TITLE: The Upper School

AUTHOR: Danielle

SUMMARY: AU. Buffy's POV throughout middle and high school, dealing with normal teen things… and Angel.

DISCLAIMER: All the characters are Joss Whedon's, the school and teachers own themselves, (will the schools is … but) but all names are changed for privacy.

RATING: PG- 15, depends what you are aloud. This fic is going to be graphic and not only sex wise, but pain wise. Also, as to prove my innocence and no one gets mad at me, if I offend anyone with comments in this fic, I am already sorry, but it's thoughts of Buffy not me, I don't think that way and I add these things for the thoughts of the story and not to offend anyone.

DEDICATION: To my Willow and Xander, and to MY Angel.

FEEDBACK: Would love some!

AN: This is my disclaimer. This is not my life, please do not think that one teenager went through all this. There are some serious issues going to happen in this fic and if you need clearing up on certain things, feel free to email me or IM me at MooShee16.

AN: Two things about the last part, a lot of people didn't understand why Buffy acted the way she did when she found out about Fred having an eating disorder. When you're friend has an eating disorder, it's hard because you wonder why you couldn't do anything, if you guys have more questions on it feel free to email or IM me. Also, in the begging a lot of people didn't understand why Buffy and Angel were being so intimiate for being such young kids, and I don't want to sound mean or rude, but at that age AT MY SCHOOL that's what happened. If you guys have questions again email, IM me whatever, I'm willing to share. Again, sorry if I offened anyone with how graphic it was for minors.

9th Grade- June, 2000

The fact of the matter is that school is over and now we have finals. Not one final like last year but four finals. Four freakin' finals! Math, Science, History and English. No offense but has the school gone like nuts! I mean seriously, I know are school needs like a good reputation and stuff but honestly they need to remember we are kids! Kids who have lives other than school. But then again, I can't really say that because most of my friends all they think about is school. I mean honestly, I can probably say that 85 of what I think about has something to do with school. If I think about it. Another 10 probably has to do with Angel, or boys but mostly Angel and then I guess the last 5 percent has to do with TV. Because if I think about it really, if I'm not talking to my friends about school we are talking about TV or Angel, which also has to do with school. I have no life.

I open my Science book and stare at it blankly. Like they really think I am going to know… ANYTHING that has to do with Science! I hate my school. To much work. All I get is work. And I always wondered is it the same in public school. A lot of people tell me yeah, but it doesn't sound like it. When we were in eighth grade we read Cold Sassy Tree, Animal Farm, Romeo and Juliet, Mice and Men, Night, and To Kill A Mockingbird. And in public school they read those books in ninth grade. I never understood why? Like with Math too, we are learning Geometry with Trigonometry. In public school, they don't learn that till like eleventh grade.

Stupid school.

And still staring blankly at the stupid science book. I hate science. So stupid.

---

I hate Science. I'm so going to die. This final is going to kill me.

---

"ANGEL! I need help!"

"Buffy, I need to study for my own final," I hear Angel's annoyed voice. Stupid Angel.

"Angel," I whine. "You know everything about science already. I don't know anything. And isn't helping me study help you study?" I add innocently.

"Buffy, I'm in double honors."

Stupid people in double honors. How the hell is anyone in double honors in science? Double honors… I hate those people. How is anyone in honors science. Like I mean, college prep, which is the regular class, is hard enough. Honors I know is probably a million times harder, but double honors. That's like double the hardness of science. For really smart science people, however they can be smart in science.

"Fine, then I won't help you." And I hang up. Like I could help him in science. I sigh and look around my room and then at my science book.

"You're are so evil," I whisper harshly to it. Biology, how I hate you.

I walk over to the stupid book and open it once again. Ten minutes later, I notice I am still reading the same sentence. My door opens and I am about to yell at Dawn until I see Angel standing there with his science book and all his notes.

"What are you doing here? I thought you were to smart for me?" I glare at my boyfriend.

"Shut up and study," he says as he sits on my bed and opens his book.

I keep glaring at him and finally he turns towards me. "What!"

"Nothing," and turn away and look at some weird picture in my book.

An hour after Angel arrived and has done nothing to help me study, I feel him wrap his arms around my waist. I turn around from were I am lying on my back and glare at him.

"You spend an hour here not helping me study and now you want some lovin'. No, I don't think so."

"I need a break so I think I'm going to help you," he says into my neck. I get up quickly and shove my big heavy book into his chest.

"Finally!" I sit up straight and look at Angel. "Well?"

"Well what?"

"Teach me!"

He flips through the book and finally lands on something. "What are the five stages of Mitosis and Meiosis ?"

I flip through the book in my brain. Nope we didn't learn that. "Angel, we didn't learn that."

"Yes you did."

Fuck. "We did?"

"Yes."

I look down for a second and breathe, okay. Fuck, I'm screwed. I look back at Angel and I already feel the tears welling in my eyes. I'm cryin over science! Science should so die! I feel Angel pull me towards him and I tuck my head in the crook of his neck. "Angel I don't know anything!"

He touches my cheek and I look up at him. He cups my cheek in his hands and he looks at me with those amazing eyes. "I'm going to help you."

I smile at him as my tears disappear. "Good."

I reopen my book and wait for Angel to start teaching me.

----

It's the end, finally! And I thought it would never would! Finals, a pain in my fucking ass. I rub my head in ache because it hurts so much. To much work, to much thinking. I sigh as I see Willow coming out of the of the other side of the gym. I wave at her, not even being able to talk. Two seconds later I hear a tune. "Willow… Dawson is telling me I failed."

"Huh?"

I pick my phone up and wave it. "See! It's fate, its telling me I failed!"

She rolls her eyes and I answer without looking at who it was. "Heeelllo?"

"Buffy?"

My eyes so popped out of my eyehole things. "Fred?"

"Hey, I'm back, home I mean."

"Omgiod! Omigod! Are you serious!" I look over at Willow and I whisper Fred, but I have a feeling she knew that already.

"Can I come and see you? Willow is here to? Want her to come?"

"Yeah, that would be great."

I'm so excited. I'm so excited. Fred is better. I say goodbye and hang up my cell phone and look over at Willow. "Fred's back!"

We start to jump up and down like freaks. Everything is all right; everything is turning out to be okay. Everything is going to be okay.

---

After seeing Fred at her house (who looks so much better!) I come home and find a surprise on my bed. "Angel!"

"Hey," he says, getting up from my bed.

"What do I owe this surprise to?" I say as I sit on my desk and open my computer up.

"Just wanted to talk to you, before you know, I can't."

I scrunch my nose at him. "Why wouldn't you be able to talk to me?"

"Camp, I'm going in a week."

So his point is… "Okay."

He seems to be frustrated about something. "Buffy, I'm leaving soon for the whole summer."

Okay... I have expected that, 'casue I'm leaving for the whole summer to, but why is he getting so mad? "Angel? What's up?"

He looks away from me for a moment and then back at me. He comes and makes me stand up from my sitting position and holds my hand tight in my hand. "I think, over the summer we should be… open or something."

I stare at him in horror. Open? What? I pull my hand away from him and look at him like he lost his mind. He has lost his mind! "What? Why?"

"It's just, I'm going to camp. And… it's camp, Buffy."

"SO just because you are going to camp you want to go and hook up with other girls or something?" I glare at him. How could he? Why? Why would he do this to me? I feel the sob start to choke in my throat and hold it back. I start breathing like I am having a heart attack, and I think I am.

Angel tries to take hold of my hand but all I do is slap it away. How could he? How can he hold my hand after what he just said? "Buffy, you know it's not like that."

"Really? 'Cause what I am hearing is that I'm not good enough to keep and you want to go to camp and kiss other girls."

I walk away from him and look out my window so he can't see my crying. How can he do this to me? I thought he liked me, I thought he cared about me! The sob comes out before I can stop it and I feel his arms come around my waist and I am too emotionally distraught to stop him.

"I don't want to break up with you, Buffy. I could never," he says as he turns me around and closes his arms around me and gives me a hug, holding me closely.

I get up slowly, letting go of him and walk to the other side of the room and glare at him with as much hatred that I can come up with. "You always do this to me. Dropping me like yesterday's trash."

He looks at me with pain in his eyes, but I just can't seem to care because I'm to involved in my mine. "If you don't want to break up fine. We're open, or whatever. So does this mean I can make out with all he guys I want?"

He looks up at me and I can see that I touched a nerve. Good, he understands now. "I'm going to go."

I turn around without saying goodbye or waving or evening watching him leave or anything. Once I know he is gone, I slowly get inside my bed and hold onto Mr. Gordo as tight as I can as tears slowly start to fall from my eyes. My heart is pounding in my chest and my eyes hurt so much and all I can do is wish Angel were next to me.

---

I haven't seen Angel in a week. And today is the day he is leaving, going to camp. He hasn't called, hasn't IMed me. Hasn't emailed me. Nothing. Not that I have done any of those things to him either.

It's seven thirty in the morning and I know Angel is leaving in half an hour to some place in Northern California where his camp is. I lay on my bed, looking at nothing, and hoping that something will happen.

I hear my sister talking downstairs, and people climbing the stairs in our house, but I don't seem to care anymore. Nothing is happy. God, I hate Angel. The door to my room is being opened and I am about to yell at my sister to go away when Angel comes in. Great… ANGEL! My eyes snap open and I see him looking at me, having this cute little smile on his face and my heart sort of warms up a little, especially when I see he has flowers in his hand and I need to remind myself that I am mad at him.

"Wh- What are you doing here?" I sit up in bed slowly and then I notice that my hair is a mess and my face must look like shit. Great, now he knows I am depressed about him.

"I uh wanted to see you before I left," he says as he sits the flowers on the floor and slowly comes to my bed. I start to move to the other side of the bed.

"That's great really Angel, but you're the one that wants to stick your tongue down other people's throats so…" I say as sarcastically.

"Buffy…"

"Yeah," God my voice sounds so mean! I love it. He deserves it.

He touches my cheek and I try to move away but he doesn't let me. He climbs on my bed and I know this is going to be my downfall because he smells so good and God his eyes are so brown and pretty… Send me to the crazy house. NOW!

"I don't want to break up with you," he says as he strokes my hair.

"Then what do you want, because really I'm sick of being played around."

"You. You know that, it's just over the summer… it could be easier this way. I'm going to camp and you're going to London and you know, you might meet this guy and want to kiss him and I don't want you to not to because of me."

"'Cause I can think in my head you are probably doing the same thing too?" I say glaring at him. "Don't turn this on me. You're the one that has to kiss other girls. What, was there this girl at camp you didn't tell me about?"

"No. Buffy, don't-"

"Don't what? Be like this? Not react badly because I know my boyfriend wants to go out with other girls," I yell at him. I shut my eyes tightly before looking up at him. He is looking at his hands and then he looks at me. "I'm really tired of this. If you feel the need to kiss other girls then fine. But know that I'm not going to do that."

"Don't try to make me feel guilty, Buffy. That's not fair," Angel says as he gets off my bed.

I get up too, my anger growing with every single word that he is saying. "Fair! Fair! Don't talk to me about fair. It's not fair that my boyfriend wants to cheat on me! I will make you feel guilty because you are! You should be, the fact that you don't makes me wonder what made me like you to begin with!"

I put my hands in my hair and turn away from him. I look over at my alarm clock and see it's seven fifty. "You should go, you won't want to miss your bus."

When I turn around, he is gone.

TBC – It gets better, I promise! 9th Grade is all drama, 10th is better.