Title: Fix Me
Summary: Seeing Cloud's hurt for so long made him hurt, too.
Pairing: Cloud/Sephiroth
Warning: boy/boy, depression, everything...just, everything
Disclaimer: I don't own them, I just write about them getting screwed over for personal satisfaction.
Cloud thought a lot of the time. Cloud thought at times when he shouldn't think, and thought a lot of thoughts he shouldn't think. Cloud thought...
Sephiroth tasted like a lifetime of bad decisions and Winter travesty. If he were an alcohol, he would be the kind you drink alone on Christmas. The kind that distracts you from the fact that the holiday season is a cold, ugly time that other people are enjoying without you. That the snow that looked 'pure' the day before was an absolute atrocity today. Sephiroth smelled of the candles you might light after setting off a smoke alarm; all-encompassing and strong. Dark, sour cherry, attempting wholeheartedly to cover the mistakes of the past, but the smoke still lingered, and you would still be choking on them for a long, long time. Sephiroth felt like the very first dress a little kid would secretly try on in their mother's closet; soft, maybe made from silk and much too grown up for the little blond who tried his damnedest to braid his hair.
Cloud remembered that dress well. It was a strange blue thing that clung to his hips and threatened to fall off everywhere else. He hadn't cared at the time, though, he'd been so fascinated. It was shiny and dark blue with a ribbon around the waist that was much lighter, closer to the color of Sephiroth's hair. It was a thick ribbon, and if he pulled it tight, it gave the impression of slight curves. He never got caught, but he never did it again, either. Never really wanted to.
Wednesday's midday meal did find him thinking about it, though. The ravenet beside him was raving at Cissnei, and the blond attempted to pay attention, too, but he was rather distracted by the cadet sat on the bench on the hidden on other side of the glass. He was reading a book, biting his lip cruelly, and running his fingers through his hair, tugging at it occasionally. Cloud realized he was probably tugging at his hair when the book raised the intensity; the pages were turned to an area that would be around the final rising action and climax sections of the book. The blond wondered what he was reading, what kind of books he liked. He thought he might just die if it were a fantasy novel he might have already read, but hushed that thought; the upperclassman was probably more into action books. He felt his face heat up at pondering if the silveret were reading a romance novel and that pulling his hair might be some strange kink.
Yes, Cloud did think quite a bit. But then, his mind was his prison and what else was there to do?
Petty officer first class: Sephiroth hated Winter. It was always cold and dry and windy. His lips would be chapped and his hair would be tangled. Everyone would all be gathered in the school, a noisy, erratic background that distracted him from his book. Not even the library would be quiet. All that was happening, and Winter hadn't even started yet. He was more concerned he couldn't focus on his book in the inner courtyard. No, his mind was in too many places. On a redhead, on a blond, on everything and nothing
Genesis had been his only friend in the entire school; everyone thought he was a little strange and, true to teenage form, had not spared a second thought to inform him. Genesis had been expelled at the end of last semester, along with the teacher he'd been caught 'studying' with. Scientists are always missing at least a couple of screws -he should know, after living with one so long- but apparently Professor Hollander had been missing the one securing the 'don't get intimate with your students' section in his brain. The redhead was a great poet, and was rather quotable when he wasn't quoting something else. One phrase that always stuck with him for some reason had been 'Everything is about sex, other than sex itself. Sex is about exercising power.' He would tally up all of his best friend's promiscuity as the need to feel in control.
And then, there was Cloud... It was hard to tell exactly what his underclassman was. Communication was difficult, and the entire relationship seemed to be based off staring and the occasional strange charade match when notebooks weren't available, as the silveret understood almost no sign language. He knew Tifa was bad news, and on a very strange happening, discovered that the blond was better at math than he was. Much, much better. He also knew that besides his sapphires for eyes, his smile was also very stunning.
Trouble was, Cloud didn't smile much.
As the month progressed, Sephiroth found himself in the infirmary more and more, but not from getting hurt, but rather because that was where Cloud was. He was finding out more and more, learning about Cloud and, somehow, getting better at algebra along the way. The blond was napping behind the blinders when he strolled in, and the cadet's breath caught in his throat at the sight. His unruly spikes shimmered, spun gold in the dull colored room and his arms spread across his desk, reaching for something unknown that just happened to be in Sephiroth's direction. All of him seemed to glow, as if the sun had traveled all the way to the school just to worship Cloud Strife.
"He looks tired, huh?"
Sephiroth pretended to clear his throat at the sound of the nurse he'd seemingly forgotten about. She smirked knowingly, but decided not to say anything. "He works hard all year, but it seems he doesn't do anything else around this time. Augustus tried to lessen his workload, but Cloud just asks for more. Why don't you take him out to unwind sometime?"
"I don't-"
"Just think about it," Aeris pleaded. "I know it would mean a lot to him."
It was an uncomfortable feeling, whether or not he could hear it. To see someone he'd been taught his whole life was evil be playful, be scared... be human. It meant that evil couldn't be recognized, that evil could be anyone. Could be him, or Zack, or Sephiroth, and no one could tell otherwise. When Cloud thought of evil people, he wanted to see them screaming evil at people, wanted to see them promoting evil, wanted to see them doing evil. He didn't want to empathize with them. He didn't want to see their humanity. Because that would mean he could just as easily have been that person, that anyone around him could be that person. He didn't want to think about it...
But what else is there to do, trapped inside his own head?
A/N: Yes, the story will still be 3rd person limited, but it starts to shift between the two of them a little bit here and there.
A10tion: You have such a clever name, I enjoy your creativity. ^_^ I'm glad you like the story so far, I hope you stick with it.