A/N- Back to Kate's POV
Jo- Thank you for all of your amazing help. It's truly appreciated.
Disclaimer- Castle is not mine, but all the mistakes are.
The More Things Change…
…the more they stay the same. Kate Beckett is bored with life, but when a serial killer starts dedicating murders to her- someone enters the scene to aid with the investigation and her life may never be the same. Season 2- AU Caskett meeting.
Chapter 17
Kate sat on the hospital bed staring off into space.
This was not the way she'd intended to spend her weekend. Yesterday she was supposed to be wrapped up in Castle's arms after having the romantic dinner that she imagined. Instead, they had eaten hospital food and watched bad TV before she passed out from her painkillers.
Not much of a date, but at least she was with Castle.
As she sat waiting to be discharged, her irritation was increasing by the minute. The doctors didn't want her to leave the hospital so soon, but she wouldn't take no for an answer. She didn't want to stay at the hospital for a couple broke bones and some cuts.
Maybe she was being stubborn. Maybe. But she knew all the physical injuries would heal; what she wasn't so sure of was how well her bruised ego would recover.
Someone had attacked her in her own home and she'd let them. She couldn't defend herself; what kind of cop was she? The only silver lining in the situation was the fact that Castle didn't show up in the middle of it. She shuddered at the thought of what could have been if he was there; he could've been hurt because of her.
"Deep in thought?" She jumped, lost in her self-deprecating internal monologue.
"Dr. Davidson! Sorry. Just thinking. Didn't even notice you standing there," Kate said with a laugh.
"I told you. Please call me Josh." He smiled at her as he moved further into the room.
"Yeah, it still seems a little informal for a doctor patient interaction."
"I've never been one for being conventional," he said with a wink.
"Mmhmm. Just so you know, you're not going to convince me to stay longer. The nurse said she would process my discharge."
"You're right. She is. I just wanted to make sure you had someone to watch out for you. You can't be chasing down any criminals until your ribs are healed. Even then, your arm will still be in a cast."
"I don't need you to list off all my injuries again. I can feel them," she snapped.
"Kate, I'm not saying that. I'm just saying as your doctor—I need to be sure that you're in good hands..."
Castle walked through the door holding two cups of coffee interrupting whatever the doctor was trying to say. His timing was uncanny. Handing her one of the cardboard mugs, he brushed a kiss onto the top of her head.
"What's going on?" he asked. "Get your paperwork yet?"
"Not yet. Dr. Davidson was just expressing his concern for my well being. He wanted to make sure I had someone to take care of me," she explained, taking a long sip of her latte. When she bought her own coffees they never tasted this good.
"It's my responsibility as her doctor. I need to know that she's going home to capable hands." So maybe Josh was trying to be a good doctor, but she couldn't help but feel like he was trying to hit on her. She laced her fingers with Castle's and set down her cup.
"My hands are more than capable," Castle responded, his words colored with double meaning. She jabbed her elbow into his side before this turned into another Demming-type jealously situation.
"I'm staying with my boyfriend for a couple days while my apartment gets cleaned up and re-keyed," Kate explained, squeezing Castle's bicep for reassurance. "I appreciate your concern, but I'm fine." She leaned up to kiss Castle on the cheek to emphasize her point.
"I'll leave my phone number with your paper work so you can call if you need—" Dr. Davidson explained, but she interrupted.
"It's not necessary. I'll schedule an appointment with orthopedics this week so I think I'm all set. Thank you for all your help," Kate said with a smile.
"Yes, thank you, Doctor," Castle grumbled.
As much as he didn't like the man, Castle seemed to want to remain polite. Last night while they were lying down together, pressed tightly against each other in the small hospital bed Castle had told her about the doctor's assumptions about him. Needless to say, Kate hadn't been too pleased to learn that her doctor had basically accused her boyfriend of beating her up. The man had only been doing his job, but it bothered her that Castle had to deal with that on top of everything else over the last couple days.
"Goodbye, Kate. Goodbye, Mr. Castle," Josh said with a tight smile and walked out the door. She couldn't argue the fact that he was a wonderful doctor. Maybe in another life she would've found him interesting as more, but in this life? No one could compare to Castle.
"Can we please never see him again?" Castle whispered into her ear as he pulled her carefully into his arms. She just shook her head and laughed before changing the subject.
"I was able to get in touch with my mom while you were gone. She wasn't too happy about the private security."
"Well I thought that was a good compromise," he said.
"It is. I can't get cops involved because I don't know who I can trust aside from the boys and I don't want them mixed up in it. The private security, the fact that you offered to set that up… It was really sweet."
"But she's mad about it?"
"Yes. You've managed to upset your biggest fan," she said with a laugh.
"I thought you were my biggest fan?" he teased.
"My Richard Castle fan-girling all started with her," Kate admitted with a smile. "It's for her own good though. I want her to be safe."
"Good. I wouldn't want to lose a fan!" He chuckled and wiggled his eyebrow at her. Shaking her head at his antics, she got lost in her thoughts for a moment. Was she safe?
"Are you sure it's okay for me to stay with you? I don't want to make Alexis or your mother uncomfortable." Maybe staying with him wasn't the best idea. They could all get hurt because of her.
"Beckett," he started, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear. "I was happy you asked. I would've insisted if you didn't. I want to take care of you."
"What if—"
"No what ifs. It's going to be okay."
"And they're okay with it?" She leaned forward to press herself further into his body.
"They love you, Kate."
"I could just stay with my mom. I just wanted—I wanted to be with you. It's completely selfish."
"Not selfish. Not at all," Castle said, nuzzling his nose into her neck before he feathered kisses down to her collarbone. "You, in my bed as I nurse you back to health - I can't think of anything better."
"Hate to break the news, Romeo," The nurse interrupted, walking into the room and causing the two of them to break apart. "Ms. Beckett's cracked ribs will prevent her from being involved in anything strenuous."
Castle released a nervous laugh and Kate felt the warmth of her cheeks. It was like they were two teenagers who just got caught by a parent. Kate cleared her throat and turned to the nurse.
"Paperwork?"
"Paperwork," she said handing her the discharge slips. "You two are free to leave. Just take it easy," she added with a wink and a laugh.
Nope. Not embarrassing at all.
Kate loved his bed. The slide of the silken sheets against her skin, the smell Castle's cologne on the pillows, and the way she just sank into the luxurious mattress. At this rate she might never leave even if she was wanted too.
They'd been home for a couple hours and he had refused to let her move or do anything for herself. Every time she winced in slight discomfort, Castle was there at her side adjusting the blankets or getting her a painkiller.
She knew he was just trying to be helpful, but he was being a little over the top. Not only was he being overbearing, but since she woke up he had been on edge.
Every so often he would start to say something, but his voice would cut out before he could get it off his chest. And it didn't necessarily seem like it was a good something. If his hesitation was nervousness about whether or not she heard him confess his love for her, she would've put a stop to this nonsense and she would've told him that she remembered.
It definitely wasn't a conversation he wanted to have, whatever it was.
"I ordered the pizza. Anything else I can get you right now?" Castle asked, walking back into his bedroom.
"Castle—Rick, I'm fine. Stop worrying about me." He started fluffing her pillow, but she grabbed his wrist before he could fuss any further. "I'm serious."
"I just can't…" His voice trailed out and she pulled him down to her on the bed.
"Hey. Hey. Talk to me," she said running her hand down his cheek, drawing small circles with her thumb. Kate leaned into his body and pressed a kiss onto his lips. Barely moving away from his mouth, she whispered, "I'm here."
"I know you are, but I was almost too late Kate. Finding you like that—it scared me to death. To see the woman I…" He stopped again. No, Castle was a man of many words and she wouldn't let him stay silent.
"The woman you? Castle?" she asked. She knew. She did, but he needed to say it. Until he said it when she was awake, she wouldn't believe it was real.
"The woman I love. I love you Kate. To see you lying there…" His voice cracked and his words fell silent.
"Hey. Castle, I love you too," she murmured against his lips, brushing away the tear rolled from the corner of his eye. "I would've never wanted you to find me like that, but I'm so grateful you did. I owe you everything."
"You love me?" His question was filled with astonishment.
"Is that even a question? Look at everything that's happened since I've known you—Castle, you've completely changed my outlook on things. I've never had someone in my life that cared for me the way you do…"
"I wanted to tell you in the Hamptons."
"I did too," she admitted while resting her forehead against his, gently cupping his cheeks.
"And then, when I saw you at your apartment…I thought I missed my opportunity. I thought you were gone and you'd never know the truth," he said, his tone so unsure, so tentative.
"Castle, I knew. You didn't have to say it. I could see it in your eyes when you looked at me… and your smile, as you listened to me tell you about my day. You're an amazing man." Brushing her nose against his, she met his lips in a kiss that started lazy but grew in intensity before she broke the connection, blushing again at the recollection of the nurse's chiding words.
"I'm amazing because you're in my life. You inspire me," he breathed against her skin, running his hand down her arm in a completely soothing fashion.
"Are you real?" Kate asked as she carded her fingers through his hair, curling her fingers against the shell of his ear. "My boyfriend is such a sap and I think that makes me love him more." Her hand trailed down the side of his face and her thumb traced the outline of his lips as Castle pressed a kiss against the tip.
"Before the pizza comes, I have something I need to tell you. While you were in the hospital, I talked to someone in the waiting room…"
She had changed her mind. Whatever he needed to say, whatever bad news he needed to share, she didn't want to ruin this moment in his arms. His news - the nurse's warning - would wait.
"Shhh," Kate husked as she lowered her lips to his ear. "Enough talking. You said you love me. Now show me. Just be gentle."
"Oh, I can be gentle," he growled into skin.
Sure, it wasn't the easiest to maneuver with one arm in a sling, but she needed him. Whatever he had to tell her could wait.
A cell phone's ringtone woke them both out of a deep sleep.
"Yours?" Castle asked with a yawn.
"Mmhmm," she hummed. Her mind was still heavy with sleep and painkillers. She wasn't even sure how the ringing woke her up.
"Here. It's Ryan," he said looking down at the screen before he handed it to her.
"Thanks," Kate said clearing her throat. "Beckett."
"Kate…" Her partner's voice sounded off.
He was using her first name. They boys never used her first name.
Unless…
"Ryan? What's going on? It's four in the morning." She didn't want to panic so she tried to calm her racing heart. No need to assume the worst.
"We had a body drop."
He woke her up for a case? "Okay? Ryan, you know that I was just released from the hospital, right? I'm on leave for at least a week." There had to be someone else that could assist with this.
"Beckett, I know. That's not why—the victim. It's Royce." Her heart dropped.
"Wh—what?" Her voice was broken. This couldn't be happening. She had just seen him at the precinct a couple days ago.
"Kate, Royce is dead." The phone fell from her hand and she flung her unsteady body from Castle's bed, racing into his bathroom.
She was going to be sick.
"Kate? What's wrong? What did Ryan say?" Castle's questions as he trailed behind her were filled with love and concern, but she could see the fear in his eyes.
"My friend," she tried to explain, but she had to choke back the bile. "He's dead. Mike Royce. He was my training officer," Kate managed to get out before she started being sick. She felt Castle gather up her hair and rub her back as she leaned her head against the cool porcelain.
Her stomach was completely empty before she calmed down enough to sit back on her heels. Castle stood up and walked to the sink bringing a wet wash cloth to wipe her face.
"You okay?"
"Yeah. I'm sorry. Just struck a nerve. We lost contact and it was years since I talked to him… but last week I talked to him while you were in the Hamptons. He was fine," she said, choking back tears.
She glanced over at Castle to find his face ghostly white.
"Kate," he said. "I met him."
"You what? Wh—when?" she stuttered.
"In the hospital on Friday, he was there…"
"He was there? Castle, I don't. I don't understand. Why was he there? And why did you not mention it?"
"I tried to tell you earlier. I've been trying to find the right time to tell you, but as usual, there's never a right time."
"He was at the hospital, but I didn't see him?"
"No, he said he wanted to talk to me."
"Castle, you're not making any sense. What did he want if he didn't want to see me?" She watched as Castle jumped to his feet and rushed into his bedroom. After she heard things being shuffled around, he was back by her side.
"Kate, he wanted me to give you this…" He reached for her hand that was free of the sling and placed a folded up piece of paper in it. She looked down at it and up at him. Castle's eyes were shining with unshed tears; he looked terrified.
"Can you give me a minute?"
"Of course. I'll be in the bedroom," he whispered, placing a quick kiss on the top of her head before walking away.
Staring down at the paper in her hand, Kate took a deep breath. It was like Pandora's Box. Did she want to open it? Did she want to know what it was? With one last sigh, she unfolded the paper with one hand.
It was a letter.
Kate,
I'm so sorry. You were never supposed to know the truth. I was supposed to protect you, but you got too close.
Her eyes slammed shut before reading any further.
Royce.
Her friend.
Her mentor.
He was involved.
TBC
Thank you so much for reading this! Hope you enjoyed it. I'd love to know what you think!
(J&J Thanks for your constant support and friendship.)