Jo- Thank you for the awesome beta help and listening to my crazy ideas and telling me they're not that crazy.

Disclaimer- Castle is not mine, but all the mistakes are.

The More Things Change…

…the more they stay the same. Kate Beckett is bored with life, but when a serial killer starts dedicating murders to her- someone enters the scene to aid with the investigation and her life may never be the same. Season 2- AU Caskett meeting.

Chapter 18

It was a letter.

Kate,

I'm so sorry. You were never supposed to know the truth. I was supposed to protect you, but you got too close.

Her eyes slammed shut before reading any further.

Royce.

Her friend.

Her mentor.

He was involved.

Leaning back against the head rest of the passenger seat, Kate closed her eyes tight.

Castle had understood enough to offer to drive them to the crime scene; he could tell how important this was to her.

Now, she was just trying to keep it together on the drive, the letter that Royce had written her clutched in her hand. She had refused to put it down, but she also couldn't bring herself to read any further.

Not yet.

First she had to see him; she had to see that it was real. She released a jagged sigh as she felt Castle smooth his hand across her knee, lightly rubbing soothing circles. Before long she felt the car stop as Castle pulled up to the curb and parked. Her eyelids were heavy as she forced herself to open them.

"Hey, are you sure? You don't want to remember him like this…"

Sure, he had a point, but she couldn't think logically right now. There was no way she couldn't see for herself, and if Royce was involved in some way with her dad's murder then his killer could also be involved.

"Castle, if it was me lying there would you just walk away?"

Kate made a beeline for the yellow crime scene tape where she found Montgomery blocking her way.

"Where is he?"

"Turn around and go back home, and let me handle this, all right?"

"Sir, I've seen dead bodies before," Kate said, pushing past him toward the scene as she shoved the folded up letter into her back pocket. Lanie looked up from the body as she and Castle and ducked under the tape.

"I'm so sorry, honey," Lanie stated, her expression tight and controlled.

"Just tell me what happened," Kate said, glancing down at Royce's body and then rubbing her uninjured hand over her face. She started to rock backward from the weight of the day, but before she could lose her footing Castle was behind her with a hand supporting her waist.

"He was shot in the leg first. Judging from the blood trail, I'd say the bullet broke the bone. He tried to hide, but… I found this in his pocket. He just flew in from Los Angeles this afternoon." Lanie went on to explain further, but she zoned out. Leg first and then he was shot in the head. Royce's lifeless body was more than she could handle. She caught a sob that was rising in her throat.

She refused to breakdown at a crime scene.

"Thanks, Lane," she whispered. She couldn't listen to anymore; couldn't stomach the dead ends that they would no doubt encounter. Nothing about this made sense. She took one last look at his body and then laced her fingers into Castle's hand to pull him back to the car.

As soon as they were both inside with the doors shut and engine running, Kate turned to Castle completely puzzled. With her emotions under control, her mind was racing with ideas of what could've happened.

"He flew to LA for one day?"

"That's what it sounds like."

"Yeah, but it doesn't make any sense. Why did he come to the hospital and then hop onto a transcontinental flight?"

"Maybe…" he started but his voice seemed to lose confidence. It was like he was afraid of saying something to upset her.

"You think I should read the letter, don't you?"

"I think it could possibly give insight to why he made a quick trip. It sounded like it was his way of explaining…"

"What if I don't like what I read?" she asked.

"What if you don't look?"

She released a long sigh. "You're right."

"I know."

"Don't gloat," she said with a small smile.

"I'm not. Sorry. Do you want me to hold your hand while you read it?"

"No. For starters, I'm not that clingy of a girlfriend. Secondly, I have one good hand right now and I need that to hold the damn letter," she huffed.

Her arm in the splint was getting really old and it had only been a day. Maybe the orthopedic doctor would have good news for her this week when she had it set in the cast. Leaning her body to reach for the letter from her back pocket, she looked down at the folded up paper and sighed.

So she was going to read it.

She could do this. She could.

She just didn't want to.

'I want to make this right kid. I don't want you or anyone else you care about get hurt over something stupid I was involved in.

My friends and I made some horrible choices when we were first on the force. We thought we were making the city a better place, but in turn we were living outside of the law.

Innocent people got killed and our ideal of making the city a better place was lost when more powerful people found out.

We paid high prices and not just monetary to keep our sins hidden.

Then your mom investigated a case that led to the cover up and could potentially reveal the identity of the man whose power only increased from the blackmail he had on all of us. Your mom never got that far in her investigation. She only found out the overview. She never was able to find names. She didn't know about me. I'm sure if she would've looked further…

That's where your dad's accident came into the story.

Kate- you have to believe that I wasn't involved in that. My only sin was being responsible for giving this man his power.

He's hungry with it and has no issue in taking out anyone that could stand in his way.

When I met you at the Twelfth I promised myself that I would make this right in some way, no matter how long it took. I knew that you would make the best cop and you're an even better detective now. I'd like to tell myself that I had some hand in making you great, but you far surpassed anything I could've had any influence on.

Kid, you're electric.

But when I saw how great you were, I knew you'd stumble on this somehow. I tried my best to keep you out of the line of fire. I tried to keep the target off of your back even when you had no idea there should've been one there in the first place.

I'm sorry, Kate. I'm sorry to your mom. She found the wrong thing at the wrong time. I'm sorry for your dad. I wish I could've stopped that.

The man is in LA. I'm going to put an end to this. This will end so you can have a long, happy carefree life.

I don't want you to look back on things and think…

…If only.'

She couldn't breathe.

He basically had gone on a suicide mission to try to keep her and her family safe.

"Castle," she choked out as tears streamed down her face.

"I'm here. Whatever you need. I'm here."

"We need to go to LA."

Kate was in Castle's bedroom packing them a small bag for their trip. There was no way she would risk going back to her apartment, she would just have to make do with the clothes she already had at his place.

"Kate? You have a visitor…"

"Visitor?" she asked, turning toward the door. Her mom.

"Katie…" Johanna said, walking into the room and pulling Kate into a hug.

"Hey Mom," she muffled the greeting into her mom's shoulder.

"Are you sure about this?"

"I'm going to give you two a minute," Castle said, smiling at their hug.

"Thanks Rick," Johanna replied. He left with a nod and her mom turned back to her. "Are you sure?"

"Mom, it's the best lead we've had. Royce died trying to right his wrongs. He died trying to end this. I need to bring those responsible to justice. I owe it to Dad. Hell, I owe it to both of them." She was still heartbroken about the fact that Royce was involved in the domino effect of this cover-up, but in the end he had tried to fix his sins.

Nothing could bring her father back and hating people for their mistakes wouldn't bring her peace.

"These people nearly killed you already. I can't lose you. I just want you to be smart about this. Shouldn't you bring the LAPD into this? Get actual cops to help you. Rick is great, hon and I'm sure he'd follow you off of a cliff if you'd ask—but he has a family too. He has a daughter that loses her father too, if something goes wrong."

"Trust me, I know that. The idea of something happening to him? I would die before I'd let anything happen to him, but he's the only one I trust to help me with this. If I tried to do this on my own, I could see him sneaking off and meeting me in LA anyway. It's easier to just bring him along in the first place," Kate explained the best she could to her mom.

There wasn't a right answer in this.

Everything about this was dangerous and reckless and irresponsible.

She knew it, but she couldn't live the rest of her life with a target on her back. She would never be able to have the type of life she wanted for herself or with Castle with this hanging over her head if she knew that any day, someone could come back and finish what they couldn't last time.

She sucked in a breath and her sides ached from the bruises and cracks in her ribs. It was the reminder she didn't need, but it emphasized her point.

This needed to end.

Ryan and Esposito had briefed them on everything they found out about Royce's murder. It wasn't much but at least they had some idea of where he had gone while he was in Los Angeles.

It was better than nothing.

Sinking into the first class seat that Castle insisted upon, she pulled his hand to her lips and gave it a quick kiss.

"Thank you."

"No need to thank me," he said, shaking his head while turning to kiss her hair.

"You're risking everything. Risking it for me. I just can't help but feel like I'm not worth it."

"That's where you're wrong. You're worth everything." His eyes carried such love and concern. She wasn't sure what she ever did to deserve his love, but she cherished every second of it.

"I love you," she whispered and pressed a kiss onto his shoulder before curling up into his side. "Let's talk about something else. We have a long flight and I need to not focus on what could happen…"

"Oh, I forgot to tell you. The studio called me about the Derrick Storm movie. They wanted me to do a set visit, so that gives us a perfect excuse for being in LA," Castle explained.

"Look at you, my boyfriend's so cool now he's in the movie business." She rolled her eyes at him but her smile betrayed her. She was really proud of him.

"It was in the works for awhile. I'm surprised you didn't know about it."

"I knew." It seemed like it was forever ago that she had heard Ryan and Esposito talking about it on the night that Dunn first called the precinct. That case had changed her life forever.

"Because you stalk my fan sites because you're a huge fan," he teased.

"Or because before I knew you—your face was plastered over several media outlets about it," she objected with a laugh.

"Maybe they'll make Nikki Heat into a movie one day." Oh that would be crazy. Seeing her alter ego on screen? Maybe not such a great idea.

"You'd have to finish it first," Kate said, nudging her elbow into his side.

"It's been with my publisher for a week now."

"You finished it?"

"Yeah, I was going to tell you when I came to see you. I even had a copy to surprise you with."

"You what? I understand I was in the hospital, but why didn't you mention it before now? And Castle, where is my copy of the book?" she demanded.

"I was going to wait and give it to you when we got back," he explained.

"Would've nice to have it to read for the flight, but I'll forgive you."

"You better," he smirked, reaching down into his bag. "Because I changed my mind." Castle handed her a copy of his draft.

Heat Wave

Oh God!

Yep, she would get made fun of for this.

"Why is she naked on the cover?"

"I was very inspired," he said with a wink.

TBC

Thanks for reading! I would love to hear from you :)

(Joanna and Janna- you guys are the best cheerleaders a girl could ever ask for)