Author's note: LOL WTF?

Guest

Rascist fuckin dipshit I hope you die in a hole you fuckin pussy I dare you read this out loud someone will fucking bury you you asshole FUCKING BITCH!

How do I cause this much raging mass chaos and confusion with words incoherently barfed into my Doc Manager? It's a gift of genius.

SHITFUCKER

YOU HAVE THE BEST REVIEWS I'M LAUGHING SO HARD

I KNOW, ME TOO!

Shitload of Fuck

I don't know what's worse, the story itself of your legion of "fans" here, who don't understand the fine art of deliberately pissing everyone off for the laughs.

YAH.

Wait, I have fans? Or "fans" as you put it, I would guess implying you don't really mean fans in the real sense and were being sarcastic.

Either way, YAH.

NaruYasha352

Are you ever going to return the other parodies you had here?

PROBLY NOT.

I'm too lazy and spurned after the while LJ community fail thing. You can keep putting them on Pastebin and Tumblr or wherever if you want yourselves though. I don't give a fuck who reposts my crap anymore. Go nuts.

Chapter 8: I will shake my derriere

LAST last time, on BLEN 10! The story changed a lot due to me not caring anymore.

In fact, FIVE WHOLE YEARS had passed!

So let's get back to the even sexier story full of hot white teenage boys.

And probably some slutty teen bitches, but I 'unno. Vaginas are yucky.

(LOL, INTERNALIZED MISOGYNY.)

Ben Venison skipped merrily along his path to the local Mr. Smoothy shop from which he wished to purchase a delicious, nutritious beverage to quench his mighty thirst gained after kicking so much evil villain ass on a previously undetailed adventure.

"Tra-la-la! Today I witness what is a very satisfactory amount of pleasant weather for this time of year. This pleases me!" Ben proclaimed whist he continued on his adventure.

After a short period of motion he reached his desired destination. The Mr. Smoothy's sign greeted him warmly as he approached the beverage cashier.

"Greetings, merchant! I am thirsty. I would like to purchase one of your tasteful wares."

The cashier smiled. "Which flavor would you desire to purchase?" asked the cashier to his customer. "We have many flavors." He gestured to a large display of flavors available for purchase. There was chocolate, peanut butter, strawberry, pineapple, peach, mango, grape, banana, kiwi, apple, tomato, broccoli, carrot, bee's wax, wasabi, breast milk, ect.

Ben observed the large wall of flavors before deciding on which he wanted to buy prior to a grin on his face. "I will have one carrot and vinegar-mango smoothie!"

"Here is your selected purchase," replied the cashier while handing him his drink and accepting Ben's payment.

Ben took the drink. He walked over a table. He sat down. He raised his cup and placed the straw manually into his oral cavity. He drank for several minutes while savoring the exotic flavors. "Mmm, mm, dat's good smoothie!" He frowned before realizing he had slipped character by talking like a realistic human being. "Oops! I shall once again proceed to speak like a robot with Aspergers."

"BEN!" shouted a voice.

Ben cringed. *Oh no, it's my annoying cousin, Gwen Bennyson! She must have come here with her boyfriend, Kevin E. Levin, who used to be my former enemy before the show became a confusingly retconned teen drama!* he thought. He turned around and observed them walking toward his table. He also observed them sitting down and holding hands and making out hotly before acknowledging him once again.

"Hey Ben, how many times have you saved the universe today?" Kevin Levin joked.

"Oh, just once! I shan't boast about it. Just kidding!" Ben shouted. "I'm the greatest 15 year old hero who ever lived!"

"What an ego," Gwen said while rolling her ocular organs skyward. "That's my doofus cousin! He hasn't changed much. Except for his character design, personality, attitude, ect."

"No one cares," Kevin reminded her. And then they jabbed tongues into each other's oral cavities once more. Gwen massaged her boyfriend's shirtless upper body.

"Why aren't you wearing a shirt, Kevin?" Ben inquired.

"Why wear clothes if you're just going to lose them in every story you appear in?" Kevin laughed.

"Good point," Ben responded. He sipped from his beverage again. *This is a perfect opportunity for a villain to blindly wander in and attempt to battle me* he thought.

Suddenly several of his former enemies, The Circus Freaks, Sublimino, Dr. Animo, Vilgax, Psyphon, Sunder, Aggregor, Adwaita, Hex, and Charmcaster even though the story doesn't need the inclusion of another female character, appeared after walking down the street toward the Mr. Smoothy's Ben just happened to be sitting at during the time.

"Several of my enemies! They appear mysteriously and conveniently out of nowhere!" Ben yelled. "It's Hero Time!" Ben raised his hand manually in an attempt to transform into a hero alien of his choice, but paused. "I'll finish my smoothie first before it gets warm."

"Look, it's our young enemy, Ben Dennyson!" shouted Sublimino before tripping over his comically long coat tails and falling on his face. Because there's nothing like taking one minor comedic situation and stretching it until it becomes a manufactured part of that character's personality. He struggled to get up but couldn't due to extreme clumsiness. So he just flailed there and yelled random things into the air in his not Invader Zim voice.

"Ben Tennisballs," growled Frightwig. "I shall use my hair tendrils to strangle you until death!" She shouted before attempting to do exactly that.

Ben jumped away at the last minute and her hair ball things smacked her comrades in the head, knocking them out cold, before they twisted around her own body and tied her up. She fell to the ground.

"Well, fuck me! Why does that always happen?"

"It's because you suck," Ben said simply before smiling .

"They might be amateurs, Pennyson, but I am a professional!" Sunder spoke before positioning himself into an attack position. He attacked.

Ben had finished his smoothie prior to Sunder's speech and flung the cup at his head. It struck him, dumping some leftover smoothie remnants onto his face. He became blinded. Pronouns.

"Ah, I can't see!" Sunder yelled. He crashed into the side of a building.

"You may have defeated your other inept adversaries, you disturbingly molestable brat, but you shall not defeat Dr. Animo!" said Dr. Animo. He unleashed his newest mutant which was an adorable red panda. "Now, my pet! Murder Ben Blenison!"

The red panda prepared to attack, but its mutation had weakened its hard and it died tragically due to a sudden fatal heart attack. It collapsed.

Dr. Animo began to sob uncontrollably while stripping down to his underwear. He hugged his expired creation and wailed in despair.

"I guess that wraps up our fight before it begins," muttered Ben. *Why does he always strip to his underwear so often?* Ben pondered. *It's fucking creepy* he thought uneasily.

"We will defeat you, you overconfident little fool," declared the evil magician Hex while Charmcaster stood beside him. "Charmcaster, aid me in this fight so that we may defeat our common enemy by outnumbering him!"

"Yes, Uncle Hex," she said fearfully. *I can't question my terrifying evil uncle, or he'll beat me and then lock me in the dark closet again!* she thought. She cowered while recalling the times she spent locked in her uncle's rape dungeon as well. It made the closet a lot more appealing.

"Try what you like, but not even the two of you teamed up can defeat me," Ben informed them.

Hex had a sudden convenient heart attack and dropped to the ground before he reached Ben. Charmcaster gasped. Ben took advantage of the female's shock to hide under a nearby table. Charmcaster gasped, witnessing her enemy's disappearance. She thought he ran away so she shrugged and went home to throw a party celebrating her evil uncle's death. She was going to suck so much dick tonight.

Ben turned and looked for his next enemy. He observed Adwaita getting stopped for autographs by many young children who mistook him for a ninja turtle. He was too distracted to battle. Ben shrugged.

"Who's next?" Ben inquired.

He observed Vilgax and Psyphon making out with each other on one of the tables. Kevin and Gwen were imitating them.

"You're not going to fight me?" Ben grumbled. He folded his arms while frowning. "OK then. Who's left?"

Aggregor shook his head. "Fuck this shit, I'm not being in this stupid story." He flew into space and into the sun.

"Looks like I saved the day yet again!" Ben shouted.

Ben's mother and father showed up with a plate of vegetables for him to consume. "Ben, devour your vegetables or you can't have any dessert! And clean your room! Make your bed! Don't fuck your best friend's girlfriend any longer! She's also your cousin." They wagged their fingers at him.

"Mother! Father!" Ben groaned. *My parents are so annoying!* he thought.

"Wait, you haven't defeated me yet!" shouted Sublimino.

He finally managed to right himself. He ran on stubby legs to Ben's position and stood in front of him. He withdrew his pocket watch in order to hypnotize his young enemy. But he was a total blond and had the watch facing backwards. He hypnotized himself instead.

"What is your bidding, my master?" Sublimino inquired to his "master," Ben.

Ben pondered while rubbing his chin. "Hm. Ah, I have a good idea!" He laughed to himself momentarily. "Go jump off a bridge, Sublimino!"

"Yes, master!" the hypnotized enemy spoke in monotone. He raised his arms like a zombie and shuffled off to the nearest bridge to commit suicide.

Ben looked to see if Vilgax and Psyphon were still being totes gay. They were. Only now they were naked and fucking. And so were Gwen and Kevin. Ben frowned. "Gross!" he said. "You people need to get rooms!"

This angered Vilgax into releasing Psyphon from his muscular arms. "YOU'LL PAY FOR THAT REMARK, TENNYSON!" Vilgax jumped into the air and began to attack his enemy with his tentacle-penises. All three of them.

"Fuck that!" Ben remarked. He spanked his Omnitrix hard and it gave him the greatest transformation ever: Portaler!

Portaler thought with portals and used a portal to portal Vilgax into a black hole at the far end of the universe. The really far end.

"FUUUUUUUCK YOUUUUUUUUU, BEN TENNYSOOOOOOOOOOON!" Vilgax wailed before getting sucked into oblivion. But he's probably not dead for real yet.

"Master!" Psyphon cried. He began to sob uncontrollably. "I can't live without you, Master!" He pulled out an inexplicable Japanese dagger and committed seppuku rather than endure the pain of being without his sexy lord Vilgax for five seconds.

Ben smiled. "That takes care of all my enemies for now. I think I deserve some chili fries as a reward," Ben stated. He went back to the Mr. Smoothy's counter to purchase chili fries. "Vender! Oh, vender? I would like to request some chili fries."

To Ben's shock, he saw that the cashier was lying dead on the floor inside the building.

"Gads! Someone else has committed a crime most heinous while I was battling my other enemies!" Ben exclaimed. "But who?"

"It was me!" yelled a voice.

There was a dramatic pause before, who should appear, but:

"Moldywarp?!" Ben cried.

"HYEE HEE HEE!" Moldywarp laughed while dancing around like a fucking moronic terrible character. "It was me all along, Bennifer Tanniston! I was secretly the earth's greatest enemy!"

"The fuck?" Ben inquired with much confusion. He gasped upon noticing a large stick of dynamite that had been placed into his back pocket. "AW, SHIT!"

There was a huge explosion that looked to have consumed our favorite boy hero, along with the Mr. Smoothy's, Gwen and Kevin, and Moldyfart himself. Because he's a fucking idiot and had been holding a bunch of lit TNT sticks the whole time while laughing like a maniac and dancing around. He will not be missed.

But did our hero Ben survive somehow to return in another wacky installment? Find out next time!