Hi all - thinking the ever 2 weeks or so will be the update schedule, at least until I can get ahead of myself. I hate to have the delays in posting, but life has been insane. I hope you all enjoy this chapter. See ya next time.

OGCJM

My body felt clammy. I felt like I was suffocating. It seemed as if the room was closing in on me. Everyone was looking at me, knowing I was the girl. That girl. The truth would break out and everything I tried to keep well hidden would be released to everyone.

Alice nudged me, pulling me back to the current. Edward was still on stage, hopefully ignorant to my attendance at this concert. I needed to get out of there. If I thought I needed to leave when I was under the impression, in my mind, he had forgotten about me, then now, with the fact he remembered who I was, I definitely needed to run, far and fast.

"They're amazing. God, the way Jasper looks when he's deep in the music." Alice looked like she was about to drool, or pass out, or spread her legs for him.

Alice and Rose were both waving their hands, jumping and dancing with the music.

I sunk lower in my chair, desiring to not bring attention to myself, like I was sure Rose and Alice were.

Esme shrunk down next to me. "You don't look so well."

"I'm not feeling so well either." I looked at her with a sour expression. I needed air. Air that wasn't full of sweat and alcohol.

I wondered if either of my friends would notice if I snuck my way back outside.

As I sat there debating the best way to exit without anyone noticing, the music stopped.

Edward panted into the mic, trying to catch his breath. "The energy in here's amazing. This might be our best show to date. I want to thank you all for coming out and for Q103 for hosting this. This will be the closing song for the night. Where it doesn't have the same vibe as the rest of the music this evening, it's a song close to my heart. This will be the debut for it. Here's hoping I don't fuck it up. Thanks for coming out."

The cheers took over as Edward walked off stage for a moment. I thought to the music they had been playing all night, but not remembering much of it. The sound was beautiful, but the sound was Edward. His voice. His lips. His fingers on the guitar. He was all I remembered. Not what his voice said, or the words that came from his mouth, but the feel of the butterflies in my stomach that was created by his voice.

Edward pulled a stool onto the stage, taking a seat. His muscles contracted with each one of his movements. I was pretty sure he had more defined abs than I had ever seen before. He lowered the mic and situated himself on the seat, his pants riding lower on his hips.

"We've always tried to end our shows with something lighter. Something that pulls it all together. We hope you'll enjoy this."

While Edward was getting the stool, Emmett changed out his bass guitar for some other type of stringed instrument. I wouldn't lie – I had no idea when it came to music and the instruments played.

Edward and Emmett started strumming, with a light cord played by Carlisle on the keyboard. Jasper picked up on the drums. The beat was low and light, if only there to keep them in tempo.

My eyes focused on Edward, unable to remove them as he began to sing. His tongue covered his lips in a light sheen of moisture.

"Beautiful girl, you're a stranger to me. We met once but I can't seem to find a way to get you off my mind. You're all I dream of. All I think of. All I want. The thought alone scares me, but I can't help it. No, no, no, I can't. If I could see you again, I wouldn't leave without telling you."

Edward continued to lightly strum on the guitar. Esme tapped my arm, leaning in. "He wrote this about that girl. Told you, love struck sick puppy. She's all he's talked about since the show at Amplify last weekend."

I tried to ignore her. There had to be someone else, but I knew there wasn't. I was there, he left with me. There was no way there was anyone else.

My stomach flipped. I needed to run. "This can't be happening," I mumbled, but my words were too quiet to be heard over the music.

"Brown hair, smooth skin, deep breaths while you sleep…" Edward's words faded away. Alice dropped back to her seat, poking my ribs.

"Think he's talking about you?" she whispered. Alice had a bounce in her that wasn't going to stop anytime soon. Alice was determined to get him and me together and this was adding to her joy.

"Probably not. I think I'm going to be sick. I'm going to head out. Meet you at the car?" I started to stand, but Alice pulled me down to my seat.

"Oh no you're not. Put your head between your knees, doctor. You have to face him again. He wrote a song about you. That's the sweetest shit ever."

"Alice," I whined.

"Isabella," Alice whined back, mimicking me. "You will see him and you'll face whatever it is that's holding you back. You deserve to have some fun."

I dropped my head between my knees, because truth was, I was positive I would throw up if I went through with seeing Edward. Being face to face with him again, I was sure would be a massive recipe for disaster.

I spent years and years having fun. I didn't deserve the fun Alice thought I needed to have. I deserved my solitude.

I closed my eyes and rested my head on my right knee. The venue erupted in cheers as the show was over. There was still light tapping on the drums, but the guitar had faded away, as had Edward's voice.

The crowds of people slowly filtered out as I continued to hold the nausea at bay.

"All of our VIP attendants, hang tight. The band will be back out for the meet and greet in a few." The voice of the DJ echoed off the walls of the large room.

I kept my head down, not wanting to face what I knew I would have to face. I knew, no matter what I tried to do, there would be no getting out of this. Not anymore.

I lifted my head with care. Alice and Rose were beside me, there conversation buzzing with the excitement of meeting the guys in a few minutes.

"You ready, Bella?" Alice asked.

She gave me a look, the look she always gave me when she knew I wanted to back out of something she was dying to do. It was a look I used to use often when my parents told me no.

"I don't think I have a choice." Placing my elbows on my knees, I rested my head on my hands, looking at my two friends.

"Bella, if you really don't want to see him again, we can go, it's okay," Rose said, her voice full of concern.

"Honestly, we can go," Alice voiced. I knew deep down, where Rose probably meant it, Alice didn't.

Alice was dying to get together with Jasper, just as Rose was with Emmett, but Rose was a decent person through and through. Alice was me. Her motives were always ulterior in nature.

I bounced the idea around in my head; leaving and not seeing Edward again or biting the bullet and letting myself this one last glimpse of him.

As much as I wanted to see him, touch him, memorize him, I knew I needed to go. I knew if I gave into all of what I could be, I would end up falling back into a dark, deep hole. If I let myself have a moment with him, I would never have enough moments. I would never be satisfied with one single moment with him.

"Bella, you're looking better, and just in time! I was going to head back to the guys before they come out, want to join?" Esme asked, breaking through my mini mental breakdown. "Hi, I'm Esme, the keyboard player's lover." Esme held her hand out to Alice and Rose.

"So, you know the band?" Alice said, taking Esme's hand.

"Yep and I saw Bella here eying Eddie. Was thinking she could help break him out of his current love sick funk he's been in."

Alice and Rose laughed, loudly. "Pretty sure our Bella here is why he's all love sick," Alice said, snorting from her constant laughter.

"Oh?" Esme said, her eyebrow raised as she took me in.

I tried to sink lower into my chair, but if I got any lower, I would be on the floor.

"Yeah, they met at Club Amplify last week," Alice shared.

"Oh really?" She exaggerated the words. I looked at Esme and a glimmer of amusement played on her face. "Trust me, Bella?"

"I don't trust this situation."

"Don't worry, it'll be all good." Esme grabbed my arm, helping me to my feet. "Let's go, girls."

Knowing there was no turning back, I shook my head, letting my hair drape around my face. There would be no hiding from Edward, but at least I could feel secure to some degree in this situation. Maybe it would be enough to keep me on the right side of the line in my mind.

"I don't know why you don't want to see him, even though you gave me the feel of wanting him the whole time he was on stage. Edward's a good guy. Trust me."

Esme pulled me along, Rose and Alice not far behind us.

She pushed our way through the line of people, past the security for the band and into the back. "They're with me," she called over her shoulder so Alice and Rose could follow.

Esme knocked on the closed door, waiting while Alice and Rose caught up to us.

The door yanked open, with a tad bit of anger to it. Even with my head downcast, I knew it was Edward that stood before me. His pants still hung low on his hips. The tiny patch of hair below his belly button teased me. I wanted to reach out and touch him, let the hair tickle me before leading to the prize I was sure Edward had. My eyes raked over his abdomen and hips. He had faint tats on each of his hips I hadn't seen before. They looked to be lines that ran along the curve of his bones. I was sure if I gripped his hips, my hands would mold right along with the tats.

How I wanted to touch him.

"Hey, ass face, I brought a girl for you to meet," Esme snipped at him. Her soft tone was instantly gone with him.

Edward didn't give me a second look before walking into the room. Maybe Esme was wrong; maybe I wasn't the girl he had been talking about all week.

We walked in after him, his back to us. I took the moment to look at the muscles that ran up and down his back, as well as the tattoo which covered his entire back. It was a tribal that matched the sleeve tat on his left arm. His body was a vision I would soon not forget.

"I told you, Esme, I'm not interested in random chicks anymore."

"I know, you did tell me that. After meeting, what's her name again?"

Edward huffed down, still not looking at me or Esme as he plopped into his chair. He reached into his pants and pulled out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter.

"Oh yeah, that's right, you don't know her name. But, I'm pretty sure Bella here isn't some random, Edward." Her tone still held a bite to it, but not the same as when he opened the door.

As he raised his face to look at me, I dropped my face down. I looked at him through my lashes and even with the little bit of my face he could see, complete recognition covered his face.

"Bella you say?"

"Yeah, Bella."

Edward's tongue slightly ran over his lips and he lit his cigarette. "And what makes you think Bella here isn't a random?" His tone held far more ease than before.

I turned my head to look at Esme. I could see Rose and Alice behind us in my peripheral vision. Neither had moved past the doorway.

"Hey, I remember you," Jasper called from the corner. At that moment I wasn't sure if he was talking about me, or Alice, or both of us.

Finally giving in to the fact I was face to face with the man who had been on my mind all week, I lifted my head to look around; to completely take in what was around me.

Jasper had a glass of amber liquid in his hand as he made his way over to Alice.

Another door opened in the far corner and Carlisle walked in with Emmett.

Carlisle instantly went to Esme, pulling her from me and into his arms. Emmett dropped down next to Edward, looking at all of us.

"Who's the hottie?" Emmett asked, his eyes glossed over. He had the telltale look of being higher than a kite in his eyes. I knew I needed to get out of here.

"We haven't quite got to the pleasantries. I do know that brunette standing there in the middle of the room, looking a tad uncomfortable is Bella, but the rest, fuck if I know, fuck if I care." Edward took another drag off his cigarette, and in that moment, I wished I was what he was puffing on.