Chapter 67

February 1871 – Colorado Springs

"Everything seems to be progressing well, Dr. Quinn," Dr. Bernard said frankly, as he waited for Michaela to return from behind the changing screen.

"You're certain?" Michaela queried, still uncertain of what to believe. She was still feeling tired and achy, but she felt lucky to still be carrying the child that so many people believed shouldn't even exist.

"Quite certain," he chuckled. "Have you been resting each day as I've instructed?"

"Yes," Michaela replied. "I wanted to ask you about that."

"Yes?" Michaela slowly stepped out from behind the screen, her eyes filled with worry and determination at the same time. "What is it, Dr. Quinn?" She took a deep breath and straightened up. They could speak doctor to doctor. He was her colleague, after all.

"My mother is ill, Dr. Bernard."

"I'm sorry to hear that," the older man replied quietly.

"Yes, thank you," Michaela said quietly. "She's in Boston, and I'm afraid she may not survive. I need to see her." Dr. Bernard thought about her words for a moment.

"Your pregnancy is still at risk, Dr. Quinn," he began, "but you are showing signs of improvement. A train trip is very long for a woman in your condition." Michaela folded her arms across her chest. "But it is not impossible." Her eyes lit up.

"I would take extra precaution."

"And I would advise you to seek medical consult while you're visiting," Dr. Bernard explained. "And do not hesitate to seek help for the slightest twinge. You can't be too careful, Dr. Quinn." Michaela nodded slowly. "I would advise at least two days more rest before heading out."

"Yes," Michaela said quickly. "Yes, thank you."

"Keep in touch, and if your stay in Boston is longer than expected, we'll resume our appointments when you return."

"Thank you very much, Dr. Bernard. I appreciate all of your help. I'll keep in touch." Dr. Bernard smiled and moved to the door, placing his hat upon his head.

"Good luck, Dr. Quinn. Take care of yourself."

"I will. Goodbye." Michaela watched the doctor head out to the depot, and she moved out onto the porch to catch a breath of fresh air.

"Ah, Dr. Mike?" She turned quickly to see Robert E. with her order from Grace's. He was balancing baby Olivia on his hip, and she was beginning to fuss. Michaela smiled and took the basket from her friend.

"Thank you, Robert E. How is little Olivia?"

"Oh, she's doin' just fine. She just wants her ma, and she's getting over a little rash is all." Michaela frowned and nodded her head.

"Could you wait just a moment?" The man nodded, and Michaela took her food into the clinic, and when she returned, she handed Robert E. a small jar of salve.

"Apply this to her rash twice a day, and it should be cleared up in a day or two."

"Thanks, Dr. Mike. What do I owe ya?" He placed the small jar into his pocket and adjusted his daughter on his hip.

"We'll call it even for the lunch," Michaela responded. He tipped his hat gratefully to her.

"Thanks, Dr. Mike. I appreciate it." Olivia let out another wail. "I best be goin'. Have a good day, Dr. Mike."

"You too," she responded, before turning back toward the clinic. But, before she could turn all the way, she spotted two small figures running across the meadow and toward town. When she realized that it was Johnny and Mary, she picked up her skirts and hurried to meet them at the bridge. Johnny arrived first, and little Mary stopped to catch her breath. But when she saw her aunt with Johnny and heard the school bells, she turned reluctantly and headed back up to the schoolhouse. "Johnny!"

"Leave me alone," he cried, leaning over the bridge to look into the dried up creek bed that lay beneath it.

"Johnny? What's wrong?" she asked.

"It's nothin'. Please, just…just go away," he begged, not letting her see his face.

"What happened? Have I done something?" she asked, her heart beating wildly. And then she realized what must have happened. She slowly touched his shoulder, and he didn't shy away. "Johnny? Have the other children been teasing you because of…"

"I don't wanna talk about it!" Johnny cried, turning toward her to reveal a large, dark circle around his eye. Michaela gasped, realizing that her and Sully's choices had inevitably caused problems for her future stepson.

"Oh, sweetheart, I'm so sorry."

"It ain't your fault. I just wanna be alone. I don't wanna go back today," he said quietly. Michaela slowly knelt down in front of him, and she brought a handkerchief to his swollen eye, gently dabbing away his tears.

"I'm so sorry," she whispered. "I never meant for any of this to happen." She swallowed hard, as he took a shaky breath, rubbing his sleeved arm under his runny nose.

"Bobby Simms was sayin' things to me, and I…I didn't like 'em. Finally I got mad and couldn't take it no more, Dr. Mike. I didn't wanna hit him, 'cause Grandpa taught me that it ain't the way to settle things, but he wouldn't stop talkin'. And…" Michaela put her hand on his shoulder.

"What sort of things was he saying, sweetheart?"

"I don't…I can't say," he said quickly. Michaela looked him in the eye.

"You can tell me."

"No. I don't wanna say. I hit him to make him stop sayin' those things. He was lyin', Dr. Mike." Michaela took a deep breath. "He…he said that 'cause you and Pa ain't married, the baby's gonna be a…a…bastard. He says…he says you and Pa are goin' to…to…" He sniffled, and Michaela closed her eyes, knowing that Johnny's difficulties were just beginning. And for a moment, she felt selfish. She felt selfish for not considering the consequences for Johnny. He hadn't chosen to be caught in the middle of this, yet everything was spinning out of control, it seemed. "I was just tryin' to get him to stop sayin' them things." Michaela slowly drew the boy into her embrace, and she felt him sob against her shoulder.

"It's alright, sweetheart," she whispered, closing her eyes and letting a tear fall down. She hadn't even considered how cruel the other children could be, and she felt responsible for Johnny's black eye. "Let's get you back to the clinic, and I'll give you something to take down the swelling, and…" At that moment, she looked up to see Rebecca ushering the children in from recess, looking over toward them to make sure Michaela had everything in control.

Rebecca watched her sister with the boy, and she frowned, knowing that Johnny had probably just explained everything to her. She had heard the argument before the fight broke out, but sadly, she had been preoccupied with pulling apart another fight before theirs had started.

"Timothy," she said with concern, as he started up the steps to take over the class for the day.

"Mrs. Buchanan," he said with a tip of his hat. Rebecca was taken aback by his sudden propriety, and she wondered for a moment if it was because they were at school.

"The children are a bit unruly today," she said quickly. "During recess, two arguments broke out. I don't look for Johnny Sully to be back in today."

"What happened?"

"Bobby Simms was teasing him, and they got into a scuffle," she said softly.

"Well, perhaps it's best if Johnny does stay home the rest of the day," Timothy said quickly.

"And Bobby Simms?" Rebecca challenged.

"Well, I'll give him a talking to, and…"

"A talking to?"

"Well, yes. He's a good boy normally, and…"

"And Johnny isn't?"

"I didn't say that, Rebecca. I'm just sayin' that word's got out 'bout your sister and Sully, and…"

"And that isn't any of Johnny's fault. He doesn't deserve to have that black eye right now. He doesn't deserve to be treated any differently than the Simms boy, does he?"

"Rebecca, if I send that boy home for what just happened, we might just have a problem on our hands."

"For fighting? Don't all children get sent home for fighting? I just sent the Jones boy and the Edwards boy home for the same thing."

"It's not the same in the parents' eyes, Rebecca," he said quickly, hearing the children growing restless inside. "Folks don't take kindly to what's happened with Dr. Mike and Sully."

"And it isn't anybody's business but my sister's and Mr. Sully's," Rebecca demanded. Timothy sighed heavily.

"You don't understand the way things work 'round here." He started to reach for it, but she pulled back.

"Maybe I don't, Reverend, but I know how forgiveness works. I know how tolerance works." Mary stepped out onto the porch.

"Mother? What's going on?" Rebecca reached for her hand.

"Nothing, sweetheart. We're just about to go home and start packing."

"Packing?" Timothy asked, fear rising in his heart.

"Where are we going, Mother?" Mary asked with wide eyes.

"We're going to Boston, sweetheart. We're going to visit your grandmother." Her eyes met Timothy's. "We'll be gone for a while, so I'm sure the good Reverend will be able to keep things orderly here at school until we return." With that, she turned and started across toward town, leaving Timothy standing there with a perplexed expression upon his face, unable to go after her because of his duty to the children.

When Timothy entered to take over teaching for the day, Rebecca started across the meadow, and Michaela stood, letting Johnny have some room.

"I wanna go home," Johnny said quietly.

"Alright," Michaela assured him. "We'll go home." She looked up at Rebecca, who was now stepping onto the bridge with Mary holding her hand. But, Mary broke free and hurried over to Johnny.

"Johnny?" She gently touched his arm. "He didn't hurt you did he?" Her lower lip stuck out and trembled a little. When she caught sight of the black eye that had already started to form, she gasped. "I'm sure Aunt Michaela can take care of it," she said quietly. She looked up at Michaela with all seriousness in her eyes—more seriousness than Michaela had ever seen in a five year old—and she frowned. "Will he be alright?"

"He'll be just fine," Michaela said with a nod. She looped her arm through Rebecca's, and they spoke quietly, as Johnny and Mary walked ahead. "This is all my fault."

"Don't blame yourself, dear," Rebecca said quickly. "Children can be so cruel."

"Sully and I…we didn't actually take the time to think about all of the consequences this could bring for everyone we care about." She shook her head. It had been about passion, need, want, desire, love, right and wrong, truth.

"Well, once we get to Boston, I'm certain you'll have more time to think." We? Rebecca was going to? Well, of course she was. Michaela was grateful to know that she'd have another source of support when her mother heard the news. Well, that was…if they got there in time.

"That's what I'm afraid of," Michaela said quietly, shaking her head. "Rebecca, when I decided to go to San Francisco and start a new life, I honestly didn't know if I would ever see Sully again. And then…one night…there he was. My life changed forever that night, and I wouldn't change that for the world. I wouldn't change anything, but seeing Johnny suffer and try to stick up for me doesn't seem right. This isn't his fight at all."

"Johnny loves you, Michaela," Rebecca said softly. "From what you've told me of both him and of Sully, they're very much alike and would do anything to protect the women in their lives." She patted Michaela's arm. "Be proud of him, Michaela."

"For fighting?"

"For sticking up for his family," she said quietly. "You can see it just as much as I can. He didn't want that fight." They watched the children disappear into the clinic. Michaela turned to her sister and smiled a little.

"Rebecca, thank you for being there for me. I haven't felt very strong lately, and having you here and having Sully…I just feel as if you're my strength. This family is my strength."

"You're strong, Michaela. You're stronger than you think you are." She tugged on Michaela's arm. "Come along. Let's look in on the children. I know a little boy who needs his mother right now." Michaela's watery eyes looked up into her sister's, and they shared a knowing smile and then a hug. Then, they silently walked together across town to tend to the children.

February 1871 – Boston

Marrying Stephen seemed so right. In my youthful diaries, I had scrawled out Elizabeth O'Connor multiple times, wondering what it would be like to write that name with some ounce of truth behind it. I did love him. He had captivated my heart, and I only hoped that I had done the same for him. He was leaving, and I was losing him, and when he proposed, I saw no other alternative. We would marry, and I would travel with him to New York in a few months, and we would begin a journey together than I couldn't see traveling with anybody else.

After we were married, my mother was so ashamed that she turned her back on me. My family was being torn apart at the seams, and the blame was being placed on me. I was twenty. I was in love. I wanted to make my husband happy. That was what mattered most to me, and Stephen's father was kind enough to loan us a beautiful country home to spend our first few months in before the move to New York. Stephen felt guilty for my estrangement from my family, and each time an attempt to reconcile came about, my mother and I were too stubborn to accept each other's difference of opinion. I began to believe that I didn't need her and that she was just a lonely old woman who was bitter from her own choices in life. But my mother was right. Stephen did break my heart.

Our first few weeks of marriage were amazing. We had one of the O'Connor's maids—Fiona—and we were grateful for her willingness to disappear when we needed our privacy. She was young and kind, and I hoped that she would travel with us to New York. My husband was the most thoughtful, patient man I'd ever met, and my duty as a wife came with little resistance on my part. I wanted to be with him. I wanted to learn from him. I wanted to truly feel loved for the first time in my life. And I did. Unfortunately, marital bliss was quickly stolen away from both of us, and life took a completely different turn. I had no idea how lucky and unfortunate I was at the very same time.

"Michaela!" came the terrified voice of a sleeping Elizabeth. Trembling from what she had just read, Marjorie quickly tucked the book away and hurried to her mother's bedside. She had only gotten a few hours of sleep that morning, and now she was up again, sitting vigil in her mother's room.

"She isn't here yet," Marjorie soothed. "I received word from her today. She and Rebecca are coming to Boston. They're going to be here in a few days. Just rest, Mother. Rest now."

"Michaela," Elizabeth breathed. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry." Marjorie swallowed the lump in her throat and held her mother's hand, feeling the strength returning. Perhaps Elizabeth was going to hold on much longer than even Dr. Webber had predicted. But there was no use in getting anybody's hopes up. It would be better when Rebecca and Michaela returned.

Martha stepped inside with a lunch tray.

"I'm not hungry, Martha," Marjorie said quietly.

"You must eat something. You're no help to your mother if you don't nourish yourself," the older woman replied. "Come along, dear." Marjorie sighed heavily and moved to sit in a comfortable chair. Martha placed the tray in her lap and poured her a hot cup of tea. Receiving no thanks, as usual, Martha started for the door, but she was surprised when Marjorie spoke up.

"Who's Stephen?" Marjorie glanced at the maid, and Martha stiffened as she had at the mention of the name Robert.

"Stephen? Where did you…"

"Mother spoke of him in her sleep," Marjorie lied quietly. Martha shook her head.

"You'll have to ask her of that when she wakes," Martha responded. "If you'll excuse me…" The maid left quickly, grateful to be out of the room. Marjorie turned her attention toward her mother's sleeping form.

"I never knew," she said quietly. "Did Father?" She glanced at the seat cushion she'd hidden the book under, and she could hardly wait to find out more about this secret past of her mother's. Slowly, Elizabeth Quinn's youthful character was beginning to sharply contrast with the woman she had turned into and ultimately was today.

February 1871 – Colorado Springs

"Where is he?" Michaela asked, pacing the clinic porch after sunset. The town had wound down for the evening, and Michaela had had an interesting day of snide remarks and knowing looks, but she'd been tending to Johnny, and she had been wondering where on earth Sully had gone. She had half a mind to ride out and look for him, but she also knew that if she did so, she'd be putting her baby and herself in further jeopardy, and Johnny still needed her.

His spirits were up, and Mary was keeping him company at the dinner table, playing with the carvings Sully had made for him. Rebecca was checking on the roast she and Michaela and collectively made for dinner, and she hoped that Michaela would stop worrying and come inside soon.

Michaela spied Carrie and Daniel on the porch of the boarding house with Tommy. It had started to rain, and because of that rain, Tommy had decided to spend an extra day in Colorado Springs. Also because of the rain, Charlotte's funeral had been postponed. Michaela wasn't looking forward to saying goodbye to her friend, but she knew that it had to happen sometime. She wasn't looking forward to seeing the faces of three orphaned children, two of whom were going to live with their older brother, his wife, and their young son.

"Michaela? Come inside," Rebecca called from the doorway, as the rain continued to pound down into the dirt streets.

"I'll be in in a moment."

"Standing out there won't get him home any sooner," she pointed out. "The rain will let up soon, and for now, I'm sure he's taking shelter somewhere safe, warm, and dry." Michaela sighed heavily, supposing that Rebecca was right, and she closed her eyes, praying that her future husband would return safely to her. She was furious that he hadn't told her where he was going, but at the same time, she knew he probably had a pretty good reason.

Finally, she turned around and walked back into the side room of the clinic, closing the door firmly behind her. She moved to sit down at the table, while Mary and Johnny played quietly.

"He'll be here, Dr. Mike," Johnny assured her. The swelling in his eye seemed to have stabilized, but it hurt Michaela to look at it, because as far as she was concerned, this little boy was her son, and she hated seeing him in pain.

Michaela glanced over at Rebecca. Rebecca had been rather quiet throughout the day, and Michaela couldn't help but wonder if it had to do with the Reverend, but each time she approached her to talk about it, Rebecca insisted that she was just feeling a bit tired from the dance the previous night, and she would be feeling better soon enough. Michaela didn't buy that, but she knew Rebecca would let her know when she was ready to talk about it.

"Sounds like the rain's passin'," Johnny pointed out, as he hurried over to the window. Sure enough, the rain had dissipated, and the clouds were rolling off into the distance. "Yep! It's lettin' up!" Mary rushed over to the window, and Michaela smiled, watching them eagerly anticipating Sully's return.

Rebecca sat down with a cup of coffee in her hands.

"Dinner's ready. We just need to wait on…"

"Pa! He's comin'!" Johnny shouted. Michaela stood quickly and moved to the door, wanting to be the first to greet him and find out where exactly he had been all day.

As soon as the door opened, Michaela was greeted by the sight of her future husband, drenched to the bone. His eyes immediately found hers, and she sighed heavily.

"Sully! Are you alright? Where have you been? I was worried sick!"

"I'm alright," he promised. "You ok?"

"Just fine," she pointed out. "I thought I'd see you, and…" Sully immediately felt guilty for having left her alone all day, but it had been part of the plan. He knew that she had many friends who would look in on her from time to time, and Sheriff Cole and Daniel had promised to keep the peace in town, but when he saw Johnny's black eye, his eyes met Michaela's again.

"What happened?"

"He got into a fight at school," she said quietly, crossing her arms over her chest. "Another boy was teasing him about…about the baby." Sully sighed heavily and he put his hand on his son's shoulder.

"You alright?"

"I'm fine, Pa. It don't really hurt no more. I just didn't want 'em sayin' them bad things 'bout you and Dr. Mike." Sully knelt down in front of his son.

"I'm proud of ya for standin' up for your family, son, but fightin'…"

"I didn't wanna do it, Pa, but he wouldn't stop," Johnny explained. "Ya believe me, don't ya, Pa?"

"I do," Sully said quietly, "but I don't want ya thinkin' that fightin' is the way to solve everything." Johnny shook his head.

"I don't Pa, honest." The boy threw his arms around his father, and Sully hugged him back, his eyes searching for Michaela's. Here were filled with tears, a vision he saw quite a lot of lately.

"Johnny, come help me get the dinner table ready," Rebecca beckoned from the table. "We don't want dinner to get cold, do we?" Johnny quickly pulled away from his father.

"No, Ma'am." He hurried over to help, and Sully stood up, looking into his lover's eyes.

"We gotta talk," he finally said. Michaela raised an eyebrow.

"I was just about to say the same thing." Sully took her hand and led her into the other room, closing the door behind them. Before Michaela could speak, Sully drew her into his arms, enveloping her into a passionate kiss. She gasped for only a moment, but let her body and heart do the talking. She wrapped her arms tightly around him, deepening the kiss and missing the feel of his body against hers.

When they pulled apart, their hearts beat in sync with each other's, and Michaela's cheeks showed evidence of her surprise in the crimson that tinted her cheeks.

"What…what do we have to talk about?" Michaela asked, taking a deep breath. Sully smiled sheepishly.

"I just wanted to get ya alone for a few minutes," he said quietly. He saw the worry in her eyes. "I didn't mean to…to scare ya by bein' gone so long."

"Where were you?"

"Did somethin' happen today?"

"Nothing," she replied. "Nothing I haven't expected, anyway. I'm fine. But, I was worried about you."

"I had things to do…"

"What kind of things?" she demanded.

"I was makin' arrangements to get some things taken care in case we had to leave for Boston, and…" Michaela sighed with relief, and he pulled her into his arms again. They held one another for a few moments, before he pulled back and looked into her eyes. "How was the doctor's appointment?" Michaela nodded positively.

"Dr. Bernard said everything seems to be fine, and he gave us the go ahead for Boston, but he encouraged me to seek medical care when we arrive." Sully nodded.

"Sounds like good advice." He rounded her shoulders, gently caressing her neck. "So we're goin'?" She nodded slowly.

"We're going." She smiled a little, but her eyes reflected the worry she carried for her mother. Sully nodded and swallowed hard.

"Maybe it'll do us all some good to go," he said quietly, wiping a tear from her cheek. "Don't cry, Michaela. Everything's gonna be alright."

"We have a lot to think about, Sully. I don't want Johnny fighting. I don't want to see him come home like this everyday. I want us to be a family, but I refuse to let that little boy get hurt because of this." She took a deep breath and backed away. "Things have changed so much, Sully. Just a few months ago, I'd have done anything in the world for my family. That hasn't changed. But the instant I realized that I was going to be a mother, something inside of me told me that I was completely responsible for anything that happened. I feel that way about Johnny too, and seeing him today scared me. I know what people think. I'm not blind or deaf. I see the stares, and I hear the whispers. That doesn't bother me. But when our son comes home with a black eye…" Sully pulled her close, as she began to sob.

"Don't cry," he pleaded. "Please, Michaela." He kissed her cheek, tasting the salt of her tears. "I don't know how, but everything is gonna work out. We'll get away for a little while, and when we come back, we'll start plannin' our weddin', and we'll get on with our lives."

"It won't be easy."

"'Course not." He looked into her eyes, and she took a shaky breath.

"But it's us, right?" she asked softly. "Nothing's every easy." Sully chuckled and nodded his head.

"That's right." He reached across to Michaela's examining table and found a small piece of clean cloth. He gently dried her tears, and she shook her head.

"I'm sorry, Sully."

"Don't apologize. You're pregnant. There's nothin' to be sorry for." Michaela chuckled a little, and she knew that this lighthearted moment was one of very few she would experience if the townspeople had anything to say about it. She had nobody to blame but herself, but she knew that she was determined to see this through no matter what. She had a family now, and as unorthodox as it was, it was her strength when she felt weak.

Once her tears were dried, Sully kissed her softly and gently stroked his hand across her belly.

"I promise I won't leave ya worryin' 'bout me like that again."

"I'm sorry I was so…well, I trust you, Sully."

"I know ya do." He took her hand in his. "C'mon. I don't know 'bout you, but I'm feelin' awful hungry." Michaela smiled a little, feeling her stomach growling for food. She nodded and let him lead her into the side room, which to her surprise, was just a little bit more crowded than it had been when she'd left.

"SURPRISE!" yelled several faces of several friends. Grace, Robert, E., Daniel, Carrie, Kid Cole, Ruth, Horace, and even Olive were gathered inside, gathered around Rebecca, Johnny, and Mary at the table. A large cake was placed out on the table for all to see, as a round of Happy Birthday began to reverberate off of the walls of the clinic.

Michaela's face turned red from embarrassment and surprise, as Sully wrapped his arms around her, and she leaned her back into his chest. He could feel her heart beating so fast, and he knew she was happy.

When the song ended, everybody clapped, and Michaela couldn't believe how many people had gathered to celebrate this day after everything that had just transpired.

"Happy birthday, Dr. Mike!" Johnny exclaimed, running over to her and hugging her around the middle. "Were ya surprised?"

"More than surprised!" Michaela exclaimed, tousling his hair playfully.

"We been plannin' it," he said with a nod, "ain't we, Pa?"

"That's right," Sully said quietly, nodding and giving Michaela a kiss upon the cheek. Michaela shook her head and looked around the group, seeing the smiling faces of her friends—her family—and she took a deep breath.

"Thank you all very much. You have no idea how much this means to me."

"Dr. Mike," Olive's voice spoke up from the back. Michaela froze, not having heard much from her since the revelation.

"Olive?"

"It's good to see ya feelin' better," she said with an honest smile, her eyes twinkling with knowledge. Little did Michaela know, Olive had very little room to talk, considering her own choices in life.

"Thank you," Michaela said, almost breathless.

"Now, I hope ya'll are hungry," Grace pointed out, "cause this cake took a lot of trouble to bake in between thunderstorms and customers." Everybody laughed, and people began to settle down at the table. Michaela turned to Sully, and she shook her head.

"You've known?"

"Yep," he whispered. "Surprise." She sighed heavily. "Can't miss a birthday, now can we?" He kissed her again, and she squeezed his hand, as they took a seat amongst their guests and friends. One of the worst birthdays of her life was quickly turning out to be one of the best thanks to her wonderful family and friends. She only hoped that the happiness this night had brought her would carry her throughout the next few days, because she was certain that things were not about to get any easier.