Chapter Three
It had been a long while now since that first day, or maybe it just feels like it was. Weeks were passing by in a warm yet tense haze.
Tense, because I was horribly anxious.
Alfred never noticed that his sweatshirt was missing, and if he did notice he didn't bother to tell us. I hope that's the case, because that would mean it wasn't too important to him.
However, my little adventure in his room isn't why I've been feeling so anxious. It's because nothing - nothing at all - has happened between Alfred and I.
Everyday seemed to be just the same.
When I say this, I mean that there hasn't been any real progress in our relationship. Yes, we're becoming better friends. Yes, we're learning more about each other. Yes, I still get to be with him everyday. All of these things are wonderful – everything about Alfred is wonderful. The problem is that I don't want to be his friend, I want to be his lover.
Now do you see what I mean?
As of right now, Alfred is considered free territory to anyone else because we aren't lovers yet and because they're blind to how perfectly we fit together. In other words, it's not Alfred's fault that he's so adorably dense – in fact, I see it as perfectly normal to be confused and uncertain about something as important as a long lasting, fated relationship. He just needs more time. I just wish he didn't.
I must admit that I've been sinfully impatient and because of this my nerves seem to keep piling up one after another. People seem to be purposefully causing Alfred's realization process to lengthen. It makes me wish he wasn't so easy to adore.
Yes, it was just as I feared. Alfred has been rapidly making more friends and is now very well known throughout the school. It's as though everyone is trying to get in our way, and that thought alone is slowly pushing me to my last level of self control.
Fake Arthur is my last defense, and he's breaking down slowly. His smile twitches and he jiggles his leg whenever Alfred mentions someone else. He's quieter to avoid snapping at people. Small and almost unnoticeable changes, but the worst things start out like that.
I contemplate this as I silently make my way down the hall to the cafeteria. How long will it take until Fake Arthur finally breaks? What will I do when he does? I fear myself more than anyone else.
I stand by the cafeteria entrance and frown at my table.
Alfred is late today, it seems.
Francis and the lot are already here and I'm only second to last because I was so deep in thought that it caused me to move slower. I slid into my seat next to Francis and hold in my sighs, staring forlornly at the empty seat beside me. What's taking him so long? I thought he had gotten better about being late. My usual fears of what could've happened to him hit me all at once.
"Arthur, my dearest friend! It appears we've been abandoned." Francis cries dramatically, gesturing to the tables at the left. I really don't have any time for his random outbursts, but I raise a brow at him anyways. "Oh? By whom?" "Alfred, of course. Who am I supposed to use as eye candy now? It's a tragedy, I tell you."
My blood runs cold. He left me? No, that couldn't be. I casually pick at my food. "Aren't the seats assigned once you sit in them on your first day?" "This is high school you dumbass." Gilbert snorts. "People just like to stick to their usual seats like us." I narrow my eyes at him but glance in the direction Francis had waved in, silently hoping what he said was a lie.
Hope didn't seem to be on my side.
There's no mistaking it - Alfred was sitting with a different group of people who were just as loud as he was. Laughing. Smiling. Why? Why would he do this to me?
Fake Arthur's smile faltered.
"What's this? You seem almost disappointed." Francis smirks at me and I turn to glare at him. "You must be seeing things," I reply curtly, still pretending to be interested in my food despite my sudden lack of appetite. "Like I care about where he sits." Of course this was untrue, but I felt as though Francis knew too much despite his jokes and teasing.
If Francis was to find out about Alfred and I he would tell Alfred and confuse him, not to mention everyone else. It may even prompt Francis to pretend to flirt with Alfred even more than he usually does. I wouldn't accept that kind of behavior towards my Alfred even as a joke. It makes me feel sick.
"Oh? You're more denial than usual, are you not? Just admit it. You love him." He makes kissing noises and I grunt at him instead of engaging, but it doesn't work. It just eggs him on further. His smirk is replaced with a sly smile. "Although I must admit, he is quite the catch. Perhaps I should put my charms to the test?"
I freeze.
Surely, I heard wrong. Did I? Of course I didn't. It was such a Francis thing to say.
But what surprised me the most was the fact that I've been so blind. Obviously all of this talk about pursuing Alfred wasn't a joke.
He's serious, and he's just proved it.
If Francis thinks that way, then surely he's not the only one. There are vile, disgusting creatures in this school that are just like him. Creatures that would jump at the chance to have Alfred. Creatures that would swoon at the thought of tainting him.
Even though he's mine.
They'll ruin it. Francis will ruin it. Ruin everything. Ruin the perfect, innocent love that Alfred and I share.
The thought of the two of us being driven apart like that is too much for me. My fingers start to shake. I can't blink - my eyes are stuck open, wide with shock and horror. An earthquake is happening in my mind and I can't form a single coherent thought.
"Uh oh, you've done it now!" Antonio laughs, turning away from Feli to reach over the table and pat me on the shoulder. "Don't worry, Arthur. He's just kidding around. You know Francis." "I wouldn't be so sure." Gilbert snickered. "But really, Arthur, you're acting like Francis just killed someone." He raises a brow at Francis then one at me. "Think you've finally gone too far, Franny?" Francis shrugs, but the slightest bit of a concern flashes in his eyes.
Concern? No. Amusement. He's laughing inside. He knows exactly what he's doing. He enjoys seeing me tremble with anger and disgust. I know him.
But I have to calm down. I need to breathe. I need to act normal for Alfred's sake. For our sake. I can't let Francis win.
I blink. I breathe.
I slam my fist on Francis's head.
He cries out, but I didn't hit him that hard. Only hard enough to give the impression that I'm simply irritated. If I did hit him hard, he'd think I was seriously distraught by his comments. I didn't want to give him that satisfaction. I wanted him to be surprised, not hurt.
Not yet.
"I knew it! I knew he was bullshitting!" Gilbert throws his head back, howling with laughter. Francis rubs his head and whines. "You overreact, Arthur. There was no reason to hit me!" Oh, I had a perfect reason. Liar. I hate you.
I wish you'd choke on your food and die.
Feli looks up from whatever he was doing, oblivious to what had happened. The thought hits me that I never really liked him that much. He's not a bad person, he's just too energetic and sensitive for me to handle. He's really just a happier and perhaps kinder version of Francis. They both love beautiful people and talking.
"What's wrong, Francis? Do you have a headache?" He asks, his voice laced with concern. Gilbert and Antonio tried to cover up laughter by eating to avoid hurting Feli's feelings, but end up coughing all over themselves and laughing harder, Francis soon joining in. Fake Arthur pulls himself together and laughs as well to show that there aren't any hard feelings.
It's all a big fucking joke.
I've managed to avoid conflict, but I cut it close. Simply thinking of Alfred had saved me. It just goes to show how lost I am without Alfred with me. I steal a glance back at his table to see him and the group of thieves staring at us curiously, probably wondering what the laughing was about. Alfred talks to someone before getting up and heading over. My heartbeat quickens in excitement and I look away casually - if I did it too fast, it'd be obvious I was staring.
"The heck is going on over here? I thought something was about to go down 'til you all started laughing." He slides into his seat next to me and I almost sigh with contentment. It's as though someone removed a weight from my mind. Alfred puts me completely at ease.
"Francis was being stupid as fuck and pissed Arthur off." Gilbert began. "So Arthur hit him and then Feli got the wrong idea. You should've been here, mister popular." Alfred snorted. "What'd Francis say?"
I shot Gilbert a look that hopefully told him to shut his trap. He clears his throat before saying: "Uh, something about his eyebrows. You know how he is about those caterpillars of his."
He played along a bit too well. I successfully slip back into Fake Arthur and he rolls his eyes at him. Francis looks a bit confused but decided not to question it. He still made sure to send me a knowing smirk that made my blood boil.
"Good job Francis, you jerk." Alfred flashes me his trademark grin that heats up my entire body and makes me feel like melting. "Anyways, I'm sorry I missed it. Spent lunch talking about this dumb project with this guy - Eduard, I think. Spelled with a 'u' and not a 'w'. Kinda strange, right? He says he's from Estonia or something. Anyways, Eduard didn't seem to care that much about how it's pronounced, so..." Alfred shrugged. "In the end, we didn't get anything done because a bunch of these other guys came over so it was all kinda of useless."
Who is this Eduard person and who cares about his name? It's just a label to a face. All I cared about was that Eduard and his friends stole my precious time with Alfred. But I suppose it was alright - it was just a project, and the boy likely meant no harm. But next time something like this happened, I'd be sure to investigate thoroughly.
You never know.
I smile at Alfred. "Next time, I'll tag along. I'm actually a bit curious about this Eduard guy." "Sweet! I think you two would hit it off. You're both awesome with computers." He praised me! I could shine.
Alfred, Alfred. I wish I could tell you how much I missed you. I wish I could beg you to never leave me alone again. Why are you taking so long? What's the matter?
"Alfred, be sure to take some time out for us too! When you're popular, remember that we were the ones who helped you on your feet." Gilbert teased. Feli seemed to think Gilbert was serious and nodded enthusiastically in agreement. "Yes, we all miss you. Especially me." Francis winked. Gilbert and Antonio rolled their eyes. I almost did the same out of habit until what he said sunk in.
What?
Francis grins mischievously.
Alfred seems slightly embarrassed and drums his fingers on the table.
That's what he does when he's embarrassed? I'd be sure to note that - wait.
Why is he embarrassed? Francis was joking, right? Alfred was supposed to laugh and shake his head.
Why? Why, why, why, why, why?
Ah.
I keep forgetting, don't I? I keep desperately trying to ignore it. Who am I trying to fool? It's so obvious.
Francis is trying to steal Alfred away from me.
'Joke' my ass. I have to fight myself to swallow my rage.
But then, a strange calmness came over me and I find myself relaxed. For a second I was almost angry with Alfred as well when he did absolutely nothing wrong. Alfred was the one who was really struggling, not me. My poor, precious Alfred who has to fight alone against these horrible people who try to split us apart when he's trying to come to his senses.
I'm no better than them. I'm sitting around pitying myself. I'm a terrible person. Terrible. I'm just as bad as Francis.
But I don't have to be, do I?
It occurs to me that I don't have to sit around. I can help Alfred! But how? What can I do? I'm worried that if I start making serious romantic advances instead of letting our love take it's course, I'll scare him away. He doesn't know me well enough yet. But if I had more time with him, if all the main distractions disappeared, I'd be golden. Nobody would be able to get in our way.
So what is it? No, it's not a 'what', but a 'who'. Who is it? Who's the main distraction right now? The answer is obvious, of course. I've known it all along.
It's all clear now.
"Arthur?" Someone finally decides to nudge me, knocking me out of my trance. I glance up, blinking in surprise. Everyone stares at me with bemused expressions.
"Were you in la la land or what?" Antonio laughs, and I smile at him. "Yeah, I guess you're right. I don't think I got enough sleep last night. Probably why my moods been out of whack." "Yeah? I was thinking something was weird. You seemed kinda out of it today!" Feli pipes up. Was he always here?
I turn my gaze to Alfred and my eyes soften. I hope they tell him that everything's okay now. Poor dear. He's been suffering and he probably doesn't even know it. He's so confused. I'll make everything better.
He smiles back at me looking almost relieved. My heartbeat quickens. Does he understand me? I'm not too sure. I've been told that some lovers have such a strong connection that even their thoughts are one. I wish I knew what Alfred was thinking.
I then finally look at Francis, who's expression looks amused but with a trace of something else. Is it worry? Are you worried, Francis? Why? Is it because I've found out what your plan is? Is it because I know who you're after?
You should be.
I'll never hand Alfred over to you.
I smile at him too.
I almost want to laugh.
A/N: Well!
That took a while.
... Sorry.
I bet some of you knew this was coming. I probably made it a bit too obvious. Which is bad, because I'm trying not to rush things.
I'm actually sort of annoyed because I feel like my chapters are too short. Do they seem short to you? Please tell me!
Chapter four is coming along, so stay tuned!
Author out!