Author's note: *Heavy voice* EEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

Chapter 7: I can stir up pancake batter

Last time, on BLEN 10! I forgot WTF was going on and got kind of tired of how the story was progressing so here's some other fun sexy times.

Gay Big was standing over Doctah Weeaboo, ready to toe-step his ineffectual sympathetic wooby-doo ass into the pavement.

"NOW, YOU DIE, PETA-WORSHIPPER!" Gay Big thundered over the hills and dales, his mighty Kaiju-Sentai foot raised high.

Suddenly a figure leaped into view. It was somewhat misshapen but distinctly female, dressed in a visibly stained and unwashed t-shirt which read: UNCANCEL TEH SECRIT SATURDAYZ! in bold red letters.

"STAWP, YOU EVIL H8TER!" the mysterious figure screeched in a voice like a thousand prepubescent Beliebers, skinny, impossibly sheet-white pale arms raised. One hand held a sign that said DIE 4 OUR SHIPZ in both crude American English and superior accompanying Nihongo (that means Japanese, all you baka gaijin!). "I WON'T LET YOU HURT THIS DAI SUKI KAWAII BISHONEN, DESU!"

"Hey, could you like get out of the way? I'm about to stomp the fuck out of this wholly unsympathetic annoying villain guy here," said Gay Big.

"EEE-YEH!" she screamed. "GO AWAY AND LEAVE MY POOR WOOBIE ALONE, YOU BASUTARDO! OMAI, ACHI IKE!"

Gay Big blinked confusedly. His leg had begun to cramp so he set it down and accidentally crushed a guy on a bike. "OK, I may look like a hilarious parody of Japanese Tokusatsu characters but I actually am this totally American-born completely English-speaking white boy who doesn't understand a lick of your crazy half-Moonspeak."

Meanwhile, Dorkster Dickenstein had smartly taken this confusing distraction weeaboo parody loltime to run away. Gay Big noticed only twelve and a half seconds too late. His enemy was already hailing a taxi, which stopped on a dime, darn the luck, and quickly speeded off down the street to freedom.

"DAMN IT, Dr. Wackamole got away!" shouted GABEN as the Omnimatrix went "Doo da dee do da DO" and he changed back into a dickish and irritating yet lovable and popular Gary-Stu moron. "This is all YOUR FAULT, weird lady!" he accused, twenty seconds before receiving a severe beating from the enraged weeb. "AH! NOT MY BEAUTIFUL FACE! NOBODY'LL WRITE ME INTO PORN ANYMORE IF IT'S TAINTED!"

"DIE, DIE, DIE, STUPID AMERIKAJIN FUCKFACE! BAKAYARO!" the weirdo screeched in a pitch loud enough to startle several nearby dogs into lifting their cute fuzzy ears high. Then, the scathing mockery portion of the fic over for the moment, she ran away and faded back into obscurity.

(LOL, we wish.)

"Jesus shit, what the fuck was that all about?" Ben rubbed his aching head and looked around. "Where's Vilgax? Wasn't I battling him a few chapters ago? DOES THIS STORY EVEN HAVE ANY PLOT CONTINGENCY WHATSOEVER?"

Suddenly Kevin WEE Levin showed back up. So yes. Kind of.

"Oh Benji," he cooed. He strode forward with the sexiest of strides and gave all the yaoi fans in the audience a knowing, sultry wink before ripping off his shirt. "Oops, my shirt fell off." He moved uncomfortably close to Ben-Bens and pawed greasy, salty, fry-stained fingers through his num-num's equally greasy, hair gel caked hair. "Guess you'll have to buy me a new one."

"Dude, it's not masculine for guys to go out shopping. Only vaginas do shit like that," Ben remarked with irritation, doing a girly motion hand wave to get Kevie's digits out his shaggy mop. He briefly readjusted its fabulousness before placing his hands on his hips and giving Kevvers the stink eye.

"Oh Ben. You're so attached to your gender binary."

Ben lifted a sexy brow. "The fuck, mang, didn't you call me a faggot like some odd pages before?"

"No," Kevin said. "And if I did, I didn't do it in a homophobic way anyway, so what."

Ben gripped his temples steadily. "Yeah, but, like, the word is inherently homophobic?!"

"Language has changed through the years, man. Get with times. Shit doesn't mean what people try to say it means. Unless it means something that personally offends them, and not minority groups." Kevin pulled Bennie closer, blinking his long eyelashes rapidly. "Now let's fuck!"

Ben screamed like a two year in a crowded movie theater, shoved Kevin away and then began running for his butthole's virginity, far away, across the park and toward the street.

This was a short chapter because I stopped caring about this to work on other stuff.