Cough cough lastchapteronlygotfourreviewsandimreallysadaboutit cough cough
This chapter took an unbelievably long time. If you know anything about the medical aspects of this I'm sorry if it's not accurate. Also I know it's highly unlikely but It's my story and my fiction so shhhhh. You all know you like it anyways.
Next chapter will be up faster if you decide to review. Not a bribe, just a fact.
URGH I have to go to work. Okay byeee. Review please!
Chapter 9
November
"Mr. Cavanaugh, I'm happy to tell you that you're ready to be done with chemotherapy and the bone marrow transplant treatment." Dr. Green shot him a happy smile. "And we've done the tests on all of the people you presented to us, and surprisingly your wife is a match for your bone marrow transplant. I've never seen this happen before, so it was a lucky coincidence."
The doctor's announcement was a roller coaster of emotions. He leaned back wearily on the bed, too weak to even lift his head from the pillows. The final round of chemo took every ounce of strength from his body, and he couldn't be happier that it was over. But he was less than thrilled that Spencer was a match for him. The only reason he hadn't protested as soon as they took her blood was that he believed there was no way she could possibly be a match. But she wasn't going to get surgery for him. It just wasn't happening.
"Great," Spencer enthusiastically replied to the doctor's statement before he was even able to formulate a coherent thought. "What do I have to do?"
"Well, we've already done the blood tests and ensured you were a candidate for the general anesthesia so-"
"Wait," he groaned, struggling to pull himself up. "Wait, hold on."
Spencer looked at him, obviously seeing exactly what he was going to say written all over his face. She turned to the doctor. "Could you give us a minute?" When he looked reluctant she continued. "I'll have a nurse page you once I knock some sanity into my husband."
Dr. Green nodded reluctantly and walked through the door. Spencer watched him go before turning to him with fire in her eyes.
"Um, should I go too?" Emily stood up from her spot in the corner, scratching the back of her head awkwardly. Toby opened his mouth to tell her to stay, but she shook her head. "Nah I'm actually going to go get a snack. I don't need to get in the middle of your adorable little protective lovers quarrel."
He watched her leave apprehensively because he was pretty sure that Spencer was going to kill him. "Spence-"
"Are you seriously going to ask me not to do this? Because if you're really going to ask me that I'm going to have to laugh at you as I march my ass out of this room."
"Spencer." He reached for her, indicating that she should join him on the bed. She sighed dramatically but did as he asked. His hand grasped her arm just above her elbow, and he tugged lightly, using the very last bits of his energy. She got his meaning and curled up next to him on the bed, resting her head gently against his chest. "Spence, you've already given up so much for me. I can't ask you to do this too."
"Toby," she breathed his voice out in this way she had. Like she was caressing him with her words. "You don't have to ask. Because I'm volunteering. I want too. Please let me do this for you, baby."
He tucked his face into her neck. "There's so many complications..." It wasn't that she wanted to help him. He obviously didn't want to die, but if she got hurt trying to help him he'd never be able to forgive himself.
"Yeah, soreness and weakness," she mumbled into his hair. "I can handle it." She pulled away from him and gently tilted his head up to look at her. Sincerity was dripping from every inch of her face. "Listen to me, Toby. I love you. I love you more than anything in the world. Please let me do this."
He hesitated, and in the pause she continued. "I hate to be manipulative, but actually I really don't if it's what works. You know you would do this for me, Toby. You know you would. I don't doubt it for even a second, just like I've never doubted you. We would go to the ends of the earth for each other. That's who we are, and you know that as well as I do. It's just been something that's been understood. You know you would do this for me."
"I would," he responded without having to think about it. "I would do it without hesitation, but God knows that you would be protesting the same way that I am with you. Because as stupid as it might sound, as long as you're okay I'll be fine."
"But I won't be okay if I lose you Toby. Please just let me do this."
There was a long pause before he nodded into her, kind of hating himself for agreeing. But knowing he'd be an idiot not to. Because how lucky was he to have a wife that loved him enough to do this and was an adequate match? He wouldn't take this choice away from her.
She leaned against his shoulder and brushed her lips across the top of his ear. "I love you."
After about a two hour wait Dr. Green came back in the room with a wheelchair. "Are you ready, Mrs. Cavanaugh?"
She briefly pressed her lips to his neck before pulling away and unfolding herself from her spot next to him. "I was born ready," she laughed.
Dr. Green nodded and glanced back at him. "Toby, we'll come back for you about halfway through Spencer's procedure, okay?"
"Like hell," he groaned, mustering all of the energy he had to pull himself into a sitting position. "I'm coming too."
"Toby." He had never liked the sound of his name until her first heard it spill from her lips. Spencer turned back to him and ran her fingers along his jawline. "Baby, you don't have to come. I'll be fine."
He grabbed her hand and laced their fingers together. He took a second to pepper a series of kisses along her knuckles before responding. "I agreed to this Spencer. But I'm not going to leave you to do it alone. I'm coming."
She looked into his eyes for a long second before leaning in to kiss him softly. She rested her forehead against his as she pulled away. "I love you."
His heart swelled with love for his wife. No one could make him feel as safe or loved as the girl in front of him. "I love you too." He turned to the doctor. "Will the bone marrow be alright if I wait until I see that she's okay first?"
"Toby," she protested, but he cut her off with a soft kiss.
"Shhh," he murmured. He turned to Dr. Green. "I just need to make sure she's okay. I need to see her breathing and I need to see her opening her eyes before I focus on myself."
"You two are sweet," the doctor gestured to the wheel chair. "And I already figured you'd want to come, Toby. That's why I brought the chair. And that should be fine, baring any complications."
He fought down the urge to tell Spencer that he changed his mind at the mention of complications. Spencer wrapped an arm around his back and helped him up. He leaned heavily on her shoulders. "Sorry," he mumbled, embarrassed that he couldn't even walk by himself.
Spencer took his hand and Dr. Green pushed the chair through the door and out into the hallway. "Don't be embarrassed, Toby," she bent down and whispered in his ear, only loud enough for him to hear. "It's okay to ask for help when you need it, and I shudder to think of where I'd be if you had never carried me anywhere."
He brought her hand up to his lips and pressed a soft kiss to her wrist. It was hard to think about where he'd be if he didn't have her. With just a look she could tell exactly what he was thinking and he loved her for it. "Do you remember-"
She groaned, cutting him off. "We're not supposed to talk about that," she laughed, knowing exactly what he was going to say.
"Wait, I want to hear this story," Dr. Green chimed in from behind them.
"Sorry, cone of silence," Spencer interjected, squeezing his hand in warning.
It really was pretty bad, so he mimed zipping his lips shut. "Sorry," he laughed. "she has too many stories on me to make this worth it."
Spencer nodded in approval. They rounded a corner and entered a large room with a bed-like thing in the middle. "Alright, Spencer." Dr. Green motioned toward a curtained off corner of the room. "There's a hospital gown in there for you. Go change really quickly, don't leave anything on under the gown. Then we'll get you settled."
She nodded, leaned down to kiss the top of his head, and breezed through the curtain. As soon as she was out of sight he sank back down into the chair, even this small amount of spent energy exhausting him completely. Dr. Green looked down at him knowingly. "No one would think less of you if you needed to go back to bed, Toby."
But he shook his head. "She hasn't left me for a single second since this whole mess began. I'm not going to leave her now that she needs me."
Dr. Green smiled. He looked like he was going to say something, but Spencer came back out before he could speak. Even when she was dressed in a potato sack-like hospital gown she was the most beautiful person he had ever seen. It was something about the way she moved; the way she gracefully strode toward him while never taking her eyes off of his face. It was the way her hand curled out around the back of his neck, bringing his head securely against her waist. It was the way her eyes sparkled when she looked down at him. Even now, even after everything he had been through in the past month; even after she wiped his sweat away and cleaned up his vomit and dried his tears... she still looked at him like she loved him. He didn't see pity in her eyes. He only saw unconditional love and acceptance. And it was everything to him.
"Are you ready for this, Spencer?"
She nodded wordlessly, but her eyes told him a story as she looked at him. He saw all of the things he usually saw when he looked at her. Love, acceptance, determination, passion... but he also saw fear. He took both of her hands in his. "You don't have to do this, baby. I swear, I won't hold anything against you."
She shook her head, stubborn to the very end. "I'll be fine. Just- be careful, okay? Don't do anything stupid because you're worried about me."
A large part of him wanted to scoff at her worry, but they both knew that it was a definite possibility so he just nodded. "I'll just sit in this chair and wait for you."
"Okay." She dropped his hands and turned to the table.
"Spence-" he whispered, reaching out and snagging her wrist. "Spencer, hold on." He tugged her down and onto his lap. His hands immediately found her face, pulling her in for a kiss. His hands tangled up in her hair, and her hands ran along his jawline.
They only pulled apart at the sound of an uncomfortable throat clearing. He took her heated face in his hands and touched their foreheads together. "Thank you," he said as fervently as he could muster. He spent so much time trying to talk her out of it that he hadn't let her know how much he truly appreciated this. It wasn't lost on him that this gesture could literally save his life. "Thank you."
A tear slid down her cheek and she closed her eyes, leaning into him. He kissed her tear away and pressed his lips to the top of her head. She'd be fine. She had to be alright.
Spencer blew out a long breath that both tickled and warmed his neck. "Okay," she whispered, pulling herself up. "Okay, I'm ready." She stood up and took his hand, squeezing it one last time before walking over to the table and the doctors waiting for her.
He couldn't hear as they gave her instructions. He couldn't focus on anything as the pair of doctors helped his wife onto the bed that would hold her as they took out the bone marrow. He barely felt it as Dr. Green pushed him closer to Spencer. When he reached her she was situated against the pillow. She reached out and grabbed his hand. Her fingers were trembling slightly, but he pretended not to notice because he knew that she wouldn't want him to.
He took her hand in both of his and kept his eyes on hers. He was with her, and he wanted her to know that. He wasn't going anywhere. He'd never leave her.
A doctor gently lifted her head and placed a mask over her face. The mask served to make her appear so small, covering nearly her entire face.
"Deep, big breaths Mrs. Cavanaugh," the anesthesiologist told her from by her head. "Your eyes are going to feel heavy. Don't fight it."
She didn't take her eyes off of Toby as she nodded. He reached out with his spare had and traced absentminded patterns on her neck. Because he was watching her so diligently he saw as her eyes went hazy and unfocused. He kissed her knuckles as her eyes drifted shut for the last time.
He let out a shaky breath and closed his eyes. It went against his entire nature to let Spencer put herself in danger for him. It felt so wrong.
It was taking too long. An hour of the unknown was too much for him. If he didn't know that she was okay right now he was quite literally going to lose his mind. He could never remember quite feeling like this in the past. The closest thing he could remember passed through his mind like a picture book of horrors.
"Stop it!"
Toby wanted to look at her. He wanted to take her into his arms and tell her that everything was fine, but he was honestly pretty sure that if he took his eyes off of her father that he'd punch him in the face.
Mr. Hastings started to move forward. Toby tensed, ready to defend himself. But suddenly she was between them. He wrapped his hands around her upper arms, fully prepared to push her out of harms way. But her dad stopped in front of them. "Spencer, don't get in the middle of this!"
"I am in the middle of this!" She inched backwards, firmly pressing her back into his chest.
He wrapped an arm around her shoulders. Mr. Hastings' hand whipped out lightning fast as though to smack her. He wrapped his other arm around her and twisted their bodies so that Mr. Hastings' blow landed harmlessly against his shoulder. He held her for a long second before pulling away. Spencer was frozen, hunched over in his arms.
"Spencer," Mr. Hastings whispered, reaching out for her.
He literally saw red, only keeping his cool to the point that he realized murdering his girlfriend's father was a bad plan. "Don't touch her," he warned in a dangerous voice.
He could feel Spencer shaking against him. She shrugged out of his arms and started toward the door without another word. He shot Mr. Hastings a dangerous look before running after her. He could hear Mr. Hastings following after him, but he didn't care about that. He only cared about Spencer.
"Spencer!" He caught up to her halfway across the lawn, grabbing her arm to stop her.
She stopped and looked up at him, a sheen of tears distorting her eyes. "Just let me go."
"Never," he whispered, in the most heartfelt voice her could muster. "I'll never let you go."
The grass rustled behind them as Mr. Hastings approached. He tensed and wrapped both arms around Spencer, protecting her with his body. He really doubted that Mr. Hastings tried to hit her again, but he wasn't going to risk it. "I'm being really calm right now, Mr. Hastings. But you need to back the fuck off."
"Let me talk to my daughter." Mr. Hastings was unrelenting, trying to push Toby off of Spencer.
He shrugged Mr. Hastings off and pulled Spencer toward his truck. He helped her in before shutting the door behind her and climbing into the driver's side. The doors locked just before Mr. Hastings' fist slammed into the glass on Spencer's side. She flinched away from the door and scooted across to the middle seat. He wrapped his arm around her once she was within reach. "Do you want to talk to him?" He asked quietly. If she wanted to stay here he wouldn't be able to sleep. He'd sit in his truck on the street, a sick feeling rising up in his throat at what he caused. But he had to chest because this was her life and her choice.
But she just shook her head slowly. "Just drive."
Mr. Hastings' fist slammed into the glass again. "Spencer get out of the truck!"
Toby started the truck up and backed out of the driveway, leaving Mr. Hastings' angry figure behind. "I'm so sorry, Spencer."
"For what?" She turned toward him. "You didn't do anything wrong."
"If I hadn't said anything he-"
"Are you seriously apologizing for that? Toby," she breathed his name tenderly, "Toby, no one has ever defended me like that before. No one has ever stood up for me... believed in me... the way that you do. You have nothing to apologize for."
He pulled over in front of his loft. "Stay with me for a few days? At the very least give him time to calm down?" The thought of her in the same room as her father would make him sick. The thought of that man laying a hand on her was enough to send him into an uncontrollable rage. What if he hadn't been there to stop it?
But she nodded, alleviating his fears. "But I don't have any other clothes here. I might have to borrow some of yours," she teased.
She had at least a drawer full of her clothes at his loft, but he certainly wasn't going to point that out. "You in my clothes? The horror." He dropped a soft kiss to her lips. "I think your goal is just to force me into walking around naked."
"You caught me," she giggled. The sound warmed his heart. At least he could make her kind of happy again. "I love you, Toby."
"I love you too."
"Toby, if Spencer comes in here and you still have that constipated look on your face she's going to freak out!"
He knew that Hanna was right. Spencer was as protective of him as he was of her. If she saw him so upset she was going to do nothing but worry. But he couldn't shake it off. This never should have happened. She never should have been forced to do this for him, but she was. He was about to get surgery himself, but all that he could think about was Spencer. Was she okay?
Before he could answer Hanna a rattling noise caught his attention. He slowly turned toward the door and saw two nurses wheeling in the stretcher. Dr. Green followed direction behind them. As the nurses unloaded Spencer onto the bed in her recovery room he turned to Dr. Green. "Is she alright? It went okay?" His voice sounded kind of frantic, but he wasn't embarrassed. This was Spencer.
"It all went fine. She took it great, and there weren't any complications detected. She'll be fine."
He started slightly as his chair started to move. He turned and smiled distractedly at Caleb as he pushed him to the side of her bed. As soon as he was within arms reach he took her hand in both of his, being careful of her IV, and brought it to his lips. He was feeling a roller coaster of emotions. Gratitude, fear, uncertainty, love... just so much. He loved her though, that was the dominate thing. God, he loved her so much.
"She'll be waking up any minute now, and she'll be very groggy. She'll need to keep the oxygen mask on for a little bit longer as we regulate her vitals, but within an hour she should be aware and talking." He glanced down at Toby. "We've got her room all ready for you, and we'll need you to come soon, okay?"
"When she wakes up," he whispered, still not taking his eyes off of her. He could see the rise and fall of her chest. He could feel the steady beating of her pulse in her wrist. He just needed to see her eyes. If he could see her eyes open he would know that everything was okay.
"Toby, we'll look after her for you." Emily looked up from her book on the other side of Spencer. "We'll make sure she's alright."
"And by the time you're done and awake she'll probably be well enough to be waiting for you."
They were right. And he trusted them with Spencer, it was just that he didn't want to be without her. He didn't want her to think that he forgot about her, that he was putting himself over her. Because what she had done here was so selfless. She deserved to be everyone's full focus for awhile. Even though she would tell him he was being ridiculous, he couldn't help but feel that way. He traced his fingers along the edges of the oxygen mask that dominated her face. She was so beautiful. It was a fact that he was well aware of, but he still couldn't stop himself from being struck by it at random moments. She was so, so beautiful. And he was so incredibly lucky that she chose him, that she continued to choose him.
"Toby-"
But the voice stopped. Everything stopped at the sound of a garbled groan coming from the bed. Her fingers twitched in his hands, tightening slightly around his. "Spencer? I'm right here, baby. I'm right here."
She groaned again, blinking her eyes open slightly and immediately shutting them again. She blinked them open again and found his eyes. They weren't focused. They were slightly hazy and cross eyed. But she was awake, and she was aware. She was okay.
"Alright, I'm ready."