A/N- Thanks to everyone who has embraced this story so much. It means the world to me. (J&J - thanks to my personal cheerleaders)

Jo- thank you for all your magical beta voodoo talent :)

Disclaimer- Castle is not mine, but all the mistakes are.

The More Things Change…

…the more they stay the same. Kate Beckett is bored with life, but when a serial killer starts dedicating murders to her- someone enters the scene to aid with the investigation and her life may never be the same. Season 2- AU Caskett meeting.

Chapter 13

She cried herself to sleep that night.

She had sent him away—for his own good, but it didn't mean it didn't hurt like hell. Sure, it hadn't been her idea for him to go, but the paparazzi scandal had created the opportunity for him to leave town on Paula's suggestion. Now that Castle was out of the area, if something happened to her or if someone came for her, at least he wouldn't have to be in the crosshairs of her family drama.

Kate woke up in the middle of the night with her eyes still red and puffy. The silence of her apartment left her feeling haunted, rather than peaceful. Wiping her hand across her cheek, she could feel the invisible path left by her dried up tears. This was exactly why she didn't want to get too close. Her heart was locked behind a wall of her own creation, but without her fully recognizing it, he had completely knocked it down. Knocked it down, but now she was left to pick up the pieces without him here.

He wasn't leaving her forever and he had even extended an invitation for her to stay with him for the holiday weekend. The problem was that she was at war with herself over it. Her desire to be near him was overpowering, but would she be putting him at risk by spending the weekend with him?

Tossing and turning for what seemed like hours, she finally flung her covers off of her body and rolled out of the bed. A shiver ran down her spine as her skin finally registered the cool night air; leggings and a tank top didn't provide much warmth outside of her blankets. She padded off to her dresser to rummage through it and find the first article of clothing to throw on to provide her with actual warmth. It took her a second in her sleep deprived haze to realize that she had thrown on her dad's old college sweatshirt.

Just what she needed, a reminder of what she had lost and why she needed to keep Castle safe. Brushing the sleep from her eyes, she found herself wandering into her closet. Almost like gravity or a moth to a flame, she was drawn to the paperwork on the case. If she was supposed to keep the information safe, she probably should find a better spot to keep things.

The bottom of her closet wasn't the most secure of places to hold the secrets behind her father's accident; she should move the paperwork into her floor safe where she kept her spare piece and a couple other important documents. It might be a tight fit, but it would be better than just leaving the copies lying around next to her shoe collection.

Gathering the papers into her arm, she flipped a light on and stepped into her living room and moved the rug that covered the floor boards hiding the safe. Carefully placing the files into the metal box, she couldn't prevent the curiosity from sparking within her.

"I promised to not investigate. I didn't promise I wouldn't look at it," she whispered to herself as she pulled the files back up from the floor and flipped open the first folder.

Four hours later and two pots of coffee, she was finally starting to understand the true danger that lay within the evidence. The danger wouldn't go away by just pretending it didn't exist. She loved her mom, but when it came to this case she didn't have the best track record as far as judgment went. Castle was out of town. There was no better time than now to look into this.

An insistent ringing woke her up.

Her sleep heavy mind took a minute to recognize the noise as the ringer from her cell phone. Groaning to herself, she opened her eyes to her surrounding and realized she had fallen asleep amongst the case files again. Since the day Castle had left for the Hamptons Kate had lived and breathed all the details of this investigation.

Yesterday, Montgomery had sent her home and told her that she wasn't allowed back at work until after the Memorial Day holiday. She needed to get her head back into the game. Between the random photographers still harassing her and her mind drifting to her dad's accident file, she wasn't as focused as she should be on her real homicide investigations. As much as she hated Montgomery for forcing her to go home, she had to admit he was right.

She removed the paper that was stuck to the side of her face, most likely from a combination of sweat and drool. When was the last time she showered?

Finally looking down at her phone, she identified the offending caller.

Castle

"Hey," she answered, still sounding half asleep.

"Kate?" She tried to suppress the yawn from escaping her lips but it was a lost cause. "Did I wake you up?"

"Maybe…" she hesitated.

"It's noon."

"Noon!" Her body shot off the ground and she stared at her clock in her kitchen. "Shit! How the hell?"

"Kate? Is everything okay?"

"Yeah. Yeah, Castle, I'm fine." She switched the phone to speaker and set it down on the floor so she could pick up the files spread across the ground. "Is there something you needed?" She could hear him take a sharp intake of air.

"We haven't talked since I left a couple days ago. I just—"

"It's been a couple days already?" she asked, not meaning to say it out loud.

"Yeah, it has. You haven't missed me that much, I take it," he joked, but she could hear the hurt in his voice. The fact that he was in the Hamptons was supposed to be a good thing, but a simple phone call was sabotaging things. "I wanted to see if you gave anymore thought to coming to the Hamptons."

"Castle—" She couldn't do this right now.

"Listen, just hear me out. I just found out that Alexis got accepted into a program at Princeton this summer so she won't be coming. And my mother is now working on a summer production, so it will just be me. All alone with my thoughts."

"Alone with your thoughts? That sounds terrifying," she laughed. The sound was foreign to her ears over the last couple days.

"Oh believe me it is. Think of all the writing I could accomplish. Please save me," he pleaded.

"I would hate to be the reason you didn't get the book done, Castle."

"You wouldn't be. Who knows, I could even finish it faster with your help. I find you very inspiring," he husked into the phone.

"Castle—yeah," she said, lost in thought. What she wouldn't give to be with him right now, but at the moment she was literally picking up the pieces of her life. Placing papers all back into their files, she stacked them neatly into the safe and locked it tight. Rubbing her hands down her face, she released the breath she was holding. "Rick—"

"So you'll come?"

"I can't."

"You can't?" Hurt laced itself into his question and tone.

"No, I have to work." The white lie fell from her lips before she could stop it. It was for the best if she stayed away from him right now. She was in a rabbit hole of her own creation and she shouldn't bring him down with her.

"You have to work on a holiday weekend?"

"Yeah. Some of us have to work for a living," she snapped. As she registered how harsh her tone was, she winced.

"Kate, I didn't mean—"

"No, I'm sorry for snapping. I've just had a lot on my mind the last couple days."

"Are people still following you around?" His question made her heart sink.

"Wait, what? Castle, how do you know about that?" she asked, in panic. Her voice was almost yelling into the phone.

"How do I—Beckett? The photographers? The reason I'm in the Hamptons?"

There was paranoia coursing through her veins. She needed to stop before this got any worse. "Right, right. I've seen a couple. Nothing intrusive," she stammered, trying to cover up her confusion.

"Are you alright? You seem distracted. I can call back later."

"Yeah, later," she whispered, not completely paying attention. "I'll call you. 'Kay?"

"Kate?" She could hear the question in his tone.

"I'm fine. Hopefully you can get some writing done. I'll talk to you later, Castle."

She disconnected the call before he could question her any further. Looking around her apartment, she took inventory of the mess her place had become. This case allowed her to lose herself for days without realizing it. Sighing to herself, she grabbed her phone, scrolling through her contacts before hovering over the call button.

She needed help.

An hour later, she found her mom pacing near a bench in Central Park.

"Hey Mom," she said, as she sat down on the bench. Their bench. The place where they would sit and talk for hours as they people watched on Sunday mornings. Now, everything seemed different.

"Katie, you sounded frantic on the phone. What's going on? Did you see someone?" Johanna questioned, her eyes flaring with fear. She sat down next to Kate and moved close. "No. I haven't noticed anyone. I just—"

"What is it?" Her mom had a blank expression on her face. Either she truly was as clueless as she seemed at this moment, or she had an incredibly valuable poker face.

"Why did you lie?"

"Why did I lie?"

"Yes. I know what you said. I know you said you were trying to keep me safe, but—I'm a cop. I can solve this."

"Of course I did this to keep you safe. I would do anything to keep you safe. I love you!" Johanna emphasized and squeezed Kate's arm. "And I know you're a cop, but you have no idea what we're up against."

"I looked into the file. I know."

"You looked?"

"Did you honestly think that I wouldn't? That I would just leave it be with the evidence sitting in my apartment?"

"Katie, keep your voice down," she hissed. "We have no clue if people are listening."

"And so what if they are listening? We need to end this once and for all."

"You don't know what you're saying. They'll come for you."

"Then let them come. I'm ready."

"What are you ready for Katie? This isn't a war. They'll kill you if you look any further. Hell they'll kill both of us if they knew there was any chance that they'd be exposed. They're powerful people."

"Mom, I told you. I know. I read the file. Basically have it memorized."

"Then if you looked so far into this—you know that what we have is all circumstantial. Someone on the force cleaned up all the actual records. There was a dirty cop involved, but we don't know who. So what we're left with is scraps. Little clues, but not enough to convict. Just enough to raise suspicion and get us killed in the process."

"How can you say that? How is it that you seem okay with just leaving it alone? Letting Dad's killer roam free…"

"I'm not okay with it! It makes me sick every time I think about it, but Katie, there's more to life than dying for your cause. There's a beautiful world away from the conspiracies and murder. I mean, look at you. It looks like you haven't slept in days."

"I've been holed up in my apartment. The press was having a field day, no thanks to you," she said, causing Johanna to wince.

"It was to keep you safe. Means to an end."

"Well, you wanted to know why I look like hell. There's your answer."

"So as punishment to me while you were on house arrest, you did the one thing you promised me you wouldn't do. You started investigating?" Johanna asked. Her expression confirmed Kate's fear; her mom was disappointed, as usual.

"You didn't just ask me one thing. You also made me promise that I wouldn't tell anyone. So because of that, I pushed him away!" Her voice raised a couple decimals, alerting the passersby to their conversation.

"Who? Rick?"

"Yes, Rick. The one person that could ground me. The one person that I'm starting to fall for. I pushed him away based on a theory of yours to keep me safe," she cried out.

"It's for the best."

"No, it's not for the best. Look at me! Nothing about this is okay. I can't be okay with just giving up on finding his killer, but I also can't push the man that I care about away. Not anymore."

"Katie, where are you going?"

"We're obviously not going to agree on this right now, but I need to go. I need to think."

Storming away from the park, she felt her phone vibrate in her pocket.

'In case you change your mind'

Castle had texted his Hampton's address.

Kate started to drive.

At first she wasn't going in a particular direction. She wasn't going to the Hampton's. She wasn't.

Yet, before she had completely registered where she was driving to, she was pulling into the driveway of Castle's summer getaway.

Wow. So this was how the other half lived.

God, who was she kidding? Why was she fooling herself into thinking she belonged with him? That she could have a relationship with him?

She sat in her car, staring up at the mansion as her heart pounded out of her chest. After quick intake of air and a brush of her hand through her hair, she swallowed down any lingering hesitation she might have had. He had invited her.

Castle wanted her there and that was all the reasoning she needed. Because she needed him in her life. It was selfish but it was necessary at this point. She shouldn't be this nervous. So nervous that she was trying to gather all the courage she could to move out of the car. He had invited her.

Standing on his front steps, she took a deep breath and rang the doorbell. Moments later, the door opened to reveal a beautiful blonde standing in front of her. Did she have the wrong house? She was about to apologize for her mistake when—

"Richard! You have a visitor," the blonde called over her shoulder, into the house. She was at the right place. This what she got for surprising him? Dammit, she was so stupid to believe him. Her mouth opened to apologize to the woman, but the words caught on her lips.

"Kate? You came!" Castle's voice rang through her thoughts and she couldn't help but hear the excitement in his words. It didn't make any sense.

"I'm going to get going," the blonde said, pecking Castle on the cheek.

"Have a safe drive back to the city."

The woman walked out the door after saying her goodbyes to Castle, but she moved right past Kate with nothing more than a smile and a wave. She wasn't in the mood to even try for an introduction either, so her lack of attempt didn't even faze her.

"Are you going to come in? My front porch is great and all, but the inside of the house is better," he said with a smirk.

Stepping into the foyer, she looked over at his confused expression and the tears she didn't realize she was holding back, finally broke free. "I'm so sorry, Castle. I'm so sorry."

"Beckett—Kate, what are you apologizing for. You're not making any sense," he said while pulling her sobbing body into his arms.

"My life is a mess. I shouldn't have come here. You were obviously having a nice time and I interrupted," she stammered, trying to move out of his arms.

"What are you—Gina? No, no. Gina's my ex-wife. Who also happens to be my publisher." The honesty in his eyes was undeniable, and with his explanation, the brick in his stomach dissipated. He didn't ask someone else up here after she initially declined.

"Your publisher?"

"Yes, publisher. She was in the neighborhood, and so took the opportunity to harass me about the book." He grinned. "Harassed is my word, not hers. She says she was picking up the latest chapter and 'checking up on the status of the book'. She can get a little high maintenance, but she's an excellent publisher."

"So I didn't interrupt a date?"

"Date? With Gina? God no! She showed up a couple hours ago. She was about to leave when you knocked on the door." He pressed a kiss into her hair and squeezed her a little tighter. "You didn't interrupt anything, but I'm surprised you came."

"I messed up. I lied," she whispered into his chest.

"You lied?"

"I didn't have to work. I was trying to—you don't know what a mess my life is."

"But you're here now. Kate, talk to me. You're not making any sense." Pulling away from his hold, she looked up into his eyes and the decision was clear.

"It's about my dad."

TBC

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