Chapter 90

April 6th 1871 – Colorado Springs

"Gentlemen, I do believe I won fair and square," Doc Cassidy said with a sly grin, as he pooled his winnings toward his portion of the table. Hank watched from the bar, as a potential fight began to brew. He wouldn't mind seeing the doctor knocked flat onto his rear honestly, but he knew that a fight meant broken chairs, tables, and glass everywhere, and that would mean paying out of pocket to replace those items.

"I saw ya hold out a card," Amos, an older gentlemen said with a sneer. Doc Cassidy shook his head, and he continued hoarding the money.

"It's true. I saw it too," another man replied, his hand moving to his holster. Doc Cassidy didn't notice this however, and he simply chuckled, his eyes reflecting the shiny coins and the piles of bills.

"I believe you gentlemen need a lesson in losing."

"You callin' us liars?" Amos asked, rising to his feet. Hank slowly moved his hand to retrieve the pistol from his holster just in case.

"I'm saying you're sore losers," Doc Cassidy replied. Hank glared at the man, wondering why he even served him after what he'd done to Liddie…or not done, rather.

"I think ya best be getting out of my establishment," Hank said quietly. Doc Cassidy looked around at the many pair of drunk and wary eyes that surrounded him, before his gaze settled on Hank's.

"Not without my money," Doc Cassidy said hesitantly. Hank shook his head, cocking the gun in his hand.

"Take what ya brought to the table and get out. I don't let cheaters play in my saloon." Doc Cassidy's eyes met Hank's icy glare, and he shook his head, placing his hat on top of his head.

"You're all turning into a bunch of weaklings that don't know how to lose. No better than women." He shook his head and took up his share from the table. Amos drew his gun, and he smiled at Doc Cassidy.

"Why don't ya turn around and leave, Doc? Go back to where ya came from. Ain't no use for ya here anyhow." Silence followed, as Doc Cassidy thought about the telegram he'd just received a few minutes before coming to the saloon.

"Is there a problem, fellas?" Everyone turned to see Kid Cole standing behind the double doors.

"Not a problem, Sheriff," Doc Cassidy replied. "I was just leaving."

"He was just cheatin' was what he was doin'," Amos retorted. Kid Cole watched as Doc Cassidy passed him by.

"Good riddance," Hank muttered. "Can't believe I'm sayin' this, but I'll be glad when that woman gets back to town." Kid Cole cast an amused glance Hank's way, and Hank decided not to elaborate on his statement. "Care for a drink, Mayor?"

"No thanks," he replied, tipping his hat. "I best be getting back to relieve my deputy of his duties." Hank nodded and watched Kid Cole walk out, and he turned his gaze to Doc Cassidy, who was disappearing inside of the clinic. Hank waltzed over to the saloon doors and stared intently across the street, thinking of the many things he could do to that man to make him pay for not treating Liddie. But, by now, most of the town was sick of him, and the day he left town for good would be cause to celebrate, even if that woman was coming back to town. Even she and her scandal would be a breath of fresh air compared to the aggravation that Doc Cassidy caused.

"Looks like you could use some cheering up," said one of the newer girls, Sophia. Hank looked down into her soulful eyes, seeing the spirit of a young woman that deserved much better than a saloon and the stench of whiskey and cigars. But, when she offered him a shot, he couldn't resist. He swallowed it down, letting it burn his belly, and he looked down at her, seeing such innocence there. It was an innocence that would be shattered in a matter of days or weeks. Each customer was like a painful bruise that never went away. But, when she offered herself to him without his coming to her, it gave him reason to stop thinking about Liddie for a little while.

"Cheerin' up?" He thought for a moment before she gave him another shot of whiskey. He downed that one and looked down at her with a grin that covered up the anger and the hurt in his eyes. "Why not?" He put his arm around her and barked orders at one of the other girls to man the bar for a while. With that, he and Sophia disappeared into the back, closing the door behind them to drown out the sound of dissatisfaction and regret.

After returning from the sheriff's office to relieve Daniel of his duties so he could go help out at the mercantile, Kid Cole walked into the house, looking around for his wife. When he'd left, she'd been patching up a pair of his trousers. But now, the rocking chair was slowing but still in motion, and the trousers lay in a pile on the floor.

"Ruth?" he asked aloud. When he heard coughing from the back of the house, he grew concerned and rushed back to see what was happening. When he saw her leaning over a bucket, he grimaced and quickly moved to hold her hair behind her back. "You ok?" She sputtered for a moment longer before taking in a gulp of air.

"I'll be fine," she assured him. She straightened up and turned to face him. Her skin was so pale, and dark circles had formed under her eyes.

"I'm worried about you," he said, concern dripping from his voice. Ruth smiled a little and she sighed softly.

"I'm fine," she said softly. "This comes with bein' pregnant. I saw it plenty growin' up."

"Ya still ain't been to a doctor."

"Dr. Mike's comin' back soon," she replied. "Horace got some telegrams from Boston today. Soon as Doc Cassidy heard she was comin' to take her job back, he went right over to the saloon." She grinned. "I know I ain't the only one that'll be glad when that man's gone." She reached up and took the hat off of his head. "Much better." Kid Cole knew without a doubt that his wife was pregnant, because her once flat stomach was becoming rounder, and the nausea couldn't be denied.

"I just wish we knew that everything was alright, ya know?" Ruth nodded at her husband.

"We'll know just as soon as Dr. Mike gets back," she answered. "Just think, we're gonna have our own baby." Kid Cole shook his head, and he beamed down at his wife. Ruth smiled up at him, and she wrapped her arms around him, laying her head against his chest. She sighed contentedly and closed her eyes, thinking of their child and hoping that everything would turn out alright.

Tommy hobbled around behind the counter of the mercantile, leaning on a crutch until his leg was a hundred percent better. He could walk on it alone, but after standing so long, it would begin to ache, and he would need the help. Since Olive had signed the deed over to Carrie, he'd been taking care of the place while she recuperated from the gunshot wound. Daniel helped during the afternoon when Kid Cole didn't need him.

"Pa?" Tommy glanced toward the staircase to see Carrie coming down. Worry settled in the pit of his stomach again, and he shook his head at the whirlwind that was his daughter. She was always so strong and independent, and that often interrupted her recovery. For the past few weeks, she'd been doing better at being cared for and waited on, but she was getting ornerier and restless, which was a surefire sign that she was getting better. But still, he didn't want to run the risk of losing her. Their family had already been through enough.

"Carrie? You should be restin'."

"I'm fine," Carrie said, rolling her eyes. "I'm ready to start workin'. Olive wanted me to have this place, and I figure it's time I started takin' care of it." Tommy eyed her, watching her as she came down the stairs with ease.

"Maybe physically," Tommy said, "but I think ya ought to get examined—"

"By that pig that calls himself a doctor?" Carrie demanded. "I ain't goin' back there, Pa. He was nothin' but rude to me when I was his patient. I'd rather wait for Dr. Mike." Tommy sighed and he shook his head, knowing there was no convincing that daughter of his. She was stubborn just like her mother. But he was stubborn too, so he figured he could give it another try.

"Dr. Mike ain't here."

"She'll be here soon. Next week." She moved toward the counter. "All I've done since I got hurt is lie there and think about everything bad that happened to me. I got my ma back and lost her at the same time. She wanted to be my ma, but she didn't know how to tell me without hurtin' me. But she left his place to me, so the least I can do is keep it up for her like she'd want." Tommy looked down. "No. Don't do that. We already went over this. I ain't mad at you. I'm just…confused. But the sooner I get back to work, the sooner I can get to feelin' better, so—"

"Me and Danny are managin' this place just fine."

"And I appreciate it, Pa, but it ain't your concern no more. It's mine." She smiled a little. "Take a break. Danny'll be here soon, and if I need any help, he can help me. Go get somethin' to eat at Grace's or get some fresh air. You've been workin' too hard on that leg of yours." Tommy sighed heavily, but when Carrie wrapped her arms around him and hugged him, he couldn't resist doing as she'd asked.

"Alright. Just for a little while. But, so help me, if ya hurt yourself, or Danny works ya to hard, I'll…"

"Go," Carrie insisted, pushing him toward the door. She smiled at him with reassurance, and when he was finally gone, she sat down behind the counter and began to try to pick herself back up so she could finally move forward.

Saturday May 20th 1871 – Colorado Springs

She paced along the back corridor of the clinic, as her Maid of Honor rushed along behind her, trying to keep the train to her dress picked up so it wouldn't attract dust.

"What if he's changed his mind? What if he doesn't want to marry me anymore?" Rebecca rolled her eyes and suppressed a giggle but knew better than to let her nervous sister see.

"He hasn't. Of course he wants to marry you!" Rebecca put her hands on her sister's shoulders for a moment, and Michaela stopped, letting Rebecca finish pinning a loose flower into her hair.

"You don't know that! Perhaps…" Michaela took a few deep breaths, as Rebecca interrupted.

"Yes I do. Please, calm down. You're only getting yourself worked up over nothing."

"Nothing? It isn't over nothing. Perhaps it's all too much." Michaela's hand moved to her stomach, and she felt a tear slip down her cheek.

"Too much? If it were too much, he would have left months ago. He isn't that kind of man, and you know that perfectly well. You know he loves you. He loves you more than anything!" Rebecca touched her chin and turned it up so she could look into Michaela's eyes.

"Yes…but…"

"There are no 'buts.' He loves you. Trust in that. When you walk down that aisle today, he's going to be there, smiling only at you." Michaela felt her heart skip a beat, and she looked down at the ring on her finger, shining at her like their star did from up above.

"If he's standing there."

"There, there, dear. Don't worry about a thing. You rest, and I'll see if I can find that groom-to-be." Michaela watched Rebecca leave the clinic, and she picked up her skirt and headed back into one of the recovery rooms. She took a few deep breaths and looked at herself in the mirror. What was wrong with her? Of course Sully would be there. He loved her more than anything. Perhaps it was her own insecurities about being a married woman that had her on edge. She knew what it was like to be with him, so that wasn't stopping her. Perhaps it was the idea that after all of this planning and dreaming of the future, they were about to be man and wife. It had all happened so fast, and she suddenly felt dizzy.

Suddenly, a knock came to the door, and Michaela gasped.

"Rebecca?"

"Michaela? It's me," came that familiar voice that made her heart beat faster each time she heard it.

"Sully?"

"You ok? Rebecca said ya got worried, and…" Michaela moved toward the door, pressing her hand against it, knowing she couldn't see him until she was walking down the aisle. "She said ya thought maybe I changed my mind. Ya know I'd never do that."

"I know, Sully. I'm sorry. I guess I just…I got worried."

"Ya ain't havin' second thoughts, are ya?"

"Of course not," she whispered, longing to reach out and touch him. "I suppose after everything that's happened…I'm just wondering if it's too good to be true." On the other side of the door, Sully grinned and shook his head.

"Just you wait, Michaela. In a few minutes, we'll be sayin' our vows, and we'll have the rest of our lives together as husband and wife." Michaela smiled at those words, and tears glistened in her eyes at his reassurance.

"I can hardly wait," she smiled. "I love you."

"I love you."

April 6th 1871 – Boston

Nighttime had fallen, and Michaela was preparing for bed. The household had quieted tremendously, and Marjorie was sleeping in one of the guest rooms, so she could see her family off in the morning.

Thinking about everything that had changed over the last month was so overwhelming to Michaela. Marjorie's presence in the house had increased, and she barely heard from her other sisters except for their stop-in that afternoon. Rebecca was usually out and about with Timothy, who had decided to stay in Boston until they left, so they could all return together.

It was amazing how quickly things had changed with Timothy. It was as if he was a different man entirely. He had agreed to marry them next month, and he had even agreed to christen the baby. When the time came. He and Rebecca were growing closer, and Sully had been suspicious that it was all an act for a while, but it was becoming apparent that Timothy wanted nothing more than to start over, and that's what he'd done.

She knew that Rebecca still felt quite out of sorts about her past, but they had had many, many late night talks about how they were still sisters in every way that counted, and nothing could change that. Michaela had decided that once she had the chance to read the journal, she would pass it on to her other sisters, but she was certain that her sisters would refuse to even speak about their mother's past. Michaela just felt grateful she had Marjorie and Rebecca now, because they had been very supporting and caring toward her when it seemed that the rest of society looked down upon her, especially as her belly had started to expand, and it became more and more apparent that she was indeed pregnant.

Among relationships being formed was one between Rebecca and Gabrielle. She seemed very taken with the little girl, and she treated her with kindness and love, and it was obvious that she would be a very strong fixture in the little girl's life now that her own mother was gone. Besides, the two had a lot in common, and it was amazing to see how quickly they had bonded.

Gabby had been a frequent guest in the house, having dinners and play dates with the children. She had already come a long way from the shy, sad little girl that had first entered their house that fateful March evening. She still had her moments of melancholy, but the death of her mother was beginning to loosen its grips on her spirits, and she was beginning to blossom into a normal, active child.

Hearing a knock at her door, Michaela sucked in a sharp breath. Her immediate thought was that it could be Sully. What about their deal? God, what if she couldn't resist him? She knew he wouldn't do anything she didn't want him to, but sometimes she felt that she could barely resist his presence at all.

She pulled a robe around her sleeveless gown and slowly crossed the room to the door. When she opened it up, she was surprised to see Johnny standing there.

"Hi Ma," he said tiredly.

"Johnny, what are you doing up? We have an early day tomorrow."

"I couldn't sleep," he said softly. "I went to Pa, but I think he was already sleepin'." Michaela smiled. "Could ya tell me a story?" Michaela smiled and nodded, following the boy to his room. Once inside, she tucked him in, feeling more and more like a mother. She couldn't wait to tuck the new baby in like this.

"What story would you like to hear this time?" she asked, sitting on the edge of his bed. Johnny thought for a moment, and he yawned.

"Tell me what it's gonna be like when the baby gets here," he whispered. Michaela thought for a moment, a smile playing over her lips. She didn't hear the sound of a recently awakened Sully's footsteps outside the door or see him peer through the half-opened door.

"Well, alright," she agreed, looking up and thinking about a good starting point. "Once upon a time, there was a little boy named Johnny. He lived with his ma and his pa in Colorado Springs. Life had been a little rough for a while, but everything was beginning to smooth over, and a new baby was about to be born."

"Make it a boy," he said with a grin. Michaela bit back a giggle, and she nodded.

"He often wondered what it would be like to have a little brother that he could teach things to. He could teach him how to climb trees and go fishing. He couldn't wait to meet his new brother. When the day finally came, Johnny and his pa were nervous. He was a little frightened, because his ma didn't sound happy. Finally, she asked for her husband to join them, because she wasn't certain she wanted to go through it alone." A distant, teary look appeared in her eyes, as Johnny began to drift off. "He sat with her, and when they heard the sound of their baby's first cries, they knew it was a miracle." She looked down at Johnny and she sighed softly. "Johnny got to meet his new little brother, and he loved him very much." The boy was already sound asleep, so Michaela softly brushed his hair off of his forehead and kissed him there. When she stood up, she moved to the door and shut herself into the hallway. She was surprised to see Sully standing there. "Sully! How long have you been…how…"

"I didn't mean to eavesdrop. But I liked the story ya told," he said with a smile. Michaela blushed. "Did ya mean what ya said?"

"What?"

"Ya want me there when you have the baby?" Michaela swallowed hard.

"Well, I know it isn't done, but you know us. We haven't exactly followed convention lately." She looked down, pressing her hand against her tummy. Sully smiled a little and he took her hand.

"When Johnny was born, I was just in the other room. I heard him cry, and…and I knew he was alright. I knew he was gonna grow up to be a strong, healthy little boy, but I felt a little…jealous of Abby." Michaela's eyes widened.

"Jealous?"

"She was right there. She got to see it happen. She was the one givin' birth to him, and I felt so helpless…like I hadn't done anything to get him there. I know nothin' could ever compare to what ya do when you're havin' the baby, but I'd love to be there holdin' your hand." Michaela smiled, and she wrapped her arms around him, softly kissing his cheek.

"I want you in there, Sully. I want you with me." Sully nodded, and he kissed her forehead.

"Then there ain't no place else I wanna be." She smiled, kissing his lips before backing down again, before they could even attempt to go too far. "I'll see ya in the mornin'?"

"Bright and early," she assured him. "I love you."

"I love you too. G'night."

"Night." She smiled and walked into her room, closing her bedroom door and retiring to bed to think about her very busy future.

Rebecca was just drifting off to sleep when she heard the soft tapping at her bedroom door.

"Mother? Mother?" Mary's tired voice startled her, and she quickly got out of bed and turned up the lamp. When she opened the door, Mary stood there clutching an envelope in her hands.

"What's this, Mary?" she asked, yawning and straining to see her through the dim light. Her eyes were heavy with exhaustion, but she could see that her little girl was nowhere near being sleepy. What she didn't know was that her conscience was keeping her awake. She'd withheld the letter for too long.

"A letter for you."

"For me? When did it come?" Mary looked down.

"I found it last month, and I didn't…I didn't know when to give it to you." Rebecca squinted her eyes, as Mary held the envelope out to her. "It was in a box of baby stuff for a little boy named Robert. Who's he?" Rebecca froze, and she slowly took the envelope in her hands. "Who is he, Mother? Who's Robert?" Rebecca took her daughter's hand in hers and she knelt down at eye-level with her.

"I'll explain someday, sweetheart," she promised. "Right now, I don't think you're old enough to understand." Mary pulled away, surprising her mother.

"I'm not old enough for anything," she cried. She turned away, but Rebecca pulled her close.

"What's the matter, Mary? I didn't mean…"

"Gabby's going to be ten, and Johnny's going to be eleven! I'm not even six yet! It's not fair!" Rebecca frowned, taking her little girl into her arms.

"Sweetheart, are they making you feel left out?" Mary shrugged her shoulders. "What is it? I can speak with them…" Mary shook her head furiously.

"Johnny…he's my best friend," she whispered. "It doesn't feel that way anymore." Rebecca gently rubbed a tear from Mary's cheek.

"You're worried about Gabby," Rebecca concluded. "Johnny is a wonderful little boy, Mary. I'm sure he's just trying to make her feel as if she fits in. Everything has been so confusing for her for a while. I'm sure that when we get back to Colorado, everything will work out." Mary shook her head.

"What if it doesn't?" Rebecca smiled at her daughter's innocence.

"Don't worry about that, dear. You should go try to get some sleep. Tomorrow's a new day. You never know what could happen." Mary considered her mother's words and then gave her a big hug. She smiled, trying to think positively, as she hurried off to her bedroom. Rebecca smiled, shaking her head before remembering the letter that her daughter had given her.

Turning back into her room and retiring back to her bed, she turned the lamp light up all the way and slowly opened the sealed letter. Who could this be from? The envelope was a bit yellowed with age, so it had to have been hidden away for years. She could only imagine what words she would find scrawled across the page, and it made her almost not want to read it.

But her curiosity had gotten the better of her. She had to find out what was in that letter. So, she pulled the piece of paper out and held it toward the firelight. Then she began to read.

My Dearest Rebecca,

If you ever receive this letter, I hope it's after you've learned the truth, because what I'm about to say might come as a shocking blow to you. I'm not the man that gave you life, but I am the man that helped to bring you into this world. I am your father from now until the day the world ends. If your mother knew I was writing this letter, she would probably have my hide, but she's resting now. I didn't think she'd ever rest, but I'm certain the events from the past few days have worn on her, causing her resolve to crumble.

You're sleeping so peacefully in your bed, as I sit here beside you writing. You look like an angel, and you grow more beautiful every day. It's hard to believe that your brother is gone. Robert was a beautiful young boy, and the two of you were inseparable. Now I fear you'll never remember that tender relationship.

I need you to understand why we could never tell you. I feel that it's my duty as your father, so I will tell you in writing, because it's the only way I know how to get my words out without messing up or saying the wrong thing.

Your true father, Stephen O'Connor, asked me on his deathbed to take care of your mother and of you. She was a new bride and newly pregnant, and I had cared for her since before she married Stephen. But we barely knew one another. She was in love, and she followed her heart. How could I expect anything else? When Stephen asked me to take care of his family, I promised him. And after he was gone, Elizabeth was grief-stricken. But we were married, and somehow we had all of Boston fooled. You were my daughter in everyone's eyes, including mine.

When both you and Robert were born, we didn't get many visitors, because Elizabeth felt bouts of melancholy every once in a while, and the few people who did visit barely spoke of Robert after his death. Your mother silently forbade his name, and I felt obligated not to mention him, though I spoke to him often in my dreams. With time, I'm certain that many may forget, and I think that may be what your mother wants.

But you…you were an angel, Rebecca. For a while after he was gone, you often cried out for him in your sleep, but as time passed, it seemed as if your young memories were fading away, and you grew protective of your younger siblings. I often wondered if you were that way just because you were you…or if it was because you didn't want to lose anyone else like you lost Robert. I often wondered if you would feel that loss as you grew older. I've heard that twins can often feel each other's pain. Can one feel the other's loss as well?

I hope I live to see you grow into a beautiful young woman with a family of your own. But just know that I will always be your family.

Calling you my daughter was never a lie in my eyes. As far as I'm concerned, you've been my daughter since the day I promised to take care of you and your mother; not just because I had to, but because I wanted to. You will always be my beautiful little girl, and I will never consider you anything less than that. You are special, Rebecca, and someday, you may learn the truth about your parentage, but I hope our time together will have proven to you that I never considered you anything less than my own.

Your loving father,

Josef Quinn

Rebecca closed her eyes and smiled, clutching the letter to her chest. Something inside of her felt set free, and she didn't know what it was. Reading her father's own words had suddenly caused everything to come together. She felt guilty and selfish for being so upset, but at the same time, how could she not have felt those ways? It had come as such a shock to her, but now she knew without a doubt that she had been loved, regardless of her parentage.

With a sigh, she placed the letter back into the envelope and tucked it into the suitcase beside her bed. Tomorrow, she was going back to Colorado Springs and leaving Boston behind once more. This time, she was going with a better knowledge of where she'd come from, so hopefully now she could look on to the future and stop living in the past.