. He was gaining his composure and trying to hold on for her. He couldn't explain the amazing way they seemed to fit together so perfectly, and as she arched her back and molded her body against his, he knew. "Sully….I…I need…" Before she could say another word, his mouth was muffling her words and her cries, and his body was moving inside of her, scorching her walls with passion, and filling the air with hushed cries of pleasure.
They had yet to be able to completely let go. With a little boy so near, they had to be quite. With their relationship so unorthodox, they had to be quiet. The only wanted to give in to the cries that threatened to erupt from the centers of their beings. They wanted each other to know how intense the pleasure was and how much being together meant to them…how good it felt.
His mouth found her breasts again, and she arched her neck, breathing raggedly, as her hands roamed over his back and further down, bringing him deeper inside of her. Her touch sparked a flame that drove him on, keeping the passion at an ultimate high. Her hands grasped the headboard of the bed for a moment, pulling herself up just a little to match his thrusts. A moment later, she came crashing back against the mattress.
"Oh…" she crooned, feeling his fingers grip her hips and bring them closer…deeper. Her wobbly arms held onto him for dear life, as they began crashing into one another, unaware that they were so close to falling. They were living and loving in the moment, pulling and pushing and moving together as one.
Michaela felt herself approaching her peak moment by moment, and when she felt Sully's hands gently lift her hips at an angle, she gasped, as his thrusts brought new pleasures to her increasingly sensitive flesh.
"Oh!" she gasped out, clutching his shoulders with her nails, briefly wondering if she was hurting him, until she heard him cry out, continuing to thrust inside of her, bringing them both to their pinnacles. In a fantastic finale, Michaela and Sully collapsed in a heap of limbs, lying against one another still, as he gently withdrew himself and rolled to his sore back, pulling her against him.
For a moment, the only sounds were of their breaths returning to normal and of the wind howling outside.
"Michaela?" Sully asked after several moments of silence. She didn't make a sound, but he felt her hand gently squeeze his. After several more moments of gaining their composures, Sully spoke again. "You're happy in Colorado Springs, right?" Michaela shifted in his arms, and her hand gently massaged his chest.
"Of course," she whispered.
"You definitely wanna settle down here?"
"Yes," she said with a smile in the dark. A pause. "Don't you?"
"Sure I do. I just…wanted to make sure." He kissed the top of her head. "With the money Miss Olive gave me today and with what Loren left, I got enough to buy us a nice piece of land…build us a nice house. More than enough money for that."
"Yes?" she questioned.
"Well, I just figured…once you get all settled in here, maybe we ought to…to set a date for the weddin'." He felt Michaela stretch in his arms.
"You're right," she said with a low hum, as his hand squeezed her shoulder.
"When do ya wanna get married?" Michaela laughed.
"Sully, we don't even have…have plans yet. Invitations, guests…I…"
"We got plenty of plans," he replied, tracing his hand along the curve of her hip. She almost swatted his hand away, but she thought twice about it.
"Sully," she warned, her face blushing in the darkness.
"C'mon. When could ya see yourself getting married?" Michaela sighed. Honestly, she hadn't thought about it for a few days. She already felt like she was married. They certainly acted that way, which still surprised her. But she wasn't filled with guilt or regret like she thought she could have been. She was happy. She was absolutely happy and ready to be his wife.
"Well," she thought, "I've always wanted a wedding in the summer. Perhaps…perhaps the end of May? It's still months away." Sully yawned quietly. "What do you think?"
"May sounds good. Do ya…do ya think we can keep our…our secret?" Michaela blushed, and he could feel her cheek grow warm against his chest. "Or do ya want to…to stop?" Michaela didn't know how to answer that. Of course she didn't want to stop, but as a doctor, she knew the risks. But were they risks she was willing to take?
"I don't know," she said gently. "Being with you…I never imagined we'd be like this now. But, since…since it first happened, it's hard to imagine not knowing you…not being with you. It doesn't feel wrong to me. But, everything I've grown up believing tells me it's wrong."
"What do you think?"
"It's…it isn't wrong, Sully. Loving you…how could that be wrong?" She felt his lips enclose over hers for a moment, and she moaned softly. "Something is so different now," she whispered when they parted.
"Yeah," he replied. "I know what ya mean. I didn't wanna hurt ya, Michaela. Just that…bein' with ya…well, I never…" He found words too difficult to form right now, as Michaela's leg draped over him. He swallowed hard. "I spent ten years thinkin' about you. Not one day went by that I didn't…and just….it seems like we lost so much time. I wanna spend every minute I can makin' up for what we lost." Michaela nodded in agreement.
"May twentieth."
"What about it?"
"That's the day, Sully."
"Why the twentieth?" Michaela laughed a little.
"I'm not sure. I just…I have this feeling that's the day." Sully nodded and found her lips again, bringing out a low moan from the back of her throat.
"May twentieth it is."
Charlotte yawned, as she paced the dim kitchen. She felt like a stranger in her son's house, but it was home now. She only hoped that Sully, Michaela, and Johnny had found their way back to town and were safe.
With a heavy sigh, Charlotte swallowed the last of her warm milk. She looked at the last empty pouch of digitalis. She hoped she'd be alright until morning. She hoped Michaela would be back in town so she could visit. She needed to talk to her. She needed to do something to help the doctor get settled into town. She could already feel that Michaela had a long journey ahead of her, and the least she could do was help her out along the way.
She placed her empty cup in the washbasin, quickly cleaned it up, dried it and put it away before she started up the stairs to her room.
On her way up, she felt the familiar beating of her heart beginning to change. She gripped the banister and knelt on the steps, trying to keep herself balanced.
"Oh…no. Not now," she whispered. "Not yet." She clutched her chest, letting go of the banister, and she collapsed upon the landing. The sound of her tumble woke sleeping eyes, and when Matthew appeared in the hall, he saw his mother lying unconscious on the landing of the stairs.
"MA!"