TITLE: The Upper School
AUTHOR: Danielle
SUMMARY: AU. Buffy's POV throughout middle and high school, dealing with normal teen things like, friends and Angel.
RATING: This part can be a light R…
DISCLAIMER: All characters are Joss Whedon's. The school and teachers are all based on real people. School name and teacher names are changed for privacy reasons.
DEDICATION: To my Willow and Xander, and to MY Angel.
AN: After many question, I need to clear this up… This is not my life. If you have any questions on it, feel free to email me.
AN: Also, many questions on this. I know it says trimesters, and I know a lot of schools don't follow trimesters, but this is a private school, not a public school and it has it's own system. There is three trimesters, you guys are right, but June isn't made to be seen as a Trimester, but it is added as one for the benefit of the story and also for how my school follows through thing. If you are still confused email me.
8th Grade- Trimester Two-
December, 1998
WARNING: Slight B/F, marked with a star
My jeans were just a bit tight on me, and my shirt was just a bit high, but I looked good, and that's what matters. I sat down in History, really Civics because we were learning no History whatsoever. Just government stuff, but some reason they still called it History. Weird really…
I sit in the back and wait for my friends to come. My heart sinks a little and I can't explain why, I'm popular now, and that is what essential, right? I scratch my head and suddenly the seat next to me fills up and I look up and see Cordelia picking up her notebook and opening her book. Darla and Eve sitting in front of us.
They turned around and started to talk about something that happened on Dawson's Creek and I nod, laugh, and sigh at the right moments but for some reason, I just wasn't there. The teacher came in and Darla and Eve turned around in their seats and pulled out their laptops. I roll my eyes every time I see them. Darla couldn't help but show off she was rich. I look over at Cordelia and she looks over at me, and we snickered lightly at each other. We both are rich but we didn't show it off purposely.
I start dozing off in class, like always, when I see a red head walking out of another class and all I can think at that moment is Willow. I shut my eyes quickly but it was there, that little ache in my heart. I remember how last Friday, Darla's mom was driving us to their home to get ready for some kind of party when we passed the sidewalk and I saw Xander and Willow got off the Ride On and start walking towards the mall. It felt like my heart was going to break. It did. I wasn't part of that group anymore, and it was all my fault, I did it to myself.
Cordelia pocked me and I shot her a glare when she motioned to the front of the room. I snapped up to the front of the room and Mrs. Laurence was waiting for my answer. Shit… I look over at Cordelia in sheer desperation and she shrugs her shoulders at me. At least someone else was dozing off too.
I hear Darla and Eve snicker and I glare at them from behind. I take a deep breath. "I'm sorry, I didn't hear the question, Mrs. Laurence."
Mrs. Laurence looks up at the ceiling and then gives me a sort of glare look. "Miss Summers can you explain what a Local court is?"
What the hell is a local court? My heart starts to beat and I think my hands are sweating. Shit, shit, shit, shit… I'm so screwed. "It's uh… a court," I say slowly and I hear a chuckle go around the classroom.
"Yes, Miss Summers. It is a court," the teacher says exasperated. "Care to explain further?"
"It's local, like in the county. And uh, uh umm Oh! Were the first cases are held. Like were the first ones start out and then once a decision is made in other courts, not the local courts, you can appeal and uh everything." See stupid teacher, I'm not that much of an idiot. Nah-nah-nah boo-boo.
"Thank you Miss Summers for that explanation, now would anyone like to explain that again with a lot less ums and likes?" the teacher said, this time glaring.
I scowl at her and look at Cordelia who is just rolling her eyes at the stupid history teacher. Bitch, she mouths at me, and I nod my head furiously in agreement.
When the class was finally over, and I walked out of the room to the hallway, it felt nice when people started looking at me, and not for bad reasons. Well, not just me, but us, Cordelia, and Darla, and Eve but still… it felt nice. I was one with the in crowd. It was a different feeling. It was like people would just move out of their for us and stare, like we are something special. And we are. I am.
It's nice, when juniors like Wesley Price check you out. It was a pride thing. I was never the pretty, I was always in-between, pretty and cute, but never gorgeous and hot. Now I was asked out more times this year then all my years together. It was different, and just amazing.
"Earth to Buffy Summers, were are you?" Darla said as she snapped her fingers in my face.
I blink at her and then sort of shake my head. "Yes Darla?"
"Are you coming?" she said raising her eyebrows as we reached my locker.
"Uh… where?"
"To Dru's? You know her party?" She says raising her eyebrows expectantly.
"Oh yeah. I'm coming. Probably, I mean it is tonight, right?" As I twist my lock to open.
"Yes, were have you been?" Darla said as she looked at her nails. "Anyways, do you need a ride again? Cause I don't think my mother-"
"I don't. I'm going with Spike and Faith," I say as I get my books for the next class.
"I don't understand how you can stand to be around that girl. I mean she is just so… She dresses like a slut, Buffy."
"Darla," I sigh at her.
"Anyways, Spike is cool. He and Dru seem to be getting closer, you think we have a matching?"
I scrunch my nose like I was trying to remember something and then take my Math folder. I look over at Darla as I close my locker. "I think he is into Faith," I say nonchalant.
"God, who would be into that freak," she says as we walk to her locker. I just roll my eyes.
"Jeez, Buff, make your mind up already," Faith said as she lay on her back on my bed.
"It's not easy. I have to look perfect!" I say, as I threw yet another pair of jeans into the pile of jeans that would just not fit to be worn for the party tonight.
"Whatever," Faith said as she rolls her eyes.
The door suddenly opens and Spike comes into the room, "How are my girls?"
"Spike!" I yell horrified, standing in the middle of the room with only my shirt and thong on. "Get the hell out of
here!"
Faith laughed as Spike went quickly out of the room and I turned quickly and glared at her. "That so wasn't funny!"
Faith shook her head. "It was, just a little bit." She replies as she starts sniggering. I just glare at her.
We all climbed up slowly towards Drusilla's giant house. The stone stairs lead us to double doors were two huge guards stood. Walkie-talkie and everything. When we finally got through Spike turned to us and said, "She told me her mom works for the FBI or something. Cool, huh?"
"Whatever," Faith replies as we pounded down to the basement were we could hear the music blaring. I looked over at both my friends before we walked in.
"Buffy!" Darla said as she started to walk towards me. I smile tightly at her as she pulls me towards were she is hanging out. I look back at Spike and Faith, but Spike was being dragged away by Drusilla and Faith was left to herself.
I bit my lip before turning back towards Darla and all my other friends. Darla and Cordelia started talking about some hot seniors. Getting bored quickly, I scanned the room to see who was there. Percy, Larry, Graham and Hogan were all laughing at something, sitting on the couches. Penn, James, Spike and Dru were leaning against the bar Dru had in the basement, drinking something out of a red cup. Nina, Kathy and Sam watched as Riley and Forest were having a knuckle fights.
"Is Angel coming?" I ask, as I look around again. He had to be invited, Angel, was Angel. Everyone new Angel.
"He is behind you, you idiot," Darla said rolling her eyes.
I turn slowly around and I feel a huge smile grace my face. "Angel!"
"Hey," he smiles.
We leave the group and start walking towards the deserted part of the basement and sat on the couches, which were white leather. The coffee table in front was full of candies that Angel was already devouring.
"Watcha ya doing this weekend?" he asked as he opened another Milky Way.
"I don't know, Dad said he might take me to a movie. Why? Want to do something?" I ask, as I allow myself to take a Kit-Kat.
"Sure, that new Bruis Willis movie is coming out, wanna see it?"
"No! Nothing with dying. How about that movie with Carmen Diaz?"
"Okay," he said. "Anything with her in it."
I chuckled. "I heard she was nude or something. Or just wiggling her butt a lot."
"Probably," he said as he shoved more candy in his mouth.
I look around the room when I see someone start to come down the stairs. I nudge Angel to look over and he rolls his eyes. "He is a freak."
"Angel!" I whisper, but grinning foolishly at the comment anyways.
"He was like depressed at his old school or something. He cut himself," Angel explained.
I make a face of disgust and sort of scrunch my shoulders up. Depressed he might be, but he still held a lot of interest to everyone. No one really knew him. Everyone in the party, though, was looking at him. He was pale, and simply gorgeous. Dark brown hair, and eyes like a dark ocean; no one could deny that he was attractive.
Ford. That's what people called him. He came from another school, but rumors were already flying about who he was and what had happened. I take Angel hands in mine and ignore him when he holds on tighter then he should when he sees were we are heading.
"What the hell do you think you are doing?" He says as he follows me to the direction of Ford.
"Lets just go say hi," I say.
"What? No!"
But we were already there. "Hey Ford."
He looks me over, up and down and I feel Angel squeeze my hand tighter. Oww, and it hurt. "Hey."
Angel sort of nods his head before letting go of my hand and whispers in my ear that he is going to hang out with
Percy and those people. I shrug my shoulders and smile at Ford. "Two is merrier."
He rolls his eyes a bit and then looks down. "So… I didn't now you were invited. You friends with Dru or something?"
He looks at me and his stare is so intense I start to feel uncomfortable. "We used to go to the same school."
"Oh," I whisper.
"Yeah," he says. The silence starts to elapse and my head starts to pound.
"Everyone circle!" Darla yells. My savor.
Me and Ford start walking towards were Darla is and were everyone was forming a circle. I sit next to Angel and Cordelia and can't help but thinking we are in third grade about to play a game of Truth and Dare. But I never played Truth and Dare with boys before.
"Seven Minutes in Heaven," Darla says, as if she reads my thoughts. She holds up a bottle and my heart starts to beat. Yes, I have become one of the most popular girls in our school. Yes, I went on my dates. No, I haven't kissed a boy yet.
"Darla, that is so childish," Cordelia says, rolling her eyes.
"Childish yes, but are we in fifth grade? No, in eighth. And if you refuse to do it, then there will be a truth. And you have to answer it," Darla said spinning the bottle in her arms.
People gulp. Darla might be in eighth grade but when she talks like that, you know she means it. My breath starts to grow deeper and I think I might choke, on what, I don't know yet. I start to chew at my lip and then look at everyone around me. No one seems so freaked out. Relaxed. Has everyone else kissed someone already? Willow hasn't kissed anyone! Neither has Xander.
And that is when it sort of dawns on me, we aren't together anymore. We are totally in different groups. Me in this group with people who don't mind playing seven minutes in heaven and them in the innocent group, who would never play seven minutes in heaven. I shut my eyes tightly.
This couldn't happen. I don't want my first kiss to be in a freaking closet with some random guy. I want to have a date, and dinner. Possibly a movie. And then we are on the doorstop and Angel kiss-
My brain freezes and thinks one thing: Angel. Now I really am hyperventilating. Oh no, not Angel. Can't be Angel. I don't like Angel. He is one of those non-boyfriend friends. He is my friend! But he is sort of cute, high voice and all. And he is always there for me. But he is ANGEL!
I see the bottle spinning and feel choked up. It lands on me. My eyes grow wide and I look at Angel frantically. He
sort of shrugs his arms at me and I want to slap him. He should do something! My hearts starts beating wildly and I can't calm myself down.
Darla smiles slyly at me when she spins the bottle again and I watch as it moves slowly around the circle. The blue haze of the bottle starts to creep slowly before it lands on… I look up and see Fords dark blue eyes piercing at me. No…
"What's uh my dare?" I whisper.
Darla looks at me and smirks. "If you could choose anyone here to go in the room with you, who would it be?"
I shut me eyes and look back at Angel. I can't tell everyone I like Angel! But I don't like him! I slowly climb up and stand and people start jeering. This so wasn't happing. This couldn't happen. I'm only thirteen!
stars
Me and Ford slowly walk into the bathroom and watch as the door closes in our face. My heart starts beating wildly and it won't stop. Ford closes the light and starts coming towards me. He stands in front of me, to close to me. Angel. Angel. Angel. Angel. My eyes shut tight and I feel his lips against mine. It's funny and weird and disturbing. I try not to scrunch up but I start kissing back best I know, and I feel his tongue pushing my teeth and I'm about to tell him the tongue is in the way when he starts sticking it down my mouth. French kissing. I start to do it back to him, and I feel his hands reach across my back and pull at my shirt. He stops kissing me and I feel his hands climb my back under my white Michael Star shirt and pull at my black Victoria Secret bra. He pulls my shirt up and he looks at my breast for a second before cupping them both in his pale hands. He starts rubbing his hands around them and all I feel is myself want to barf.
I don't feel any pleasure at all. All I feel is sickness. He unzips his pants and that's when I see it. Bumpy, vainly and ugly. I look up at him in horror. It's hairy too. He brings my hands to it and he starts making me rub it up and down. I sort of get the feel of it when I feel it grow into a straight line. I look down at for a second and see something yellow at the tip of it. I look up to see him look at me eagerly. He kisses me again and this time I'm more relaxed. When he starts to reach further down my pants I pull away. Hiding myself from him. My heart is pounding and tears are burning to come out of my eyes but all I can see is Ford with his smirk. And Darla with her smirk. He zips his pants up and helps me strap my bra back on and then he pulls me into his arms. Like he cares or something.
He pulls my chin up and kisses me. I kiss him back and feel his hand tangle in my hair. He cups my breast through my shirt. And I shut my eyes tightly. He looks at me when he pulls away and I feel my throat tighten up. He lets go and I move away from him and all we do is gaze at each other.
The door to the bathroom flings open and Darla is their, bottle once again in her hands, her eyebrows raised. She smirks when she sees our flushed appearances and leads us back to the circle. This time I sit next to Faith, who looks at me weirdly before looking away. I pull my knees to my chest and look up to see Angel staring at me. His dark eyes broken.
stars
Tears start to well in my eyes, and I can't make any thought clear in my head. All I can see is Ford touching me. Me touching him. Everything is blurred and muddy and all I see is him, touching me. But I know one thing. One thing is clear in my muddled mine.
"I'm going to the kitchen for a second," I say. I get up and I see everyone's eyes on me. I climb the stares slowly and see Dru's parents talking in the kitchen.
"Hi," I say quietly. "Can I borrow your phone?"
"Sure, honey," her mom says handing me the portable phone.
I smile at them gratefully and start dialing the number I know by heart.
The phone picks up and I hear Mrs. Rosenberg's voice echo into the phone. "Hello?"
"Hi, it's Buffy. Can I talk to Willow?"
I here her call Willow's name to tell her to pick up the phone and I hear her giggling as she says hello. Xander must be there to.
"Wi-Willow?" I say, trying hard not to sob.
Her giggling stops and I hear her take a sharp breath. "Buffy?"
"Willow, can you come pick me up?" I whispered.
"Buffy, what's wrong? Where are you?" she says frantically into the phone.
"At Drusilla's house. Can you just come? Please?" I cry silently.
"Of course but-" I hang up before she can ask me any questions. I can't handle anything right now.
I hand Dru's phone back to her parents and climb back down the stairs. "My mom is making me go home early. Parents…" I say.
"I thought you are sleeping over?" Faith said.
"My mom said we have this thing tomorrow. I hate how they just change their decisions like that."
I grab my stuff and go quickly up the stairs. I go outside and feel the cool rush go to my cheeks. Tears start streaming down my cheeks. I feel the door open behind me I turn quickly around and come face to face with my worst nightmare.
"What's going on, Buffy?" Angel says coming towards me.
I move away. "Nothing."
"What happened?"
I glare at him. "None of your business."
"It is my business. You're my best friend."
My heart jumps and I try to smile but more tears just come down. I come closer to him and hug him. But he doesn't hug me back. "That means a lot. But really, nothing." He slowly brings his hands around my waist and hugs me tight.
He looks done at me, and he knows that something did happen. But he doesn't say anything. I pull away when I hear a car come and I look up into his eyes. He lets go and I walk slowly towards the car and I look at him once more before turning my gaze to the car.
I come up into the car and I see Willow's dad in his pajamas and Willow and Xander in the backseat. The tears start to rush up into my eyes and I remember Ford rubbing himself against me and the sticky feel of his penis. Willow rushes out and I feel my face crumple.
"Buffy what's wrong?" she whispers.
All I do is cry as she pulls me into the car and holds me. We get to her house and I silently go up the familiar yet no so unknown stairs. Her mom left another sleeping bag but Willow brought me to her bed. I lay there and I here Xander and Willow but all I see and hear are visions. Visions, of me and Ford.
"Buffy?"
I look over at them and they come over. Willow sits next to Xander stands close to the bed but stands far enough to show he doesn't trust me. My heart clenches and I feel another sob take over me. "I'm sorry."
"Buffy," Willow said ignoring my apology. "What happened?"
But I stay silent. Willow starts to move her hand up and down my hair but I flinch, remembering Ford. His hands in my hair. His hands smoothing my hair. His hands on my breast. His tongue in my mouth. I shiver. I look up at Willow and I get up but she lays my down again.
She smoothes my hair until I fall into a troubled sleep. My dreams are filled with Ford touching me and looking at me with his slimy eyes, but when I his hands start to touch me again, it's Angel. His hands softly touching my breast. His hands stroking my hair. But when I look up again it's Ford.
When Willow and Xander woke up, I was gone.
TBC