Author's note: HAHAHAHAHAHA HAAHAH AHAHAHAHA AHAHAHAHA AHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA! GASP, GASP, GASP.

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jameis

Subject: want to play a vore rp with me pretty please

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EKUSUUU DEEEEEEEEEEEEEE HEEEEE HEEEE HEEE I LOVE THIS WEBSITE

Actually I don't but this was funny as hell when I opened my box today. I figured somebody was gonna be bitching at me again because I make fun of their things. Which are also my things. Because I have the rare ability to laugh at my things when they're stupid. Unlike most people around the interbutts. Which is sad.

Chapter 5: Lucky that I am such a hottie

Last time, on Blen 10!

Our prepubescent sex god was failing at life or something. Like usual.

"VILGAX, HONEY? WHERE ARE YOU?" Ben screamed into the vast expanse of delicious oxygen and clouds. A bird shit in his mouth. "AW, FUCK ME WITH A RUSTY CHAINSAW!"

He wiped furiously after hacking up the rest of his lunch which was Lunchables because they're awesome until he got the taste of birdie poos off his sensitive tongue.

As if on cue, Vilgax's long penis-tentacle-pair o' plyers ship thing flew overhead and stopped abruptly with the comical sound of a screeching needle being plucked from a record. A "record player" is a thing that your mommas and daddys had back in the 1960s for which to play music off of. I'm sure Google has a nice picture of one.

"BEN, MY LOVE!" Vilgax shouted from the open doorway before plunging to the ground below, hitting it with the force of a thousand atom bombs, and then standing up like no sweat what so fucking ever because he's VILGAX. Then he began skipping rather effeminately toward Ben, who was flat on the ground having been jostled by the force of the impact when Villy landed. "Oh, Ben! Sugar baby! I'm here for you!"

The massive monstrosity and former conqueror of like half the galaxy scooped up Ben's form in his giant, sinewy, muscular agreen arms and cuddled him tightly while a torrent of crystalline tear waterfalls flowed from his beady, blank red eyes down his cheeks.

"This is totally in-character for me, fuck off, haters, you don't know shit about canon. Like Dwayne McDoofie. Oh, Ben! My love!" Vilgax weeped heavily.

"How dare you insult a dead man!" Gwen shouted, appearing from the heavens above. No, wait, she just jumped out of a random tree. I don't know how she got there. USE YOUR IMAGINATION.

"Gwen, we're kind of in the middle of something here," Ben grunted, finding the strength to pry his quivering lips from Vilgax's own.

"What the fuck are you doing, Ben? I thought you and Vilfagz hated each other!" Gwen screamed, stomping her innocent little foot into the lush, sun-kissed earth. "And I thought you were in love with ME!" At the thought of not having a proper daily dicking from her 10 year old doofus cousin, Gwen's ovaries exploded out of self-defense.

Grandpoo Max's head appeared out of a gopher hole. "Did some bitch's ovaries just explode? Or do I need to get this hearing aid replaced?"

"No, Grandpa, that was me," Gwen began to cry with her face in her hands. "FUCK MY LIFE, NOW I'M GONNA DIE A VIRGIN!"

"Uh. Didn't you fuck your cousin enough times to have like fifteen or so babies?" Grandpa inquired.

"I was gonna convert to born again virgin which negates all previous incestual pregnancies," she told him.

"Good for you then honey. If you need me, I'll be in the Rustbucket having indecent relations with the coffee pot." He sank back into the ground without further utterance, leaving no trace but the wafting stink of old man farts.

Meanwhile, Ben and Vilgax had progressed to "almost rape but not quite rape, so technically it's not rape and is pretty consensual. Except it's not" sex on the lawn.

"OH MY GOD YOU MOTHERFUCKERS, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" Gwen screeched like a dying cat crossed with a dying bird who were both being slowly burned to death while a handful of teenage boys laughed mercilessly while filming it for Youtube.

"Urgh, I can't fuck-make love-almost rape you to that awful noise, Ben." Vilgax stood up while readjusting his armored pantaloons. "Bitch totally ruined the mood! I'll see you laters." He began to walk with great thundering strides back to his waiting dick-ship.

Ben's mouth dropped open in dismay. "NOOOOOO! THERE WAS GONNA BE SOME DICKBUTTS!"

The audience began to weep in unison, for they also wished to see some dickbutts. No dickbutts today. Sniffle!

"Ben," Gwen growled while grabbing her idiot cousin's head within her hands firmly, squeezing his cheeks, "think of Jesus while you look at my nonexistent boob-buds, and remember. You are a hero. Also you fuck women. And ONLY women. Like me. Your cousin! Is that clear, you stupid fucking dipshit?"

Unsure, Ben nodded anyway. His cousin was fucking scary like that. It was like she was constantly on the rag. Hell, maybe she was. She was very fertile for her age. Which was 10. 10 years old. Eeeeeeeeyep.

"Ben Tennyson!" shouted a dirty old man voice. Surprisingly it did not originate from their disgusting pedophile grand-paw.

"What the fuck? Dr. Animal?" Ben gasped.

Sure enough, there was Doctah Wack-A-Mole, standing there, looking all ugly and weird. He smelled like animals, yo. You would too if you hung around them all day. And also never washed your nasty butt, like, ever. Seriously, does he even change his clothes? I don't think so. Nasty, nasty.

"It's DR. ANIME, YOU FUCK!" he yelled, ripping open his stained wifebeater and exposing his Otaku cred badges.

"WHATEVER, AIN'T NOBODY GOT TIME FOR THAT." Ben shook his head aggressively. "How the hell are you alive? Didn't your head explode some odd chapters ago?" he inquired.

"What, you were paying attention to this shit?" Dr. Anime looked appalled. "You're such a loser!"

Ben grinded his teeth furiously, looking ready to slap a bitch. "I'll show you what a loser I am when I'm shoving an alien dinosaur foot up yo ass!" He bit into his Ozzie-n-Drix and warp-Digivolved into HUMUNGADRAMON!

Oh no wait LOL LOL LOL he fucked up and went Gaymadder instead.

"God damn it," Gaymadder whined in his whiny not Invader Zim Richard Horvitz voice. "FUCKING CHINESE PIECE OF SHIT FAILURE I HATE YOU!" He inspected the inscription on the OmniTrixisforKids more closely and found out his rage should have been directed at illegal immigrants chained up in sweaty labor camps for it said, quite clearly "HECHO EN MEXICO" on the back.

Dr. Anime smashed the fuck out of him with his much larger foot.

"Suck that, bitch!"

"No, get off my sexy cousin, you fucking creep!" Gwen cried.

She hurled herself into the good doctor's midsection, finding the scent collecting there not as unpleasant as she would have thought at first, and they tumbled to the ground together. And they laid there, unmoving, for a long time.

About twenty seconds. Until Doc Amnimal shoved her off and screamed like a little girl who saw an icky spider or Jew and was like "AAAAH, GET AWAY FROM ME, I'M NOT GOING TO PRISON FOR PEDOPHILIA, THEY RAPE YOU THE HARDEST AND MAKE YOU BLEED AND THEN THEY FORCE YOU TO EAT YOUR OWN SHIT!"

"Yeah, I know. That's what we tried to frame you for that," Ben said once he changed back into his kawaii old self and dusted himself off. "We don't like you. Duh!"

"Well I don't like you either. Which is why I made THIS!" Doc Amnimal whipped out a big laser looking thing and held it above his head. Everyone just now began to notice that part of his head was sliced off and had been replaced by a glass dome that exposed his brain. Fucking gross. WTF.

"What is that?" Ben yelled fearfully.

"It's my EVIL MACGUFFIN DEVICE!" he shouted and then cackled madly.

"No, I mean that thing on your head that's not your skull where I can see your brain," Ben corrected. "How the fuck did you even do that to yourself?"

Doc shrugged with a noncommittal "I 'unno. The same way I grafted my head onto a fat, stinking, flea-infested dead gorilla in the future?"

Ben pondered for a second. "Makes sense, I guess. And by that I mean it makes no sense whatever, but fuck it."

"Exactly," Doc agreed. He lowered the stupid thing and grinned with disgustingly yellow canines toward little Benji-kun. "Back on topic, this device I created through means which I am never going to explain, and neither is the story, is going to fuck up your life even worse than it already is, Ben Tennyson!"

"Oh god, no. It's going to give me a 5th season instead of letting this fatigued, completely toy sale motivated series finally die a semi-dignified death, like it should have died after one fucking season?! NOOOOO! PLEASE, NOT THAT!"

Ben collapsed to the ground, sobbing fitfully.

"I don't wanna go on! I don't wanna! P-please, don't shoot that gun, Doctor. I'll do anything! I-I-I'll suck yo di-"

"Bawammo," Dr. Dorkenstein said as he gleefully flipped the switch and fired.

Ben was now a full four-legged cat, instead of just having kitty ears and a tail desu. Holy shit.

Continuity.

"HOLY SHIT!" Gwen screamed.

"Holy shit!" Ben chorused. Only it came out as "MEOW MEOW MEW!" Because he couldn't speak the English any longer. He's a fuckin' cat.

Dr. Animo was laughing his bony ass off.

"Now you'll never use your dick again!" he sneered. "Because cats have barbed dicks and nobody wants that fuckery all up in they business! HA HA FUCKING HA!"

With that, the evil mad scientist guy ran away really fast, leaving a crying Gwen and traumatized Ben to come to terms with their situation.

OH NO, NOW WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN? STAY TUNED FOR NEXT TIME, KIDDIES!

Whenever that is.