Title: TFLN ficlets
Author: timorous-scribe
Length: varies
Rating: mostly PG to T-ish
Summary: Various little ficlets using Texts From Last Night posts as prompts.
(316) You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing.
"Hey bro, sorry I couldn't make it out last night," Sam pins the phone between his jaw and his shoulder, unlocking the door of his apartment and trying not to drop the drink and bag of McDonald's in his other hand when he pushes it open with his foot. "I know you guys are only in town this week, but this kid from the team called me-" His keys fall to the floor when he gets them out of the lock, and the drink teeters from his attempt to fumble a grab at them. "Shit! Augh, ANYWAY, he called right when I was getting ready, and-"
"Dude, you should be sorry!" Puck's excitement vibrates in his voice when he cuts him off, not waiting for Sam's recount of his evening. "You missed out last night."
Sam sets down his food on the counter and turns to swipe the keys up from the floor, a pout forming without his intent.
"Yeah? What happened?"
"Dude. So the girls came out with us, too, right? And by the first couple drinks Brittany was already all up on Santana on the dance floor," Sam's pout curls up a little bit at that, until it's more of fond smile that's maybe only a little bittersweet.
"Yeah, she does that when she drinks..." he trails off and pulls his food out of the bag, carrying it with him over to the sofa.
"Yeah dude, but believe me when I tell you nobody in that bar was ready for when Quinn joined in." Puck's grin can be heard beaming full volume through the phone and Sam's eyebrows shoot up.
"Seriously? How drunk was she, man... that's not like her."
Puck scoffs in dismissal. "Only like a couple spritzers and a tequila shot off Santana's stomach." Sam swallows heavily at the mental picture and sinks further into the sofa cushions. It's a very confusing feeling to find the thought of two of his exes together so hot, and he's not sure which response to try to process first. "But you know how she is when she decides she's gonna do something, and I guess she decided it was them last night, hah!"
Puck sounds pleased with the whole scenario, but Sam's stomach twists with that same confused arousal and his eyebrows pinch together, memories of too many times in his relationships with both Brittany and Santana-he doesn't even want to think about what it means that he's dated and maybe even thought he was in love with all of the girls they're talking about right now-that they decided it was each other they were doing that night.
"Dude, you're cool with that? I thought you and Quinn were like, together or whatever."
"Sam, are you listening to me, bro?" Puck's voice is suddenly very serious. "Quinn... was all up on, and in the middle of, Brittany and Santana. Like, just, i just want you to stop and picture that for a sec, alright?" Sam just huffs. It definitely sounds like it was hot, and he won't lie and say he probably won't think about how hot it really was later on, but Puck makes it seem so... so creepy, and just gross.
"Yeah, I can't believe it." Sam sighs and shakes his head. Stupid Harrison and his stupid getting too drunk to function at a party. He wonders sometimes if he's not too young for the job he has, too close to the players' age to be a good coach. Twenty-three isn't nineteen, and he's learned a lot from Beiste over the last few years, but situations like last night where the guys call him instead of their folks or something… It's cool and all that they rely on him and feel like they can talk to him, but Sam isn't sure it's the best thing to be that approachable. He's pretty sure there's supposed to be a line in there somewhere.
"-are you even listening?" Puck's voice breaks through Sam's haze and he sputters.
"Yeah, dude... Quinn was dancing in the middle of Brittany and Santana, I heard you."
"See I knew you weren't listening. Fuck Sam, are you gay and didn't tell me? It's cool if you are, you know; you could tell me." Puck waits a bit like he's actually expecting a response, and Sam thinks how he wishes Puck were here so he could see Sam rolling his eyes. "I said they went full L-Word threeway making out and shit on the dancefloor, bro. Hands all groping each other… Even Kurt would've been staring if he saw it; I'm telling you this was a thing of God's beauty brought to earth. And it got even better after that!"
"Did they get naked or something? What got better?" The creep factor still hasn't escaped Sam's notice, but Puck's enthusiasm is persuasive and he's actually pretty involved in the story now. He can't believe he missed such an interesting night out with his old friends, especially now that he's hearing what happened.
"Nah dude, Brittany dragged Quinn to the bar's tiny ass bathroom-it's more like a fuckin' closet, really, it's so small-and then Santana went in after them, after she leaned in all scary hot and told me not to let anyone in 'til they came back out."
"Holy shit! Right there in the bar?" Sam's can't hide his surprise, Quinn hooked up with Brittany and Santana in a bar bathroom in Lima last night. And he missed it. What the hell was the universe?
"Yeah, and the whole fucking bar could hear them in there, dude. They weren't quiet." It almost sounds like Puck is proud of them, and Sam feels a sudden awareness of how much he really misses his friend.
"Geez, man. It sounds like I missed a crazy night."
"You mean crazy awesome, and it totally was. Unholy Trinity in action, I wish you'd been there!"
"So what happened when they came back out?"
"Oh, oh man! That was so perfect, people clapped!"
"Seriously?" Sam can't help a laugh at the thought.
"Fucking applauded. Santana, that bitch, she looked all smug and took a bow and shit, and Quinn was all red in the face, blushing like she wasn't frickin' grinding on Santana's thigh before they went off to the bathroom."
He laughs and Sam's confused by how affectionate it sounds, Puck is talking about his girlfriend or whatever they are to each other hooking up with two different someone elses in front of him. "And then Brittany just smiled and came back to the table like nothing, and everyone went back to their own business."
Sam shakes his head again. It shouldn't be surprising, those girls hooking up. It's not like it would be the first time even he knew of, and who knows how many times he didn't. He can't decide if he's really upset about missing it or not, even though the ache in his pants the longer he pictures it has a clear answer.
"Well good for them, I guess." Sam chuckles and sighs.