January 1871 – Outside of Colorado Springs
Sully and Michaela had settled down upon a large tree stump, watching Johnny and Mary take turns with a canteen of water. They had stopped in an area where the snow was melted a little, and the horses were grazing and getting a healthy drink of water.
"You up to startin' back home soon?" Sully asked, wrapping his arm around her waist. She leaned her head on his shoulder for a moment and nodded. She was getting the initial warning signs of a headache, and she was looking forward to getting back to town.
"Yes," she breathed. "I'm just tired."
"Sun'll be goin' down soon." Michaela nodded and took a deep breath, listening to the calming sounds of Winter and wishing that she was curled up someplace warm with a cup of tea, her favorite book of poems, and Sully. "What…what did you and Johnny talk about earlier?" She smiled a little, wanting to tell him more than anything, but she knew that it was something best kept private between her and the boy. She knew that Sully wouldn't mind, but she wasn't certain of how Johnny would feel about his father knowing.
"Let's just say that I think we have his full blessing," Michaela said with a smile. Sully gently touched her knee and gave it a gentle squeeze. She took his hand into her lap and gently began running her fingers over the back of it, feeling the blood coursing through his veins and the strength that he possessed. She sighed softly. "He's a good boy, Sully. He reminds me so much of you."
"I'm a good boy?" he asked. Michaela couldn't help but laugh out loud, as his hand squeezed hers. Johnny and Mary looked over curiously, and when Michaela lowered her blushing face, they went back to drinking from the canteen and filling it with fresh water from the stream.
"You're…you're…"
"I'm what?" he asked, watching her shoulders shake from the laughter. He rubbed her back, feeling the vibrations of her stifled laughter shaking through her body. He loved the way her nose crinkled when she laughed, and he loved the way she smiled so big and bright.
"I don't think there is a perfect word to describe you, Byron Sully," she finally decided. She looked up, and he saw the redness in her cheeks dissipating, so he made a move to kiss her cheek.
"I've missed ya," he said quietly, the warmth of his words tickling the flesh of her cheek and her ear. She shivered uncontrollably, and she only wished they were tucked away somewhere warm together…alone.
"Me too," she breathed, as he dared to caress her lips with his own. A tremble started in her body and evaporated into his, causing them both to warm and feel those familiar longings. Michaela stared at him, waiting for his eyes to meet hers, and she saw such yearning in his movements. When his eyes slowly turned up to hers, her smile and faded, but so much joy still lay in her eyes.
"I…I wanna…" For the first time in a while, he struggled with the words. He wanted to be with her. He wanted to hold her, love her, and feel her love.
She shuddered, as he gently pressed her hand to his heart. She could feel it. She knew.
"Me too," she whispered almost inaudibly, as his lips claimed hers again. It was almost too hard to pull away, because these moments were few and far between these days. But, to hold one another and to be so close…so close…it meant more than either of them could ever explain.
They were captivated with one another, as hazel and olive stared into crystal and blue. He reached out and stroked her blushing cheek, and as he was leaning in again, a shriek from Mary came reverberating off of the trees. Michaela and Sully both jumped up and started over to the stream. They noticed Johnny holding onto her hand, pulling her to safety.
"She almost fell in," he breathed. "Got too close." Mary's little heart was beating a mile a minute, and her eyes were as big as silver dollars.
"Sweetheart, are you alright?" Michaela asked, quickly pulling the girl into her arms.
"I'm ok," she promised. "I didn't fall in. Johnny saved me." Sully put his hand on his son's shoulder, proud that he'd been watching after her. Michaela's brow creased with worry.
"Well, we should get back to town before anything else happens," Michaela concluded. "Are you sure you're alright?"
"I'm fine, Aunt Michaela," Mary assured her. "I didn't even get my shoes wet." Michaela sighed and decided to believe the child, so she took her hand and led her to the horses. Johnny looked up at Sully.
"Ya did good, Johnny," Sully said with a proud nod. Johnny smiled up at his father; his role model, and they started back to their horses.
January 1871 – Colorado Springs
"Where you been?" Carrie asked, as Daniel walked into the room. She had managed to dress herself while he was gone, and the gown she'd been wearing was folded neatly on the chair beside her bed.
"I was helpin' Robert E. at the livery," he announced. Carrie nodded.
"Well, it won't be long before we move on," she pointed out.
"Ya really don't wanna stay?" Carrie sighed.
"I think I could live here, but I just never sit still long enough to make roots." Daniel shook his head.
"Me neither, but I figure…if I sell the ranch and all my livestock in Nevada, I could get enough money to build a homestead out here. It'd be a nice piece of land…plenty of plantin' room." Carried eyed him. Was he being presumptuous? Was he about to start making plans for a family that would never exist? Was he out of his mind?
"Well, that's good for you, Mr. Simon," she said with a smirk. "But what's that got to do with me?" Daniel's eyes shimmered.
"Everything." Carrie's eyes flashed into his for a moment, and before she could speak, a pounding on the door downstairs sounded, and Daniel stood up. "I'll be right back." She nodded, and Daniel left the room. As he headed down the stairs, the pounding got louder, so he shouted out. "Just a minute!" Once he reached the door, he turned the knob, opened it, and his eyes grew wide in surprise. "Tommy?"
"Hey, Danny Boy!" Tommy said with a hearty chuckle, reaching around and slapping him on the back. "Don't look so surprised. You're the one that sent for me."
"I…I just didn't expect to see ya, is all."
"Why not? My baby girl's sick. I came as soon as I could."
"Well, I just figured that…well…" He shifted uncomfortably. "She's upstairs."
"She ok?"
"She's doin' better than she was. She gets kinda emotional sometimes, so be careful." Tommy nodded slowly, gently running his hand over his stubble-covered chin. "Just be careful. She was real…real upset when ya left. She just…she needs ya, but she's hurtin'."
"Ya know…she's like her mother, she is. She tries to be strong, but ya always know when somethin' is wrong. I never been good with emotions. I never been good with understandin' women. Her ma…well, I loved her. I loved her more'n anything. She reminds me of her, ya know?"
"She looks like her?"
"Naw. She looks like me," Tommy pointed out. "But she's just as stubborn as her ma ever was." He shook his head. "I only wish I hadn't gone and left her. That wasn't right of me. She needed me in St. Louis." Daniel only nodded.
"What matters is that you're here now. Go on up." Tommy nodded, and the fear in his eyes spread throughout his body, causing him to shake with worry. "Don't worry. No matter what, you're still her pa."
Tommy exhaled. "Yeah." He started up the stairs, afraid of looking at her again; afraid of seeing his failure in her eyes. He was afraid of seeing her mother's disappointment there. God, what had he done? How could he have let his daughter hurt so much for so long? He should have known better than to raise her the way he had. He never should have taken over that cattle drive after his pa died. He should have settled down and raised her proper. But, regrets were getting him nowhere.
When his knuckles tapped on the closed door, he heard her voice calling him in.
"Ya don't have to knock, Daniel," she stressed. But, when the door opened, the sight before her was one she hadn't expected. "Pa!" She wanted to move, but she was frozen in place. "What…what are you doin' here?"
"Daniel tried his best to get a hold of me, and when he finally did…I came as soon as I could." Carrie's eyes were already clouded over with tears, but she was determined not to cry.
"I…I can't believe you're here." Tommy slowly closed the door and took off his hat, holding it tensely between his hands.
"Danny…he…well, when he sent for me…he said ya needed me." Carrie could have easily been angry about that, but she knew he'd had her best interest at heart.
"He did," she said quietly.
"I didn't know if ya wanted me here after…after St. Louis."
"Ya just left," she said quietly.
"I thought it was best for ya. Ya deserved better than that cattle drive," Tommy said gently, sitting down in the chair beside her bed. She stared at him, her eyes welling with heavy tears. "I thought it'd be better for ya if ya stayed with Danny."
"What made ya think so?" Tommy looked down at his hands. "Pa?"
"I promised your ma…a long time ago…I promised her I'd take care of ya. I promised her I'd never let ya hurt, and look what's happened. God, Carrie, look what's happened to ya. You're lyin' in this bed…and…"
"I'm fine now, Pa," she said gently. "The doctor did a real good job."
"That ain't the point, Carrie! Ya know that. You should hate me for what I did to you!" Carrie looked away.
"It wasn't your fault."
"Like hell it wasn't. Carrie, the day your ma…well, when she was gone, I promised myself, and I promised you…I wouldn't lose ya like I lost her."
"Ma died, Pa. She was sick. She was…" Tommy hung his head in shame. "Ya ain't gonna lose me like that, but ya gotta trust that I'm all grown up now. I can do things for myself. I took care of myself."
"I heard…terrible things, Carrie. I heard talk after I left St. Louis. Talk from the fellas…and…" Carrie brushed away a fallen tear. "Why didn't ya tell me?"
"I handled it just fine on my own," she wavered.
"I don't call getting pregnant when you're thirteen handlin' it fine at all!" He saw the pain and shame in her eyes, and he softened his voice guiltily. "Ya never told me who did that to you. Ya protected him." She shook her head.
"No!"
"Yes ya did. You was hurtin', but ya protected him."
"I was protectin' you!" Tommy sat back in his chair, watching her, as she brushed the flooding tears away. "I didn't want ya to be ashamed of me. Pa, I didn't even know his name. He was…he was quiet. He didn't talk much, and I…" She now hung her own head in shame. "He was gone 'fore I knew the baby was on its way." She felt the past settling into her veins, pumping grief and agony and pain. "And when it was over…I lost myself."
January 1863
"Let me hold my baby! Let me hold…please! I want my baby," she cried, as she lay in an uncomfortable cot in the early hours of the morning. "Please just let me…please!" Her words became garbled into sobs, and she choked, coughing and reaching, screaming for her child.
"I'm sorry, Miss James," the doctor, a rough-looking older man with kind eyes spoke with certainty. "There's nothing we can do. It's too early."
"No!" she cried. "That baby…he's all I have. All I have. Please!" Her heart wanted to stop beating at those words. "Please. Let me hold him…let me." The doctor slowly stood and walked over to the basket he'd paced the swaddled child in. Carrie had never seen a human being so small before. She couldn't stop reaching. "My baby. Let me hold him."
"I'm not sure this is a good idea. It's not…it's not what you'd expect."
"I don't care! Give me my baby!" A young woman acting as his nurse turned her back, trying to hide the tears she shed for the young mother. The doctor looked down at the lifeless form in his arms. Finally deciding with his heart, he placed it in her arms. She began to tremble, as she felt the almost weightless being lie limp in her arms. She closed her eyes tightly, unable to look anymore. She couldn't. She could only hold that baby and know that for a few seconds, she had been a mother.
"I'll take the child now," he said, reaching for it, but she clung to her baby. She couldn't let go.
"Is it a boy? A girl? It felt like a boy," she cried. He looked down, shuffling his feet uncomfortably.
"It was a boy."
January 1871 – Colorado Springs
Before sunset, Michaela and Sully came riding into town with Johnny and Mary, and Michaela had never seen her mother run so fast, as she came bustling over toward the livery.
"Where on Earth have you been!" she demanded. Michaela dismounted her horse, and Robert E. took her back to stable her.
"You knew where we were, Mother, and we said we would be back before dark." Michaela pointed toward the semi-light sky.
"Hi Grandma!" Mary exclaimed, as Sully lifted her from his horse and handed her to Michaela. Michaela put her down on the ground, and Mary came over to hug Elizabeth.
"Oh, my dear, let me look at you! Are you alright?"
"I had so much fun, Grandma! I want to go back!"
"Honestly, Mother? Did you think we wouldn't keep an eye on her?" Michaela asked, placing her hand on her hips. "She was perfectly safe."
"That depends on your definition of 'safe,' Michaela."
"I am a doctor, Mother. You can trust me."
"Sometimes I don't know where your head is at."
"That makes us even," Michaela replied shortly, not in the mood for her mother's games. She stood by and watched as Sully and Johnny dismounted and let Robert E. stable their horses.
"I'm taking Mary to her mother. We'll see you tomorrow." Michaela only nodded, and Elizabeth walked off. Michaela turned to Sully and shook her head.
"Sometimes I wonder why my mother acts the way she does. She loved my father when she married him, yet she doesn't believe that love is enough." She shook her head.
"Well, your ma wasn't as…enlightened as you when she got married," Sully pointed out. Michaela's cheeks flushed in the dusk.
"Sully!" she laughed, as Johnny came sauntering out of the corral.
"I'm tired, Pa. Can we go home now?" Sully laughed at his son's directness.
"You go on to the mercantile. I'll be there in a couple minutes." Johnny nodded.
"G'night, Dr. Mike!"
"Goodnight, Johnny," she said with a smile, as he rushed off to the mercantile. Sully turned back to Michaela and took her in his arms.
"I wanna see ya tonight," he admitted, too tired to skirt around the issue. Michaela nodded and lowered her head, thinking of her options.
"So do I," she breathed, letting him pull her in a little bit, shielding their bodies from the cold breeze. But, when she felt her head begin to swim, her face fell, and Sully slowly let go of her.
"What's the matter?"
"I…I'm just…I'm not certain. I think it's been a long day." She swallowed hard, feeling terrible. "I need to check on Carrie anyway. I…I'll see you in the morning?" Sully nodded, and he eyed her cautiously.
"Michaela…"
"I'm fine. It's nothing, really. I'll make some tea and rest after I've checked on Carrie." He thought for a moment and came up with an idea.
"Want me to come keep you company?"
"You don't have to. Really," she assured him.
"I want to," he replied, taking her hand in his, kissing her knuckles softly. "After I put Johnny to bed, I'll come sit with ya for a while." Michaela had to admit that she liked that idea, so she nodded her head. "I'll see ya in a bit?" She nodded and kissed his cheek. Their eyes met, and their fingers laced together for a moment, a strong surge of knowledge and desire flowing between them. Finally, they broke apart, and Michaela hurried over toward the clinic.
Sully watched her disappear inside, before he turned and started toward the depot, hoping that Horace wouldn't mind sending out a last-minute telegram.
February 1830 - Boston
"I wish I didn't have to see them," Elizabeth said quietly, as she placed her hands in her lap.
"They are your family, darling," Stephen said, placing an arm around her waist, as the carriage pulled them closer and closer to home.
"I know, but they don't approve."
"Well, it's not their decision to make, Elizabeth. We're married now. We're on our own." He smiled. "We'll move to New York in a few months, but until then…" She flashed her eyes toward him, studying his features.
"What?"
"Well, I spoke with my father this morning, as I went to pick up a copy of the Globe, and he's offered to let us stay in our country house." Elizabeth's eyes widened at the thought. His parents preferred to spend summers out in a cottage rather than deal with the hustle and bustle of city life, and Elizabeth knew how secluded and intimate it was.
"Stephen, you're joking!"
"I swear," he said shaking his head.
"That's wonderful!" she exclaimed. "Just think, Stephen! We could…we could start our family out there." She smiled, as his hand squeezed hers, and she leaned against him for the duration of the ride. She couldn't believe how her life was beginning to turn out just as she had wanted it. She was married to the man she loved, she was about to start a new life in a new place, and she was blissfully happy. The only downfall to all of it was telling her mother. She would never get her blessing, but she could at least try to make peace with her.
As the carriage pulled up in front of the house, Stephen helped her out, and they made their way up the steps to the door. Elizabeth felt faint already, but his hand claimed hers, and he gave a heavy knock. Elizabeth was surprised when her mother answered the door herself, tears in her eyes.
"Mother," Elizabeth said softly.
"Elizabeth! Where have you been? We've been worried to death!" Elizabeth glanced up at her new husband, and he cleared his throat. "And what are you doing here?" Stephen went to speak, but Elizabeth spoke first.
"We were married last night, Mother," Elizabeth spoke up. Victoria looked into her daughter's firm gaze.
"Married? You couldn't possibly have…"
"It's true." Elizabeth held out her hand to produce the ring to her mother's sight.
"God, no," she said softly, shaking her head. "What have you done? You've made a…a fool of this entire family!" Elizabeth was taken aback by her mother's words. "He's going to give you nothing, Elizabeth. Nothing!"
"That's not true!" Elizabeth insisted. "Why can't you accept that I love him?" Victoria shook her head abrasively.
"Love? The first man who ever said he loved me proved it by marrying my sister, Elizabeth. Love means nothing!" Elizabeth wanted to speak again, but the next thing she saw was the door slamming in her face, and then her heart broke. She looked up at Stephen, and he swallowed hard.
"Don't worry," he whispered.
"I'm…I don't know what to say."
"Don't say anything," he breathed. "Just come home with me. We have each other now." Elizabeth smiled bitter sweetly at the comfort of his words. She could prove her mother wrong. She was going to prove that love could last. He was going to make her happy, and they could live comfortably for the rest of their lives. Who cared if he didn't have as much money as her family? Who cared? Love was more important. Love was what mattered most.
January 1871 – Colorado Springs
Michaela stepped out into the cool night, wrapping her coat tightly around her body. She saw Sully coming out of the mercantile, and she smiled a little, walking over.
"Everything alright?"
"Much better," she replied. "I…I didn't feel very welcome in my own clinic though. Carrie's father is here."
"Tommy?" Sully asked with surprise. She nodded.
"I suppose that's his name. Carrie was emotional, but she insisted that her father stay. They're…they're both…"
"They need to talk," Sully announced. Michaela nodded her head, and Sully wrapped an arm around her.
"Well, I'd say we could go talk at the mercantile, but my room's…well, it's occupied."
"What?"
"Miss Olive must've decided not to go to the ranch tonight. She was sleepin' when I went up to go to bed." Michaela smiled a little. "I told Johnny I was gonna come talk to you, and he knows Olive's there if he needs somethin'."
"How very coincidental, Mr. Sully," Michaela said with a smile, as he tucked his hands against hers, and their fingers locked together.
"I know a place we can talk," Sully said with a nod.
"Where would that be?" Michaela asked. A grin spread across his face.
"It's a surprise. But, we'll walk. C'mon." Michaela was a little uncertain about his idea, but the trust she felt for him won over everything else, and she squeezed his hand firmly before following him blindly into the night, letting her cares scatter to the winds for just a little while.
"You?"
"It's me. I'm the only one your maid could find."
"I didn't expect…"
"It's no time for memories, my dear. Where is he?"
"Just through there."
"I'll…"
"Please. Please tell me you'll do what you can?"
"I'll do everything I can."