Chapter 52

January 1870 – Colorado Springs

For several moments, Daniel's eyes stared directly into Carrie's, wondering if everything he'd heard had actually been spoken aloud.

"You…you…had a baby with Jake?"

"I didn't know his name," she whispered, slowly sitting down on the edge of her bed. "I didn't know his name, and he left 'fore I…'fore I knew the baby was comin'." She buried her face in her hands, and Daniel took a step backwards, soaking in this new revelation.

"Ya couldn't have been very old," he said quietly.

"I was thirteen," she breathed. "I was thirteen and so stupid for thinkin'…for thinkin' anybody could…" Her words failed her, and she burst into tears again, something she hadn't wanted to do, but seeing Jake had brought so much pain back into her life.

She watched him pace now, and the anger in his eyes and tension in his muscles seemed to increase with every silent second.

"Daniel," she started.

"I'll kill him. I'll kill him for doin' that to you." He started for the door, but she ran to him, gripping his arm with her nails.

"No! Don't! Daniel, no!"

"He don't deserve to be breathin', Carrie! I'll kill him!" Feeling the power surging through his veins, she let go of him but pinned herself against the door.

"No you won't! He ain't worth it, Daniel! He ain't worth it!" Carrie's hands were firmly planted on Daniel's chest now, and she was pushing him back with all of the strength she had in her body. "Please, don't do it. He probably don't even know. He drank a lot in those days, and by the looks of it, he still does. Please don't do nothin'. He don't deserve to know he had a son. He don't deserve to know. Please, Daniel." Her eyes were filled with tears now, and she couldn't stop them.

"He hurt you."

"Well, I didn't exactly say no, Daniel."

"He shoulda known better! Ya were just…ya were so young."

"Don't do this. I shouldn't have…I shouldn't have told ya." She firmed herself up against the door and waited for his response.

"I'm glad ya told me."

"Please, Daniel. I'm beggin' ya right now to let it go. Just let it go. It's the past, and I'm…"

"It don't matter if it was eight years ago or fifty. Carrie, that man don't deserve…"

"He don't deserve a lot of things, and neither do I!" She screamed. "I don't deserve to have somebody who cares about me so much that he's willin' to kill for me. But you…you're here." Her heart spoke for her, and Daniel slowly unclenched his fists.

"Daniel, please…please just stay." She took his hand. "With me." Hearing those words from her lips thawed the frozen feeling in the core of his being. The hatred he felt for Jake was replaced by an overwhelming realization. She had asked him to stay. With her.

"I'll stay," he finally replied, as his hand squeezed hers.

"And promise me ya won't say nothin' or do nothin'."

"I can't promise that, Carrie," Daniel said with a shake of his head. "But I promise I'll try." Carrie breathed a soft sigh of relief.

"That'll do for now," she replied quietly. "Thank you." Slowly, Daniel drew his arms around her, and she didn't dare to pull back. Instead, she reveled in the feel of his arms around her, and for the first time in a long time, she felt safe.

The door to the clinic swung open, and Johnny rushed in, breathless. Michaela startled at his entrance, and she turned abruptly from the cabinet, where she was putting away medicines and other herbs.

"Johnny!" she exclaimed, placing her hand over her rushing heart. "You startled me!"

"Sorry, Dr. Mike," he said sheepishly. "Me and Mary was racin' to see who could get home first. I beat her, 'cause she's got farther to run." He gave a triumphant smile, and Michaela shook her head, smiling, as she continued to work. "Is Pa here?"

"He's working on the new house," Michaela pointed out. "You're welcome to keep me company here. I don't have any other appointments scheduled for today."

"Really?"

"Really," she winked. Johnny tossed his schoolbooks aside and hurried over, eager to help the doctor. "Could you take these linens to that closet?" She handed him the blankets and robes and pointed him in the right direction.

"Sure." Johnny worked silently, doing as Michaela asked, and the two would smile at each other on occasion, enjoying the mutual bonding experience. "Did you help your Pa like this when you were my age?"

"I certainly did," she replied. "Though I was too helpful sometimes, and Father would have to make me wait in the other room before I diagnosed his patients first." Johnny laughed at that, and Michaela felt relief wash over her. She was happy that she and Johnny were bonding, and she enjoyed sharing her stories with him.

"Dr. Mike?"

"Hmm?"

"When you and Pa get married…"

"Yes?" She watched him fidget nervously.

"Well, see, I don't remember my sisters, and…and I was hopin' that maybe I'd get a little sister, and…" Michaela nearly dropped a bottle of Quinine, but she caught it before he could fall too far, and she felt her cheeks flush red. "You ok, Dr. Mike?"

"I'm fine," she said hoarsely, hoping her face didn't look as pale as it felt. "Well, we'll…we'll just have to see what happens."

"A little brother would be good too," Johnny said with a thoughtful nod. Michaela took a deep breath and nodded her head.

"We'll you never know what could happen, Johnny."

"Does that mean you'll think about it?" Michaela's expression went from one of worry to one of amusement.

"If I say yes, will you go check on the pups for me?"

"Sure!"

"Then yes." Johnny laughed as Michaela reached out to tickle him, but he squirmed away just in time and rushed upstairs to check on the pups. Michaela shook her head and went back to stocking her shelves, and she jumped in surprise, when she felt two strong arms around her. "Oh!"

"I thought you were s'posed to be restin'," his voice teased, as his breath made the hairs on the back of her neck rise. She swallowed hard and spun around in his arms.

"I was resting. But, I forgot I had an appointment with Charlotte," she pointed out. "I was about to go rest again, but…" Before she could respond, his lips met hers in a tender kiss, and she closed her eyes, relishing the feel of his lips upon hers. When he pulled back, her eyes sparkled with happiness.

"Couldn't resist."

"Neither could I," she said with a grin, kissing him again. Just as their bodies wrapped together, and Michaela gently leaned against the cabinet, a voice from the doorway cleared, causing them both to gasp and break apart. "Mother!" She noticed the distress and the hint of sadness there, and she was shocked when Elizabeth didn't make note of Michaela and Sully's private display of affection.

"I'm sorry, Michaela," she said quietly. Sorry? Michaela and Sully exchanged a glance, and Sully squeezed Michaela's hand.

"Johnny's upstairs. Perhaps you could help him with the pups," Michaela offered. He nodded in understanding and nodded toward Elizabeth. A moment later, he was disappearing up the stairs, and Michaela was moving toward her mother.

"What's wrong, Mother?"

"I came to…to talk to you. There's something I think you should know."

"About what?"

"About…about something that none of you girls have heard before…about something that could…could help you to understand the way I feel about your relationship with Mr. Sully." Michaela narrowed her eyes.

"What could you possibly have to say that could make me understand that?"

"You might be surprised." Michaela noticed the color leaving Elizabeth's face.

"What…what's caused you to decide to tell me if you've kept it to yourself all of these years?" Elizabeth shifted uncomfortably.

"I was at the church," she pointed out. "I was praying for an answer, and I didn't receive one, but…but the memories have been haunting me, Michaela, and I think…I think it's time to tell you." Michaela searched her thoughts for a moment, remembering her earlier conversation with her mother.

"Does this have anything to do with what you said? You said that you know what it's like to be in love and to…to have your heart broken." She saw Elizabeth's gaze fall, and a knot formed in the pit of her stomach. "Oh, Mother." She had never known her father to be one to break her mother's heart. What could have happened? What? "Please tell me it wasn't father." Elizabeth hesitated, and she swallowed hard.

"Things happen for a reason, Michaela, and my mother once told me that if I married…someone…only heartache would follow."

"That sounds familiar," Michaela said with a sigh, crossing her arms across her chest.

"She was right." Michaela's fallen gaze snapped up to stare into her mother's.

"What are you saying? You're saying that marrying father broke your heart?" Elizabeth went to speak again, but Michaela interrupted her. "How could you do this? How could you tell me this after all this time? You…you married a man you didn't love, and you…you lied to me about it. Mother, did he know?"

"Michaela, please calm down!"

"How do you expect me to calm down? I've even asked you, Mother! I asked you if you loved him when you married him. You told me you did! You…"

"And I didn't lie!" Elizabeth's hushed voice tore through Michaela's being. "I did love him, but it took a while for me to…to fall in love with him."

"You aren't making any sense." Michaela felt her stomach turning and twisting, and she felt light headed. Slowly, she made her way to the exam table and leaned against it.

"Perhaps we should talk somewhere private."

"This is private."

"Michaela, I don't want any interruptions. This is important." Michaela searched her mother's eyes, and she knew that if she was going to get answers, she should comply with her mother's wishes for once. Suddenly, Michaela knew exactly where to take her mother.

"Come with me." She grabbed her coat and started for the door.

"Where are we going?"

"You'll see." If Elizabeth was going to try to make her see her side, the least she could do was try to do the same for her mother. So, she scribbled down a note for Sully and led her mother out of the clinic and to their destination.

March 1830 – Boston

Elizabeth gently placed a cool rag on Stephen's forehead. She closed her eyes and squeezed his hand, praying that everything was going to be alright. When she felt him squeeze back, she opened her eyes and smiled bravely down at him.

"How are you feeling?"

"Better. I think I'm over the worst of it," he moaned.

"What hurts?" she asked, softly caressing his cheek. She felt him trembling, as the sweat poured down his temples.

"My back…my head…all over." He swallowed hard, and she took the thermometer from him again. "What…what is it?"

"103," she said softly.

"It's not going down," he breathed.

"The doctor will be here soon, my love. Just hold on." She placed a glass of water to his lips, and he took a small sip.

"I don't deserve you," he said softly, closing his eyes. "You deserve so much more, Elizabeth. More than I can give you."

"You've given me plenty, and when you're well, we'll…we'll…" She paused shortly as the door clicked open. Fiona stepped in cautiously.

"The doctor is here, Ma'am," she said softly. Elizabeth stood to greet the doctor. She stepped into the hall, and she gasped in surprise at the sight of the tall, handsome gentleman. His eyes were what she first noticed, and before too long, her heart was betraying her by pounding at the thought of who this man was.

"You?" He smiled a little, slightly embarrassed by the situation. But, he retained his composure and moved across the room. "Josef Quinn."

"It's me. I'm the only one your maid could find." His eyes caught hers, and she smiled weakly. Had her mother put him up to this? When she saw the worry in Fiona's eyes, she knew the truth.

"I didn't expect…" He shook his head.

"It's no time for memories, my dear. Where is he?"

"Just through there." She wanted to speak again, but his comforting hand on her shoulder made her freeze.

"I'll…" Suddenly, she snapped herself out of whatever awkward daze she had put herself under, and she thought of Stephen lying in their bed…suffering.

"Please. Please tell me you'll do what you can?"

"I'll do everything I can." Josef passed her by and moved into the bedroom, closing her and Fiona out into the hallway.

"Do you know him?" Fiona asked softly.

"I…my parents wished for me to marry him." Fiona's eyes twinkled.

"But you followed your heart instead."

"I did," she whispered. "I love Stephen. I…I can't imagine life without him." She slowly sat down in a high-backed chair and forgot all of her manners and propriety. She slumped over and began to sob quietly into her hands. Fiona, forgetting her own status, moved over and knelt beside her, placing her hand soothingly on the lady's back.

"Don't worry," she whispered. "Dr. Quinn will do what he can. He's a good man. My family has known his for a long, long time."

"I'm so frightened," she whispered. "She can't be right."

"Who, Ma'am?" Elizabeth shook her head, but her mother's words were ringing in her ears. If Stephen left, he would break her heart. But, it wasn't his doing. They had no control over it. Now his life was in Josef's hands, and her heart grew heavy at the thought.

"Please," she prayed. "Please let him live. Don't let him leave me."

January 1871 – Colorado Springs

"For Heaven's sakes, Michaela," Elizabeth panted, as they continued up the dirt road. "This is ridiculous! Where are we going?"

"You'll see," Michaela said flatly. "When we get there, we'll talk. Until then…" She didn't need any other words, and Elizabeth slipped back into silence, listening to the sounds of nature all around her, hoping there wasn't a bear, or a mountain lion waiting for its next meal.

Finally, they veered off of the road and down a freshly made path, where the future homestead came into sight. Elizabeth focused her sight on the land before her, and she had to admit to herself that it was breathtaking.

"What is this place?" she asked after a few silent moments.

"This, Mother, is home." She swept her hand across the sky, signifying what was going to be their home.

"This?"

"Yes," Michaela replied with a confident nod. "Sully is planning to have the house built by the time we're married in May. It's going to be two stories and have several rooms, and…"

"Why did you bring me here?"

"Because, I want to show you that Sully and I have plans. We aren't going into this blindly, Mother. Yes, things have moved quickly, but we're happy. This is our future, Mother. This is what he and I want." Elizabeth took it all in, and she thought about all of the plans that she and Stephen had made to move to New York.

"It is beautiful, Michaela," she said thoughtfully. After a long pause, she surprised her daughter with her next question. "This is what you really want?" Michaela nodded.

"More than anything in the world. This is…this is everything to me. This future. This life. With Sully." She took a shaky breath and placed her hand absent-mindedly on her stomach. Elizabeth didn't notice, however, because she was staring off toward the horizon, searching for the right words. But, they escaped her now. "I didn't go into this thinking that I needed to get married. Mother, you know me better than that. This is what I want, and now, I know that Sully's what I need. I need to be with him, because he's the only person in this entire world that understands me. He doesn't judge me. He doesn't…he doesn't pressure me to do things I don't want to do. Mother, he loves me with all of his heart, and I love him with all of mine. I need you to understand that I don't care about money. I don't care about having a big, fancy house. If we had to, we'd live above the clinic for the rest of our lives, but Sully wants to give me more than that. He doesn't have to, but he wants to. He works everyday for our family, and that's what matters to me most."

Elizabeth took a heavy breath, and her heart twisted into knots. She closed her eyes, and she didn't know how to tell her daughter the one thing that could break their fragile relationship forever.

"Mother?"

"I…I don't know what to say," she said gently. "I always thought we were so much alike. I wanted it to be that way. I wanted to know that at least one of my girls would…would be…" She tried not to let a tear escape, but it was too late. "Michaela, I don't know how to tell you this."

"I've told you what's in my heart, Mother."

"Yes. Yes, you have." She paused.

"You can tell me anything. I want you to. I…I wish it was that way with us." Michaela turned toward the site of the homestead again. "Trust me, Mother. There will be things in our lives that…that are difficult to tell one another, but if we can accept one another…"

"Michaela," Elizabeth said firmly. "You don't know how difficult this is for me. You don't know…"

"I know, Mother. I think I know more than you would expect." She swallowed hard, as the breeze picked up.

"It's about your father," she finally muttered. Michaela nodded her head.

"Alright. What is it? What about Father?" Elizabeth finally drew up the courage to tell her daughter. She knew it was now or never.

"Michaela, your father…he…he wasn't the first man I loved." Michaela's eyes slowly widened. "There was another before him. I…his name…his name was Stephen O'Connor, and…and I was his wife."