Chapter 4
Months passed, and things slowly got back to normal. I started playing video games with Uncle Emmett and Uncle Jasper, cracking jokes with them, baking with Esme, going shopping with Aunt Alice and Aunt Rose, spending time with Jacob, and of course, playing the piano with Daddy. Over the years I had grown so much in my piano talent that I jumped from instrument to instrument—I could almost play as the entirety of the London Symphonic Orchestra. Still, my old favorite would be sitting on that piano bench, softly keying the notes for Beethoven's 5th.
Things started to look up, although my smile would falter when I thought about my unborn child. Jacob always told me that we could try again when I was ready, but I didn't want to go through another miscarriage. If this first pregnancy ended in bloodshed, who's to say that others won't follow suit? I was afraid to try again. I didn't want to go through that type of pain again.
xXx
In October, Jacob and the pack always had a bonfire down at First Beach. For as long as I can remember, the Fall Bonfire had always been my favorite. It was almost like Christmas—our families were together, sitting around the bonfire, eating, laughing, and just having a good time. I always got to spend time with Jacob, and his lap was always my favorite spot around the fire. He'd always try to get me to eat S'mores, although I never grew to their sugary taste.
As I grew older, I got to help participate in activities more. I helped Emily with the food, Embry with the fire pit, and kept an eye on the younger generation that were slowly coming in. Although I still didn't like the taste of S'mores, I indulged Jacob and made a few. The yearly bonfire was something that I looked forward to every year.
"Oh, man," Emily groaned, setting down her load of food. I carefully placed mine next to hers, careful not to let anything drop. To Jacob and Daddy's amusement, I had inherited some of my mother's human clumsiness.
"It's not easy keeping these boys feed," Emily huffed. I laughed.
"Definitely," I agreed.
"It's nice that you've grown up, now." Emily smirked. "Now I'm not the only one who has to keep them all fed!"
I rolled my eyes, snickering a little. We went back to arranging the food, something I though was pointless since it was going to be destroyed in three minutes. We had pretty much anything you could cook over a fire, cakes, pies, and anything else the boys would eat. She kept an eye on her six-year old son, Kevin, who was attempting to make a sand castle. Soon, everyone arrived, bringing more food and children in tow. Rachel's five-year old daughter Elizabeth made a bee-line for Kevin, eager to help him with the sand castle. Her three-year old sister, Madeline, followed behind. A heavily pregnant Rachel waddled from behind, trying to keep up with her young children. Kim followed behind Rachel, with her 10-month old son Robbie on her hip.
Kim and Rachel began talking about the wonders and evils of pregnancy, cute Native American names, and sonograms. I turned my attention to Elizabeth, who was showing off the contents of her backpack to a curious Kevin.
I was suddenly very busy concentrating on cutting the brownies, which got increasingly harder to do as my vision grew blurry with tears that were threating to spill over. Emily lightly placed a hand over my arm, and looked at me with concern. I wondered how long she'd been watching me. She raised her eyebrows in concern. I knew that she knew about the miscarriage, but I wasn't sure if I was ready to speak out loud about my concerns.
I showed her images of Rachel's round belly, and the kids playing in the sand. I showed her my fear next; constant miscarriages, and an empty, quiet house. But after I knew the possibility was there, I didn't want that. I wanted sticky floors, and children screaming. Birthday parties, messes, and stuffed animals everywhere, little green army men, and endless love.
"Oh, sweetheart," Emily murmured. "I promise you that your dream will come true. Remember that your family never dreamed you were possible."
"In the animal kingdom…" I sniffed quietly. "Most can't…"
"Just three months ago that was proved wrong," Emily argued. "Just because you have one miscarriage doesn't mean you will always have miscarriages. It just means that that one didn't form right." Emily placed her hand underneath my chin, and lifted my head so I was looking her in the eye.
"I promise you that it will happen."
Elizabeth's wailing interrupted us as she chased Kevin, who had a baby doll in his hands that obviously did not belong to him. The two ran down the length of the beach.
"Of course," Emily rolled her eyes. "We'll talk later." She gave my shoulder a quick squeeze, and jogged after her son.
I closed my eyes, taking deep breaths to try to calm myself. I heard Jacob and his brothers coming closer, which helped. When they arrived, I noticed they were wearing shirts, which was a suspicious change. I wondered if it had anything to do with why Alice was so persistent in making sure she dressed me. I was wearing black skinny jeans with a black spaghetti strapped tank-top, and a long-sleeved white 'worn-in' sweater. Regardless of what they were wearing, seeing Jacob made everything seem right with the world.
"What's the occasion?" I shouted as they reached the edge.
"Is there a need for one?" Embry called back. "We can be classy if we want."
I laughed. "Sure. That explains why I'm always seeing you guys half-naked."
I rolled my eyes. I ran up to Jacob, impatient for him to reach me. His arms opened up, and I curled myself into him. He lifted me, and spun around before setting me back on the ground.
"How are you?" He asked, after giving me a chaste kiss.
"Better, now that you're here." I smiled.
"Good," Jacob laughed.
"So, what's the occasion?" I asked, as Jacob and I walked hand-in-hand to the clearing.
"No occasion," he insisted. "Alice just insisted that shirts might be a nice change."
I rolled my eyes again. "Whatever. Don't tell me. That's fine too."
"You just can't handle surprises, can you?" Jacob smirked.
"Coming from my family, it's pretty easy to understand why I don't like surprises."
Jacob nodded in agreement. "Alright. Fair."
"So are you going to tell me?"
"No." Jacob stated. "You'll find out soon enough."
I shook my head with a smirk. "Whatever. Let's just go join everyone before the food's all gone."
Jacob and I joined back with the larger group, and the bonfire followed suit. I hadn't been particularly hungry for human food, so I sat back as Jacob and everyone devoured it. Near the end of the night, after the food was gone and the Moms chased their marshmellowed children with wet cloths, Billy and Carlisle started telling Quileute and vampire legends. Sam joined in, as well as Paul and Daddy. As the fire began to die down, and the children began to fade, Jacob, too, stood and told one more legend. As he began, I felt the cool skin of my parents next to me, and found them at either side. I heard Jacob's heart accelerate, and was surprised to discover my own doing the same.
"This legend's still a bit of a mystery," Jacob started, "as we don't know what causes it to happen. We're not really sure why we imprint, but some of us are lucky enough to experience what it feels like." He paused, looking around the circle.
"What we do know is that imprinting is how we find our soul mate. It's the force that draws us to the person that we are going to be with for the rest of our lives. Forever," he looked straight at me. He began to sweat—no pun intended—like a dog.
"When you find her, your life becomes complete. Suddenly you don't know how you survived before. You didn't know something was missing until you meet her. You can't remember what your life was like before—other than the fact that it was empty. You don't know what life was about before. Ness, I may not be sure about what life was before I met you, but I'm sure that I don't want to find out what it's like to be without you."
Jake started slowly walking towards me, his hand in his pocket, digging for something. I think I knew what it was. Suddenly, I forgot how to breathe, as he got down on one knee and pulled a small box from his pocket.
"With your parents' blessing, Renesmee Carlie Cullen, I ask if you would take my hand in marriage. Renesmee, will you be my wife?"
My hand covered my mouth, trying to contain the sobs that wanted to escape. Tears streamed down my face as I looked down at him. He had flipped open the box to reveal a small, beautiful diamond ring that shone like the skin of my family.
"This…this is why you wore shirts, isn't it?" I blubbered, unsure of how to speak.
"Ness, you're killing me," he smiled, pleading. "I'll answer yours if you answer mine. Will you marry me?"
"Of course I will," I cried. "Yes, Jacob, I'll marry you." There was a chorus of joyful cheers and applause, as Jacob and I stood. With shaky hands, he slid the engagement ring on the ring finger of my left hand.
"Yes, this is why we wore shirts," he laughed.
"I love you," I sniffed.
"More than you'll ever know." Jacob replied.
When I managed to pull my attention away from Jacob, I saw the party that suddenly burst. Jacob's brothers were dancing around the fire, every human female crying. My parents, still sitting where I had left them, were sitting silently, holding each other. Although they couldn't cry, they looked like they were about to.
"Oh, Renesmee," In a motion so fast it would have frightened someone not used to it, my mother stood and enveloped me in a hug.
"Oh, my baby, I'm so happy for you," she tearlessly sobbed, stroking my hair. Daddy shook his head at Mom, looking like he was trying hard not to cry. She gave him a turn, and he held me tight.
"I'm so proud of you," he whispered, "and I know that you and Jacob will be very happy together."
"Thanks, Daddy," I sniffed. I rested my head in the crook of his neck. Out of the corner of my eye I watched the celebration. Jacob's brothers, as well as Uncle Emmett, slapped Jacob on the back, congratulating him. The Moms danced with their children, who were unsure of the celebration, but were excited nonetheless.
I was still trying to wrap my head around the fact that Jacob and I were engaged, when Uncle Emmett grabbed hold of me and threw several feet in the air.
"Congrats, sweetie." He laughed, and kissed my cheek when I landed. Aunt Rose gestured to my left hand expectantly, and I proudly showed off my new ring.
"Very nice," she smiled. "We're all so happy for you, sweetheart."
Aunt Alice skipped over, dragging Uncle Jasper behind her. She began to make little inchoherable squeals of excitement.
"How long have you known?" I smirked
"As long as Jacob has," she replied. "You're letting me plan it, right?"
"Of course."
Aunt Alice squealed in delight. "Good, because I've been planning it since you were born."
I rolled my eyes. What else was I supposed to expect from her?
"I'll see you bright and early tomorrow morning, missy." She demanded. "No sleeping in for you!"
Uncle Jasper began to drag her towards home, as she began muttering about wedding details. As everyone had their turn hugging me and giving their congrats, I noticed Mom and Jacob standing still with their arms wrapped around each other. In a whisper so quiet I don't think it was meant for anyone else to hear, Mom said to him,
"See? I knew this would happen. You have to trust me."