Chapter 68
February 1871 – BostonShortly after we were married, Stephen began working day and night in order to prepare for our upcoming move to New York. He was constantly attending meetings with his father and traveling all around the city for business dealings. Finally, there came a time in which Stephen would wake early in the morning before I woke and come to bed long after I had fallen asleep. Despite our newlywed status, we rarely saw one another, but he would leave an occasional note to let me know that he was thinking about me, and the sooner his business dealings were over, the sooner we could pursue our future in New York.
However, my husband began to come down with symptoms of illness—symptoms he initially tried to hide from me—and the only doctor available to come to our home at the time was Dr. Josef Quinn. Putting the awkward past behind us was easy for the moment, because what mattered most was my husband's health. And then I received the devastating news. Yellow Fever. Some survived. Some didn't. It was a gamble as to whether or not my loving husband would survive this illness. I had always seen him as being so strong and healthy, and to see him weakened by this disease broke my heart.
Josef was doing all he could for my husband. Meanwhile, I was beginning to experience symptoms myself, and I feared that I too had the disease. But, when I could no longer hide my nausea from Josef, he examined me, much to my embarrassment, and he confirmed something that only a week before I would have been thrilled to hear. I was pregnant.
With the future so uncertain, I worried over how to tell Stephen that we were going to be parents, and by the time I worked up the courage, his sickness had escalated to frightening heights. I will never forget the sadness in his eyes as the life slowly slipped out of his body. It was as if he knew he wasn't going to survive, and he even asked Josef to take care of me and of our child.
After Stephen died I was lost, and Josef told me that he would do the right thing for me, for my family, and for the child I was carrying. He said he would marry me. I was under no obligation to give myself to him right away, and I was grateful, because I was being left without a husband, without my family's support, and without a penny to my name.
During Stephen's illness, Josef and I had grown closer as friends, but I was terrified, because the man I truly loved was dead, and the only part of him I had left—aside from the memories—was the life growing deep inside me…a life that would no doubt remind me of Stephen every time I looked into those eyes.
"My God," Marjorie whispered, slowly shutting the book in her lap. She didn't dare to read more just yet. She almost felt guilty, but her mother wouldn't have written it and left it lying around if she hadn't intended for anyone to read it, would she?
The door to her mother's room opened, and Landon walked in. Was it morning already?
"How is my patient this morning?" he asked quietly.
"She's still in and out of consciousness. When she is awake, she doesn't ask for anyone but the two sisters I have that aren't here yet." Landon moved over to check Elizabeth's vitals, as Marjorie watched on quietly.
"She's holding on," he said quietly, "and in the meantime, she seems to be growing stronger each day." Marjorie held her breath for a 'but," but nothing followed. "Your mother may just pull through." She didn't know whether or not to believe her ears.
"But her heart…"
"Her heart is very weak," Landon replied quietly. "But she may just have a little more time left in her. If she stays calm and doesn't exhaust or exert herself…"
"Michaela…" Elizabeth's voice rose up. "I need to tell you…I need you to know…" Marjorie sighed, pain etched into her saddened face.
"She'll be here soon, Mother. I promise."
February 1871- Colorado Springs
Rebecca sat on the porch of the clinic, waiting for her sister and Sully to return from the graveyard. Though she hadn't known Charlotte very well, Rebecca respected that Charlotte was such a caring, generous woman, and she hoped that the friendship and bond she shared with Michaela would help carry her through these next difficult months.
The children had gone inside, and Rebecca hadn't expected any visitors, but when Timothy came walking up, his hat in his hand, she wanted to get up and go inside. She didn't want to speak with him, and she hadn't said more than a few words to him since the day Johnny and Bobby had gotten into the fight. Johnny had returned to school, but the ridiculing wasn't ending despite Rebecca's best efforts to keep the children under control.
Though she had wanted to speak with him, she found it difficult to even think about what to say to him. Her sister was important to her, and she had been through a marriage and the death of a spouse before. She had to ask herself if letting herself fall for his man…this Reverend…was going to be worth it. And she already knew that she would do whatever it took to help her sister even if it mean letting a second chance at love pass her by. She refused to let anybody treat her sister with disrespect.
"Rebecca, may I sit down?" Timothy asked, his fingers strumming the rim of his hat.
"Do whatever you'd like, Reverend," she said quietly. Her eyes looked up into his with confidence and defiance. Her last name might have been Buchanan, but she had the same Quinn fire in her that her sister had.
"I want to apologize for what happened at the school the other day," he said quickly, sitting down beside her. She scooted over to give him more room and to get away. "Johnny is a good student—one of our best—and he doesn't deserve to be treated so unfairly. I've spoken with his parents, and they've agreed that their boy will be punished for fighting."
"Good," she said quietly. "I'm glad to hear that."
"I've thought a lot about what you said…about forgiveness and tolerance," he explained. Her eyes met his again.
"Have you?" He shifted uncomfortably on the bench, and she braced herself for whatever was about to come out of his mouth.
"Rebecca, you can't expect me to drop everything I've been taught—everything I believe in—and jump up in support of Dr. Mike. Yes, she's a wonderful person that has done a lot for our town, but the truth of the matter is that she and Sully have made choices that have impacted the entire town."
"I don't see how. If only the town could learn to be more accepting…"
"I don't know how folks are in Boston, but I know that here, everybody knows everybody. Do you honestly think that people want somebody like your sister telling them how to feel about things and how to live their lives?"
"You're starting to sound like Mr. Slicker and Mr. Lawson," she warned. "Don't you answer to God, Reverend?"
"Of course I do, but I also answer to the folks who come to me askin' for guidance. Your sister has yet to do that."
"Did you ever stop to think that maybe it's because of the way everybody has been treating her? Maybe it's because you haven't stepped in once to defend her? Perhaps she would come to you if you said something encouraging."
"Things just don't work that way, Rebecca. I'm sorry," he said, shaking his head.
"I'm sorry too, Reverend," she said quickly, standing up. "I thought that you of all people would realize that forgiving people for their choices and accepting them as they are is what is most important in life. I thought I knew you, but I suppose that even those who have a special connection with God can still have their faults. Good day, Reverend Johnson." She turned and quickly walked into the clinic.
Timothy sighed heavily and shook his head. He wanted to tell her that he accepted Michaela and Sully's decisions and the fact that they were going to marry in the midst of a pregnancy, but he couldn't. All of his life, he had been taught what was right and what was wrong. He'd been taught what was immoral and moral. Unfortunately, he hadn't been taught that sometimes doing things for love mattered more than anything else.
Olive watched from inside of the general store, as Carrie hugged her father, crying genuine tears. She sighed, hating to see Tommy leave like this. She figured he wouldn't say goodbye to her. Despite the wonderful time they had had at the dance, happiness wasn't in the cards for them. How could it be after the past they shared together? It wasn't supposed to be that easy, and she knew that if Carrie ever found out that she was her mother, everything would be a whole lot worse that it was at this very moment. She had to be selfless for once and do the right thing for her daughter.
Earlier that afternoon, she'd said goodbye to an old friend, Charlotte, and now she was saying goodbye, from a distance, to a man she'd said goodbye to too many times in her lifetime.
Outside, Carrie finally let go of her father and watched him mount up on his horse.
"Take care of yourself," Carrie warned. "I don't wanna get no telegrams sayin' you've gone and done somethin' foolish. I don't wanna have to come find you and drag ya back here." Tommy chuckled, and he tipped his hat to her.
"Darlin', I'll keep in touch, but I can't promise I ain't gonna do nothin' foolish." Carrie rolled her eyes at him. Tommy's gaze shifted to Daniel.
"Danny Boy, promise you'll look after my little girl?" he asked.
"She's in good hands," Daniel pointed out. Carrie playfully elbowed him in the ribs.
"I can take care of myself, thank ya very much," she scoffed. Tommy shook his head and kicked his horse swiftly in the sides. He started off out of town, and he glanced longingly at the general store. He wanted to see her again, but seeing her face would only make it more painful for him to leave. He had to be strong. He had to leave with a stiff upper lip…just like she had when she'd left Carrie with him so long ago.
Daniel wrapped his arms around Carrie, as Tommy rode out of town, and when they could no longer hear his horse's gallop, he squeezed her shoulders.
"You ok?"
"I'll be fine," she assured him, turning in his arms. "I'm gonna go check on Dr. Mike. You comin'?"
"She's still at the graveyard with Sully," Daniel pointed out. "I don't wanna leave ya right now, but I promised the Widow Sanders I'd help her today, and…"
"Alright. You go on. I'll meet you for dinner at seven, alright?" Daniel nodded leaned forward to kiss her, and then they parted ways. Carrie's gaze drifted toward the churchyard, where she saw Michaela and Sully holding one another and paying their final respects to Charlotte, as the Cooper children crossed the bridge and headed toward town.
"Sully," Michaela said quietly, as they held hands, standing over the grave that now concealed the body of one of the first friends Michaela had made in Colorado Springs.
"Hmm?"
"I keep thinking about her."
"About Charlotte?"
"Mother," she said quietly, the tears dancing in her eyes, threatening to fall but being held back by her thick lashes. "I don't know how I'm going to say goodbye to her either." She swallowed hard. "I couldn't help Charlotte."
"Ya did the best ya could."
"I know that. Charlotte knew that, but I can't convince anybody else. I've heard whispers. They think that I'm incompetent, and…"
"Well, ya ain't. That medical degree ya got in the clinic says so." He squeezed her hand. "Folks'll come around." Michaela shook her head.
"I'm not so sure." She gently placed a single flower down on the fresh grave. "Charlotte was certain. She's been here for so long, and she was so certain that everything was going to be all right. Perhaps she gave me too much credit. Perhaps if she'd had another doctor…if I'd fought for the position in San Francisco…"
"Those are all 'what if's', Michaela. Ya can't control what's already done." She nodded and looked up into his eyes.
"I know that. I just can't help but wonder how everything would have turned out if…if we hadn't found one another again. I could be living back in Boston, and you…"
"I could still be cattle drivin'." He chuckled a little. "That definitely ain't the kinda life I want anymore."
"Would it be easier than this?" she asked, as they laced their fingers together again and began to walk across town. Sully nodded slowly.
"I think so…in a lot of ways. But, ya know, if that's how it would happened, Johnny wouldn't have nobody to look after him right now. We wouldn't be engaged. We wouldn't be havin' this baby."
"A baby that nobody wants to see born but us," she replied quietly, placing her hand over her flat abdomen. "It won't be any easier in Boston. If anything, that crowd has an even more savage tongue." Sully nodded.
"I guess comin' home won't be so bad then," he replied. "Folks might come around if we give 'em time. It ain't so easy to change somebody's mind, ya know. This ain't the first time this has happened here." Michaela looked up at him quizzically.
"It isn't?" He shook his head.
"Back when I first got here, a lady in town ended up pregnant, and she wasn't married."
"What happened to her, Sully?" she wondered, as they crossed the bridge.
"I don't really know. I remember that her folks carted her off someplace, and none of us ever saw her again. They run her outta town."
"Do you think that's what they're going to try to do with us?"
"They might," Sully replied. "But we ain't gonna let that happen. You're the one that fought to get herself into medical school. Somehow, I think a crowd of stuffy old doctors would be scarier than a few townsfolk who ain't willin' to accept a lady doctor…a pregnant one at that." Michaela shook her head.
"Sometimes I feel that it would be easier if we just packed up, left, and started over somewhere where nobody knows us. But, then I think of Johnny, and this is the only home he's ever known. I can't take him away from that. I can't take either one of you away from the memories." Sully swallowed hard. "I suppose that's another thing we didn't consider." She blushed, and Sully pulled his arm around her. "Sometimes I wish May 20th would get here sooner. I know it would be easier if we were married. But at the same time, I think that if we were to marry right now, it would solidify the town's opinion. It would make them think we were ashamed and had reason to be."
"I ain't ashamed," he pointed out. She shook her head.
"Neither am I, but I only feel guilty because…because we're putting this baby and putting Johnny through all of this."
"Johnny's a tough little boy, and our baby's gonna be just as strong. We're gonna make it, Michaela. It's gonna happen for us."
"What if it takes forever?" She shook her head, remembering having the same thoughts when she decided to go to medical school. What if it took forever to get in? What if it took forever to be accepted? And after having had those thoughts, she'd realized that she would do her best, keep her chin up, and she would live her life and practice medicine the way she wanted to…despite the reactions around her. Was it fair to say the same thing when two precious lives were involved?
"Dr. Mike!" Horace called, jogging over from the depot with an envelope in his hands.
"Horace?" Sully asked.
"Got your train tickets all ready for tomorrow."
"Thank you, Horace," Michaela said with a smile. "I appreciate all of your help." She looked at Sully. "We all do."
"Oh, and that doctor fella sent a wire sayin' he'd be here sometime tomorrow afternoon. I expect he'll be here shortly after your train takes off," Horace said quietly. "Ya sure he's a good doctor?" Michaela smiled.
"I've never met Dr. Cassidy, but I've looked over his credentials, and I've heard he's an excellent physician." She sighed quietly. "He's agreed to stay as long as he's needed, and he's prepared to leave as soon as I return."
"Well, have a safe trip, Dr. Mike. Sully," Horace said with a nod before heading back to the post.
"Finally getting out of town, huh?" came Hank's voice from the porch of the saloon. "It's about time. Need any help packin'?" He chuckled. "Well, ya ain't needed much help in getting yourself into this mess, so I doubt ya need no help getting out of it." Michaela and Sully continued on toward the clinic, but Sully felt Michaela's hand tighten around his arm. "Where are ya gonna go? There someplace in that fancy Boston of yours that accepts bastard babies, Dr. Mike?" At that point, Sully felt Michaela freeze, and he wanted to tell her to ignore it, but not even he could let Hank's words go past him now. But when he saw Johnny staring out of one of the clinic windows, he knew he couldn't throw a punch. He couldn't set that example for his son, but at the same time, he wanted to strangle the very last breath from Hank's heartless body.
Michaela turned, letting go of Sully's arm, and her eyes met Hank's. Slowly, she stepped toward him, and Sully stayed behind her, knowing that whatever she had to say, she wouldn't want him interfering. "What's the matter, Michaela? Cat got your tongue? Or are ya too busy usin' that mouth for s—" Before Sully could shut him up, Michaela's hand met briskly with the side of Hank's face, and a hard smack sounded through the air. Several passersby stopped to see what had happened, and Hank grabbed Michaela's wrist.
"I'll thank you to keep your opinions to yourself," she seethed, as his hold tightened on her wrist. "Take your hands off of me!"
"Ya best learn to do the same, Doc," Hank replied hotly. "Ya touch me again, and I might just…"
"Let her go, Hank," Sully warned, his hand moving to his tomahawk. Whispers rose up through the growing crowd.
"Ya need to learn to keep your woman under control," Hank sneered, roughly letting go of Michaela's wrist. Sully stepped in and grabbed Hank by the collar.
"If ya ever lay a hand on her again, I'll…"
"Alright, fellas," came a warning voice from the crowd. Everybody turned to see Kid Cole standing at the back of the crowd. "I got better things to do than to keep breakin' up fights between the two of you. Now if you'll kindly go your separate ways, I won't have to lock anybody up." Reluctantly, Sully let go of Hank, and the first pair of eyes he saw when he turned around were his son's, staring at him from that same window at the clinic. Michaela took one last glance into Hank's icy eyes and mocking smirk, and she turned to join her future husband.
"I wanted to kill him," Sully said angrily, his voice hush so only Michaela could hear. She said nothing, knowing he'd never kill unless it was necessary, and even then, she wasn't sure he'd do it.
"Pa?" Johnny asked, when they reached the clinic again, evidence of his fight still there. Sully looked him in the eyes, and he felt like a weaker man for a moment. He wanted to set a good example for his son, but he knew that some things were inevitable. Some things were hard to control.
"I'm sorry."
"What for, Pa?" Michaela ushered both of them inside, and she closed the door. "You was just defendin' Dr. Mike, weren't ya?" Sully nodded his head. "Don't worry, Pa. I know ya wouldn't really hurt him unless ya had a real good reason." Johnny started into the other room, and Sully looked over at Michaela. He hadn't realized how very mature his son was becoming. When he'd first met him, he'd had a lot of responsibilities on his shoulders, but over the past couple of months, he'd been able to enjoy his childhood. Now at the prospect of becoming a big brother, he seemed to be growing into that role already.
Michaela's gaze settled over Sully's face, and she smiled a little. He was confused for a moment, wondering what had made her so happy.
"Ya best go up and rest for a little while. We got a long day ahead of us tomorrow." Michaela nodded, and she wrapped her arms around him, giving him a soft kiss to the cheek.
"What's that for?" he wondered. Michaela shook her head and smiled.
"For everything," she whispered. Their lips met for a moment, before she started upstairs to lie down. Sully watched her walk away, and he wondered how she could just brush off everything that had just happened and be happy again. But, he realized that was one of the many things he loved about her. She was strong, and even when she was hurting, she was able to put a smile on and let the man she loved know that she was going to be all right. He wished he was that strong. All of his emotions came out in passion or in anger, and when he was angry, being calm was almost out of the question. It hadn't always been that way, but he had a family to fight for, and he knew that if he fought too hard, he might just lose everything precious to him. He didn't want that, and he refused to let Hank get to him. They were going to Boston, and they had a whole other crowd to face, but at least they were getting away to regroup and collect their thoughts. But another thought loomed in the back of his mind. They were going to have to come back and face this crowd again. He wasn't so certain that time would heal all wounds, but the least they could do was try.
Carrie stepped out onto the porch, surprised to see her father riding back into town and slightly leaning forward on his horse.
"Pa!" she exclaimed, as she rushed out to meet him, grabbing his horse by the reins.
"Hey there, darlin'," he said with a wince.
Olive spotted his horse, and she saw the blood on his left leg, and her heart began to pound. Without a word, she rushed out of the mercantile to see if she could help.
"Tommy?" she asked.
"Well, there's a sight for sore eyes," he said with a smile before he groaned in pain. Carrie called for Daniel, but Kid Cole rushed over.
"Sorry, but he's still out helpin' Widow Sanders. What's goin' on?"
"Help me get my pa over to Dr. Mike." Kid Cole immediately stepped up and helped Tommy down from his horse, and a few minutes later, Carrie, Olive, and Kid Cole were helping the injured cowboy to the clinic to have a proper examination.
"How did you say this happened again, Mr. James?" Michaela asked, as she finished wrapping up his injured leg.
"Horse got spooked, and I fell back. My foot got caught in the stirrup, and I got dragged. Luckily, I pulled my foot loose, but…"
"But you broke your leg," Michaela said pointedly. "I'm amazed that you were even able to get back up on your horse. But I suppose you were in shock." She shook her head. "I'm afraid that traveling is out of the question for you for the next several weeks…unless you were take the train." Tommy sighed heavily. He couldn't take the train, because it would get him nowhere near where he needed to be.
"Ya mean I'm stuck here?"
"Well, is that so terrible? Your daughter is here, after all, and…" And so was the past. He couldn't escape it. Maybe he wasn't supposed to. Maybe this was his punishment for letting Olive get away and for raising Carrie on the drive instead of in a proper home.
"I'd like to see my daughter…if ya don't mind?" Tommy asked. Michaela nodded.
"Of course. I'll go downstairs and get her. Rest here, and don't move your leg for anything."
"Yes Ma'am," Tommy assured her. Michaela washed her hands in the basin and dried them on her apron before heading downstairs to find Carrie. Carrie stood quietly in the examining room, waiting for Michaela, and she sighed with relief when she finally appeared.
"How's my pa?" she asked.
"He's going to be fine," Michaela assured her. "He broke his leg, and he's going to have to stay here for a while. He can't travel, and I've already told him he'll have to see the replacement doctor while I'm away."
"Thanks for takin' care of him, Dr. Mike," Carrie said with a nod of her head. "He was bleedin' awful bad, and…"
"And he's lucky I was able to stop it. I don't want him moving around, because he lost a significant amount of blood, but luckily not enough to warrant a transfusion. Whatever you do, make sure you convince him not to push himself. I believe you're the only one he'll listen to."
"I don't know about that," Carrie laughed. "He and Miss Olive are startin' to look awful cozy." She and Michaela shared a knowing glance.
"You may go up. He's asking for you." Carrie nodded and went up to visit with her father, while Michaela stepped out onto the porch to see Olive. "Olive?" Olive had been staring off toward the mercantile, keeping an eye on things, and the doctor's voice had startled her from her concentration.
"Oh…Dr. Mike," she said quietly, out of sorts. "How is he?"
"He'll be fine," Michaela assured her, moving to sit beside her on the bench. "Carrie's with him now. He's broken his leg, and he'll need to rest for several weeks without much activity while the bones heal. I was able to stop the bleeding quite easily, and he should be feeling better in a few days."
"That's good to hear," Olive said, smoothing her hands over her skirt, averting her eyes from Michaela's. She was afraid of her seeing the truth.
"Would you like to go up and see him?"
"Ah, no," Olive said quickly, standing up. "I best be getting back to the store. I just figured I'd stay and see if he didn't bleed to death." Michaela noticed how Olive's disposition had changed. She was no longer calm and collected, but every ounce of her seemed to be jumping with anticipation and anxiety.
"Olive? Are you alright?"
"Just fine, Dr. Mike. Don't worry 'bout me." She started off toward the mercantile. "Shouldn't you be restin'?" Michaela furrowed her brows, watching the older woman head across the street to tend to her customers. Michaela shook her head, figuring Olive didn't want any company right now, and she disappeared back inside of the clinic to be with her family and check on her patient.