Chapter 43

January 1871 – Colorado Springs

Daniel slowly shut the door to Carrie's room, happy that she was finally asleep. He ventured down the hall and stairs and out onto the porch of the clinic for a breath of cold, fresh air.

He nodded to a few familiar faces that he remembered from when he had lived in Colorado Springs for a short time. That had been years ago, however, and he was probably just as much of a stranger to the town as it was to him.

He sat down on the bench, putting his gloves on to warm his frosted fingers, and he looked around, taking in the sights around him. Despite the tacky saloon that poured slurred, drunken music out into the street, Colorado Springs had certainly sprung to life since the last time he was there. He could almost see himself living there; he could see himself starting a family there. When he realized his own thoughts, his heart saddened. Carrie couldn't have children. No children. He had wanted children for a long time, but his feelings for Carrie were much stronger than they had ever been before. Even if they never had a family, he would love her…he would love her forever, even if she didn't want him to.

"Well look at you." Daniel looked up sharply to see Miss Olive standing there. He remembered her quite clearly from all of those years ago. She'd always had odd jobs for him and for Sully to do.

"Miss Olive," he said with a smile, standing and walking over to hug her.

"I heard your friend is sick," she commented, pulling out of the hug. "Sorry to hear that."

"Yeah. She's doin' better though. The doctor says she can be outta bed in a week or two, dependin' on how she's feelin'."

"And how're you feelin'?" Daniel shifted uncomfortably.

"I'm just worried 'bout her," he replied quietly. He shook his head. "Carrie's a special lady. She's got this fire in her, but she's been hurt real bad. She's been through a lot." Olive's eyes saddened. She'd seen girls treated abominably by men before, and she was certain that was what Daniel was referring to. But, she also knew that a kind heart and a helping hand could do good for almost anyone. Despite her biting exterior, she knew when sensitivity was best.

"Well, I just brought this basket over. Figured she might like a few things to keep herself comfortable. If ya wanna take 'em up…" He shook his head, glancing around.

"Naw. You take 'em up. She's probably getting tired of seein' my face anyhow," Daniel said with a chuckle. "She's restin'."

"I don't wanna bother her."

"She won't mind. She's got a temper, but she's too weak to throw ya out herself." Olive rolled her eyes, chuckled, and gave him a pat on the back before she started up the stairs to meet Dr. Mike's patient.

She slowly opened the only closed door in the upstairs hallway, and she saw the pale form of a young woman lying on the bed. She stepped lightly, moving across the room to place the basket at Carrie's bedside. But, before she could place it down quietly, Carrie's eyes snapped open, and the sight of the woman caused her to tense up.

"Who are you? What do you want?" she asked immediately, searching around for Daniel and struggling to pull her blankets close to her body. Olive was taken aback at the harsh words that spat venomously from Carrie's quivering mouth.

"I don't mean no harm," Olive said quietly, eyeing the girl curiously. "I just though that…bein' a lady, you'd appreciate some of these things." Olive cleared her throat, and Carrie eyed the basket. "Brought ya some soaps and some lady things…"

"Why?"

"Do folks need a reason to do somethin' nice for somebody else?" Carrie scoffed painfully.

"Only reason folks do somethin' nice for a stranger is when they want somethin' in return." Olive raised an eyebrow, impressed by the woman's boldness.

"Well, I ain't sure where you come from, but 'round here, lots of folks get by with the help of their friends and neighbors. I ain't sayin' it's always like that, but it's nice to know ya got somebody to help ya out when ya need it."

"I don't need no help. I'm leavin' here just as soon as I can." She looked toward the window, and Olive folded her arms across her chest.

"Maybe so, but ya could at least be grateful that somebody wants to help ya. With an attitude like that, ya ain't gonna get real far. That's comin' from somebody with experience." She turned toward the door, and Carrie's eyes followed her. Most women she spoke to like that would have been speechless, but not this lady. She had this maternal sternness about her, and she seemed like the kind of lady that could even frighten a man with mere words.

Carrie was surprised when Olive turned back toward her. "If ya need anything, my name's Olive Davis, and I run the general store here in town." A moment later, she was gone, and Carrie was left alone in her silence, just as the clatter of a wagon came rambling into town.

"Dr. Mike! Dr. Mike!" the voices called. Carrie desperately wanted to get out of bed and see what the fuss was about, but again, her pain took over and she was forced to lie back as the world moved on without her.

Elizabeth Quinn leaned against the wall at the entrance of the church, having just heard her daughter reduced to tears because of her. She had heard Sully comfort her. She knew he was a good man, but she wasn't convinced he was the right man for Michaela. Landon would have made a wonderful choice had he not gotten married.

With a sigh, Elizabeth straightened up and cleared her throat, stepping into the sight of her daughter and apparent future son-in-law. The first thing she saw was Sully with his arms protectively and gently wrapped around Michaela. His hand was comfortingly rubbing her back, as he swayed with her. It reminded her of a time when Josef had held her that way, and it made her heart skip a beat. But, she had to remain firm. She had to do what she thought was best for her daughter, whatever the cost. Love just wasn't always enough. She knew that better than most.

Sully was the first to see Elizabeth, and he gently squeezed Michaela's shoulder. Michaela tensed a little bit, looking up at him. But, his eyes were looking elsewhere.

"Mrs. Quinn," he said quietly. Michaela tore herself away from Sully, spinning around to stare intensely at her mother's still form.

"Mother, what are you doing here?"

"I came to speak with you."

"I think you've already said enough," Michaela responded, turning back toward her future husband. But Elizabeth was relentless.

"Now that you're both here," Elizabeth began, "I'd like to explain myself."

"I don't want to hear it, Mother. Like I said, you've already said enough." She took Sully's hand, but he squeezed it gently, looking down into her soft, worried eyes. He hated to see her hurting, and he knew that arguing with her mother was hurting her beyond words.

"Maybe we ought to let her say what she needs to say."

"Sully," Michaela said softly, silently warning him that this was not a good idea.

"It's alright." He led her to the pew, and they sat down. Elizabeth cleared her throat and walked up the aisle, ready to tell her daughter that life was too precious to waste on an uncertain future.

"I know that I gave you my blessing when you told me how much you cared for Mr. Sully," Elizabeth said quietly, standing at the front of the church, looking at Michaela and Sully as if they were her sheep. "The truth is that I didn't assume that either one of you would truly find one another again. Michaela, you were going off to start a new life. I assumed you would find someone that would be a good match and would make you happy." Michaela sighed heavily, but Elizabeth continued. "Mr. Sully, how do you expect to support my daughter? Did either one of you think about that?"

"Mother," Michaela said quickly, "Sully makes his money the best way he knows how." Sully cleared his throat.

"I do what I can, Ma'am, and the truth is, we got more than us to support now." Elizabeth's face paled.

"I beg your pardon?" Realizing what her mother was assuming, Michaela put her hand on Sully's.

"He means that he has a son, Mother."

"A son!" Elizabeth queried. She shook her head. "Michaela, are you actually telling me that you're marrying a man who has a child with another woman?"

"Mother!" Michaela warned. "You don't realize…"

"It's alright," Sully said quietly. "Ya don't gotta explain."

"You have a son?" Elizabeth stormed. "You claim to love her, yet you have a child with another woman?"

"Stop it, Mother!" Just as she was about to speak again, Matthew Cooper came running into the church.

"Dr. Mike!"

"Matthew?" Michaela pulled herself away from her mother and Sully and rushed to meet Charlotte's son. "Matthew? What is it?"

"It's Ma! Ya gotta come quick."

September 1863

She threw herself onto her cot, hating everything about herself and about the man who had gotten her into this situation. She hated herself more, however, because she was supposed to be strong. She wasn't supposed to let the cowboys get to her. And what was worse, she didn't even know his name. That's what made her more ashamed to tell her Pa about him than anything. She couldn't even tell him his name.

She was just a girl. She was too young. How could this happen?

She didn't bother to brush away her tears, as she clung tightly to her pillow. She wanted to forget. She wanted to take away the pain. She hated herself and she resented the pregnancy. She felt guilty, because it wasn't the baby's fault. God, how could she be so heartless? It was her actions and the nameless cowboy's actions that led her to it. Now she was paying a big price, and she knew that because of this, the child would pay too.

"Why did this have to happen?" she asked. "Why?" She curled up, sobbing into her pillow, wishing her mother was there to take away her pain.

January 1871 – Colorado Springs

Michaela had already run across town with Matthew, but Sully had stayed behind to escort Elizabeth back into town, despite the fact that she was trying to convince Michaela not to marry him.

"Michaela's a good doctor, Mrs. Quinn," Sully began, trying to find the words to try to convince Elizabeth that Michaela had made a good decision for herself. "Lots of folks need her help."

"Lots of people need her back in Boston, Mr. Sully," Elizabeth replied.

"I think ya mean yourself," Sully dared. "She said business wasn't good in Boston."

"Well, she doesn't have a very practical career."

"Maybe not," Sully pointed out, "but she's good at it. Folks need her. She's savin' lives, and she's already makin' roots here." Elizabeth shook her head.

"I can't accept that, Mr. Sully. Michaela needs to realize that…"

"I mean no disrespect, Ma'am, but Michaela's old enough to make choices for herself. She chose to go to medical school and to move away from Boston. She's doin' just fine."

"Do you honestly want to drag Michaela down?" Sully froze. "She could do so much with her life, but she's chosen to stay with you. She has the idea that you're meant to be together, yet you're nothing like her." She cleared her throat. "You may love one another, but is that enough?"

"Mrs. Quinn," Sully interrupted, "Michaela and I…well, we've been through more than you could ever know. I love her. I love her more than I ever loved anybody." He looked toward the schoolhouse to see Johnny running out with Brian. As Brian veered off toward town, Johnny spotted his father. "That's my son. My wife Abagail's ma and pa were watchin' him the night our house burnt down. I spent ten years thinkin' he was dead, and now…" Elizabeth watched Sully swallow the lump in his throat, and she pitied him for a moment. "Bein' without the people I love…I've been doin' that all my life. Bein' without Michaela would hurt just as bad."

"I didn't know," Elizabeth said quietly. "I'm sorry for assuming…"

"No harm," Sully pointed out. "The thing is, Mrs., Quinn, Michaela and I know each other better than anybody. She saved my life."

"Mr. Sully," Elizabeth started, but Johnny interrupted.

"Pa!"

"Hey Johnny," Sully greeted him, tousling the boy's hair. Johnny looked up at Elizabeth and paused.

"Who's she?"

"Johnny," Sully began, stopping in his tracks. "This is Dr. Mike's ma, Mrs. Elizabeth Quinn." Johnny nodded and extended his hand like a gentleman. Elizabeth smiled a little and took the boy's hand.

"Nice to meetcha," he said with a grin. "So you're my new grandma?" Elizabeth's eyes widened, and Johnny looked up at Sully.

"Ah, son," Sully said quietly, "you just call her Mrs. Quinn for now, alright?"

"Okay," he replied with a nod. "I'm gonna go find Brian now." Before Sully could respond, Johnny was running off.

"He's a nice young man," Elizabeth said thoughtfully.

"I'd like to say thanks, but I didn't really have no part in that. His grandpa and grandma raised him. After Maude died, Loren did the best he could. He left…he left everything to me and my son, and I've already bought a piece of land…that's where I'm gonna build the homestead for my family."

As they crossed the bridge, Elizabeth slipped on a slick patch of ice, and Sully quickly caught her before she could fall.

"Oh! Oh, thank you, Mr. Sully," Elizabeth said, flattening out the sides of her skirts when she straightened up on her own two feet. He merely nodded, and they continued on.

"When we found each other in San Francisco, that's all we needed. We knew what was right."

"How could you have possibly known that?" Elizabeth asked in exasperation.

"We just did. Now we're engaged, and we're happy, Mrs. Quinn. I ain't seen Michaela smile the way she does in a long time. I don't think she ever smiled like that when we first met." Elizabeth shook her head.

"Mr. Sully," she said quietly. "I've noticed a change in my daughter. I…I hope you realize that she's not just some…some…" She couldn't even think of the words, as her blood began to boil. "Something has changed, Mr. Sully, and if it's what I think it is, I do not approve." Her cheeks flushed at having such a conversation with him. Sully glanced at Mrs. Quinn but said nothing. "If you love her, you'll do what's right. You'll let her go before you both have burdens to bear." Finally, Sully stopped and turned back toward her.

"And what makes ya think you know what's best for her?"

"Because I'm her mother. I know that love gets you a long way, but money gets you further." Something sad in her eyes flashed at him, and he turned her face away.

They rounded a corner and walked around to the front of the clinic, where a crowd was now gathered. Rebecca and Mary stood nearby with Grace, and they were speaking as if they had already been acquainted.

"Grandma!" Mary exclaimed excitedly. Rebecca excused herself from Grace and hurried over with Mary.

"Michaela's inside with a patient, Mother," Rebecca said worriedly. She glanced at the man standing beside Elizabeth, and she smiled.

"Mr. Sully!" she said with a grin. "It's wonderful to see you!"

"Mrs. Buchanan," Sully said with a nod. Mary tugged on his hand.

"Mary, that isn't lady-like," Elizabeth scolded.

"She's alright," Sully assured her, kneeling down.

"You're marryin' my Aunt Michaela?"

"That's right," he said with a smile. Mary grinned and nodded her head. She looked up at Rebecca.

"Aunt Michaela was right in her letter! His eyes do sparkle!" Sully laughed a little, and Elizabeth shifted with exasperation.

"Welcome to our family, Mr. Sully. It's wonderful that you and Michaela have found one another." Elizabeth's eyes glared daggers at Rebecca, who didn't seem to notice.

"I appreciate that," Sully replied, as Johnny jogged over. Little Mary had caught his attention.

"Hi," he said quietly, stepping up beside his father. Sully put his hand on Johnny's shoulder. "Johnny, this is Dr. Mike's sister Rebecca. This is her daughter."

"I'm Mary," the little girl said with a twinkling smile.

"I'm Johnny."

"I know. Your father just said your name," Mary giggled. Johnny looked up at Sully and raised an eyebrow. Sully nudged him on. It was better to make friends than enemies, after all.

"Hey! Do ya wanna come see my horse?"

"Oh! May I?" Mary looked hopefully up at her mother. Rebecca glanced at Sully.

"Well, I suppose it would be alright."

"Don't worry. I know this place real good. I'll bring her right back." Rebecca chuckled, as Johnny took Mary's hand and led her off saying, "he's the fastest horse in Colorado Springs!"

"Are you certain that's a good idea, Rebecca? That boy…"

"He knows this place better than most folks. He's got a good sense of direction, and this town ain't real big anyway. But, I'll keep an eye on 'em."

"Thank you, Mr. Sully," Rebecca said gratefully. Sully nodded and glanced at Elizabeth before going off to watch his son and Mary become acquainted.

"Charlotte? How are you feeling?" Michaela asked, as she propped up her pillows.

"Better," Charlotte admitted. She watched the doctor mix Digitalis into a cup of water. "Let's face it, Doc. I ain't getting any better. If anything, I'm getting worse."

"There's always hope," Michaela whispered softly, trying to stay confident.

"There is," Charlotte said softly. "But ya know things are getting worse. That powder ain't workin' nearly as well. I can't do things I used to be able to do. I can barely get outta bed in the mornin' without feelin' tired."

"You just need to—"

"Take it easy? I know, Doc," Charlotte said quietly. "I been doin' that, but I can feel it. It's like my clock's windin' down. It's telling me that my time's almost up."

"Don't say that, Charlotte," Michaela said gently, sitting down on the edge of the bed and taking Charlotte's hand in hers.

"Ya know the truth," Charlotte whispered. "I'm dyin'." Michaela didn't nod or disagree, but her saddening eyes showed the truth. "Now that I know, Doc, I need to start makin' arrangements for when I go." She took a deep breath. "I already spoke with Matthew, and he said that he'd take Colleen and Brian." Michaela raised an eyebrow.

"Matthew and Ingrid? They already have such a young son, and…"

"Better them than that no good father of theirs. He's already got himself two new kids anyway." Her voice was full of pain and years of neglect.

"Charlotte, if he could provide for them—"

"No! He ain't done nothin' while I was alive, so why should he after I'm gone?" She coughed sharply. "Them kids deserve better, and I know that somethin' good has got to happen. Life ain't always like this. Life ain't always about the sadness." Charlotte noticed Michaela's eyes falling downcast.

"What's the matter with you? I seen that look in your eyes when ya came in today. What's wrong?"

"It's nothing, Charlotte," Michaela said gently, not wanting to trouble her.

"Never lie to a dyin' woman," Charlotte warned, squeezing Michaela's hand. "Now tell me everything. You tell me as much as ya want, and I swear it'll go to the grave with me."

Michaela brushed her tears away, and she shook her head.

"I don't know what to do," she whispered.

"About?"

"About you…about Sully…about Mother. I feel so helpless, Charlotte."

"Your mother?" Charlotte asked with surprise.

"She's here. She came with my sister and my niece. She's trying to convince me that I shouldn't marry Sully. She has no idea how much I love him, Charlotte. She has no idea how difficult it's been for me…for him."

"You told her?"

"I did," she whispered. "Oh, Charlotte. Mother doesn't understand. She claims that she loved my father when she married him, but she insists that love isn't important. I gave my heart to Sully a long time ago, and she suspects…well, she suspects…"

"Yeah?" Charlotte reached out and brushed a stray tear from Michaela's cheek.

"She suspects things that I never thought she would…"

"She's your ma, darlin'," Charlotte whispered. "She knows things 'bout you that maybe you don't realize yet."

"But she doesn't know how much I love Sully. I could never love another man the way I love him. I've told her over and over again."

"Maybe instead of tellin' her, you oughta show her," Charlotte offered. Michaela raised an eyebrow.

"Charlotte?"

"She's heard ya loud and clear, I'm sure, but she ain't convinced is she?" Michaela shook her head.

"Well, if she's here for a while, ya gotta prove to her that he's the right man for ya. Prove her wrong. If she can't accept it, well that ain't your problem."

"Sully and I have nothing to prove. Mother's just being stubborn," Michaela seethed. "Thank God for Rebecca. I don't think I could survive this visit without her here." Charlotte smiled.

"You're gonna be alright. You're just startin' out, Dr. Mike. Now, you go on and be with your family. I'm gonna rest here, and you send mine up."

"I will," Michaela replied. She smiled and squeezed the older woman's hand before heading out to find the Cooper children, her heart heavy and wishing that her mother could understand how important Sully was to her.

February 1830 – Boston

"Mother, I don't want to go with this…this Josef Quinn," Elizabeth remarked, as her mother finished straightening the loose curls in her daughter's hair. "I've never even met him! I want to go with Stephen!"

"Stephen's no good for you. His uncle is in prison and his parents…well, they don't see one another very often, and they live in the same house. I don't want you conversing with that boy again. He's no good for you. I've told you time and time again. If you marry into that family, only heartache will follow."

"You don't know anything, Mother," Elizabeth said softly, brushing tears out of her eyes. "I love him."

"Oh, silly girl," she said, spinning the girl around the look into her eyes. "Mark my words, young lady. Josef Quinn is going to make you happy, keep you wealthy, and give you beautiful children to carry on your legacy. You are a beautiful, smart young woman, Elizabeth, and Josef Quinn is a good match.

"Stephen wishes to marry me," Elizabeth whispered. She fluttered over to her desk and pulled a small box out, opening it up. "He's given me a ring and asked me to think on it. I want to tell him yes, Mother." Elizabeth's mother's hand drew out like a claw and snatched the box from her.

"You will tell him no! If you know what is best for you, you'll tell him no and let Josef court you."

"I love Stephen, Mother! You don't understand!"

"I understand, Elizabeth. I understand, but these days, marriage is less about love than anything. You'll see someday, Elizabeth. You'll see."