The scene shifted. "Gotham City, twenty years from now," said Nygma's voice. "You and Harley have since reproduced, and are living with your twin teenage offspring, Arleen and Joker Junior."
"Now that's what J.J. should stand for," said Joker, nodding, as the scene changed to one of domestic bliss – his son sat typing away on a computer while his daughter did her homework in front of the TV.
"We'll be back after midnight, so don't wait up," Harley was saying as she packed a bag. "You kids have school tomorrow."
"When are we gonna be old enough to come on a mission with you and Dad?" asked Arleen, glancing up at her mother.
"When you're older," retorted Harley. "Your Daddy and me do dangerous stuff, y'know, and I couldn't bear it if you two got hurt because of us."
"Well, do you think we could bear it if you two got hurt?" asked Arleen.
"Well, we're adults, sweetie," said Harley, kissing her cheek. "We can take risks. You kids can't."
"Can we take risks when we turn eighteen?" asked J.J., looking up from his screen.
Harley thought. "When you turn twenty-one," she said.
"You know she's just gonna keep raising the age," said Arleen to her brother, rolling her eyes.
"I can't help being protective – you two are my babies, no matter how old you get," said Harley, kissing each of them. "You'll understand when you have kids of your own someday."
"Well, that's kinda impossible, Mom, unless you hurry up and tell us where babies come from," said J.J., with a wry smile. "Cause Leenie and me as two teenagers don't have a clue unless we get a stern, serious parental talk about that."
Arleen snorted in laughter, but Harley didn't seem to get the joke. "When you're a little older, baby," she said, kissing the top of her son's head.
She glanced at the clock. "Puddin'! You ready to go?"
"I sure am! Aw, this'll be a laugh riot!" chuckled a much older Joker, entering the room. "Old Carmine's never gonna know what hit him! We'll be in and outta that warehouse in an instant, having left him a little Joker toxin surprise for when he comes to collect his merchandise!"
"Ok, kiddies, see you in a bit," said Harley, kissing them both. "Get to bed by ten now."
"Yes, Mom," sighed J.J.
"We'll be back soon," said Joker as they headed out the door.
"Or will you?" said Riddler's voice, cutting in on the vision. "You see, you made a grave error in judgment, Joker. Your gangland rival was not as stupid as you thought, and was, in fact, waiting to ambush you in the warehouse. See for yourself."
The scene changed to one of rapid gunfire, as Joker and Harley raced through the warehouse, firing back at the people shooting at them. "Head for the roof!" shouted Joker at Harley over the noise. They raced up the stairs, dodging bullets, and slammed the door to the upper level. Joker shoved a box in front of the door, and then nodded upward to the skylight. "C'mon," he said, beginning to climb.
Harley followed him, climbing out onto the roof and looking around. Her eye was suddenly caught by a shadowy figure on the roof opposite, a shadowy figure with a gun…
Her brain processed it all in an instant, the gun, the red dot on Joker's head, and she reacted immediately. "Puddin', look out!" she shrieked, shoving him out of the way of the sniper's bullet. And the gunman fired, missing the Joker, but hitting Harley full in the chest instead.
She fell to the ground, gasping in shock and pain. It took Joker a moment to realize what had happened, and his first instinct was to whirl around and shoot the sniper in the face. Then he turned back to Harley, his mind reluctant to process what the pool of blood forming underneath her meant.
"Puddin'…" she gasped.
"Hey, no, don't talk," he whispered, kneeling down beside her and taking off his jacket, trying to seep up the blood. "Don't talk – just relax. We're gonna get you home, and get you patched up, and everything's gonna be fine, you'll see."
She managed a smile. "Not…this time, puddin'," she whispered.
"No," he said, firmly. "No, don't talk like that. It's just a little gunshot wound…I've given you worse than this…I…"
He trailed off as he pulled the jacket aside and actually looked at the gunshot wound. A slow, horrible realization overcame him, and for once in his life, he didn't know what to say or do.
"No," he repeated. "No, not like this. Harley, it's…it's not supposed to be like this."
"I…wish it wasn't, puddin'," she gasped. "I wish…I could live to see…the kiddies grow up. But you'll look after 'em, won't you, puddin'? Promise me you'll love them for both of us."
"Harley, I…no!" he shouted, suddenly angry. "No, you can't do this to me! I won't let you, you dumb blonde! I won't let you abandon me!"
She smiled sadly. "Tell the kiddies…I love them so much. Just like…I love you…so much," she whispered, raising a hand to touch his cheek. And then her hand dropped, her eyes shut, and she was gone.
Joker stared at the body in front of him. "No," he whispered. "No, no, no! Harley, wake up! Wake up, damn you! This isn't…this isn't funny!"
He shook her lifeless body. "Harley, c'mon! Harley! You…you can't…leave like this! Not before the joke's over, not before I've given the punchline…"
He grew suddenly furious. "Damn you, you little brat!" he shouted. "How could you do this to me?! You stupid, selfish little…you've ruined everything! You've ruined…"
He broke off, choking in rage. "You see what you've made me do, you stupid girl?" he hissed, wiping his eyes. "I'm so angry that…that tears are coming outta my eyes! Tears of rage, at you, you worthless brat! Dammit, if you were still alive, I'd teach you a lesson for making me this angry! I'd…I'd beat the crap outta you, you dumb little…"
He choked again. "Ruining my joke like that, you useless…waste of space…ruining my joke…" he whispered, tracing a smile onto her lips. "Nobody…nobody ruins the Joker's jokes, and nobody makes him so angry that he…he…sheds tears! How…dare you, you dumb blonde?! How dare you?!"
He lifted her body up in his arms. "I'm gonna get you home, and then we're gonna have a nice, long talk about this, won't we, Harley? And then…then we'll decide…what to do…how we're gonna…tell the kids and…and how we'll…deal with…your appalling comic timing! You're such a screw up, Harley! Even when you're dead…such a goddamn screw up!"
"I'm getting rage from me, but I'm not getting the inability to cope," snapped the real Joker. "Sure it's inconvenient she's dead, and I understand why I'm angry at her for copping out like that, but in the great scheme of things, her death isn't gonna make much difference to my life."
The scene changed to back to the Joker's home, where his children were sitting on a sofa watching TV. "You're back early," commented J.J., turning around as Joker entered and shut the door. "How did it go?"
Joker didn't respond, and J.J. frowned when he saw blood on his suit. "Where's Mom?" he asked. "She's got her work cut out for her, cleaning that!"
Joker took a deep breath. "Your Mom…didn't make it."
They both turned to stare at him, not comprehending what he had said. "What?" whispered Arleen.
"She didn't make it," repeated Joker. "She's dead."
They were silent, and then J.J. managed a strangled laugh. "Dad, you shouldn't joke about…something like that…"
He trailed off when he saw the seriousness in his father's face, his own smile falling to be replaced with a look of horror. "No," he gasped. "No, you're being serious, aren't you?"
"Oh God, Daddy, what happened?" sobbed Arleen.
"Why didn't you protect her?" whispered J.J., aghast.
"She…I…it's…it's complicated, all right?" demanded Joker.
"No, it's not all right!" roared J.J., suddenly furious. "Our mother is dead, and I think we're entitled to know how she died, and why the hell you couldn't save her! You said it would be laugh riot!"
"I thought it would be!" snapped Joker. "It was gonna be a nice and easy job…"
"You were wrong, weren't you?!" shouted J.J. "And your mistake cost our mother her life! How does it feel for the great Joker to be wrong, for once?! Was this a gag of yours?! Because I don't see anyone laughing!"
"Don't you shout at me!" hissed Joker. "I'm your goddamn father, and I deserve your goddam respect!"
"Why would I respect a man who dragged my mother recklessly into danger, and then couldn't even save her life?!" shouted J.J.
Arleen's sobs grew louder as the two men faced off. "Mommy trusted you so blindly," hissed J.J. "And now she's dead. I'm not going to make the same mistake, trusting a man who can't even protect those closest to him!"
"You'll do what I tell you to do!" growled Joker.
"Just like Mommy did?!" demanded J.J.
"Shut up, you little brat!" roared Joker, raising his fist.
"Daddy, J.J., no, stop!" sobbed Arleen, rushing between them. "Stop! Is this what Mommy would have wanted – you fighting amongst yourselves?"
J.J. glared at Joker. "Mommy's dead," he muttered. "So I don't know what she would have wanted. She isn't here to tell me. And it's all his fault," he hissed, pointing at Joker. "And if he thinks I'm ever going to forgive him for that…then he really is crazy."
Without another word, J.J. turned and stormed off. Arleen burst into tears again, and her father tried to comfort her. "Leenie, c'mon, dry those eyes," he whispered. "I'm sorry about what happened but…there was nothing anyone could do."
"Oh, Daddy!" sobbed Arleen, embracing him fiercely. "God, why…how…"
She broke off sobbing, and at last raised her tear-stained face to him. "What are we going to do?"
"We'll…be fine," said Joker, calmly. "We'll cope. You'll see, sweetheart," he said, hugging her gently. "You'll see."