Hey Guys, so I wrote another chapter…this one got away from me a little bit. I just started writing without really any direction and look what happened. Well, I hope this new chapter is as satisfying as the first two. As always all mistakes are mine and I sadly don't own the boys. Enjoy :)

The Vacant Year

Chapter Three

After the game, Dean and Lisa hang back with the other parents who are also waiting on their kids. Lisa stands in a circle with them chatting about the game, neighborhood gossip, and the latest PTA meeting.

At least that's what Dean assumes they are discussing. He's leaning against the railing with his arms crossed over his chest scanning the world. Dean is waiting for one of the parents to pop black eyes and start killing people.

Eventually, Ben comes running out of the dugout with the other kids. They chatter together in their own circle before breaking off to join their parents. Dean watches them interact so flawlessly together, so unaware of the world around them. At any moment they could be jumped by a demon…and they don't even know it.

"DEAN!" Ben calls, snapping Dean's attention away from threat detecting.

Ben runs towards him, there's dirt smeared across his cheek and his once white pants are grass stained. Dean stiffens. For a second he doesn't see Ben charging at him, but seven-year-old Sammy.

Sammy after he played in his first soccer game and scored his first goal. Sammy with joy shinning in his hazel eyes sprinting towards him with a youthful spark in his gate. Sammy bouncing circles around him asking: "did you see me Dean? Did you?"

The he smiled fondly down at Sammy and slung an arm around Sammy's shoulders and says: "I sure did. How about some ice cream Soccer-Star?"

And Sammy would nod vigorously. They'd walk off to the closest ice cream parlor and Sammy would get vanilla with rainbow sprinkles and hot fudge…

Dean blinks rapidly back into the present and scrubs his hands over his face washing away the tears building up behind his eyes. He zeroes in on Ben charging towards him with Lisa trailing a few paces behind, it's the only way he can stop himself from completely breaking down.

"I'm soooo glad you game Dean," Ben exclaims, his eyes bright with joy.

"'Course I came," Dean drawls as he wraps his arm around Ben's shoulders and pulls him into a half-embrace. "Wouldn't miss it for the world." Dean smiles charmingly down at him.

Although he'd rather be in the garage right now, fiddling with the inside of the car. Being out in the "real world" gives him too much time to think. Being out in the world that he and Sam saved and Sam not being here to see it…just hurts.

He's fairly certain Lisa sees through the fake smiles and laughs. But he has to do put on a show. They don't need to know how bad it really is. How torn up and raw he feels inside. Almost as if Alistair is inside of him slicing and dicing until there's nothing left but ground and shredded organs. So he puts up his triple-iron enforced walls, plastering his charm-all smile to his face and fakes it.

They walk to Lisa's Sedan almost like they're a family. Dean almost feels as if he belongs there. But, the other parents are shooting him weary side glances. He shoves his hands deep into his jean pockets. Dean keeps his gaze downcast as they stroll by, not wanting to draw anymore unwanted attention.

Dean feels as if he's intruding on some kind of underground cult. He feels their gaze bore into his back as he passes by. He feels the questions swirling around the air like a light breeze.

Who is he? Where did he come from? What's he doing with Lisa? Is that Ben's father?

Relief rushes through him when they finally reach the car. He slips into the passenger's seat and slams the door closed, successfully shutting out the world. As per Ben requests AC/DC is blasting through the speakers as they drive to the diner for an early dinner.

Dean's okay until "Back in Black" comes on…

'Dude, you gotta update your cassette collection.'

'Why?'

'Well, for one, they're cassette tapes. And two Black Sabbath, Motörhead, Metallica? It's the greatest hits of mullet rock.'

'House rules Sammy, driver picks the music shotgun shuts his cakehole.'

'You know, 'Sammy' is a chubby twelve-year-old. It's Sam okay?'

'Sorry, can't hear you…the music's too loud.'

From the sympathetic look he receives from Lisa, he knows his eyes must look misty. And even though his heart aches at the bittersweet memory, Dean can't help the slight smile that passes across his lips when he thinks of Sam's scowl at the nickname and the music choice.

They're seated at a booth in the back corner. Dean makes sure to sit with his back to the wall so he can face the door and watch for incoming threats. Ben crawls over to the window and Lisa slides in next to him.

The diner carries the same atmosphere as all the other roadside diners that he and Sam stopped in daily. Dean stares down at the menu, taking note of all the 'rabbit food' Sam would order and try to persuade Dean to order.

When the waitress comes by to take their order, Dean sticks to his usual bacon-cheeseburger with fries. After a long debate between chicken fingers and a chili-cheese dog, Ben decides on chicken with a chocolate shake and Lisa goes with a grilled chicken sandwich.

While they wait for their food, Dean stars out the window and watches the cars pass by. He's only half-listening to the conversation happening at the table, something about Ben's solar system science project that's due next week. The talk about space causes Dean's mind to drift to Heaven…

He wonders how Cas is doing. With the Apocalypse halted he contemplates what the angels how the angels are spending their free time…probably being dicks as usual. Thinking of Heaven of course leads his thoughts down to the Pit…where his baby brother is locked in a cage with two pissed off angels…who are probably playing Ping-Pong with Sammy's soul…

"Dean." Suddenly there's a hand waving in front of his face, yanking him out of the dark road his thoughts are heading down.

"Wha…?" His hand automatically goes for his gun as his eyes scan for the threat…but there is none.

"Food's here," Lisa says gesturing down at the plate that magically appeared in front of him.

Ben eagerly digs into his food, dipping tenders into BBQ sauce, crunching his fries, and slurping his shake. Although Lisa is less ravenous about it, she's also quick to dive in. Dean, on the other hand, picks his burger up and stares at it. Grease dips from the bun and splats onto the plate, forming an orange-brown puddle.

It's not the grease that makes the burger unappetizing…it's the memories associated with the drips. Each one reminds him of a different diner, in a different town, with a different hunt and the same Sammy.

Dean feels Lisa's gaze boring a hole through his forehead, so he takes a massive bite. It's juicy and delicious and he can hear Sam's voice ringing through his brain…'Dude, manners.' He's able to choke down half his burger before the grease puddle of memories overwhelms him and he pushes his plate away.

Lisa observes as Dean slides his plate away. She inwardly sighs. When she decided they'd eat out tonight, she opted fro the diner over the little Italian place she loves. First of all, Ben has been nagging her for the last about milkshakes. And secondly, she hoped the familiar diner atmosphere would entice Dean to eat.

She's not saying that Dean doesn't eat. He just doesn't eat enough. Halfway through a meal, no matter what he's eating, Deal will just stop as if the simple act of eating is traumatizing. Lisa desires to coax him into taking a few more bites, but as usual she stays silent, not wanting to push him farther away from her than she already is.

On the way home, Ben rocks to the rest of his AC/DC CD. His leg bounces up and down while he plays air guitar and sings along. Her son knows Dean is a classic rock fan. She believes this is Ben's attempt at lightening Dean's dark mood to draw him out of the walls he's fortified around himself.

Lisa steals glances at Dean as she drives. They are brief split-second studies, but they are enough. He's constantly shifting in his seat, fingers drumming on his thigh. She sees the tension in his hunched up form and she doesn't need to see his face to know its pale tinge makes the dark bruises under his eyes stand out.

As soon as they're through the front door, Ben rushes up the stairs. When Lisa hears the shower going, she knows she won't be seeing her son until tomorrow morning.

When Lisa enters the living room, Dean rigidly sits on the edge of the couch cushion running a hand down his face. Even from where she stands at the other end of the room, she sees the weariness emanating off of him.

She coughs to make her presence known as she fully walks into the room. Lisa sits down next to him, ensuring there is adequate space between them.

"Hey," Lisa says as she lightly rubs the back of his shoulder. His muscles tense under her fingers, but she doesn't remove her hand. "Why don't we hit the rack early tonight?"

She's unprepared for what happens next.

He violently flinches away and squashes himself between the back and the arm of the couch.

Lisa snaps her body towards him. "Dean?" She can't keep the panic from leaking into her voice.

His body freezes, muscles taut and strained, as he becomes a captive of his own memories. His whole body shakes as tremors rip through him. His skin is clammy, he's gasping.

Lisa reaches out to him, but he scrambles away, squeezing his as shuts as he mumbles, "Nononononono…"

Lisa stumbles off the couch and backs away with her hands held out in the universal 'I mean no harm' gesture. She watches his pulse throb against his pale skin as sweat trickles down his face soaking into his black t-shirt. He pulls his knees up to his chest and wraps his arms around himself. He slowly rocks back and forth as he mumbles to himself.

"Nottherenotthere…safesafe…go'ou'ree'…no'ains…I'an'ove…'m'ot'ere…"

The only phrases she is able to decipher from the litany he utters are: "not there" and "safe". Lisa gazes on helplessly as Dean breaks down. But, she can't just stand there and do nothing. So, she lets her maternal instincts take over. She settles herself back down on the cushion and scoots a couple inches closer to him. She places her hand on his knee.

"It's okay Dean," Lisa murmurs. "You're not there anymore. Everything's okay, you're safe Dean." She stretches her hand up and runs her fingers through his sweat-slicked hair.

The contact jolts Dean out of his own mind. He surges off the couch and out the front door. At first, Lisa is too shocked and terrified to follow. She gives him a few minutes before she cautiously heads outside. She finds him sprawled on his back in the dew-coated grass, staring up at the stars, and gasping for air.

"Dean?" Lisa asks tentatively.

"'m okay."

She knows that's far from the truth. But, she lets it slide for his sake she can pretend it's okay.

"Just too hot there." He says, mostly to himself.

"Too hot where Dean?" Lisa regrets asking the question the second it passes her lips. She's definitely not prepared for the answer.

"Hell."

So…what do you guys think? You psyched for the next chapter? Have any theories or ideas? Review and let me know, I'd love to hear from you. Have a fantastic day everyone :)