Chapter 51

January 1871 – Colorado Springs

When Sully tapped on the door of the clinic, he expected that his future wife would answer with a smile on her face. At least, that's what he wanted. He wanted to know that only good news had come from the doctor, whatever that news might be. But, when he didn't receive an answer, he turned the knob, finding that it wasn't locked. Slowly, he opened up the door and peeked inside. He was surprised to find her sitting at her desk with her elbows propped on the desktop, while her hands covered her face. His heart fell. In an instant, his hopes and dreams of the future were being dangled over a cliff on a fraying rope.

"Michaela?" he asked, softly shutting the door behind him. He stood still, however, and he waited to proceed with caution. The sound of his voice was startling and soothing at the same time.

"Sully," she said quietly, removing her hands from her face and looking over at him, her eyes wet with tears of doubt, and her cheeks streaked with red. Sully felt the lump rise in his throat. In an instant, every possible scenario he could think of flashed through his mind. All he knew at that moment was that he would move Heaven and Earth to keep her with him.

"Oh God. What is it?" Suddenly, he broke out of the invisible chains that held him in place at the door, and he rushed to her desk, kneeling at the side of her chair. He took her hand in his. "What is it? What'd the doctor say?"

"Sully, I…" she whispered, blinking the tears away, but they only continued to flow in an unyielding river of confusion and anxiety.

"What is it? What'd he say?" His heart was breaking in two as he watched her fight an internal battle. He could feel her heart yearning to tell him, yet she was terrified of saying it aloud. He couldn't lose her. He couldn't bare the thought of not looking into those endless oceans of hazel and emerald and seeing the purest heart he'd ever known. He couldn't bear not having the connection he felt with her from day to day. Being with her made him feel complete, and he'd spent too much time away from her. He couldn't let her go. But he had to be strong for her. He had to be there through everything.

"I don't know how," she breathed finally, taking a shaky breath. Sully swallowed hard, unable to get rid of that lump. He gently framed her face with his hands.

"Look at me," he urged, and she did. "In sickness and in health, right?" She slowly nodded her head. He was right. She had to tell him. She had to let him know that their lives were changed forever.

"Sully, I'm still not certain," she breathed. "I don't know how to tell you."

"Just tell me. I can take it, Michaela. Whatever it is, we're gonna get through it together." She nodded her head.

"Yes," she said softly, drying her tears. His hands slowly fell from her face.

How was she supposed to tell him? How was she supposed to tell the man that she loved more than life itself that their choices had led to an unplanned, out-of-wedlock pregnancy? Even more, how was she supposed to tell him that this child was something she wanted very much, and she felt that they had done nothing wrong?

"Sully," she finally repeated, taking his hands in hers. "Dr. Bernard was very thorough." She tried her best to sound professional, hoping that would make it easier.

"Hey, hey. It's just me. Just tell me. Just…just say it. What is it? What's wrong?" Closing her eyes, she sought her words, and when she opened them back up, they stared into the calming orbs of crystal oceans that she had stared into many times before. He was her haven. He was the place she disappeared into when she had no place else to turn to. Right now, he was exactly what she needed. He was her best friend and her lover. She could tell him anything, and the thought of that gave her strength and courage to reveal their future to him.

"Sully, we're having…we're having a baby." The words dropped from her mouth like solid lead onto the wooden floorboards. Sully's entire form went rigid at the news. "I'm pregnant." Her eyes cast downward; she was uncertain of his reaction, but she knew that he was going to be there for her no matter what. Her hands tightened in his. Neither spoke for several minutes, as the clocked ticked the minutes by, and they stood frozen in the moment.

The first to make a sound was Sully, who let a long, slow breath out, melting the ice that had formed around their intimate revelation. He blinked once and opened his eyes to really look into hers, but she was looking down at their joined hands, afraid to move or breathe or speak.

When she began to tremble, he slowly pulled his arms around her, and she collapsed against him, sinking out of the chair and onto the floor in his arms. They held one another, leaning against the desk with awestruck looks upon their faces.

"It wasn't supposed to be this way," she finally whispered, letting fresh, hot tears cascade down her face. They soaked against his shirt, but he didn't mind, and he pulled her closer. But, when he realized he could be hurting her, he eased his grip. "It's alright. Please, hold me." The fear and vulnerability in her voice in that moment shook him completely, and he wasn't prepared for whatever was to happen next.

So many thoughts and complications ran through Sully's mind, and he held her trembling form against his own. What were they going to do? The only thing he could think of was of what Michaela had on stake. She had her career in Colorado Springs to think about and her bond with her mother. Sully knew in his heart that things would be more difficult for Michaela than ever, and at that moment, his thoughts spilled forth from his lips, offering up the only solution that he could think of.

"We'll get married," he promised. "Right away." Michaela pulled back from his embrace, and that was something Sully hadn't expected.

"You…you want to get married now?" she asked quietly, her eyes searching his. "Sully, I…I don't know what to say."

"We can get married today. We can have your family there, and we…" Michaela's eyebrows widened, and suddenly, she felt that she was the only one that was thinking with an ounce of common sense, but she was the one who had had a little time to let it simmer. She had just dropped it like a blacksmith's anvil right into Sully's lap.

Michaela hadn't pictured her wedding day as a rush to the altar to cover up a pregnancy. No, she had imagined a warm day with a gentle breeze and the man she loved waiting for her with no worries on their mind.

"Michaela?" he asked slowly. "Are ya feelin' alright? There's nothin' wrong?"

"No. No, Sully, everything's fine. The baby's…the baby's not due until September." She watched his eyes move from hers to her abdomen. She sighed a little.

"Do ya want to?" he asked.

"To what?" she asked, her mind still reeling from the rush of news and Sully's ideas.

"Get married." How could she tell him that she didn't want to marry him? Of course she did. But, they had made plans. They had made plans for the twentieth of May, and that was what they wanted, and it was what they needed in order in insure a safe home and a happy start. She knew what they needed and wanted.

"Sully," she said softly, shaking her head. "I know it's…it's logical." She took a deep breath. "I'm not upset because…because I'm pregnant or because of what this means. I'm upset because this wasn't part of…of what we planned, and it's completely changed everything. We knew it might…and…I'm not sure what to do, Sully. We have so much to think about." Sully nodded. "But do you really think that—"

"I don't want ya to hurt because of—"

"Because of what we did? Sully, you're making it sound as if it's been…been nothing but…" She felt the tears rolling again, and Sully felt a stab of guilt pierce his heart. He didn't want to make her cry. He didn't want to make her think it had been a mistake. They'd discussed the possibilities early on, and now that possibility had become reality, they were both reeling and trying to figure out what the best course of action was. He wanted to be a parent with her. He wanted to see her heavy with his child. He wanted to feel their child kick under his touch.

Suddenly, Michaela's tears were replaced with a wavering certainty. How could she be crying one minute and slowly calming him the next? Was she trying to give him the easy way out? Would she do that? They were supposed to be in this together, weren't they? This was just as much his doing as it was hers.

"Look, Michaela, I wanna marry you. I want ya to be my wife. We're havin'…havin' a baby, and…and the time…" Cloud Dancing's words began to tumble through his mind, and his heart fell. "The time…" He slowly ran his fingers through his hair, and both he and Michaela knew exactly what the other was thinking. Slowly, Michaela spoke in soft, cautious words.

"The time…isn't right, is it?" she asked softly, her heart slowing, as she thought of the fateful words that had struck nightmares into her every night of sleep. "If we marry in shame…we live in shame. Sully, I'm not ashamed, but this baby…this baby…" She shook her head. "People will think we are ashamed, and I can't live like that!" Her breath caught. "What Cloud Dancing said…Sully, if he's right…we can't."

"What are ya sayin'?"

"I'm saying that if we get married because we're having a baby, we'll do exactly what…what we said we wouldn't do. We'll get married for the wrong reasons. I want to marry you, but I want to marry you because we've set a date and not because…because we're taking the easy way out." Sully was surprised by Michaela's fierce attitude. He hadn't expected her to protest to an early marriage so quickly after he'd found her in the state he had. She had changed so quickly from an uncertainty about their future to a determination that what they had done wasn't wrong, and carrying this child out of wedlock was simply…simply unorthodox.

"Ya don't wanna…"

Michaela took a moment to gather her thoughts again. She had surprised herself. She hadn't expected to react the way she had, but her heart told her that getting married to solve their problems wasn't right. No matter how badly she wanted to be his wife, marrying him now wouldn't solve anything. It would only make people more suspicious.

"I'm not ashamed," she whispered. "Sully, there is…a life growing inside of me. We created it, Sully. Our love created it. A year ago, I might have felt differently. Maybe even a month ago. But, Sully, I know how I feel now. I know that I'm risking so much, but I don't…" She paused, collecting her thoughts. Finally, she looked up into his eyes. "I don't care. I don't care about anything but you…our family." He knew her words were true, but was she thinking clearly? She'd worked so hard and come so far to start a new practice, and what if…what if their decision hindered that?

"What about your patients? What about your family?" She only nodded, choosing her words.

"My family comes first, Sully. I am a doctor, yes, but patients come and go every day. You, Johnny, Rebecca, Mary, Mother…Sully, you're family. Family is forever, and…and that's what we are. We're a family now." She couldn't believe the words coming from her heart. She felt they were true. She knew they were. But, she couldn't believe that she was the same woman that had fought tooth and nail to graduate with honors in medical school. She was amazed at how quickly things had changed, and when she saw the guilt in his eyes, she reached out to touch his face. She felt stronger than ever.

"I know things ain't right," he said quietly. "We made our choices, and we knew what could happen. Truth is, Michaela, I wouldn't change a thing. I don't care what people think about me. God knows I ain't the most popular person 'round these parts. But you just got here, and you came out here with me to start your practice. I don't wanna let ya down." With a shake of her head, Michaela leaned toward him, her hands trembling with uncertainty and fear, but she knew that her words were true.

"You could never let me down," Michaela whispered. "I made the same choices as you did. I knew what we were risking. Maybe more." She swallowed hard. "And, I will marry you, Sully. I will marry you. I'll marry you on the twentieth of May…just like we've planned. I'll marry you when we know…when we know that everything is right. Cloud Dancing said it. He said we'd know." He looked into her eyes, seeing more strength and courage in her than he ever had before.

"Are you sure about this?"

"I'm not certain of anything at the moment except for the fact that I love you, and I want us to get married on the day we've planned. I want us to be a family. I want us to take care of everything…before we're married. I want to do things our way…not everybody else's."

"That's what ya really want?" Michaela smiled a little and she took Sully's hand in hers, gently placing it on her stomach.

"What I really want," she began, "is so different than what it used to be. These past few weeks have changed my life, Sully, and I wouldn't take them back for anything. I'm not going to let a bunch of…of people that I hardly know judge me as if they know what's best for me. I've put up with that from my mother all of my life, and I'm living on my own free will now. I'm living here for you and for Johnny and for…for this baby." Sully sighed and gently stroked her cheek.

"We ought to keep this to ourselves for now," Sully pointed out. "Things ain't right with Jake, and he does stupid things when he gets drunk enough or mad enough. I don't want him comin' after you." Michaela nodded. "'Sides, I think we need a little time to…to think." A gentle smile spread over her lips.

"I agree. I…I want to tell Mother, but I'm not certain how. I don't think it's the time yet." He nodded his head.

"When you're ready, I'll be there, Michaela. I'm always gonna be there." She nodded slowly and squeezed his hands. She closed her eyes, picturing a life with Sully, Johnny, and the baby. It was so difficult to imagine that this was already happening, but she could feel that life inside of her. She'd felt it all along, yet she was only now letting herself embrace the idea of motherhood. She was terrified, but with Sully there, nothing else seemed to matter. They would see it through together despite the obstacles in their way.

"I don't know what to say," Tommy said quietly, listening to the disgruntled customers standing outside of the locked mercantile. "When ya came back with her, well, I thought ya came back 'cause ya wanted to…to be with me." Olive shifted nervously. "I didn't expect you'd be goin' back to Joe." Flashes of her past haunted her. She'd given her child up for love, but she knew now that it hadn't been for the right kind of love.

"Neither did I, but he was my husband. I did love him, and I…I had to…to make it work."

"Things didn't work out how I figured they would. I wanted to…to make it work with ya. But, ya left, and I never heard from ya. Anna came along, and I just…I knew that if I didn't move on then, I might never move on." He twisted the rim of his hat in his hands. "She loved Carrie though, Anna did. She was real good with her. She died 'fore Carrie could really remember her, and I was all she had left. I thought about…about sendin' word to ya, but I wasn't sure if you'd get it…or if you'd reply. I figured you was happy where ya was."

"I didn't figure on goin' back to Joe," Olive answered quietly, pacing slowly behind the counter. "But he apologized for the things he done, and over a few months of writin' letters back and forth, well, I found out I was havin' your baby. I couldn't tell him in the letters. I couldn't try to pass it off for his. If there was one thing Joe wasn't…well, he wasn't stupid." Tommy nodded his head.

"Were ya happy when ya went back to him?"

"Nobody's happy all the time." She cleared her throat, trying to hide the pain in her voice from him. "What happens now, Tommy?" Tommy shifted his weight.

"I ain't sure. I…I don't know. I think Carrie'd wanna know, but I think it might hurt her more. I just…well, she's been through a lot."

"I know. I…I been makin' some progress with her, but I ain't sure how things could work if she knew. She's gonna leave, Tommy. She's goin' off with that Simon boy, and they're probably gonna make a good life for themselves. I don't think she needs another problem in her life."

"What makes ya think you're a problem?" he wondered, staring into her eyes as he had so long ago, feeling those initial sparks of his soul reaching out for its mate…and it had found its mate in her, regardless of whether or not they knew it.

Olive leaned forward on the counter, her mouth set in a firm line. She'd forced herself to stop crying over her mistakes a long time ago, and she knew that opening herself up in front of Tommy might only make things worse.

"'Cause she's already been through enough for one lifetime. In that girl's mind, her ma died a long time ago, and if she was to find out that her pa's been lyin' to her for all this time, that's just one more problem she's gotta face."

"Don't ya want to get to know your daughter?" Tommy asked, his eyes narrowing in confusion. Olive backed up.

"Of course I do. I want that more than you could ever know, but she can't know I'm her mother. It'd only hurt her."

"How do ya know?" Olive looked away.

"'Cause if she's anything like me, she'd be better off not knowin' the truth."

August 1850

She slowly dismounted her tired horse, and her entire body was aching, but it didn't compare to the way her heart was breaking with every move she made and every breath she took, as the memories of leaving her baby daughter scarred her thoughts for life.

"You're back," he said softly, standing in the doorway of the barn, as she slowly unsaddled her horse. She jumped at the sound of him, but she didn't turn yet. She wasn't ready to see his face after looking right into the eyes of the man she truly loved. She wished she was anywhere but here, but Joe was a good man. She could do this. So she slowly turned and lifted her gaze to meet his.

"I'm back," she replied with a nervous smile. "I said I was comin' didn't I?" He nodded and stepped toward her, his hands shoved deep into the pockets of his work pants.

"Ya sure did. I was just startin' to think…maybe ya decided against it. I wouldn't blame ya. I know I ain't been the best husband in the world to ya." She tightened her grip on the saddle horn, as she placed it over a fence rail.

"I promised ya I was comin' home. I'm here." She turned back toward him and stepped closer.

"It's been a long time. I…" She nodded again, and tried not to think of her past and what she'd left behind for him.

"It has." Silence filled the barn, and she shifted nervously. "What now?" Joe looked down, scuffling his feet against the hay-covered dirt.

"Well, that's up to you, I guess. What do you want?" What she honestly wanted was to go back to Tommy and tell him she wanted to be a family, but she knew that wasn't right. She knew he had a wife now, and she was too late. Besides, she had a vow to keep. She had to keep her word, because her word was all she had left.

January 1871 – Colorado Springs

Daniel stepped into Carrie's room only to find her slumped over in her bed, her head in her hands. He swallowed hard, and he wondered what had happened to make her so upset.

"Carrie? Carrie, what's wrong?"

"You…you don't wanna know," she stammered. Moving across the room, he sat down on the edge of the bed.

"I wouldn't have asked if I didn't wanna know. What is it?"

"That man…that…"

"Who? Jake Slicker? The one I took off to get calmed down?"

"Yeah. Him."

"What about him?" Daniel waited patiently for a response, as she dried her tears.

"Ya wouldn't believe me if I told you," she whispered. "I ain't sure I can tell you. I…I should just…"

"Whatever it is that has ya upset so bad must be worth talkin' about. Tell me what happened, Carrie. Please?" She shook her head. "Ya trust me, don't ya? Ya know you can trust me?" She nodded, but she wouldn't look at him.

"Did he do somethin' to hurt ya? If he did, Carrie…" She let out another sob, and he reached for her, but she pulled away. She slowly stood up and began to pace the room, her shoes sliding against the floor, ticking away the seconds.

"It was a long time ago."

"A long…ya know him?"

"Oh…Oh, I know him alright," she seethed, angry with herself and angry with Jake. Now Daniel was nervous. He stood and moved toward her, but she moved away to the window. She needed space. He needed to back off and give her time. "It's nice to have a name to put with a face I grew to hate."

"What? Why do ya hate him?" Slowly, she turned, her eyes cold and full of a past she had wanted to forget.

"Eight years ago, Jake Slicker got me pregnant."

The door opened, and Michaela and Sully stepped through. An amused smile had crossed Michaela's face, but Sully seemed to have all of the concerns in the world concentrated into his eyes.

"Sully, I'm fine. I was fine before we knew, and I'm fine now," she whispered, as he closed them inside of Michaela's room, his hand clenched around her. "I'm not going to break. You should know that."

"Yeah, but ya need to get your proper rest now." Michaela smiled a little at the thought of Sully doting on her, and it made her cheeks flush warmly. "You should know that. You're the doctor."

"You're right, but you don't have to show me up to my bed. I'm perfectly capable of finding it myself."

"But that's half the fun," he teased, gently wrapping his arms around her and pressing his lips against her neck. She giggled, and she pushed him away teasingly.

"Now, Mr. Sully," she warned. "I need my rest, remember?" Despite the circumstances, neither one of them could pretend that they weren't happy. After the initial shock had worn off, they were quickly warming up to the idea of being parents together, even though it was going to be much, much sooner than either one of them had anticipated.

Michaela moved to her bed and lay down atop the covers. Sully smiled and was tempted to join her, but he knew that he had a lot of work to get done, especially now that he had one more person to work for.

"I'll let ya rest. And, I think we best not tell Johnny either, 'cause…well, ya know how ten-year-old boys are." Michaela nodded and laughed.

"I do. I have several nephews." She sighed heavily. "Do you…do you think we can do this?" Sully leaned down and gently pressed his lips to hers. When he drew aback, he took her hand in his.

"We can do anything, Michaela. As long as I got you…and you got me…we can do anything." Michaela smiled and nodded. "I love you."

"I love you too," she whispered, as he started toward the door.

"I'll bring ya back somethin' from Grace's when I come back into town." She nodded her thanks, and he was gone. Slowly, she turned onto her side and faced the balcony doors. Her eyes squinted in the sunlight, and she closed them, placing her hand on her stomach.

A baby. She was having a baby. And, she was happy. She couldn't deny the fact that things were not going to be easy by any means. This was going to be the hardest situation she had ever been put into, but she knew that she could see it through. They were marrying in May, baby or not, and they were going to be a family. She was gaining a son and a new child in the same year, and she couldn't be happier. The only problem was the town, her family, and how they were going to react. Nobody was perfect, but where she came from, and she was certain Colorado Springs felt this way too, was that her choice to remain unmarried and pregnant would be highly frowned upon. God knows she treated several young, unwed mothers in her early days as a doctor, but never had she imagined she would be in that position. She seemed to always take the road less traveled, and that road was something people feared. It was virtually unknown, and Michaela was ready to face whatever roadblocks she was going to come across.

When a door downstairs opened and closed, she suddenly remembered that she had an appointment with Charlotte. She couldn't believe her forgetfulness, but then again, she had good reason to excuse being scatterbrained at the moment.

Quickly, she jumped out of bed and hurried downstairs, where she found Charlotte sitting and waiting for her.

"Charlotte, I'm so sorry to have kept you waiting."

"It's alright, Doc," Charlotte assured her. "I'm sorry I ain't been into town, and…" When she saw Michaela's face, her eyes went wide. "My lands, child! Are you alright?" Michaela froze.

"Yes. Yes, of course I am. But, this appointment is about you."

"I'm tough as nails today, Doc. But you…ya look like you're feelin' poorly. Looks like ya ain't slept in a month." She eyed her.

"I'm fine, Charlotte. Honestly," she said with a smile. Charlotte accepted that answer for now, and Michaela began to listen to her heart and lungs. "How have your attacks been?"

"Ain't as bad as before, and they're not happenin' so much. Don't count me outta this game yet," she said with a wink. Michaela smiled at Charlotte's confident optimism.

"You're certain you're feeling better?

"I am."

"Well, your color is much better." And, Charlotte couldn't resist.

"Can't say the same for you. You been sleepin' alright?" Michaela slowly put her stethoscope away. "Still havin' them nightmares, aren't ya?" Michaela had confided in Charlotte about them in the hopes that they would go away, but talking about them only seemed to make them worse.

"I'm…well," Michaela said with a shake of her head. Charlotte frowned.

"Somethin' is troublin' ya," Charlotte pointed out. "I've seen that look before, Doc." Michaela wanted to turn and hide herself from Charlotte's knowledge-filled eyes. Somehow, Charlotte could read her, and that worried her now more than ever.

"Everything's fine. I'm just tired. I'm not…not feeling like myself lately."

"If I didn't know better, I'd say…well…" Charlotte's eyes widened. Actually, she did know better. "Dr. Mike…do ya want to talk?"

"There's nothing to talk about," Michaela insisted with a smile, turning quickly and moving to shuffle papers on her desk. Charlotte's jaw dropped slowly.

"I don't know 'bout that. I heard ya had a doctor in here today."

"So? I…"

"Dr. Mike," Charlotte whispered, getting up from the exam table and crossing the room. She touched Michaela's arm. "I'm a midwife, remember?" Michaela froze again, unable to think of speak at that moment.

"Charlotte…"

"Ya don't gotta tell me, but, I can see that somethin's different. I been midwifin' for a lot of years, and…"

"Charlotte, please don't say anything," Michaela pleaded. Charlotte's eyes went wide at Michaela's semi-confession.

"So it's true!" Michaela nodded slowly, but she couldn't help the smile. She was going to be a mother. This was one of the most special days of her life.

"Sully and I…we just found out," she whispered. "Nobody else knows, and that's how we want to keep it for a while."

"Are ya getting married?" Charlotte asked.

"Yes, yes of course we are."

"Talked to the Reverend yet?" Michaela closed her eyes for a minute.

"Charlotte, Sully and I are getting married in May…just like we planned." Charlotte's eyes grew even wider. It had been a long time since Colorado Springs had heard something so scandalous, though she was worried about her friend.

"Oh, Dr. Mike," she breathed. "You…ya know that things…" She was almost at a loss for words, but the sensitivity in Michaela's eyes at that moment told her that she shouldn't be reminding her of the bad things.

"I know how things are, Charlotte, but Sully and I know what we're doing. We can't get married yet. We're not rushing into…into marriage. We've done enough rushing for a while. We're doing this…at our own pace." Her cheeks reddened, and she awaited Charlotte's criticism, but it never came.

"Dr. Mike, I think you're smart for doin' this."

"You do?"

"Rushin' into marriage just to suit the fancies of a bunch of strangers ain't the way to go 'bout livin' your life. Ya do things at your own pace, and that's what I admire about ya."

"Charlotte," Michaela said with a smile. "Thank you. Thank you for not giving me the kind of advice that I just…don't need right now."

"I know," Charlotte whispered, placing her hand back on Michaela's shoulder. "You're a good woman, Dr. Mike, and some folks should learn to look past the marks folks got against 'em and look at what's inside. Unfortunately, there ain't too many people that do that these days. But, don't you worry. Ya saved my life, and the least I can do is give ya my support." With tears welling in her eyes, Michaela reached out and pulled Charlotte into a hug.

"Thank you. That means a lot."

"I ain't gonna say nothin' to nobody. You just take care of yourself, and if ya need me, ya know where to find me." Michaela nodded.

"I best be getting on home, but you…you remember what I said. And, you don't let nobody tell ya what to do. You hold your head up high, Doc. Be proud of who ya are, and don't let nobody tell ya different."

Elizabeth sat silently in the back church pew, thankful for the silence and the solitude. Her heart was heavy, as she thought of all of her problems; past and present, and she only wished her heart wasn't casting so many gray shadows upon what she felt and what she was supposed to feel.

Her daughters had been the most important people in her life since the first was born, and she wouldn't change having them for anything in the world. She was proud of all of them, yet she feared the most for Michaela, who seemed to be doing everything by her own free will with no thought as to what the future held.

Mr. Sully was a fine man, but the truth was that he had very little money, he already had a child he barely knew, and he wanted to live in some backwoods town that's only evidence of civilization was the train that brought more people very day. Perhaps someday, Colorado Springs might hold the same esteem as Boston, but Elizabeth knew it wouldn't be in her lifetime or Michaela's. Going home certainly sounded like a wonderful idea, yet she truly didn't want to leave her youngest daughter. She wasn't ready for that yet.

With a sigh, she closed her eyes, thinking of her past; thinking of when she was young and in love…thinking of Stephen.

March 1830 – Boston

Elizabeth woke at dawn, and she was immediately alarmed that her new husband wasn't at her side. Instead, his side of the bed was cold, and it felt as if he had been gone for hours.

She sat up quickly, pulling the sheet around herself.

"Stephen?" Cautiously, she pulled herself out of bed and slipped into her house robe. "Stephen? Are you awake?" She checked the washroom, but it was empty, and she knew it was unlike him to leave early without telling her why.

They had been married just a little over a month, and he had been busy helping his father with the business, but he always made sure to come home early enough to spend the nights wrapped in the loving embrace of his wife. Elizabeth was enjoying being a wife, and she was never bored with Fiona around. Fiona had fascinating stories about Stephen's families, though they sometimes made her yearn for her own family, whom she hadn't seen since her mother had slammed the door in her face. She refused to see her until she came to her senses and came back home.

Elizabeth softly padded down the stairs, curious to see if Fiona was up and about. When she spotted Fiona dusting a table in the foyer, she cleared her throat.

"Good morning, Mrs. O'Connor," Fiona said with a smile. "Will you be having coffee this morning?"

"No thank you," Elizabeth replied briskly. "Have you seen Mr. O'Connor this morning?" Fiona nodded her head.

"I believe he's in the study."

"Thank you." Elizabeth pulled her robe a little tighter and padded barefoot down the hallway. Her feet slapped against the floors, and she wondered if he could hear her coming. When she opened the door to the study, she saw him sitting beside the fire with a blanket wrapped around his shoulders and a cup of steaming coffee in the other. "Stephen?" He looked up quickly, his face flushed and his hair damp with sweat.

"Elizabeth," he said softly.

"What's the matter, Stephen? I woke and you weren't…"

"I'm sorry, Elizabeth," he said, shaking his head. "I couldn't sleep, and I didn't want to wake you. I came down here to rest."

"You're…you're…" She moved across the room and knelt down beside him, placing her hand against his forehead. "You're burning up, Stephen. You should be in bed."

"No. No, I'm fine."

"Well, would you rather go to work for your father or spend your day in bed with your wife taking care of you?" Stephen grinned, and Elizabeth blushed.

"You have a point, my love," he said with a chuckle. Elizabeth took his hand and helped him up. He moved in to kiss her, but she pushed against his chest.

"I'm afraid you're going to bed to sleep, Mr. O'Connor," she teased. He coughed roughly, but he put his arm around her waist, leaning on her, as she helped him back up to bed. "Don't worry. I'll send Fiona for a doctor, and everything will be just fine."