"I know what's wrong," Cyborg helped me inside.
"You do?" My heart stopped.
"Yea. Sure. Your leg and side are still bugging you."
"Of course," my pulse settled back into a steady beat. "Just my injuries."
"You should really get some rest you know," he opened the door and stepped inside.
"I will," my stomach howled. "After lunch."
I'm not even sure which pizza I ended up ordering. My mind was abuzz, the tiny radio in my ear kept flicking on and off as off the person on the other end was getting bored, or annoyed. Neither of those emotions was good.
My arm began to ache, only slightly at first then harder, like someone was pounding it.
Rubbing I found the source of my pain.
"Something wrong?" Robin looked up from his pizza.
My eyes flicked to him, then to Starfire who was downing her breadsticks with mint frosting. Stomach churning I stood.
"Fine," I mumbled, my head now feeling the aftershocks of my aching arm. "Um, bathroom." I stumbled down the spray cleaned hall and into the empty men's room. The radio in my ear buzzed to life.
"You had a golden opportunity," Slade's smooth tone was more terrifying than any yell. "Why didn't you take it?"
"I couldn't," I lied. "My injuries."
"Shouldn't be a problem. You can walk and move your arms." His fury was becoming less subtle. "You should be able to cut off Cyborg's head!" The last four words etched in my skull, filling it with pain.
"I'm sorry," my tone was melting, filling with tears. No. I wouldn't cry. I couldn't.
"You shouldn't have to be!" He screamed. "You have until tonight. I'll be monitoring. If I don't have their heads on the ground at my feet then you won't like the consequences!"
The buzz turned off, the aching in my arm having spread to every inch of my body.
"Grim," Robin stepped in just as I was able to stand upright and get my face back to neutral. "You alright?"
"Yea," I smiled back at him. "Just fine."
"Come on then," he sighed, exasperated. "Beast Boy is losing his mind. He thought you'd passed out."
"Silly BB," I followed the Titan leader back to our table.
I tried to finish my pizza but I couldn't manage to keep my mask off without feeling short of breath. It was like that way now. I only had a few minutes each time before my lungs began to ache.
Giving up on lunch I placed the air mask back on and pushed my pizza toward the middle of the table.
Receiving concerned glances from my team– former teammates I smiled.
"Ugh, I'm full," I pretended to laugh. "I used to be able to eat more. Maybe I am too thin."
The rest of the team smiled. Once content with lunch we returned to the tower where the others refused– point blank– to let me stay awake.
"You need to sleep!" Starfire's motherly glance was kind.
"You said yourself your leg was still botherin' you," Cyborg argued.
"Come on," Raven took my arm, not even bothering to protest my defiance. "You need another healing session. You decide if you want to sleep after that."
I followed her, looking to the ground. "Raven..." I tried.
"Shut up," she opened the door to my hospital bed. "And sit down. I can heal you if you move around."
"Yes ma'am," I sat down.
Raven's hands glowed, running up and down the cut on my leg.
I didn't try to suppress the sigh of relief that escaped me. "Thanks," I smiled. "That feels lots better."
"Hush," Raven shushed me but I did see her smile slightly. "Where's the one on your side? I don't want to miss."
Directing her to the bruised slice along my abdomen I felt the pounding fade. My eyes closed, involuntarily, loving the feeling of relief.
"Give me your arm," Raven's voice came back through.
"What do you mean?"
"I saw you rubbing it at lunch. Something's wrong with it."
"No," I pulled my arm away. "It just itched, I couldn't reach it through my uniform. It's gone now."
"Alright," she stood. "Good night."
"I thought you said I could decide whether I wanted to go to sleep," I argued.
"Yea, about that," she flipped off the light. "I lied."
I didn't sleep well, and after I made sure I was well enough to stand I ripped off the vent cover, crawling quietly down the shaft.
I seemed to wander forever, enjoying the silence.
After what felt like hours I heard voices down my right. I followed them to a side room. It was Cyborg's bed room.
The half robot was hooking several power cords into the wall talking with his leader.
"I don't get your point Rob," he was shaking his head. "He seems fine, tired, and hurt but fine."
"He was gone for three months Cyborg," Robin pointed out. "He hasn't even told us where he was."
"Come on Rob," Cyborg groaned. "He's a kid who's been through something horrible. We just need to wait. We've got to trust him."
"I don't do that well," Robin rubbed his head.
"I know buddy. Give him time. He'll tell us himself."
"Alright," the titans leader smiled. "I'll trust your judgment at least."
"Night Rob," Cyborg plugged the cord into his arm.
"Good night Cy."
I scooted back into the vent, my heart pounding.
What was I doing? I couldn't do this! They were so openly trusting. I couldn't do this.
"If I don't have their heads on the ground at my feet then you won't like the consequences!" Slade's anger exploded behind my eyes.
Would I really kill for my own safety?
"That's what you did before," I whispered to myself.
I killed Deathstroke to keep myself alive.
I sighed, gripping my scythe and burying my emotions into the numb void. I had a job.
I waited, still as a stone above Cyborg's room.
Only then did all moral thought vanish and I watched my body slink down into the room. The gentle inhaling and exhaling of metal lungs. Half robot or not he was alive.
A cruel grin came to my lips of its own accord.
He wouldn't be alive much longer.
My sore arms lifted my scythe from my belt. For the first time in a week it lengthened to it's full six feet, the blade at the top glistening in the slowly throbbing red light.
He was asleep, quiet and still.
A sound like thunder rattled me and I shot backward, hiding in the shadows.
Another, similar sound came afterward.
He was snoring.
My adrenaline, however wouldn't slow down.
Was I really going to take this human being's life? He was another living breathing soul. With one sharp movement I could end it. And he would move nor snore anymore.
I lifted my scythe and slowly ran it across it neck, the wires hissing under the blade.
"Wha...?"
There was no way I could vanish and pretend not to be there. My blade was halfway through his neck. I didn't see any blood however. Only mechanics had been severed.
With my cape missing I felt incomplete as I dashed backward and hid out of sight.
Cyborg's hand reached to the sparking wires.
"What?" He stood, his re charge cable falling to the ground.
With minimal movement hid fingers vanished to be replaced with a revving sonic cannon.
"Who's there?" He aimed toward every dark corner. "I have a weapon and I'm not afraid to use it."
He was only inches from my hiding place. The blue light would find me and I would be over. I had to get out of the room. Maybe I could pretend I knew nothing about this. I could still get away.
I crawled away, face hidden and managed to find the door button. With a quick jab I was in the hall, dashing toward the living room.
"Don't you dare run!" Cyborg shouted at the top of his lungs. "You won't get away that easy!"
This was it. Smaller and more agile as I was, he was bigger, faster.
"Cyborg..." Raven called tiredly.
"What's going on?" Beast Boy squeaked.
No, my heart sank, emotions returning to me. He couldn't see this. Garfield couldn't see what I'd become.
I got to the living room, diving over the side of the couch and crouching there like a child in a game of hide and seek. Except the consequences would be worse if the team found me.
I could hear the sonic cannon revving, Starfire's star bolts lighting up, the gentle growl of a large jungle cat.
"Come out," Robin snarled. "We know you're there."
It took no effort. Really I had no control. It just slipped out. The dark laughter that came so easily with joy. But this sound was higher, tainted with a horrible glee. I sounded like...
"Joker...?" Robin's throat tightened.
"So bad at guessing," I tutted, my vice never stopping from its cruel high pitch. "I thought you were the detective's sidekick."
"Who are you?" Starfire's voice was scared now. I knew her hand was on Robin's shoulder. And even the idea frustrated me.
Why is it that he– Robin the abandoned of Batman and sullen teen got to have his perfect friends and his perfect girlfriend. It wasn't fair.
What had I done to deserve being kicked to the dirt and enslaved to an insane man. This same man who wanted me to kill the only people who had been kind to me in such a long time.
I couldn't do it.
I couldn't pretend it wasn't me. They would shun me. Maybe it would be better that way. I tried to stand but my legs seemed frozen.
Flicking my gaze around I caught sight of a light, feathery black material sticking out of a small garbage can.
I managed to get there quietly and pull it out. No mess on it. With a quick movement the cape was clipped on my shoulders. As much as I disliked the restriction it felt right to wear it. I was Grim Reaper again, Master of death. I wasn't going to be a tiny scared child. But I wasn't going to be the bringer of death also. I would take whatever consequence that meant, whether my health or my life.
My legs straightened and the bright blue light of Cyborg's sonic cannon shone on me.
"I'm sorry," I spoke quickly and quietly.
"Grim...?" Beast Boy turned back to his human form. "What's going on? You've got to get over here someone tried to kill Cy!"
"I know," I smiled at him sadly.
Slade would catch me if I kept my sweet attitude up. I had to pretend. I had to conceal my true ambition.
"How?" Raven asked, her eyebrow raising.
"How to you think?" I grinned cruelly, lifting my scythe.
"Grim!" Robin brandished his staff.
"Rynir?" Starfire's hands flew to her mouth.
"Sorry," I tried to sound sincere under my deep chuckle. "You caught me."
"What are you doing?" Raven asked.
"Slade can be a very persuasive man."
"Slade?" Beast Boy gasped. My heart tore at his horror.
"Dude!" Cyborg shook his head. "That guy is bad news!"
I wanted to scream. "Don't you think I know that?"
But I couldn't make a sound, my voice would betray me, every word bringing me closer to death.
Instead I laughed, that same twisted evil laugh.
"Are you sure? He's brought me to a knowledge of something I never knew before," I ran a finger down my scythe blade.
"No," Robin seemed to come to a realization.
"I don't call myself master of death for nothing."
The hate and distrust solidified in them. They powered up.
"Aw," I tried to call out through my voice, make them understand. But they didn't listen. "Too bad. We have to fight."
"Shut up!" Beast Boy yelled and a tiger pounced.
I danced away gripping my grappling hook and throwing the end out the window.
"We'll play another time BB," I saluted and shot of, into the city.
"Not to fast!" Raven flew after me, her eyes alight.
"I agree with Raven!" Starfire came to the other side of me.
"Get away!" I yelled and pulled the line, making me faster.
'Raven!' I shouted with my mind. I know she didn't have Martian mind links but I knew she had some sort of empathy. 'Raven listen! It's not my fault! You've got to help me!'
"Argh!" She screamed and a grey fingered fist rammed into my jaw, flying into a concrete building I fell to the earth several feet below.
"What was that?" she leaned down to me, four eyes wide.
"Go ahead."
Raven paused, blinking back her own two eyes. "Why?"
She couldn't see weakness. So I grinned. "Why not? Let's see how hard you can hit."
Even Starfire became slightly concerned as Raven lifted me up by my shirt collar, her hands glowing with power.
I don't remember the entirety of the next moment. Her fist connected with my chest and I remember flying backward, crashing through a roof. Everything smelled like fish.
He she thrown me across the entire city? Or was I back at the close beach? I never found out.
Nothing mattered once I heard that dark voice growling.
"It's so nice to see you Grim Reaper," Slade hissed. Strong fingers lifted my shattered frame from the fish smelling floor. "We have things we must discuss."
My stomach sank.
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