Behind the scenes: Hearsay Evidence (rated M)

There is a reference to a scene from Tonight's episode, January 8th. Spoiler alert.

Behind the scenes with Leslie and some Alex thrown in too:

Leslie screamed at Amy, "Well, screw you and your dumbass boyfriend! I hope you're very happy together."

Sheldon could barely contain his glee, "Oh you cunning little vixen. You eviscerated her!"

Amy giggled like a school girl when he pulled her into his arms. Sheldon nuzzled into her neck and nibbled on her ear lobe as he halfheartedly scolded her, "You come in here with your temping green eyes, with that beguiling colored sweater, dispatch my rival with your rapier wit all while referencing grammar rules? Are you trying to drive me wild, woman?!"

Amy wormed her way from his arms, "Well, Sheldon, it's your fault looking like a stallion in that suit." She licked her lips and brushed her hand up his shirt to his neck tie. She grabbed it and pulled him close to her lips, "If you didn't have to get to a meeting with the board in 10 minutes, I would throw you on that tidy desk of yours and use this tie as handle while I rode the Texan outta ya." Amy sniffed him like a flower and let him go. "But alas, no time."

"AMY! You can't say stuff like that in here! Now I can think of anything else when I'm at desk." Sheldon looked to his desk and loosened his tie slightly. Amy re-tightened it and tapped him gently on the cheek.

"Don't worry, I'll make it up to you. For date night, I'll bring Strunk and White's Elements of style. I'll read you a passage on the subjunctive clause."

Sheldon snorted and looked away with a pout, "Well, that doesn't even…"

Amy smirked and said flatly, "While I'm naked on top of you eating a banana the PROPER way."

Sheldon stood up and brushed off his suit, "Okay! Here's dangling participles!"

"Oh my!"

The interaction reminded her of the time she joined Sheldon in his office for lunch the week before. Amy had brought lunch for the couple including some fruit. Sheldon rolled his eyes when he saw it there was a banana.

"God, lord, woman. It's hard enough to concentrate today without your faulty eating habits."

"What?"

"You know I hate the way you eat bananas! Why do you insist on torturing me?"

"FINE, if you lock the door, I will eat it normally; like a tramp, if you must know!" Amy was about to throw the banana at his head.

"Thank you!" Sheldon locks the door as requested. The couple started their lunch, conversing about the day. Finally, Amy started to eat the banana by slowly pulling down the peel like a stripper removing her gloves. Sheldon is too busy discussing what he was working on to notice, at first. She placed her lips around the long yellow flesh and bit down gently. Sheldon watched her mouth as she licked the tip and then wrapped her bottom lip around the fruit. Amy chewed the bite and licked her lips while observing Sheldon's ever watchful eye on her mouth. Sheldon cognitive processes slowed to a crawl as she devoured the fruit, one torturous bite at a time.

"So, you see… Amy… I was… the Proton decay as the … reaches… Oh, you're taking that much in.. Oh god lord woman, I didn't know your mouth could do that."

Amy finished the fruit but just for effect, she gaped her mouth open slightly and ran her middle finger back and forth over her bottom lip, "Do I have anything on my mouth, Sheldon?"

Sheldon shook his head blinding. "Um.. No…not… Hey, got anymore bananas?" Just as Amy was licking her fingers, Sheldon heard the door handle jingle and then a loud knock. He jumped up like a cat near a rocker, and rushed to the door, out of breath and sweating bullets.

"Oh um, Alex.. yes.. well…what are you doing here?""

"I brought the data you wanted."

"I'll get it later… Just take the day off, I am done in for the day. Thank you." Sheldon slammed the door and locked it.

Amy smirked at his response, "So tell me, Dr. Cooper, have you decided which is more distracting? Horizontal or vertical?"

"Vertical, Amy… Definitely."

Behind the scenes: Emily:

"Amy, I'm not so sure about this…" Sheldon concerned glower couldn't shadow Amy's view of her adorable boyfriend seated shirtless with a towel pinned around his neck. Amy held in position her new Flobee that she ordered one night after far too much wine. She had tested the device, but the results were less than successful. Amy thought it was her long hair to blame, not the machine. She was wrong.

"Sheldon, relax. I can do this since your hair is so short already. Just sit still." Amy started the machine and Sheldon immediately started to sweat. He worried he would have to wear a crew cut like his father gave him during the dreaded, "Let's Man up Sheldon Summer."

Amy placed her hand on his shoulder to steady her nerves. She moved the machine to his neck, but started too low. The hose latched onto his neck and wouldn't let go. "Okay, hold on, let me try again." Amy pulled back and did a new location. Again, the same result. She tried three more times till she figured out to start with his hair. Unfortunately, Sheldon had had enough.

"Amy, you're like horde of ticks! What in the devil is going on back there?"

"I'm sorry Sheldon. Let me try again." Amy held the hose but the attachment broke off and scratched his back. He let out a yelp and tried to jump away but the hose directly hit Sheldon tender neck. Sheldon winched in pain and tried to pull off the hose while Amy chased it around his hands. Finally, they got it off.

Sheldon was breathless, "Amy! What in the devil?"

"Oh Sheldon, it's a piece of crap. I'm sorry. I never should have ordered it. It only use is causing aggravation and annoyance."

"Yeah, we have Howard for that." Sheldon smiled at his own joke. Amy smiled too, but she was too embarrassed by her blunder of a purchase.

Sheldon held her hands, "Well, it sounds like I'm going to have to go back to barber Penny after all."

Amy's lips pursed up, "I don't want her making you like sex on a stick again."

Sheldon brushed her worries off, and stood up to put on his shirt, "My appeal goes way beyond my hair, Amy. Hey, maybe I could use this machine to keep my groupies away." Sheldon laughed but Amy was not amused. She turned her back to him and started to make tea little to eagerly. Sheldon knew she was upset. Her head was at an angle 10 degrees lower than a normal Amy hunch. He walked up behind her and placed his hand on her shoulder. Amy turned around, and Sheldon saw her eyes were watery.

"Amy what is it? I'll get a haircut! Don't worry, I won't start the bongos again."

"No, Sheldon. It's just… Ever since we became intimate… I've been worried that you will… you know…"

"What Amy? Haven't I've been doing it right. I mean we only been trying since New Years, but I did a lot of research. I mean, that blasted book from Leonard was useless. It didn't tell me about that thing you do with your muscles down there. A little warning next time would be nice! That was an eye opener…"

Amy giggled, "No, no Sheldon. Everything is perfect that way. No complaints. Like at all. Like none.."

"Then what is it?"

Amy brows furled in worry and she lowered her tone to a hush, "Well, sometimes in a bout of low self-confidence, I just worry that now you've opened yourself up to a sexual relationship, you will use your new found prowess in bed to you know… play the field so to speak. Like I was only spring training for you, or something."

Sheldon laughed, "Ha! Not to over use the metaphor, but you're not spring training, Amy. You're the Super Bowl. Amy let's just be honest, if it wasn't for you, I would never do anything like that. We are physically close because I love you and I want only you. If you weren't in the picture, it would never happen. Like at all. Like none…" Sheldon smiled when he repeated her words back to her. Amy felt a wave of relief instantly.

"Thank you Sheldon. I feel a lot better." Amy grinned, but Sheldon was sure to check the angle. He let out a relieved sigh when he saw she was back to normal.

Sheldon went back to pick up the machine, "Well, let's see if this thing is good for anything else." Sheldon turned on the machine and grew a devilish leer, "I wonder if it can help me take off all those the layers of clothes you insist on wearing indoors. I bet I can get through the first two before you leave the kitchen."

Amy let out a squeal and ran toward the other side of the kitchen, but Sheldon blocked the only exit. Amy was trapped, just how she liked to be when she was hunted by Sheldon.

She remembered that New Year's Eve when everything started. Sheldon seemed nervous all night and his constant swallowing and licking his lips was driving Amy batty. Right before the count down, Leonard opened a bottle of champagne for everyone. Sheldon screamed in pain like he was hit with the cork and asked Amy to tend to his life threatening injury. Penny called him a big baby, but Amy still slumped down and drudged off with him to the bathroom. She didn't want to miss her countdown or her New Year's Eve kiss, but the boo's and ouchie clause of the agreement was in full effect. As soon as Sheldon and Amy entered the bath, Sheldon locked the door.

"Okay, Sheldon let's look at this so called life threatening injury of yours. I think you are over… Oof!"

He pushed Amy against the wall of the bath and trapped her between his arms. "I take it then, you are not injured, Sheldon?"

"Please… that cork was nowhere near me. I think I know the angle of trajectory of simple parabolic curve. Speaking of curves…" Sheldon ran his hands up the sides of her waist slowly like he was molding clay. All the while, his darken pupils, elevated heart rate and low breathy growl signaled she was seeing a new side of Sheldon Cooper, and she liked it. He had been drastically more affectionate since Christmas and Amy hoped it wasn't just the egg nog talking.

After Christmas, Sheldon offed a new proposal named operation Whoopie. It was a schedule for growing intimacy over the next year culminating in coitus for next New Years. Amy signed up, no questions asked. She couldn't believe Sheldon was willing to try so she was thrilled. Secrecy was the cornerstone of the agreement.

"Amy Farrah Fowler. You've been driving me crazy all night with your hair clip askew and your hands on your knees, tempting me to touch them. You licked your lips no less than 8 times tonight and don't think I didn't notice you watching my mouth all night, begging me to kiss you."

"Oh, I'm sorry… I think…" Sheldon pressed his chest against hers and held her head with his hands, "I'm not sorry.. not in the least..."

"I been thinking about our new agreement, Amy, and I was thinking we might need to adjust the time line given your tempting habits."

"I see, yes, I think that is a good idea, because what you are doing now to my chest was not scheduled till after Labor day." She could feel his hands move up her chest and lightly squeeze her breath. His hot breath on her cheek warmed more than her face.

He couldn't face her when he asked. He moved his mouth to her ear and breathed out his confession. "I been wanting to ask this Prom, but couldn't do it. Stay the night with me, Amy. Leonard will no doubt have gone home drunk with Penny in a few minutes. We will have the apartment to ourselves. "

Amy was feeling what he meant on her thigh. She used Sheldon's arms to brace herself up, "I would love to stay with you, Sheldon." The couple heard the countdown start, however, they couldn't hear it end through their mutual moans from their heated kiss.

The couple would have stayed in forever, were it not for Penny's banging on the bathroom door, "Sheldon Cooper, you big baby. Get out here and give your girlfriend a kiss for New Years!"

After they broke apart, Amy and Sheldon left the bathroom but only after Sheldon put on a band-aid and sprayed the room with Bactine. He thought his ruse was very cleaver, but he had to see if Amy would fold under Penny's scrutiny. But Amy was a stone. She said nothing to her friends about what Sheldon said. After everyone left, Amy and Sheldon went to the bedroom and had their first night together.

That night started it all. The couple was timid as they laid next to each other exploring each other and stripping off clothes at a snail's pace. Sheldon was so nervous, he almost backed out. That was until he saw Amy naked, and his schedule went out the window. Sex the first few times were awkward at best. , but Sheldon more than made up for everything with eagerness and determination to get it right, no matter how many times he had to do it. Repetition was definitely Sheldon best quality. The couple spent most date nights indoors with take-out that was often ignored in favor of other activities. Sheldon wanted to keep their doings secret, and Amy agreed. As much as the girl's teased her about Sheldon's lack of interest, she never said a word. Amy found keeping the secret was almost as exciting as the prospect of sex itself. Almost. Not quite.

None of the timid hesitation was at play that night they tried the Flobee. After Sheldon trapped her against the counter, he playfully pulled at her clothes with the device. Amy cute squeals were nice, but Sheldon didn't just want to tease her. His demeanor changed and he turned off the machine. Amy always felt weak when Sheldon would give her a look that made her feel like the most desered woman in the universe. Sheldon always started with Amy's hips before he pulled her into a steamy kiss that heated up to 373 Kelvin. As spontaneous as they had become, having sex in the kitchen was still not on the menu for the novice couple. Sheldon led Amy to bedroom and within minutes, they were naked tangled together like vines.

Sheldon was a conscious lover and no matter how many times he had touched Amy, his favorite activity was to find the softest spot her body. Love making could take hours with Sheldon Cooper, but Amy was no rush. He fascinated with texture changes of her breast, in awe of her skin's color changes as she reached orgasm. When Sheldon finally merged with Amy, every thrust and pulse was met with a slow kiss. When the their heated coiled bodies finally pulled apart after release, Sheldon always pulled Amy on his chest for a few brief moments before he showered.

"Amy, I am so glad you and I discovered this together. I can't fathom feeling that sensation and not opening my eyes to see your face."

"Nor can I Sheldon."

"Even with Zack?" Sheldon insecurities were came through that night as well.

"Nope. I think I saw him more like the electrodes in my brain, rather than the person I wanted to give my virginity to. When I saw his dumb face, I knew better. I knew I wanted it to be special. I am so glad I waited, and when I feel that ultimate release, I only see you."

'Well, hopefully, we won't see Zack anytime soon. I don't think I would like seeing him near you again."

"I seriously doubt we will, don't worry, Sheldon."

Zack:

Amy had almost had it with her stubborn boyfriend. He had been droning on for 20 minutes how since he is not going to the bridal shower, he is not required to buy anything. She had to listen to his moans on gift giving customs and why could they just go to Planned Parenthood like he wanted to do.

Amy let out an exasperated sigh, "Look Sheldon, I'll make you a deal. I will go with you to Planned Parenthood next week, if you go with me to mall to the lingerie store. Penny wants something sexy for her first night as Leonard's wife and present buying is non optional social convention for a wedding." Amy didn't want to bring up the fact they still need to buy a wedding gift as well, and a groomsman's gift for Leonard. Baby steps, she figured.

"I don't see why she wants to wear ANYTHING on the wedding night. I mean, he's seen everything on and off of her. No reason to dress up the cow when you're already eating the ice cream."

"Um, Sheldon, I can't stress this enough, never say that to Penny."

"Fine, but isn't the idea just to consummate the marriage? Well, that ship as sailed from the port long ago! A useless state sanctioned document and an expensive party isn't going to change anything, other than their tax status. Hey, maybe we can go to HR Block after Planned Parenthood!"

"NO!"

The couple finally made it to the lingerie store. Sheldon was not pleased to be surrounded by ladies unmentionables and was nervous as a whore in church. Amy, on the other hand, was thrilled. She thought she might be able to find out what kind of lingerie Sheldon liked, and surprise him for Valentine's day. Amy walked over to the garter belts and showed Sheldon how they worked. Truth was, Amy was just as clueless as Sheldon when he came to the garment.

"Well, I think it would be hard to this darn fool contraption open. Reminds me of my sister's nursing bra. My nephew would starve before she got that thing open… You better practice with those things before you have to wear them, Amy. " Amy could not believe her ears. She just stood there, confused at his passing comment. Just as Sheldon was about to go into a tirade on the benefits of nursing bras, Sheldon saw a familiar hulky figure walk toward them. It was Penny's ex Zack but more importantly, it was the first man Amy ever showed a sexual attraction towards and Sheldon was not pleased. He shifted in front of Amy to guide his lustful gaze of his woman. Amy touched his arm and smiled at him. She whispered, "I only see you." Sheldon finally relaxed as Zack droned on blissfully unaware.

The encounter went well at first. Sheldon and Amy were informed about various articles of clothing, and Sheldon thought it was quite informative. Everything was going well till Sheldon showed off his agile fingers and popped Amy's bra opened. Sheldon couldn't wait to try the technique later, but Amy was enraged. He was worried he would receive another strike like he did when he finally confessed to Amy his deceit to Kripke. He was cut off from touching her for a week and had to be subjected to a seething oral discord at his Amy Class. It was the worst week of his life.

"Sheldon Cooper, I swear to god, I can't believe you did that! Oh my god, you are such.. Why would you think that would be okay? Should I pull down your pants in the store? Don't answer that, you probably like it! This is the definition of a misogyny, you bastard! UGH!"

"But Amy, I need the practice! You know…" Sheldon looked at her chest again and swallowed.

Amy remembered his comment on nursing bra and the implication, "Okay Sheldon, we will talk about it later." She was blushing. It was the first time he had ever indicated he would want to have a child with her, or she was confused. Either case could be true, but talking about it in front of Zack was not appropriate.

"I look forward to yet another oral discord from you." Sheldon tried to force a smile, but Amy softened and said seductively, "I think you will find my oral arguments will be less… scathing this time."

Sheldon looked her over and blushed. He lightly tapped Amy on the top of her hip. She blushed again and ran off to pick out a few things.

Sheldon watched her the whole time Zack stood there elbowing him about oral this or something; Sheldon wasn't listening. Amy returned with a large number of items and gave Sheldon a disciplinary look.

"Forgive my behavior, Amy. My mother would ask for a refund on my cotillion training if she knew. "Sheldon hung his head, but his big blue eyes floated up begging forgiveness.

"Well, to make it up to me, guess who is buying all this stuff?"

"As you wish." Sheldon went to the counter to pay for the heap. Thankfully, Sheldon thought, Zack left before he made any more remarks in front of Amy. Amy asked the clerk to put some of the purchases in a separate bag. Sheldon was confused, "Why a separate bag?"

"Oh, some of this is for us."

Sheldon stopped before he ran his credit card, "AMY! We don't need any of this stuff."

Amy bent her head to Sheldon and whispered, "I want to look more appealing for you."

Sheldon swallowed and whispered to her, "Amy, that a physical impossibility. The best thing you wear to bed is a smile."

"Sheldon, you are just getting out of paying for things."

"Amy, even if you bought all this stuff, I would never want to see you in anything other than your own skin. Your purple sweater does more than this whole pile. Just wear that to bed, and I'll do anything you want." Sheldon opened his eyes slightly wider for emphasis.

Amy melted and told the waiting clerk, "We just need these few things, thank you." She smiled at Sheldon as she put all the rest of the items back.

Mrs. Wolowitz:

After the lingerie store, Amy had promised Sheldon she would take him to Planned Parenthood to pick up pamphlets. He wanted to make gifts bags for the bridal Shower with samples of pills, pamphlets and condoms. To top it off, he wanted to show how to properly apply a condom and if none of his sage advice took, finally ended on a demonstration of the quickest way to unfasten a nursing bra.

Amy tried to talk him out of it, but he was adamant. They walked into Planned Parenthood and were met by a nice middle age lady with a kind voice.

"Can I help you?"

Amy seemed very nervous, but the lady was used to anxious women coming through the door, "What are you here for, honey. We can help."

Sheldon answered smugly, "Bridal shower gifts."

Amy rolled her eyes and shook her head at the confused lady, "He just needs pamphlets and samples. Thank you for your patience."

A little while later the couple left the clinic. Amy was still arguing about the gift, "Sheldon, I usually I don't balk at your attempt to educate Penny, but if she wanted to know, she can find out herself, or ask me! Penny is going to hate this."

"Nonsense! They need to make sure I am not an uncle too soon. I've had to listen to their pre-marital coitus for years. Finally, she can listen to me. Planning ahead is the best part of pre-marital coitus."

Just then, the couple ran into Stuart and Mrs. Wolowitz. Sheldon was usually not too upset about Stuart, but he also never tried to get handsy with his women. After some pleasantries were exchanged, and a recipe for Rugala, they left.

Amy smiled, "Mrs Wolowitz is very sweet."

"Yes, but I doubt your recipe will go over. I mean what's the point of baking if you don't use butter? Yuck."

"Sheldon you can make delicious baked goods without animal products or use very little."

"Nothing is better than my brownies, which take a least a pound of butter. "

"I can make a brownie with half that, and it would taste better."

"HA! I'd like to see you try!"

"What, are you challenging me, Sheldon? You want to take me on? Challenge accepted!"

"It's on, sweetheart. Prepare to weep at the glory of my baking genius. Winner decides what we do for the rest of the evening. And how we do it." Sheldon devious leer wasn't lost on Amy. The baking contest could come soon enough.

Too be continued…

A/N:

I hope you are getting what you want from these behind the scenes. More to come. We still don't know about the Mrs. Cooper Skype call, what Penny and Bernie didn't see nor what was going on AFTER that call Wil Wheaton heard.

I wanted to give some background why Shamy was intimate and how the gang didn't know. I hope I explained it. This is not a SHamy first time story. More like a Shamy 50th time story. I hope you were okay I glossed over that detail.