"To move on, I would need to understand, and for that, I am beginning to accept my fate. Celestia, I'm sorry if I was a bit too aggressive with you. We'll still be friends right?" Sayaka asked as she folded her hands gently together.
Ice and snow had taken over the gambler's heart even after her clarification with Junko. It was understandable right? Heartbreak is normal. Sacrifices were mandatory, yet, it didn't stop anyone from behaving the way they did. It was necessary to behave in such ways. Bottled emotions crashed and shattered glass, causing explosions and waves of despair at bombing rates.
Celestia had shed her tears. She had herself punch the wall, vent out to herself. Hell, she even avoided as much drama as necessary, lies were her thing after all. Everyone knew she was going through a rough time and questioned none of it. As for Kirigiri and Sayaka, well…that was a different story. The detective drowned herself in school work and reading, and the idol focused on her idol friends and song writing.
Each to their own. Everyone had their way of expressing despair. Their own way of venting. One night, Celestia had bitterly smiled to herself, her hand reaching forward as if to attempt to grab onto something unreachable. She was a fool for believing her luck would go that far. It was a lesson well learned. Love bit and clawed without mercy, but it also embraced and soothed. Sometimes, she wondered if she would be forgiven, but the twin-drilled girl knew that waiting for them to come to her is wishful thinking. After all, they always came to her. It was her time to come to them.
Celestia spent her winter in "hibernation" so to speak. Minding her own business and blending with the crowd. Not much to say. It became spring quite quickly and she had saw that she took a longer break than she had planned. Then again, a wound inflicted by two souls was devastating, let alone she inflicted a third one upon herself. The time was quite quick truth be told. Then again, she wasn't as normal as one would think anyway.
The snow had melted at the time, and the fresh scent of flowers had arrived. Spring represented new life, new beginnings even. The gambler enjoyed spring to a certain extent. It had its downfalls of course such as the gross insects that had come out from their hiding places. Needless to say, the warmth and scent of new life pleased her greatly.
Roses, lilacs, daisies and sunflowers. A few flowers Celestia could name from the top of her head. Though, the lilacs did sting a little bit, but only because it was out of pure admiration and love. Kirigiri reminded her of lilacs. In fact, her scent had a mix of lavender and lilacs which was extremely pleasant. The scarlet-eyed girl missed the lilac detective. Her touches, her voice, her words…her love.
Now wasn't the time to fall back into desire and pain. She can't rush into these things. Celestia needed to tread carefully and that is what she did. She had thought it was best to talk to Sayaka about her choices and situation. Seeing if she could crack the ice that formed a bitter end to their relationship. Cautiously, the twin-drilled gambler had rang the doorbell of the idol's home, waiting for a response.
It was a while and she had assumed the other was away, or even ignoring her. Celestia wasn't going to give up though. She was rather persistent on her certain goals. So she tried day after day. An idol was busy, it was understandable, and fortunately for her on a Saturday, she had caught the idol in her home. Sayaka wasn't too pleased to see her though, this she knew.
The look in those ocean blue eyes revealed bitterness and agony, but the forced smile from the idol was good enough to fool anyone. Though, being the 'Queen of Liars,' Celestia knew better. She was almost impossible to catch when she lied, but she was good at knowing when lies are thrown at her.
"Ah…Celes-san. What brings you here today?" Sayaka asked, her eyes averting from scarlet gaze.
"A visit…a necessary one too. We need to converse on certain things. Things that you and I know about."
A small hiss. "I'm…busy." A badly told lie.
Sayaka was beginning to step back, closing the door as she really didn't want this conversation to happen. Unfortunately for her, Celestia stuck her foot in, making the door remain open. There was an awkward silence before the gothic gambler spoke up. "Please."
The small plea made the blue idol sigh in defeat, opening the door to allow the other in. Not much was said as red heels were stripped from black stockings. Celestia had gently sat down onto the couch in the living room, as if she had attended a meeting of sorts. Sayaka sat beside her, reluctant of course, but she had no choice.
"What do you have to say?" A grim, quiet response came from the idol, her gaze downwards.
Celestia gazed at her from the corner of her eyes, sighing lightly. "I want to apologize to you for what I have done. You may never forgive me, but I truly am guilty of the sin I have done. Having both Kirigiri-san and you together was immoral."
Sayaka didn't move, nor say anything. The gambler continued to speak. "Hear me out when I say this. I love you. I truly do, but I have found that keeping you in the dark is not the best of actions…Kirigiri-san…I feel…more connected to and it would be unfair to drag you into a void that will hurt you more later on than now."
Ocean blue looked to the side, gently gazing at scarlet ones with sorrow. Celestia turned her head to the side to greet the gaze. Sayaka had opened her mouth to speak, but closed it shortly after. A moment had passed and the two never tore their eyes away from the other. The idol opened her mouth once again. "…it…doesn't stop me from hurting. Do you know how hurt I was? Did you know how devastated I was? I thought you didn't love me. I thought you were using me to get to Kirigiri-san! It's hard…it's hard to believe what you're saying now…I…I-"
A finger was placed on top of Sayaka's lips, a forced, bittersweet smile appeared on Celestia's lips. Her gaze and composure was gentle towards the idol and she could clearly see the tears that began to stream down Sayaka's cheeks. It was painful to watch someone so lively and full of bright light fall into a form of despair. "You…are my sunshine, Sayaka. It wounds me so to see tears stain your beautiful face. You will always have a place in my heart, but you deserve better than someone like I."
The first name referral from Celestia was a first and this had given the idol a reason to whimper and cry a bit harder. Not knowing what to do next, the gambler pulled Sayaka into a gentle embrace, gently running her pale hand through navy-blue locks of hair.
The idol had cried for several moments, clinging onto the other. There was an awkward silence after she had calmed down, shivering, clinging. Celestia understood and remained silent and unmoving until she felt the pressure around her body disappear. Sayaka wiped away her tears with one arm. "I'm sorry for crying." She said.
Celestia shook her head. "No need to be sorry. You have every right to behave the way you feel.
A small sigh. "I guess you're right. Though, it makes me feel a little better."
"I'm glad…"
Another silence. The sound of the ticking clock was heard. Scarlet gazed upon the machine. It wasn't too late thankfully. Celestia needed to fix this as soon as she can, but she was lost for words. What to do?
"Taeko." Sayaka had said. "Do you remember the day you first came here? The day I fell asleep on you?"
The gambler tensed up from the words. Of course she remembered it. She remembered how the idol had writhed in her sleep, a nightmare that had haunted her until she was conscious of said reality. A nod. "Of course."
Sayaka smiled bitterly. "You know I'm an esper. One who has a supernatural type of intuition..."
A nod. "Go on…"
"I had a dream where you were in it. Do you remember that dream?"
Another nod. "You told me you lost me, but you never went into detail…"
"…in that dream…Kirigiri-san and I…were in a deadly game of survival…Enoshima-san had taken you hostage, tied you up on a stake…we had to go make it to you…"
Celestia kept her eyes onto the idol, listening carefully. No wonder why the idol had squirmed and writhed while she was dreaming. If she for one experienced that, she would be unsettled as well.
"Kirigiri-san was crushed by a large block…I remember vividly the sound of bone crushing and the blood that leaked from underneath it…"
That itself made the gambler shudder completely. Celestia didn't like thinking about Kirigiri being hurt in any way, let alone something as cruel as that. "H-how…unsettling."
"I managed to keep going…I went up to get you and then…I saw blue and purple flames coming at you…they were consuming you alive and you were screaming and writhing…" a shaky breath. "At the end…Enoshima-san had sank her heel into my neck, breaking my neck and I met darkness…and that is when I woke up."
"…why…are you telling me this?"
"…because…dreams are weird things…sometimes they are future warnings and predictions…and I can see how it relates this what has happened between all three of us."
Celestia raised a brow. "Is that so?"
A nod. "The blue flame represents my desire…the purple is for Kirigiri's. We both wanted you and we hurt you a lot due to our selfishness…Kirigiri dying represents her giving in to despair and being…passive about the situation and maybe she's hurt the most…who knows right?" Sayaka forced out a giggle. "As for me…I am probably not meant to be with you, like you said before… and it was portrayed in a morbid way…"
To the gambler, dreams were things that were not worth looking into, but she respected the other for taking over supernatural means. In fact, Celestia believed in reincarnation in a sense. Did that count? Maybe. Regardless, she sighed, nodding. It made sense after all, and it was scary on how accurate it was. Then again, she was talking to an idol esper wasn't she?
Not much was said after, and thirty minutes had passed. Silence had its peace, but it was beginning to nag the gambler, but for the sake of amends, she waited. And waited. Though one could say she could hear the thick ice crack bit by bit and soon the waters would rise over it.
"To move on, I would need to understand, and for that, I am beginning to accept my fate. Celestia, I'm sorry if I was a bit too aggressive with you. We'll still be friends right?" Sayaka asked as she folded her hands gently together.
The sudden speech was enough to snap Celestia out of her thoughts. "Yes, of course we are." She replied back.
A genuine smile was received from what the gambler said. "I'm glad I've got to experience my days with you. Though, it's best you prepared yourself to confront Kirigiri-san…after all…she still loves you despite how hurt she is."
The memory of Kirigiri with lilac eyes filled with pain was enough to tug on the gambler's heartstrings. She had hoped she wasn't too late. Celestia finally found the answers to her problems and it would be rather troubling if the other had gotten over her.
"Celestia…it still hurts, to be away from you, but everything is much better like this…right? You're happy with your decisions…and I can't stop that, but surely one day I'll move on…"
A hand had ruffled dark blue locks of hair. "Getting over someone and moving on are two different things…I believe moving on will mean you may have a hidden flame for me, but you are able to love someone else with just as much force."
Sayaka shrugged lightly. "I guess so. But right now…it's best you visited Kirigiri-san. Or rest. Today was stressful for you, is it not?"
Celestia shook her head. "I am not busy, though it took some effort to confront you about this. I suppose I shall be going now. I hear your spring concert is coming up…I'll be sure to attend."
The idol giggled a little. "Very well. I'll be needing the time to fully recover as well…" Sayaka held both of the twin-drilled girl's hands into her own. "May…I have a hug? As a proper goodbye?"
A hand ran down the idol's cheek. Celestia felt that a hug wouldn't be enough. So she had leaned forward and pressed her lips onto Sayaka's who let out a small squeak before she felt herself being embraced by the gambler. The entire moment was quick, yet heartfelt. "I bid myself adieu, my delicate sunshine, for that is the farewell you had wished for, no?"
Sayaka smiled once again and nodded. Blue eyes had watched the gambler stand up and bow, watching her leave her house. The idol's heart had reached forth, wanting her to stay, but her mind had told it no. It will continue to hurt, that she knew of.
But it was for the best right? She was an idol, busy with her singing and job of giving everyone smiles. Besides…Celestia had found the one person who made her heart beat out of her chest, someone who wanted to be with no matter what. Surely the idol will find the one that will make her yearn and love as powerful as Celestia to Kirigiri.
"Heh…there's…no need to rush when it comes to love…even then…friendship is just as strong. I didn't lose her completely after all…"
As for Celestia, she had made her way down the streets, watching the butterflies fly past her, the flowers dancing with the slight breeze. The sunshine had gazed upon the gothic gambler and scarlet eyes looked upwards for a brief moment. Staring at the sun would damage her after all. "…the sunshine is warmer than usual. I suppose I am forgiven…just like what spring represents…it is indeed a new beginning for all of us."