EPILOGUE
Hey guys so sorry about such a long break but I just started going back to school and we all know what that means; STUDYING, cry me a river! Ultimately I could blame it on a lot of things but instead I'll spare you the boring excuses and let you read. This chapter is to the song The Scientist by Coldplay. I recommend listening to the song while you read using this link ' watch/?v=RB-RcX5DS5A'. My apologies if the updates are few and far between but comment will surely help!
With love- E.J.A
CHAPTER TWO; LET'S GO BACK TO THE START
OLIVIA'S POV
SVU precinct bunk room
August 4th, 2015
6:29 am
I woke up to a single beam of light falling on my eyes and burning them. I groggily rolled over and shuffled my way to the break room to pour myself some coffee. Alex was rinsing a mug in the sink.
"So how did you sleep?" she asked with a creepy smile.
"Um fine." I said pouring my coffee and grabbing a doughnut from a box.
"You left your coffee black." she said.
"As black as my soul." I said laughing and heading to my desk. Right as I sat down a Manila envelope was slapped onto my desk. I looked up. Captain was standing readily by my desk.
"I need theses filed by five." he said before he swiveled on his heels and walked away. I let my head fall in my hands.
"You okay Liv?" I heard someone ask. I slowly brought my head up.
"Yeah." I said locking eyes with El.
"Hey we got a new case; it's the Stevenson case on apartment 195 17th street." Fin announced. I spun around and pulled on my vest and grabbed my gun. Elliot put his hand on my shoulder.
"You sure you're okay to go?" he asked with a very concerned face.
"Yeah El I can handle myself." I said pushing past him and running out to the squad car. I went to open the driver's door when Elliot grabbed my wrist.
"No Liv I'm driving." he said. I didn't protest just to please him. We got in the car and sped to 17th street. When we pulled up the door was sitting wide open. Elliot took the lead even though it was out of formation and we swiftly made our way up the steps. The apartment was dark and the air was musky. We reached the door.
"NYPD open up!" I yelled. No response. The air was frozen. I lifted my foot and kicked the door. I did the same again and it didn't budge. Elliot backed me away and rammed it with his shoulder and it flew open.
"One more kick and I would have had it." I said running in. A man yanked me around by the neck.
"One more step and I shoot her!" he yelled to Elliot. Elliot froze.
"Put the gun down!" the man commanded. Elliot stayed still with his gun in the air. "Put the gun down!" he yelled pushing the gun on my temple. I felt droplets of spit land on my neck. Elliot lowered to a crouch and put the gun on the ground.
"Okay I'm putting the gun down. Let the woman go." Elliot said calmly. I surveyed the room. Tables were flipped over and empty pots were thrown around the room. I saw a foot in the corner behind a door. I locked eyes with Elliot and made him follow mine to the foot.
"What are you looking at?" the man asked.
"I noticed you had a picture of your family." Elliot said walking over to the table and picking up the picture frame. "It's a nice family. Young son and daughter, kinda look like twins, and a very beautiful wife." Elliot said. The man's grip loosened a little bit.
"Yeah that was us in Cancun a few summers ago." he said.
"You know I have five kids." Elliot said "and I would have done anything in the world for my kids; is that what this is about? Is it about your kids?" Elliot asked putting the picture back in its place. The man released his grip on me.
"Yes." he said letting the gun fall to the ground.
"What's your name?" Elliot asked.
"Jacob Camber." he said. I walked behind him and pushed him up against the wall.
"Well Jacob you're under arrest for assaulting an officer and resisting an officer. You have the right to an attorney and anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law." I said. Elliot pushed open the door and the man's daughter collapsed from her resting place on to the floor. "And much more." I said leading him out the door to the cops.
"Aye Fin help me get this girl out to the ambulance she still has a pulse!" I heard Elliot yell.
Mercy Hospital
August 4th, 2015
5:22 pm
"Why mommy?" echoed down the halls as a young girl asked her mom. I charged as quietly as I could down the hall. Smack. It shattered the air.
"NYPD drop your weapons!" I yelled as I rounded the corner. I dropped my gun. It was me. Sitting on the floor. My mother above me. My tattered pajamas stuck to my skin by sweat. My face bloody and my body was bruised. They didn't stop. It was like I was a shadow. I just didn't exist. It just kept going. Smack after smack after smack.
"What did I do mommy?" the young me asked.
"What did you do?" She asked her in rage "what did you do, you ruined my life." she said sinking to the ground against a wall while running a gun across his face.
"I'm sorry mommy." I pleaded. "I love you." I said crawling over to him. "
Get away!" I screamed to the young me. I heard a faint beeping and Elliot yelling my name. The beeping got louder. I ran at my mom and tried so hard to beat her off of her and ward her away but I couldn't do it. My punches didn't faze her. The beeping was louder.
I woke up. I heard Elliot yelling. "We need a nurse!" he yelled as my eyes and ears slowly adjusted. The beeping was as intense as ever. My vision was spotty and my hearing went in and out. "Liv, Liv stay with me Liv." I heard Elliot say as he cried. He grabbed my hand. The nurses and a doctor ran in.
"Her heart rates too high!" a nurse yelled.
"She's having heart palpitations. She has one hundred twenty beats a minute. It's extra systole!" another yelled.
"Okay give her two hundred milliliters of Delodin and call Dr. Aaron in cardiology for an echocardiogram." the doctor ordered. "Sir I'm sorry but I'm going to have to ask you to leave." I heard him say.
"No I'm not leaving Liv!" I heard Elliot yell. His hand was ripped away as they wheeled me down the hall. We got half way down and my chest started to tighten and I couldn't breathe.
"She's going into cardiac arrest. Nurse on the bed and supply oxygen." the doctor ordered. I felt like my chest was being driven on top of. They pushed me in the room and checked my ears for earrings and my stomach for a bellybutton ring and shoved me in the machine. I looked to the side and saw Elliot on the other side of the glass. He had his hands pressed to the window and he was looking down at the ground. He was the only one here for me. The only one.
"Olivia we need you to rest your head." a voice said over and intercom. I heard a loud buzzing noise. I let my head fall to the pillow. When it was over they pulled me out and let me sit up. I looked back at Elliot and the doctor was talking to him. He threw his hands up in the air and yelled something that was muffled by the walls. He walked in.
"Liv are you okay?" he asked panicked "how do you feel?"
I looked up at his big blue eyes. He rubbed his thumb across my forehead.
"I'm okay." I said quietly with all my strength "I told you I could handle myself." I said smiling. A single tear fell off his cheek and landed on my hand. I grabbed his hand. "I'll be out soon." I said.
"And I'll be here with you until you do leave." he said. They took me back to my room and Elliot held my hand the entire way there. When we got there he sat back down in the same seat he slept in last night.
"What happened?" I asked closing my eyes for a second.
"Well little Mrs. 'can handle herself' got in a fight on a call and has hit pretty hard in the chest." he said laughing.
"Hey it's not funny." I said letting a giggle escape myself. His hand was still interlocked in mine and we sat there and watched Jeopardy till the morning. I wasn't falling asleep anytime soon.
Elliot's car
August 18th, 2015
5:30am
The rain on the windshield changed color as all the different cars passed. Elliot and I finally got to go home and we started work again tomorrow. I knew going back to work at the same time as Elliot would raise suspicion on Alex, Casey, and Nick's part. Fin knew, maybe he told them. I mean we left together and came back together. But we were at a hospital it's not like we were off in Peru together even though that sounds nice. Elliot had spent countless hours with me at the hospital, mainly just sitting and talking, and he got some stuff out of me that I hadn't told anyone about. Some of the stuff I didn't even know I remembered. I looked over at Elliot. His eyes were heavy with worry and sleep. He didn't look like Elliot. He looked like a ghost of himself. He pulled over at my apartment. He got out and walk to my side of the car to open the door for me. He took me by my hand and we slowly made our way the steps. Elliot had already promised to make or buy our meals for the rest of the week so he set my stuff in my living room and headed to the kitchen. I sat down at the bar and observed him.
"So what are you making?" I asked.
"Chicken Florentine, mother's recipe." he said.
"This early?" I asked laughing. I looked down at the trash. "Is your mom's name Bernoulli?" I asked picking up the food bag.
"You're too good at your job." he said "Okay so maybe my mom's name is Linda and she didn't cook a day in her life but its close enough". We both busted out laughing.
"El do you remember when I said I'd give you a kidney?" I asked.
"Yeah why?" he asked as he scooped the Florentine into the bowls.
"It still counts." I said slowly pinching his ear. I know he hated that. He turned around so we were face to face. He grabbed my face and kissed me. Our lips locked in an unexplained chaos that created a spark that ignited something deep inside. I felt his body quake against mine. The pain that once shattered through my body was vaguely there. Our bodies stayed locked together like magnets as we fell to the couch. I sat on top of him as he kissed me. I tried to pull apart but the urge was too strong. He put his hands on the small of my back. He slowly ran it up my back and pulled me in. We were so close already but then we got closer which I didn't think was physically possible. He unlocked from my lips and kissed my jaw bone down to my neck and then to my collar bones. I put my hands on his chest and sat up.
"Elliot I can't do this." I said. I got off of a confused Elliot and fixed my cloths while walking into the kitchen. I heard him get up.
"Liv I'm sorry." he said walking in.
"El." I said grabbing his hands "its okay I just need time." He looked at me with soft blue eyes.
"I know Liv." he said running his thumb across my forehead.
"Let's eat." I said sitting down on the couch and turning on the news. Immediately reports of the female cop struck brutally in the chest comes up with all the wild accusations following. El walked into the kitchen, returning with two bowls, but he didn't sit down. He opened a small pantry and pulled out a bottle of wine and two glasses. He poured me some before sitting down.
"Let's raise our glasses and toast to health and partners." he said while tapping the glass with his fork. He was such a dork. We clinked glasses and sipped. We both started eating and I was intently studying the plate pattern when I realized Elliot was talking to me. I was looking at him talking but I wasn't processing what he was saying.
"I'm sorry what Elliot?" I asked when I saw his lips stop moving.
"I was saying there's a really good coffee place down the street and we should go in the morning on our way to work, are you okay Liv?" he asked.
"Uh yeah just really tired." I lied. I wasn't tired at all. I was thinking. Thinking about Elliot and the kiss and how in the moment I knew we were perfection. I just couldn't bring myself to be with him like that.
"You can go to bed and I'll clean up." Elliot said standing up.
"Okay." said as I painfully made my way to my room. I sat down on the bed. I had to take a shower. The only thing hospital soap is good for is drying out your skin. I grabbed what looked like a clean towel on the top of a laundry basket. I got in and turned the water so hot the room was automatically filled with steam and my skin burned. I love hot showers like this. I heard the door creek open.
"Liv I'm going to run out and pick up some stuff I'll be back in a bit!" Elliot yelled in.
"Okay." I said. I could take my time in the shower. I let the water wash over me and rinse away the past few days. It felt amazing.
ELLIOT'S POV
Olivia's apartment
August 18th, 2015
11:49 am
By the time I got back Liv was passed out in the bed. She was so peaceful. She had helped herself to one of my giant tee shirts instead of unpacking her bags and she looked like she was swimming in it. I put the milk and eggs that I bought in the fridge and went back to check on her before crashing on the couch. Liv stirred a little and rolled over to face me.
"Lay with me." she said groggily patting the bed before she closed her eyes again. Her face was relaxed and a few locks of her hair fell in her face. I brushed some out of her eyes. I never imagined I'd be lying in the same bed as my partner, well accept for when Dani was my partner, but she was easy. Olivia was different. She made me work to be closer to her. She knew I loved her and she toyed with me. She was crazy and so was her love. She'd told me countless times she was married to her work but in my mind that only meant her and I had been dating for twelve years, I mean I am part of her work. But that's was a dumb thought. Olivia saw me as detective Elliot Stabler who she would take a bullet for and confide in and that would always be it. I wanted more but I couldn't push her to feel that way. That would only make her distance herself. It would just take time. I looked up.
She opened her eyes a bit then scooted towards me and nuzzled her face in my chest while wrapping her arms around me. Not as long as I had thought. I put my arms around her and slowly drifted off to sleep.
Olivia's room
August 19th, 2015
5:00am
BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP
The alarm shattered the air. I rolled over and looked at the bright blue numbers that pierced my eyes. It was five. We had to get up. I rolled back over after silencing the alarms screams.
"Liv we gotta get up." I said lightly running my thumb across her forehead.
"Okay-okay I'm up. Leave the room so I can get dressed." she said sitting up abruptly and grabbing her bag.
"Okay." I said grabbing some pants and a shirt out of my closet. I turned around to leave and Liv was pulling off her shirt.
"Whoa Liv just hold up a second we have an hour." I said covering my eyes with my shirt.
"Come on El it's not like you've never seen a woman I mean you have five kids!" she shouted.
"Okay I mean if you're okay with it." I said putting down the shirt just as she pulled a V-neck sweater over her head.
"Okay listen you cannot see me like this so out." she said pushing me out the door.
"Okay okay I'm going." I said walking out the door. A few minutes later she came sprinting out of the room while pulling her hair up.
"Let's roll." she said.
"Hey wait jacket. It's pouring." I said while handing her the jacket she had flung on a chair in the living room when we first got here. She was excited to go back to work. She hopped in the passenger's seat of my squad car and was almost bouncing up and down.
"So what's this coffee place called?" she asked after calming down a little. She brushed the water off her face and bangs.
"Um it's a place my friend owns called Coffee Palace." I said. The rain ripped off the car with the wind of the August thunder storm that tore through New York.
"Who?" she asked after a minute.
"Just an uh old friend of mine." I said. I couldn't tell her it was my uncle. She'd ask how I knew him and there'd be some major back story I didn't want to explain. We pulled up to the curb and parked. I looked over at Olivia.
"Ready?" I asked.
"Ready." Olivia said cutting her eyes and opening the door. We bolted in. I flipped off my hood and looked up.
"Look at little El all grown up." my uncle shouted as we walked in. Olivia looked over at me with a raised eyebrow.
"Little El?" she said smirking.
"And who's your gorgeous date?" my uncle asked. Oh God.
"Oh thank you. Hello my name is Olivia Benson I'm Elliot's partner." Olivia said extending her hand.
"Wow she's really proper. She doesn't even say girlfriend." my uncle said shaking her hand.
"Oh no not that kind of partner, I'm his partner at work." she said blushing.
"Oh I'm sorry, and I never introduced myself. I'm Elliot's uncle David." my uncle said releasing Olivia's hand.
"Uncle?" Olivia questioned. She turned to me. "I though you said it was just a friend?" Olivia asked me.
"Yeah well I didn't want you to uh freak that I had any family I knew." I explained. She looked at me quizzically. "Well we just need some coffee and to hit the road." I said turning to my uncle.
"Sure anything for little El and his partner. What kind of coffee would you like?" he asked.
"Um I'll take Peruvian with light half and half and she'll have Colombian straight." I said answering for Olivia.
"Ahh you see that Olivia. A man who knows your coffee type is a keeper." my uncle said as he made our coffees.
"Oh I see." Olivia said turning to me "maybe he is." she said as she took our coffee. She pulled out a ten and put it on the counter.
"Oh no I wouldn't ask little El or any of his friends to pay. It's on the house." my uncle said pushing the dollar back to her.
"Oh well thank you." Liv said taking the dollar and jamming it back in her pocket.
"We better go." I said. We turned to walk back into the pouring sheets of rain.
"You guys come back any time." my uncle called after us.
"Thanks uncle D." I called back before walking out. The rain pounded on my hood as I ran to the car to open the door for Liv. She jumped in and I ran around. We'd be late for work if I didn't step on it and Captain would chew me out. I got in and the steam of the coffee had already made the car fog up. Olivia carefully sipped her scorching hot coffee as we pulled in. We walked in and the first voice I heard was Casey's.
"El, Liv!" she yelled. Everyone stopped and looked up.
"Hey it's Benson and Stabler!" Captain yelled. Everyone gathered around the door.
"Hey hey everybody can we all say our hellos at Liv's desk. She needs to sit." I said parting the way for Liv to walk. We walked over and I helped her slowly sit.
"I shouldn't have run earlier." she said sitting down a bit winded.
"Is your chest tight?" I asked squatting down in front of her and resting my hands on her thighs.
"No no I'm good just need to sit." she said resting her hands on mine. I picked up her coffee off the floor and set it on the desk. She grabbed it and shakily sipped.
"Okay I understand. Here take my hand and I'll walk you to the crib." I said helping her stand up. I walked her slowly to the crib and laid her down.
"El, stay with me, I know Cap won't send us out so just stay with me." she said grabbing my hand.
"Okay okay I'll stay." I said. Olivia sat up and I sat behind her. She laid back and rested her head on my chest and shut her eyes. I started to stroke her hair until I heard her quietly snoring and felt her chest purr as she did. The steady rise and fall slowly lulled me to sleep so I wrapped my arms around her and drifted.
OLIVIA'S POV
SVU precinct bunk room
August 19th, 2015
7:30 am
I woke up. I couldn't move. Elliot's arms were wrapped around me and he was asleep. I stopped and looked at his tattoo. I traced it with my finger till he stirred.
"El hey El." I said moving his arms from around me.
"Hey Liv are you okay?" he said sitting up and smiling.
"Yeah yeah I'm fine but it's." I clicked my phone screen on "seven thirty in the morning." I said getting up. I picked up my bag and then my knees felt weak.
"El I um need to get home and take an uh shower and stuff." I said leaning against the wall.
"I'll drive you home." he said pulling on his jacket and taking my hand. "Lean against me until you feel stable." he said putting his arm around me.
"Oh okay." I said leaning in him. He carefully led me out crib and to his squad car.
"Hey hey sit carefully." Elliot said putting his hand above my head so I wouldn't hit it.
"El I'm fine." I said. I rested my head on the cold window.
"Liv are you sure you're okay?" he asked putting his hand on my shoulder.
"Yeah I'm sure. Just need a shower and stuff." I said shrugging his concern off. He pulled out. The storm had stripped the leaves off the trees and they flung up around the squad car and danced in the upward twirling air like tiny tornados on the road. I looked over at Elliot who had his eyes glued to the road. He pulled over to the curb in front of my apartment.
"Liv are you sure you're okay to be by yourself?" he asked putting his hand on my shoulder and giving me big doe eyes.
"Yeah I'm sure could you just help me in." I asked opening the door.
"Yes of course." he said hopping up to help me like he always does. We got to the top of the steps and I turned to face Elliot.
"Thanks El." I said giving him a surprise hug that lasted what felt like an amazing forever. He was simply going to work and coming back to my apartment but I wanted him to stay so bad. But he needed work and they needed him. His dewy cheek was pressed to mine and we just sat there and held each other and swayed a little. He held my hand till we couldn't anymore as he walked away. I went inside and took a hot shower before passing out on my couch. My eyes felt heavy.
ELLIOT'S POV
Coffee Palace
August 19th, 2015
11:00 am
I walked into Coffee Palace.
"Hey uncle D." I said as I walked up to the counter.
"Hey lil El. Where's your girlfriend, I mean uh partner?" my uncle asked cocking a wiry eyebrow and grinning to show his perfect teeth.
"She's back at the house resting. I just dropped her back off." I explained.
"From what a date?" he asked laughing.
"No actually she fell asleep in my arms at work and wanted to go home." I said taking my coffee.
"Hey wait." he said putting another cup of coffee on the counter "take this for her. It's on the house." he said flashing a smile.
"Thanks. I'll tell her you sent it." I said leaving. I got in the car and drove to work watching everyone shuffle on the sidewalks to their jobs. I slammed on my breaks almost passing the parking lot. My coffee splashed foreword onto my radio but Liv's stayed put. I wiped it off and bounded up the front steps.
"Hey did Liv come back in?" I asked Finn knowing she was.
"Naww" he said looking confused. I ran to Liv's desk to drop off her coffee before it got cold but her desk was empty. I went to Caps office.
"Hey Cap where Liv is?" I asked almost out of breath.
"She's not in yet?" he asked.
"Oh God." I said under my breath.
"Okay you go check her house I'll call her cell maybe she's just sick and didn't call in." he said. That's the last I heard as I ran out the door. I skidded to a stop in front of her house and sprinted up the steps. I hit the doorbell a few times with my fist before remembering I had her spare key in case she ever lost hers and since I was staying with her. I pulled out my key and unlocked the door as quick as I could. I ran up the steps and banged on her door.
"Liv, Liv!" I yelled while I continued to pound. She didn't answer. I pulled out my keys again. I couldn't let her sit in there any longer if she was hurt. "Liv!" I yelled drawing my gun as I ran in. I made my way into her living room and I saw her hand dangling off the end of the couch.
"Olivia are you okay?" I said running to her. She sat up groggily.
"Yeah I'm fine what time it is?" she asked letting her head roll.
"Dammit Liv it's eleven. You said you were coming back in at ten. You drove me and Captain on a wild goose chase." I said throwing my hands up in the air.
"I-I'm sorry I didn't hear my phone and I didn't set my alarm lets uh go." she said rambling and grabbing her stuff.
"Liv I think you should take another day off." I said grabbing her arm.
"Get off me. No I'm going to work and you're driving me." she said jerking her arm away and continuing to walk out the door. I got in the car. She was staring straight forward.
"Are you going to drive or what?" she asked harshly.
"Or what Olivia. I don't think you're in any condition to work." I advised.
"That's not an opinion for you to have. Captain cleared me. Now drive." she commanded.
"Captain cleared you for desk work okay!" I shouted.
"Hey just let me remind you that you came back to on field duty after you got shot on that case with the monkey and all that happened with me was a little slap around with some men. Now please just drive!" she pleaded on the verge of tears. Her eyes were foggy and masked with despair. I wasn't make up for this one tonight.
"Okay okay let's just go." I said stepping on the gas. Olivia didn't take her eyes off the road.
OLIVIA'S POV
Elliot's car
August 19th, 2015
11:12 am
I can't believe him. I stood up for him when Cap told him he had a week's leave when he was shot, I cannot believe him. I sat and stared at the trees that flew by like blurs. Elliot put his hand on my shoulder and I flinched. Visions of prison flashed though my head.
"Are you okay Liv?" Elliot asked softly.
"How many times are you going to ask me that Elliot I mean come on it's not like you really care?" I shouted.
"Liv you know I care. I care about you enough to lay with you late at night and bring you coffee and drive you home every day and stay with you! I mean hell Olivia I'd take a bullet for you!" he said slowing to a red light and putting his fingers against his temple.
"El I-I know that you know I do. I don't know what happened. I just snapped I thought about the cop and prison and I just, just snapped. I'm sorry." I said shocked at my own actions.
"Liv you know I wouldn't do anything to hurt you." he said slowly "I just wanna help you I mean your my Livy love, my one true partner." I pulled my shaky hands apart and put one on his thigh.
"I know El." I said. Maybe I just need to trust him. Midday sunshine shone through the window and into my eyes. I pulled down the visor and sunk in my seat. A few minutes later we rolled to a stop and parked the car.
"Liv were here." he said getting out and walking to my door. We got in and he helped me sit at my desk.
"Liv El we got a call." Captain said as soon as we sat down.