Keep You

It was early in the morning when Logan got the call; waking him up with a shrill ringing in his ear. At first he had endeavored to ignore it, but when the annoying buzz turned to a sappy chick song he cursed and rolled over to grab the phone and accept the incoming call. Though at this point, the mutant was about ready to break the nasty technology instead.

"Who the hell is this," he grumbled, still half asleep.

". . . L-Logan. . ."

Instantly Logan was awake, his eyes opening and his brow furrowing. "Jena? What's wrong?"

Though the woman had only said his name, her tone had told the infamous Wolverine that something bad had happened. The bouncy broad as Logan had taken to mentally calling her, sounded as if she had been crying and there was despair in her usually bright voice.

"L-Logan, I don't know what to do. . . I-" the usually eloquent woman stopped, unable to continue, and Logan knew then that it was serious. Without taking the phone from his ear, he quickly slid out of bed and began to hurriedly get dressed.

"Stay with me, bub. Don't hang up, alright. Tell me where you are? I'm comin' to get you."

"I-I'm outside the gate."

Logan stopped moving. "What gate?"

"Y-Your gate."

Wolverine, finally having pulled his jeans on successfully, opened his bedroom door and entered out into the main part of Professor X's school where students were already going to breakfast before their first classes began. Rushing out past the entrance of the mammoth building, he moved towards the gate at the far end of the courtyard.

"Geez, kid. How long have you been out here?"

"About an hour... I didn't want to bother y-you."

Logan pulled the gate open with his free hand, and let his eyes wander until he spotted Jena. He approached her slowly, as one might a wild animal, seeing as he had no idea how she'd react and didn't wish to startle her.
Jena wore baggy sweats and a T-Shirt; her hair was matted and in a nasty tangle; her face was deathly pale and sickly. The only true color that lined her face was her red eyes that showed just how much she had been crying. All in all, the woman was a wreck.

Logan hung up the call, and placed his phone in his pocket before he finally drew close enough to Jena to speak to her.

"It takes more than a phone call and visit to bother me, kid," he said with a soft smile, his old nickname for the woman coming out tender despite how gruff the man was. He had known Jena Flint for quite a few years now, and there were few that he cared for more.

"L-Logan," Jena whispered pitifully, before she dove at him, catching the Wolverine by surprise. As she clung to him and once more began to sob, the man gently wrapped his arms around her- trying to channel some comfort to her, though it was something he had never been able to do well. After sometime, Logan lifted her chin, making her look him in square in the eyes before asking the question that had been eating at him.

"What happened?"

Jena's face contorted in absolute pain as she replied, "I just murdered my own child."

I sat alone, the fresh evening air chilling me as I listened to the birds singing in the trees on the grounds of the Professor's school for gifted youngsters. I was wrapped up tight in a blanket and beanie, only my eyes and nose poking out for other's eyes to see. I hadn't been outside long at all, but already I was wishing to go back inside and crawl into my bed to cry some more.

It had been nearly a month since I had left Tony and aborted my pregnancy, and yet the sorrow was still killing me. With every breath my chest felt as if it was going to cave in on itself, and with every moment I was awake I felt the jaws of longing chomp down on me. Every second I thought about what I had lost; every day I missed my man more. . . But Tony wasn't my man. Not anymore.

"Want me to go break his chops?"

I instantly moved my eyes way from the trees to see Logan taking a seat next to me on the bench I was inhabiting. I shook my head as he looked at me steadily, answering his question with the gesture.

For the 4 weeks I had stayed at the school, Logan had been with me every step of the way. He wasn't the best when it came to emotional displays, but he had supported me through the brunt of it and I had never been more grateful for a friend in my entire life. Though I had other friendships that counted for a lot, I knew for a fact that I couldn't have gone to anyone else who would have dealt with it as well. Logan, as gruff and manly as he was, had been perfect. I couldn't have gotten through the first days without him.

As the seconds ticked by, I shifted one of my hands from underneath the blanket and reached out for Logan. When I had his larger hand firmly pressed in mine, he broke the silence once more.

"You sure you want to go back, kid."

"I got nowhere else to go, Logan," I said quietly.

"You can always stay here," the man said, giving me a 'duh' expression. "You're a mutant just like everybody else here. And the Professor invited you; it doesn't get much more official than that."

"I know. But I have to go back to the Tower. . . it's my home. I have to make things right. . .somehow."

Logan shrugged, "Fine, but you know where to come if you need a way out."

I smiled weakly, "That I do."

For several breaths I thought that Logan was going to perhaps walk away from me, to return to the warmth of the school. But instead he shifted in his leather jacket and asked me a question that had cold dread coursing through my veins.

"So, you gonna tell him when you go back?"

"Why," I asked, turning to regard him with dead eyes. "So his life can be ruined as mine was?"

"Well he screwed up too," Logan said. "He outta take responsibility for it."

At his bluntness, I cringed slightly, and Logan immediately cursed under his breath running a hand through his hair. "Look, Jena, I'm sorry-"

"You have nothing to be sorry for," I cut him off gently, with no malice in my tone despite how desolate I was feeling. "It was my mistake. . . I killed my baby when I should have been strong enough to keep it. . . I should have been strong enough to not need Tony. . . There's no one to blame but me."

"That's bullshit." Logan's grip on my hand tightened substantially. "Stark should have been there for you, instead of running off to get his hands on another chick while you suffered. This is on him for not manning up."

"He found someone else, Logan," I said brokenly. "I wasn't good enough, as a lover or as a friend, and now I'm paying the price."

"You can't believe that. He was the one who hurt you, and it was his choice. It had nothing to do with you, kid!"

I felt a sad smile creep to my lips. "Exactly, Logan. It never had anything to do with me. It was always about Tony and Elizabeth."

Logan sighed in frustration, but stopped trying to change my mind, though after a moment he shook his head. "Ya know he's worried about you."

I looked at him, confused. "What?"

"Stark," the gruff man clarified. "He's been texting me for updates ever since you disappeared from Avengers' Tower."

I felt my heart rise in my throat, choking me as wretched hope filled my senses. "He has?"

"Yep," Logan shrugged. "Perhaps he reconsidered this bimbo he was with. But no matter what he has decided, you should tell him kid. It was his child too, and you were his woman. This needs to be settled between the two of you before you lose anything else."

Logan was right, of course. Though I was afraid to face the pain head on, I couldn't live the rest of my life in this deathly slump. I still had things to live for, people to help; and I wouldn't let this be the end of me.

"Will you drop me off at the Tower tomorrow?"

Logan nodded as he pulled a cigar out from his jacket, "Sure, kid. And I'll stay nearby until I know you're doing okay."

"Thank you, Logan."

He lit the cigar and took in the first puff, looking at me sincerely. "And if you can't handle it or it doesn't end well, you know I'm here for you, right?"

I nodded with several tears in my eyes, placing a hand to my belly with a sad sigh, "Yeah, like my personal knight in shining armor."

Though Logan snorted at the comparison I could see the heart he tried to hide, and it comforted me. Because I knew that no matter what happened with Tony I wouldn't be alone.

I felt as if I had walked through a solid barrier of memories as I entered the main floor of the Tower, my suitcases and purse in hand. Though I had only been gone a month it felt like an entire lifetime had passed. Though nothing had really changed it was a whole new world, the atmosphere that had once seemed so natural now felt forced and cramped. I was being smothered, but I refused to let it cripple me.

I had phoned ahead- luckily Steve had been the one to answer- saying that I was coming back. But now as I stared at the assembled Avengers, I wished that I had surprised them. The entire team stood at attention- with the exception of Tony- welcoming the wayward woman back, and I had to endure the biggest group hug of my life. Though when the sweet Thunderer Thor planted a great kiss to my forehead and offered me one of his treasured pop tarts I couldn't help but be glad I had returned. I had missed this dysfunctional family, and though I didn't know how it would work out, I was glad I was able to see them again. The welcoming party lasted for several hours- most of which was everyone asking me questions of where I'd been and why I'd left (something that I refused to answer truthfully) and eating pizza- before Natasha finally pulled me away to get me settled. As we entered an empty bedroom that would now be mine, the female assassin broke the silence that had fallen over us.

"Tony's on his way back from a mission, Jena."

I looked at her with a face that I know was far from impassive. "Why would that matter to me?"

"Because you're here to try and win him back."

"No. I'm here to set things straight."

"Why did you wait so long," Natasha asked as she dumped the contents of my suitcases on the bed, and then put the empty bags in the closet. "Tony's been worried about you; we all have."

"Because I wasn't ready," I said, turning away from the woman to regain my composure before the memories of that horrible night once more haunted my weary mind. "I needed time to center myself, and now that I have I'm here to make things right."

Natasha's brilliant eyes studied me for several long moments, her eyes wandering over my entire body before her expression softened. "It was more than just a simple break-up wasn't it?"

"Yes . . . it was."

Natasha nodded her head once before she placed a encouraging hand on my shoulder, "Freshen up; and knock him dead one way or the other."

"Goodnight, Nat."

"Goodnight, Jena." And without another word Natasha left me alone, to get ready for the second confrontation with the man I loved.

It was a half an hour later that I exited my room and walked back towards the main floor, though as I did I decided to stop for a small detour. It took me several minutes, but as I came to a halt in front of Tony's lab I knew that it had been worth it. With a bittersweet smile I looked at the place where I had spent so many hours- even before I had become romantically involved with the billionaire. To most it would have seemed like an expensive cyber-haven with more tools and parts than a person would ever need, but to me it was home. I had laughed and cried and lived here, it was the place that I had first realized I loved Tony, and it was the place we had been when he had finally asked me to be his girl.

I doubted that I still had access, but I couldn't help but raise my forefinger and type in the code I knew by heart. To my complete surprise the door opened and Jarvis greeted me.

"Welcome, Miss Flint."

"Hey Jarvis," I said, fighting back tears, before I took a hesitant step deeper into the lab. It was cluttered in a clean sort of way, and I smiled as the familiar screens came into view. I had never been much of a technologically inclined person, but Tony had always tried to share things with me when I hung out with him, so I had picked up some things here and there. I had always loved to watch Tony work, and had spent countless hours of countless days sitting in the corner, writing and reading and enjoying his company. I let my eyes graze that corner, and fought back a sob when I saw that my chair was still there and had my notebook atop it. . .

"When you didn't take it with you, I knew you'd come back."

I turned around so quickly that it left me a bit dizzy, but I didn't have time to stop, as the voice I had so longed to hear flooded over me. As the cadence hit me, a soft gasp flew from me and I crumpled to the floor. I had wanted to be brave and hold my ground when I faced him, but as Tony approached me I could only cry harder. Every feeling and memory I had been trying to repress attacked me, and I aimlessly tried to bat them away.

The first kiss we had ever shared, our first date- playing Smash Bros and Mario Kart for hours and laughing hysterically when we beat each other, the first time I had told Tony the truth about myself (my powers) and how instead of running away he had said I was perfect as I was. . .

The moment he had admitted that he loved me, and we'd stayed up all night together kissing and caressing. . . .

. . . And the moment he had told me he loved someone else.

Now as I cried mixed tears, I felt two strong arms encase me and I was whole for the first time since I had left that night. Though we had fallen apart before then, I had still thought he loved me .. . I had still had hope.

"Oh baby-girl, why didn't you tell me? Why did you run?"

The questions took me by surprise, and I looked up with blurry eyes to see Tony looking down at me. I wanted to look away, but I had missed him so much that I couldn't. He was really here, holding me, and I felt my broken heart shudder with feeling. He somehow knew. But I refused to talk about my dead baby.

"I couldn't stand it," I whimpered, burying my face in his chest, taking slighted comfort in the reactor's glow, as I referred to running away from the Tower. "I was betrayed by the man I loved and a woman that I had known since childhood. .. and I'd lost it all in the same moment. . . It was too much."

Though I couldn't see Tony's face, his brown eyes were currently shining with countless emotions, one of which being surprise.

". . . You knew Liz from before?"

"We went to high-school together," I said with a shaky laugh. "We were friends, and though we went different paths after graduation we've stayed in touch. When she moved to this city I began seeing her more often. And about three months before our last conversation, I saw her talking with you at a charity. At the time I thought it was merely because she was an actress and you were funding the film she was in. . . The next day when I went to lunch with her, she didn't say a word about you. . . So I pushed my jealousy aside, thinking I was silly to question an innocent encounter. But now I know that it was silly of me to ignore it."

Tony was still for a breath before he pulled me away, looking at me with a pained expression (something that I had never seen him wear in all the years that I had known him).

"Why didn't you tell me?" His tone was soft, but the hurt behind it was clear. "Why didn't you come to me with this? It was my kid too. I would have supported you both, I would have helped you get through it, Jenny."

A wistful, shattered sounding sob shook my entire body as I convulsed. "You'd just told me that you loved someone else, Tony . . . and I d-didn't want to ruin your happiness."

"Oh, Jena," he pulled me close again, and to my despair I felt a wet drop fall on my head. Tony was crying now too.

"How did you find out," I wondered as I felt another of his tears land on me.

"Your buddy Logan finally got sick of the texts I'd been spamming him with, and told me where I could go and why I could go there."

I would have been angry by this news, if I wasn't so relieved. Bless Logan and his foul, blunt mouth. I knew now that I wouldn't have had the heart to tell Tony about the abortion. There was just too much history here, and I was too caught up in it.

"I'm sorry that I wasn't there for you, babe. I should have been." Tony's tears had stopped falling now, but I knew that he was still emotional, and I gave him a small smile that I found that I could give sincerely.

"It's in the past now, Tony. I made the choice, and though I now wish I hadn't I cannot go back and change it. And it's better now, anyway. . . Now there's nothing tying you to me; you're free."

"Jena-" Tony began, but I interrupted, my sentiments unfinished. I had come here to say this, and now that I had him here, I knew that I couldn't hope any longer. Tony belonged to someone else now, and I couldn't keep him. I had to let him go.

"I know you love Liz," I said, reaching out to cup his face with my hand, reminiscing about all the times I had done so when we were together. "I know because I remember how it feels to be yours, and I know that it is a precious thing. I knew when we first got together that I could never strap you down- it's against everything about you Tony- and I accepted that. . . I'm happy for you and Liz; though I'm broken over it. . . I want one of us to leave this without scars; I want at least one of us to be happy."

"I loved you Jena," Tony said after several long moments of silence. "And no matter what, there will always be a spot for you in this old ticker. If you ever need anything, it's yours."

As he pointed to his reactor, I bent my head and repeated the gesture to my own heart, "Thank you. And I'll keep you in here, Tony Stark. No matter what."

As the two of us shared another wistful smile and hug, I felt the first signs of peace begin to wash over me. And I felt my broken heart begin to beat again, as I held Tony and let myself let go of the pain. It wasn't perfect, it wasn't happy, but it was enough. And I wouldn't have given up this newest memory for anything in the world.