This chapter is short. Sorry not sorry. But come on, you guys have gotten three chapters of stuff from me in the last 24 hours! No complaints lol!

So what's to come? Next chapter is the chemo, and then after that it's going to be a lot like Let's Go Back to the Start where each chapter is a month of time!

Review and let me know what you think, okay!?

Chapter 6

Saying the words gave it a sense of finality that he hadn't yet experienced. His heart clenched in pain. He had cancer. And the looks of disbelief and horror on the faces of the people he loved the most were only making it worse. They had to know, but he wished he could have done it over the phone or something.

Spencer squeezed his hand and led him over to the love seat. Once she had him settled in she sat down next to him, looking at him for a second before turning to their friends. It was outrageous the way she could comfort him with just her eyes. Her thumb stroked out a soft pattern over his knuckles. "Everyone needs to calm down," she said it a voice that was both soft and demanding at the same time. "Your anxiety isn't helping anything. Calm the hell down and ask us what you need to know or go home until you can do that."

"Is that what your doctor's appointment was?" Hanna was the first to recover, her voice significantly smaller than usual.

He nodded. "They wanted to confirm my diagnosis with some tests."

"And that's why you were upset last night?" She looked at Spencer, her face pinching.

"I mean, I don't remember it, but I'm sure. I can't imagine something else making me upset with- with that on my mind." Her hand tightened around Toby's. "We just thought that you guys needed to know."

"Damn it," she cursed, grabbing a pillow. "And I made fun of you guys for it. Damn it, I'm such an ass."

"No," he shook his head. "No, Hanna you're perfect, I swear. I don't want anyone walking on eggshells around me. I'm going to find a way to beat this."

No one spoke for awhile. He couldn't look up because if he saw any tears he was going to lose the little composure that he had. He clutched Spencer's hand like she were his lifeline and stared at the carpet, finding patterns in the fluffy white.

"Toby?" He looked up to meet the brown eyes of one of the best friends he had ever had. Emily was actually his best friend in the world, with the obvious exception of Spencer.

He gave her a questioning stare just before she leaned forward and tightly wrapped both arms around his neck. He squeezed his eyes shut and held onto her with his free arm. There was something about Emily's embrace that was making him feel things that he wasn't ready to feel. He had already broken down in front of Spencer today, and that had been bad enough. But breaking down in front of your wife and your friends were two very different things. He knew, he just knew, that Spencer would always love him. There was no doubt in his mind that she would always be there for him. And while he was fairly certain that his friends would always be in his life, it was much less of a sure thing. And he didn't want to hasten their departure by appearing weak.

Spencer tried to drop his hand, but he clung to her. He needed her. He couldn't describe why, but he knew that there was physically no way that he could let go of her hand right now. She seemingly understood what he needed because held onto his hand with both of hers.

"I'm sorry," Emily murmured into his neck. "I'm so sorry. Can I do anything?"

How was he supposed to tell her that the only thing she could do for him was not leaving him? That was too manipulative. She wouldn't see it that way, but he certainly did. He just kept a hold of her and shook his head. "Thanks." His voice was barely audible, but he knew she heard it.

"So are you going to go bald or something? Because I could probably shave my head in solidarity if you want," Hanna teased. That's what she did in stressful situations. "I think I could probably rock the bald look."

He laughed. "Maybe Caleb doesn't want to date a bald chick."

"I'll just steal your lady out from under you," Caleb brought back their signature joke. His face was twisted in pain, but Toby appreciated the effort.

"I mean, I'd rather you not," he laughed. "I think I'll keep her around."

"I see how it is," Hanna huffed in fake annoyance. "You only like me for my hair."

Caleb shrugged. "You said it, I didn't."

And this was why he loved these people. There was unyielding support. He instinctively knew that they'd be there for him. He knew it like he knew anything, and he couldn't be more grateful. And he knew that he'd do the same for any one of them were the situations reversed.

"Okay, everyone get out now," Spencer laughed, tossing a pillow in Hanna and Caleb's direction. "I have to check my husband into the hospital in two and a half days. So we have a lot of hanging out to do until then."

Emily and Caleb both looked shocked at the short time frame, but Hanna just screwed up her face at the mention of hanging out. Whenever Hanna said hanging out she definitely implied something a bit more physical than he was sure that Spencer had in mind, but he was also sure that was why she chose those particular words.

Hanna stood up and grabbed Caleb's hands. "Let's go. I don't want to even think about the kinky stuff that these losers get up to in their spare time."

He chuckled and stood up. "You want a ride, Em? I wouldn't want your innocence to be stolen by these depraved lunatics."

She nodded. He could see that she was trying to not look so emotional, but was failing miserably. He definitely felt her pain. When something like this happened it was hard to remain positive. But he appreciated her attempt more than he would ever be able to tell her.

After promises to visit were made all around their friends left, and he was once again left alone with Spencer. He released her hand and wrapped his arm around her shoulders, pulling her into him. The other hand gently cupped the side her head, tangling its fingers up in her hair. "Thank you."

"For what?" She genuinely had no idea what she did for him.

"For making them stop with the pity. For making them leave. For just- for knowing exactly what I need before I even say it." His lips found her hair. She smelled so good, so uniquely her. He was fairly confident that he could find her in a dark room solely based on smell.

She sighed, her hot breath warm against his neck. "You don't get it, do you? You don't have to thank me for those things, Toby. There's literally nothing I want more than to be there for you. I can't do much in the way of physicality, but you better believe I'll always protect you emotionally."

His throat tightened. He wanted to cry, but instead he decided to pull a Hanna. "So when you said we had a lot of hanging out to do..."

She laughed. "Oh, I wasn't kidding." She twisted in his arms, finding his mouth with her own. "It might be awhile before we get alone time again. We might as well make it count, don't you think?"

He brushed his nose over hers in the lightest of Eskimo kisses, his heart positively swelling with love for the girl who had changed his whole life. "I think that's a great idea." Before he could think about it too much he wrapped an arm around either of her legs and pulled the both of them up off the couch. He was weak, and his hold on her was a bit shakier than usual, but he knew he could do it. He never would have picked her up otherwise.

"Toby!" She shrieked, half in concern and half in laughter. "But me down."

"I will in a second," he murmured, his lips back on hers. He didn't need to see. He had taken this path more times than he could count. All that mattered right now was showing her how much he loved her. Because he didn't know when he'd get to do it again.