Chapter 61
February 1871 – Colorado Springs
"Welcome to Colorado Springs," a voice called, as the train whistled and screeched to a halt, waking Kid Cole from his sleep. He glanced over at Ruth, who was sleeping peacefully with her head leaning against her coat, which she was using as a pillow against the window. He smiled a little and stood up, stretching his tired and achy muscles. He put a hand on his new wife's shoulder and watched her pretty face light up as she woke.
"Time to go," he said quietly, as her dazzling blue eyes sparkled, and she smiled. Their little spat from the afternoon before was already long behind them. Their train had stalled on the tracks for a few hours, and they were only now getting in.
"Already?" She stood and pulled her coat around her slender frame, buttoning it up quickly, as the conductor began to clear the train car with no more patience than a small child.
"We best get goin'." He took her hand, and they started off of the train. Once they were out on the platform, Ruth stretched and yawned, and she looked around at the town surrounding her. She took a deep breath of fresh air and smiled as the sun began to warm up the cool February morning.
Kid Cole looked around, taking in his surroundings, looking for trustworthy-looking folks. The first person he spotted was a young man, about his age, with long hair and peculiar clothing.
"'Scuse me," he said, clearing his throat and walking up to him. Sully turned around and found himself looking up into the dark but kind eyes of a stranger.
"Can I help ya?"
"Where might I go to talk to somebody 'bout the sheriff's job." Sully eyed him for a moment.
"The town council, but…ya better hurry, 'cause they're decidin' right now." Kid Cole tipped his hat.
"Where might I find the town council?"
"Up at the church. Just across the meadow." He pointed the way. "I could show ya."
"That'd be real nice," Kid Cole replied, as they began walking.
"Name's Sully."
"Just Sully?"
"Yep." Kid Cole chuckled.
"I'm Kid Cole, and this is my wife, Ruth."
"Pleased to meet ya." Sully and Kid Cole shook hands, and Sully extended his hand to Ruth.
"Nice to meet you, Mr. Sully." She smiled a little and felt content with her surroundings already. Michaela saw Sully with the two new strangers, as she stepped out onto the porch of the clinic. Curious, she hurried over to see what was going on.
"Sully!" she called out. Sully stopped for a moment, and he smiled nervously at his future bride, his nightmare still weighing heavily in his eyes, as Michaela's pleasant dream still sparkled in hers. And, for a moment, Sully could hear the gunshot and feel her blood turn cold against his hands. "Good morning!"
"Mornin'," he said nervously. Kid Cole tipped his hat to the beautiful woman who linked her arm through Sully's. "This is my fiancé, Mr. Cole."
"Ma'am."
"Hello," she said with a nod, as they began to walk toward the church.
"Michaela, this is Kid Cole and his wife Ruth," Sully said with a nod.
"Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Cole," Michaela said with a smile. "I'm Dr. Michaela Quinn."
"A lady doctor?" Ruth asked, her eyes glistening with excitement.
"That's right," Michaela chuckled. "I understand that I'm…somewhat rare."
"Ya certainly are," Ruth laughed.
"Kid Cole's here 'bout the sheriff's job." Michaela nodded with concern, but she saw no excitement or anticipation in the young man's features. He simply looked tired and ready to lead a different life, which made her curious as to what life he had just come out of.
Jake Slicker, Reverend Johnson, Robert E., Horace, and Hank sat at the front of the church, watching Daniel stand awkwardly before them, expressing his opinions and his reasons for wanting to become sheriff.
"And, I think that if I'm sheriff, I could stop a lot of…unwanted problems." He couldn't help but shoot Jake an icy glare, which the rest of the council noticed as well. Jake didn't even bother to look up.
"Well, you've given us a lot to think about, Daniel," Reverend Johnson said with a wise nod. "You are the only applicant that seems genuinely interested in the well-being of the town. If we were to hire you…you'd need a deputy." Daniel nodded positively. "After all, this town is growin' by the day, and you can't be in two places at once."
At that moment, the door opened, and the town council stood to see who was disturbing their meeting.
"Sorry to interrupt," Sully said, clearing his throat, "but we got another candidate for sheriff. Thought ya might be interested." He stepped out of the way, and Kid Cole walked in. Everyone was taken aback by the young man that was dressed in black from head to toe.
"And who's this?" Jake asked with irritation in his voice.
"Name's Cole," the man replied, his voice a bit gravely, but his eyes full of confidence. The council members glanced back and forth at one another.
"Cole…" Horace's eyes widened. "As in Kid Cole?"
"Some folks call me that," he replied quietly. Reverend Johnson placed his hands in his pockets.
"Well, come on in," he said quietly. "Dr. Mike, Sully…if ya could wait outside…"
"Sure thing, Reverend." Sully and Michaela led Ruth outside and shut everyone inside of the church.
"They seemed rather surprised to see your husband, Mrs. Cole," Michaela said quietly, glancing up at Sully. He shrugged a shoulder, letting her know he wasn't certain of who Kid Cole was either.
"Oh, call me Ruth, please. And, I'm surprised ya ain't heard of that husband of mine." She shook her head and chuckled with exasperation. "I wish more folks didn't, but they keep comin'."
"I'm afraid I don't understand."
"Oh, a couple years ago…'fore he met me, he got a reputation as a…a gun fighter. He's been in trouble with the law, but…but he really is a good man. He does things for good reasons, and all he wants is to…to help folks. But some folks would rather come after him…try to make reputations of their own."
"That must be very difficult for you," Michaela said gently. Ruth simply gave her a thankful smile. "If he has a reputation for being a gunfighter, he…"
"Don't worry…he don't use his gun unless he has to," Ruth pointed out. "I don't like that he has it, but I know he's gotta do what he needs to to keep himself alive." They stood for a few moments, as the sun seemed to glow hotter than usual for February. Michaela took a deep breath, and her head began to feel dizzy. Sully noticed her beginning to sway, and he reached for her hand.
"Here…ya better sit down," he said quietly. Michaela looked up, noticing Ruth eyeing her.
"You alright?" Ruth asked quietly. "You're lookin' a little pale."
"Yes, yes, I'm fine," Michaela said with a nervous smile. And at that very moment, Michaela felt a strong pain rip through her abdomen, causing her entire body to ache. She gasped, and Sully quickly kneeled down on the steps to place his hands on her shoulders, trying to look into her eyes. But, she was doubled over, crying and gasping in pain.
"Michaela! Michaela!" he urged. "What…"
"Sully…I need…I need Charlotte." The tears in her eyes told him that something was definitely wrong, and this time, the hope seemed to be fading fast.
"Is there somethin' I can do to help?" Ruth offered, wringing her hands nervously on her skirt.
"No, Ma'am. Thanks," Sully said quietly. "I gotta get her back to the clinic to rest." When Sully scooped Michaela up into his arms, Ruth stood there, shocked and uncertain of what to do. Something told her that these two needed her help, but another part of her told her it wasn't her concern. Everything was going to be fine. She worried too much…that was all.
"Congratulations Mr. Cole…Daniel." Both men shook the hands of the town council members, as Jake slipped out the back to have a drink at the saloon. "I hope ya ain't disappointed that we made ya deputy, Daniel, but Mr. Cole does have more experience in dealin' with…well, with criminals. We know how much ya wanna help this town."
"That's alright, Robert E. Thanks for considerin' me." Daniel and Kid Cole clasped hands, and Daniel cleared his throat. "What do ya say I show ya 'round our new office, Mr. Cole?" Kid Cole nodded his head.
"Sure, but I think I'd like a drink first." Daniel chuckled and followed Kid Cole out of the church. Ruth was standing there, staring off toward town.
"You wanna give the new sheriff of Colorado Springs a kiss or not?" he teased, pulling her into his arms. He noticed the distant look in her eyes. "What's the matter?" She shook her head, certain that all was going to be alright, and she gave him a peck upon the lips.
"Nothin'…sheriff."
"Deputy Simon," Kid Cole said, as he put his arm around Ruth's waist, "this is my beautiful wife Ruth."
"Nice to meet ya, Mrs. Cole," Daniel said with a nod. "I'm Daniel Simon…your husband's deputy."
"It's good to meet you," Ruth replied. Kid Cole noticed her glance back toward town.
"Somethin' on your mind, darlin'?"
"Oh, no. Mr. Sully just took the lady doctor into town. She wasn't feelin' well, and I was worried."
"Wasn't feelin' well?" Daniel asked suspiciously. He'd noticed her not feeling well lately either, and he figured it was about time he talked to Sully about it. But, before he could give it another thought, Carrie came walking across the bridge. She smiled at the sight of him, and she waited for the news.
"Well?" she asked.
"Well, you can say hello to your new sheriff," Daniel said, pointing to Kid Cole. Carrie's eyebrows raised.
"I hope ya ain't sore at me, Ma'am. To tell ya the truth, I'd be just as happy bein' the deputy."
"No, I'm not sore," Carrie laughed. "I suppose this is a good thing, Daniel."
"Why's that?"
"Well…now we can leave." They all stood in an awkward silence, before Daniel cleared his throat.
"Uh, Mr. Cole, I hope ya can forgive me, but I ain't feelin' much up to a drink right now. Maybe take a rain check?"
"Sounds fine," Kid Cole replied. "C'mon, Ruth. Let's go find ourselves a place to stay." He grinned at the twinkle in her eyes, and they started off toward town, while Daniel folded his arms across his chest.
"So that's it?"
"What?"
"All this time we been goin' around about whether or not we're stayin'," Daniel said testily. "Sometimes ya seem like you'd like to stay, and then ya go and say somethin' like this." Carrie sighed heavily and put her hands on her hips.
"We ain't doin' this now, Daniel," she said with exasperation.
"Oh we ain't?"
"No!"
"Why not?"
"'Cause I don't wanna fight with you."
"So you really wanna leave?" He watched her shift her weight from foot to foot.
"Honestly? I don't know, Daniel. I just been thinkin' about the world I'd be missin' if I stayed, but…but a part of me says that I already seen enough of the world to last me a lifetime."
"Well, you best make up your mind, 'cause I can't keep goin' on from day to day wonderin' when you're gonna change your mind next." Taken aback, Carrie's eyes widened.
"Well, ya know what? I think I might change my mind right now."
"That right?"
"Yep. You can find yourself another date to the Sweetheart's Dance." She turned around and started off toward town, but Daniel reached out for her, refusing to let her win this time.
"Hold on. Just…wait a minute."
"Why should I? You afraid I might change my mind again?" Daniel shook his head.
"I don't understand you sometimes, Carrie. The night we kissed…"
"That was a long time ago."
"Not really," he pointed out. "Ya didn't want me to tell ya I love you. But ya told me ya cared about me too."
"I do, Daniel. I just…"
"Well, do ya love me or not?"
"Daniel!"
"It's a simple question."
"Simple? Nothin' is simple anymore, Daniel. Ya don't understand."
"Make me understand," he insisted. Carrie shook her head.
"If I keep runnin', I don't have to keep thinkin' about everything. Every time I pass by that barbershop, I feel his hands all over me. I feel everything, Daniel. I do want to…to stay here, but…" She swallowed hard.
"I don't want ya to hurt because of him. Not anymore. If he's the reason ya wanna leave, we'll leave right now. We'll go pack, and we'll get out of here. Believe it or not, Carrie, I love you, and I ain't afraid of sayin' it. I want to be with you, and if bein' with you somewhere else is what it takes, then so be it. We'll go. But only if it's what ya really want."
"I don't know what I want anymore," she admitted. "But I ain't lettin' Jake control me. I'm bigger than that. I can…I can live here."
"If it's what ya want." She looked up into his eyes, and his hands gently rounded her shoulders. They'd been avoiding this for so long—this unspoken need to connect—and now they were standing before one another with their defenses down. She was afraid of hurting, and he was afraid of causing that hurt. He knew he couldn't be selfish…not when it came to Carrie. If he was selfish, he'd lose her forever.
"What I want is…" Her eyes cast downward for only a moment before she gathered up the courage once more. "You." And they came together under the cool February sky, and from a distance, a mother watched her daughter connect with her soul mate, something she knew she herself should have done a long time ago.
"This is it then?" Daniel asked quietly, when they pulled apart. "This is it?"
"Yes," she breathed. "I do…I love you. It's just hard to say when ya ain't said it before." Daniel breathed a sigh of relief, and he pulled her close, holding her and feeling the warmth of her arms around him. This was his chance to give her what she deserved in life, and he only hoped that he wouldn't fail her too.
"Just rest now," he whispered, smoothing her hair back, as he stood by the examining table that he had placed her on. She was trying to steady her own breathing, and he was doing everything he could to help her feel better, but he knew there was nothing he could do to stop nature from taking it's course. He only hoped that it would stop. He only hoped that this wasn't really the end.
"The pain's gone," she whispered. She blinked her tears back. "Sully…Sully, I'm frightened."
"It's alright. It's alright. I'm right here." She shook her head. Those words were of little comfort, but his being there kept her focused. "Whatever happens, I'm right here." Visions of his dream…of his killing her and their child came tearing through his mind, causing him to try to hold back his tears.
"Sully, I don't know…I don't know if it's going to last," she cried. "I don't know if it's meant to be."
"Listen to me, Michaela. Listen. If it wasn't meant to be…it wouldn't have happened." She shook her head in frustration.
"It happens all the time, Sully!"
"Not to us! You hear me? Not to us! Not this time." His hand gripped hers, and he gently kissed her there. "Just squeeze my hand. When it hurts, you just squeeze my hand, and focus on that." She shook her head.
"Sully, I'm so…so afraid. I don't want to lose our baby…"
"Ya won't. It's gonna be alright. I ain't gonna let nothin' happen to you." She went to speak again, but the door opened quickly, and Charlotte slipped inside.
"I saw ya comin' across town. What happened?"
"She doubled over in pain at the church, and…"
"What were ya doin' out there?" Charlotte scolded. "Ya shoulda been restin'."
"I…" Michaela swallowed hard, and Sully took a step back, feeling even guiltier. He should have insisted that she go back and rest instead of going across to the church.
"How's the pain, Doc?" Charlotte wondered.
"It's gone," Michaela said quietly. "The pain…it's gone." She placed her hand upon her abdomen, and she closed her eyes. She didn't know how much more she could take. Sully's fingers threaded through hers, and as they both prayed for their child's life, Sully prayed that his dreams hadn't been a premonition of this very moment. He couldn't lose either one of them. He was willing to do whatever it took to make sure both of their lives were spared, though he knew that in this situation, he was absolutely helpless.
February 1871 – Boston
"Fiona?" Elizabeth hurried over to the woman and clasped her hands in hers. "It's really you?"
"Hello, Miss Elizabeth," Fiona said with an almost maternal tone to her voice, though in all reality, they were around the same age.
"Fiona, it's so wonderful to see a familiar face," Elizabeth said with a teary smile. She embraced the woman for the first time in years, and she felt relieved to have a piece of her past standing right in her foyer.
Martha quietly took her leave to tend to dinner, and when Elizabeth and Fiona pulled out of their embrace, they eagerly went into the parlor, closing the doors so they could talk privately.
"How are the children?" Fiona asked immediately. Elizabeth smiled sadly and prepared herself to recount the details of her present life and the lives of her daughters.
"Rebecca has a girl of her own now. Little Mary will be six this year." Fiona smiled proudly. "And Michaela, my youngest…she's getting married. She lives out in Colorado Springs."
"You don't sound so happy about that," Fiona said quietly.
"I'm happy that she's happy. I suppose I'm just letting my past…get in the way of my being happy for her. I know this is what she wants, but it's hard for me to understand, because…well, I know what it's like to think that the man you love will be that same man for the rest of his life." She shook her head. "Anyway, Claudette and Maureen are…somewhat happily married with their own families. Marjorie's going through a terrible time…"
"Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that," Fiona said with a sad frown. "And…?" Elizabeth understood, but she shook her head. "Oh…" Fiona cleared her throat. "I'm so sorry."
"It's been a long time, Fiona. There's no need to apologize for something neither one of us could control." Fiona's grim smile spoke volumes.
"Well, your daughters seem lovely, Elizabeth. I only wish I had been here to watch them grow." Elizabeth smiled a little.
"You had your own life to live, Fiona. Nobody blames you for leaving. I was probably dreadful to you. I don't blame you!"
"You never said a sour word to me, Miss…at least nothing that couldn't be taken back or forgiven." They shared a mutual smile, and Elizabeth took a deep breath.
"It's been a long time." Fiona nodded. "How is your family?" At that question, Fiona absolutely blossomed.
"Margaret is married now. I'm a grandmother!"
"Oh, congratulations!" Elizabeth clasped her friend's hands. Fiona beamed with pride.
"I never thought I would even be a mother, but I suppose your life can change in the blink of an eye. Before I knew it, I was up to my ears in motherhood."
"It does hit you quickly, doesn't it?" Elizabeth asked. She shook her head. "I only wish I'd spent more time with the children when they were young. It seems that all I have left are my memories, and those aren't so clear anymore."
"It's natural to forget things."
"There are things I wish I could forget, but they've never been so clear before, Fiona."
"The scars of our past stay with us forever," Fiona said wisely. "Miss Elizabeth, I wish you wouldn't worry." A look of remembrance came over her face. "I almost forgot why I came!" She pulled out her money pouch. "The first thing I did when I found out my son was bringing me to Boston was grab this. You…you lost it years ago." She pulled out a familiar chain that held a gold band that still sparkled like the day she'd received it. Elizabeth's hand flew to her mouth, and she gasped in shock.
"Where…where did you find this?"
"I don't know," Fiona said honestly. "The night I left…the night you gave birth…I hadn't found it until it was too late."
"I've been…searching for this for years. You've had it the entire time." Elizabeth closed her eyes, trying desperately to remember.
"I hope you aren't angry with me. I would have sent it to you, but I feared you would think…you would think I took it on purpose. I know it was foolish, and I hope you can forgive me. I hope…" She slipped the delicate jewelry into Elizabeth's palm, and Elizabeth's eyes glittered with tears.
"I think I remember…"
October 1831 – Boston
"I can't do this anymore, Fiona," Elizabeth cried, as her hands gripped the sheets of the bed. The pain was more intense, and it wouldn't be long now. Josef was waiting in the hallway, unable to do anything, as Dr. Oliver Miller delivered the child. Elizabeth's child. Stephen's child.
"You're doing fine, Ma'am. You're going to be alright," Fiona soothed, wiping the sweat from Elizabeth's forehead. "Pretty soon your little one will be here, and the pain will be gone."
"I can't," Elizabeth cried, her mind slipping in and out of consciousness.
"She's feverish," Fiona pointed out. "She's beginning to…"
"The sooner this child gets here, the sooner I can treat the mother. You just stay up at her head and keep her talking."
"I need him," she whimpered. "I need Stephen. He wants to see his child. Fiona, please get him for me. Get Stephen. I can't do this without him!" Fiona moved across the room to the washbasin, and she wrung out a damp cloth. Elizabeth clutched something in her hand; something hidden from all eyes, and when Fiona came back to the bed, Elizabeth's hand dropped and the wedding band fell into the pocket of Fiona's apron.
"Please stay calm, Miss Elizabeth," Fiona breathed. "Be strong. This is our last night together, so don't give up on me. You have to be strong for this child so you can wake and tell me goodbye." She smiled a little, as Elizabeth began to scream in pain.
"Elizabeth," Dr. Miller urged, "you need to push now."
"I can't! Stephen! I need Stephen!"
"Would you like me to bring your husband in for a moment?" he asked.
"Stephen…"
"No, Miss Elizabeth…it's Josef, remember?"
"Mother wants me to marry Josef. I want Stephen," Elizabeth cried. "Please…please…" Fiona swallowed the lump in her throat, and she took Elizabeth's hand.
"Push! You can do it! Push hard!" Elizabeth, hearing that voice in her ear, grew a new strength that she'd thought was lost. And, she began to push with the renewed strength in her body, she felt her past begin to leave her, as a new life slipped into the world.
Minutes later, the cries of a newborn baby shattered the screams and reduced Elizabeth to tears of happiness. Fiona smiled and held Elizabeth close, as Dr. Miller examined the newborn baby.
"Congratulations, Miss Elizabeth," Fiona said softly, stroking the side of her hair. "He's beautiful."
"He?" Elizabeth asked.
"He," the doctor agreed. "You have a health new son, Mrs. Quinn." Elizabeth breathed out sharply and reached out for her baby, the spitting image of his father. The baby cried against his mother's bosom, but after a few calming words, his cries began to dissipate, and he fell asleep against her chest.
"A son," Elizabeth whispered. "A son."
February 1871 – Colorado Springs
Michaela woke, stiff and sore, and she wondered how long she'd been asleep. The last thing she remembered was Charlotte asking her how bad the pain was. After that, she must have passed out, and that scared her. Her heart could not understand what was happening, but her head knew. She knew.
"Sully," she whispered, straining to sit up and feeling even more pain. She collapsed against the mattress, and she closed her eyes tightly. "Sully!"
"Michaela…I'm right here." He moved from the balcony doors to Michaela's bedside, and he grasped her hand. "I'm right here. It's alright." Michaela shook her head, tears stinging her eyes.
"No it isn't. Nothing is alright. Nothing…"
"Michaela…ya passed out, and…"
"You don't have to tell me, Sully." She swallowed hard and let the tears burn her eyelids. "I already know." She watched as his gaze fell downward. She took a deep, shaky breath. "Our baby's gone, isn't it?"