Who in their right mind uses the word "expedition" to replace shopping? Teen royalty sure means something else to rich kids. Petra tried desperately to appeal to the new kid by asking awkward, motherly questions while Levi silently disapproved in his mind. "So how do you like Sina?" Eren weakly smiled and replied, "It's...cool. I'm thinking of joining the Titans." To his surprise, the Recons immediately protested. "That would be social suicide. Damn, you are so lucky you have us to guide you."

Being at the mall sort of reminded me of Maria. It was broken down, yet people kept on coming back to it and making a mess out of things. This was obviously another reason to why we moved here. Hanji's worried voice broke through Eren's mental monologue. "Oh my god, there's Mike!" "Where?" Petra hoisted Levi onto her shoulders and was met with a small slap to the head. The tiny devil seemed irritated but he was secretly glad for Petra's motherly sense. It made him want to agree with her constantly and slap her into tomorrow at the same time. "Hmm," Petra murmured. "He's with a dog." "Hanji, isn't that your dog?" Erwin piped up. "Wait." Levi hopped off Petra and pulled out his phone. "He can't be using your dog for the project. No. He cannot use you like that. He's such a liar. Give me your phone."

"Oh god," Hanji paced back and forth, handing her cell phone to the short teen. "You're not going to call him, are you?" Levi made a gesture to Petra, who lifted him up so he could smack the spectacle-wearing teen on the head. "Do you think I'm an idiot?" Eren had no idea what was going on, and even Erwin knew what was going on. That freaked him out. The tiny devil began to type in Mike's number. Eren continued to look puzzled until Petra mouthed no caller ID and a twisted look of realization formed on the junior's face. He watched as Mike slowly took out his phone and Levi began to use a cheerful accent to mask his identity. "Hi, this is Sina Hospital. We have your dog's rabies test, and I think there's something that you definitely have to see. It's urgent, sir." Mike dropped the startled dog and ran straight into the men's bathroom. Levi hung up and smirked. "I made someone panic and wash their hands. You, Jaeger, are a good luck charm." The Recons began to maniacally laugh (or was it a healthy snicker? I can't think straight when I'm freaked out) and Eren, feeling more confused than ever, smiled along with them.

They soon arrived at Hanji's house. Earlier, Eren had asked why they weren't going to Levi's, him being the leader and all. He stoically replied with "Teen royalty doesn't count outside school" and left it at that. The younger teen was about to step in when Erwin whispered, "Make sure you check out her greyhound's teeth. They're hard as knives." Hanji burst open the door. "I'm home, babies! Hi, Kylie." She gingerly waved to a hamster being devoured by a python (whose name seemed to be Milkshake, but it was hard to tell since the snake had bit off part of its own name tag.). Eren gaped at the scene.

Her house was gigantic.

And a zoo. It was also a zoo.

Animals, their food, and their toys were scattered everywhere. A penguin was wedged between the sofa while a butterfly lightly rested upon its beak. An ostrich had its head stuck in the ceiling and Auruo tried kicking it to make it move-only to get kicked backwards, biting his tongue in the process. Two horses trotted in a row to the kitchen and two tigers followed suit. Also, there were literally greyhounds EVERYWHERE. "Welcome to mi casa! Now we should probably go to my room before Clyde tries to run us over again."

Hanji's room was surprisingly cleaner, save for the fact that there were still dog treats on the ground. A rectangular mirror hung loosely by the side of the wall, and the drawer above it was locked. One of the greyhounds accompanied the frazzled girl in the room. "Okay, Eren. Just wanted to let you know that there are no rules in this house. Like, literally no rules at all. Why do you think Bean's allowed in here?" With that said, Eren peered down to see the greyhound for what it really was. It really was terrifying. "Bean"'s eyes had a maniacal gleam to it and it stunk of blood. Or maybe that was just Eren's imagination. Who knows? The kid gets angsty sometimes.

"God, my eyebrows are huge!" "At least you pull off huge hair, have you seen what I look like in humidity?" "Humidity's not a problem, but carrot hair is. Pretty sure this stuff attracts deer." "Heh. Everyone's talking about how much their hairstyles are off, but mine is literally off. But still, I can rock dipdye." "Shut it, shitty tongue. Hair is nothing compared to height." Wow, is this what rich kids think? I just thought there was fat and skinny, but apparently, there's a whole lot more. He momentarily stopped his inner monologue partly because it seemed like everyone expected him to do the same. "...I have really bad breath in the morning?"
An awkward silence ensued until Levi gave a little nod and Erwin gave a "gross".

A ripping sound...rippled through the silence. To Eren's horror, Bean had ripped through Hanji's pant sleeve and was gnawing on her exposed skin, creating another mark. He had enough of it once blood started to spill. Eren looked at the others' faces, hoping they would do something about it because a dog is literally eating its owner right now. Surprisingly, the rest of the Recons just seemed to look away with sheepish faces, except for Levi, who seemed to look disappointed. Noticing Eren's horrified expression, Hanji jumped in, trying to mask her pain (which she obviously felt, right?) with a smile. "D-don't worry, Eren! Bean's just...bean normal! Heh. Get it? Bean as in being...yeah. Really, don't worry! He's not like a regular greyhound. He's a cool greyhound. Cool greyhounds like flesh, right? Okay, bad choice of words, right. He won't eat any of your flesh, so it's okay! Just mine. Oh, bad choice of words again. Why don't you just...skedaddle out and let me handle it? Okay?"

What type of person lets themselves get torn apart by a greyhound, calls it normal, and asks me to "skedaddle out"? Eren stood his ground until he noticed the remaining Recons head out the room. The angsty (now for a reason) teen tried to protest, but he was stopped by Levi. "I'll take care of it. Just leave." With one last look at the door, Eren finally followed the others and left.

The next day, the Recons (and Eren) returned to Hanji's zoo. A noticeable amount of greyhounds were missing and Hanji was starting to wear shorter sleeves. A weight was lifted off of Eren's shoulders as he proceeded to sit on the stone-cold bed. "Oh my gosh, I remember this!" "Erwin, we just wrote in it today." Eren popped up, trying to see what the commotion was about. Luckily, he didn't need to leave the bed since the item of attraction was placed low so that Levi could see. When the junior squirmed his way into the crowd, he was met with a tiny smirk from Levi. "It's the burn book. See, we cut out pictures of juniors and seniors from the yearbook and write nasty things about them." Eren wasn't too sure about Levi's sanity, but when the rest of the Recons weren't throwing each other intimidated looks, he thought it might be okay.

"Rico Brzenska is a grotsky little bitch. Heh. Still true." The page flipped, as did Eren's emotions. "Nanaba is an unnamed, anorexic virgin. Still partially true." "Jean Kirstein. He made out with a horse." Eren spit out any water he was strangely holding in. Maybe this wasn't so bad after all. "Sasha Braus, binge-eating freak."
The Recons flipped a page and landed on a picture where a bald kid was grinning widely. "Who is that?" Erwin pondered. "I think it's that kid, Connie." This peaked Levi's attention and he looked deviously around the crowd. Eren thought this would be a good time to gain the leader's trust. "Yeah, Connie. He's almost too simpleminded to function." Levi burst out laughing, which was unusual for the tiny devil. "That's gold, Jaeger. Write that down." Oh no, maybe that was only okay when Sasha said it. Well, it's not like the book's going to go public, right?

AN: Okay, I'm extremely sorry for that angst bomb there. One thing led to another and...yeah, basically. I needed a "cool mom" filler and went with hungry greyhound instead. Another thing: WHY would I use greyhounds as titans? They're so cute~ *sobs* I guess it's going to be canon for now.
Also, Sasha and Connie both play Janis and Damian, so the roles will be played with. Until next time...*sobs*