Chapter Three

Bilbo awoke slowly. The campfire had long since gone out, its ash picking up slightly in the breeze, and the sky was a dim grey. From what she could tell, the company was still asleep and she longed to close her eyes and join them for another hour or two but she knew that if she moved she would wake them both up.

She was still tangled in their embrace but it had lessened during the night so that now she just had one of each of their arms draped over her waist. Kili looked more serious asleep than he ever seemed to be when he was awake. He was serene but his mouth wasn't set in the goofy grin she was so used to seeing.

Bilbo still wasn't sure what their motives were. After all, she was not sure if being pulled into bed between them was an entirely platonic move, but the entire company seemed to sleep in close groups, with the exception of Thorin. Thorin was as isolated from contact as always. She couldn't see him in his spot by the boulder anymore and as she began to sit up to see better Kili pulled her closer.

He seemed to still be in some sort of sleepy daze because he mumbled something and yawned then nuzzled the back of her neck. Bilbo felt a small smile grace her lips as he did so and looked over at Fili as Kili's breaths became deep with sleep again. Filis hair shone so delicately that she found herself curling a strand of it around her finger, for a while she forgetting where she was as a peaceful feeling flooded through her.

Then she felt it. She felt the press of something hard against her lower back and she realised that even if Kili himself wasn't awake, something else was. Her eyes widened and she let go of Filis hair, pulling herself away from both of the brothers.

"Where do you think you're going, little hobbit?" Kili whispered, his voice husky with the fog of sleep.

"Kili what are you doing?" She hissed. Of course she found him attractive but she was not about to do something so risky in broad daylight with a whole company of dwarves present.

He chose to ignore her question and pulled her back flush against his chest. She could practically hear him smirk as his hands began sliding up her sides. Attempting to disuade him she tried reminding him of the others. "Kili everyone will wake up, this isnt a good idea."

"Then lets be very," He pressed a kiss to the back of her neck, "very" a kiss to her jaw, "quiet." He kissed her shoulder.

As his hands began to wonder Bilbo panicked. She could not take another reprimand from Thorin nor allow Kili to continue with such actions when he had barely known her for more than two days. She elbowed him swiftly in the chest effectively winding him and rolled away onto Fili.

The blonde opened his eyes wearily as she scrambled off of him. "Whats going on?" He groaned.

He noticed his brother rubbing his stomach with a frown and sat up straighter. Taking in Bilbos appearance he noticed her shirt was askew and her hair was ruffled from some sort of movement, perhaps from rolling around in her sleep. He had noticed she seemed quite restless last night.

"I don't know what you are trying to do here boys, but let me make this clear, it is not happening." She tried to look intimidating but her stature made her anger seem quite comedic. "I have already embarrassed myself enough but I will not allow you to... to..."

"To pleasure you?" Kili offered, not at all phased.

Bilbo blushed. "I'm not here to entertain you- I mean it! I'm a part of this company and I deserve your respect."

The two brothers looked down suddenly, shame flooding their features like young boys caught misbehaving by a parent. Bilbo stuck her chin out in what she hoped was an imposing manner and continued. "Just because I enjoy sex does not mean you are allowed to use me as you see fit." If possible, their faces grew even redder and Kili looked as if he was biting back a laugh.

"You're impossible Kili!" She threw her hands into the air. "I give up."

A gravelly throat cleared behind her and she froze. Please don't let that be...

"Miss Baggins, I think it would be best if you rearranged your clothing and went to gather the ponies."

It was Thorin. This time it was Bilbos turn to go bright red. She didn't dare turn around and face his disaproving stare. It seemed that whenever Bilbo seemed to do anything remotely embarrassing, Thorin was there ready to add his severe judgement.

"Go." He demanded. His tone wasn't angry but commanding and Bilbo walked as fast as she could to get away from it.

...

They had been travelling for hours with the rain pouring relentlessly onto them. Bilbo had refused Kili and Fili's offer of their coats, choosing to remain soaking wet and angry. She had manouvered her pony to the back of the group prefering to stare at the back of Nori's head than walk with the two brothers.

"Here! Mr Gandalf! Can't you do anything about this rain?" Dori shouted over the noise of hooves hitting the ground.

"It's just raining master dwarf and it will continue to rain until the rain is done!" Called Gandalfs reply. "If you wish to change the weather of the world you should find yourself another wizard."

"Are there any?" Bilbo asked, ignoring the eyes of the brothers.

"What?"

"Other wizards."

Gandalf steered his horse towards the back so as to ride beside Bilbo. "There are five of us. The greatest of our order is Sauruman the White, then there are two blue wizards." He paused for a second." You know... I've quite forgotten their names..."

Bilbo pulled her vest tighter around her body. "And who is the fifth?"

"Well, that would be Radagast the Brown." Gandalf smiled fondly.

"Is he a great wizard or is he more like you?" Bilbo bit her tongue after she asked knowing how impolite she may have seemed.

"I think he's a great wizard!" Gandalf defended. "In his own way... He's a gentle soul who prefers the company of animals to others. He keeps a watchful eye over the vast forest lands to the east, and a good thing too! For always evil will look to find a foothold in this world."

Bilbo gulped, looking at the path stretched out ahead of them, suddenly feeling very out of place.

...

Few hours passed after that filled with grumbling dwarves and bickering between Gandalf and Thorin. Bilbo couldn't hear what was being said but as they turned on the path she noted the disgust on the dwarfs face.

The path thinned out and she could see a barn up ahead. Whilst the others cheered, happy to welcome the new found shelter, Bilbo felt a knot of dread form in her stomach. The barns roof was caved in and the surroundings bare.

Thorin was the first to climb down from his pony. "We'll camp here for the night." He stood looking out over the barn. "Fili, Kili, look after the ponies." He now looked at them sternly. "Make sure you stay with them."

Gandalf had wandered from the dwarves and stood close to the barn, his hands running over the rough stone of the walls. "A farmer and his family used to live here."

Bilbo felt that knot of dread once again.

Thorin, however, seemed oblivious to this as he ignored Gandalfs underlying warning. "Oin, Gloin, get a fire going."

Gandalf turned away from the barn abruptly, striding over to the leader of the dwarves. "I think it would be wiser to move on. We could make for-"

"I have told you already," Thorin interrupted through gritted teeth. "I will not go near that place."

"Why not?" The wizard seemed tired of this argument already. "The elves could help us! We could get food, rest, advice!"

Thorin's eyes were thunderous. "I do not need their advice."

Gandalf lowered his voice in an attempt to reason with him. "We have a map we cannot read. Lord Elrond could help us."

Bilbo watched as Thorin's fists clenched painfully. She had never seen him this infuriated. "Help." The word seemed like poison in his mouth. "A dragon attacks Erebor. What help came from the elves? Orcs plunder Moria. Desecrate our sacred holes. The elves looked on and did nothing." He pointed a finger accusingly at Gandalf. "You ask me to seek help from the very people that betrayed my grandfather. Betrayed my father."

"You are neither of them! I did not give you that map and key for you to hold onto the past!"

Thorin held his gaze, refusing to back down. "I did not know they were yours to keep."

Gandalf sighed and gripped his staff furiously, storming away.

"Everything alright?" Bilbo asked from where she stood beside Balin. "Gandalf, where are you going?"

The grey wizard quickened his pace. "To seek the company of the only one around here thats got any sense."

"And who's that?" She shouted to his retreating form.

"Myself miss Baggins! I've had enough of dwarves for one day."

She watched nervously as he got further away. Now she truly was alone.

"Come on Bombur. We're hungry." Thorin turned his back on the wizard.

"Is he coming back?" Bilbo asked. She was met with silence, something she assumed she'd have to get used to with Gandalf no longer there to remind the others of her worth in this adventure.

As night fell, Bilbo found her worry increasing to the point where she could no longer sit still. She wandered over to Bofur who was ladling soup into wooden bowls.

"He's been gone a long time."

Bofur looked up. "Who?"

"Gandalf." She warmed her hands on the edge of the large soup bowl. Her clothes still pretty much soaked through.

"He's a wizard, he does as he chooses." He grabbed two bowls. "Here, do us a favour. Take these to the lads." He thrust the bowls into her hands before she could refuse and turned back to pull Bombur away from the ladle. "Stop it! You've had five bowls already!"

Bilbo sighed and walked down to where the two brothers would be looking after the ponies. On her way she saw Thorin sitting alone, again, on the trunk of an uprooted tree.

"Thorin..."

He looked up, his eyes not kind but no longer murderous. She took this as a good sign.

"Thorin, I'm sorry about this morning." She looked at her feet. "I didn't mean to... It wasn't what you thought. I didn't do anything with your nephews." Her cheeks were bright red again. "I don't want you to think I'm trying to distract them or anything."

She looked back up finally and found that Thorin was now walking back up to the campsite. She hurried on to the brothers, wanting more than anything to change out of her damp clothes and go to sleep.

When she got to the clearing where the ponies were kept she couldn't see the brothers anywhere. She placed the soup on the ground and walked around the ponies, calling out for them.

"Bilbo?" She turned and saw the two brothers walking over to her, topless.

Her eyes widened and she tried to look away. They didn't seem phased at all as they made no move to clothe themselves.

"I... Uh, I brought soup." She crossed her arms under her chest flicking her eyes anywhere but at the brothers and their toned and muscular bodies.

Kili frowned. "You're clothes are still wet."

"I wish you'd have taken one of our coats." Fili added, folding his arms.

"I'm fine. Honestly."

She cleared her throat and made to leave when Kili caught her by the arm. "Bilbo... I'm sorry."

"We both are."

She shook her head. "It was my fault. I'm well aware that your uncle hates me already and yet I continue to do things that infuriate him. Thats not your problem."

Fili chuckled. "He doesn't hate you Bilbo, he's just conflicted."

She furrowed her eyebrows and dared to look at them again. "Huh?"

Kili smirked. "Our uncle far from hates you Bilbo." His hand was still holding her arm loosely. "I think it is us that he dislikes most at the moment."

"Why? Why would you think that?"

Fili and Kili shared a look. "We believe our uncle is jealous."

"Jealous? Jealous of-"

"Oh no..." Kili dropped his bowl, his hand slipping from Bilbos arm.

"Whats the matter?" She asked.

"We were supposed to be looking after the ponies..."

"And?"

Fili picked up on his brothers realisation. "But we've now encountered a slight problem."

They were both staring fixedly at the ponies and Bilbo followed their gaze trying to pick out what the problem was.

"We had sixteen." Kili gulped.

"Now there's 14..."

Kili began running through the ponies, counting again and again on his fingers. "Daisy and Bungo are missing."

"Well thats... Not good." Bilbos dread was somehow lessened by the sight of the handsome dwarves without shirts. Thorin accused her of being a distraction but clearly he had been accusing the wrong person. Thorin. "Shouldn't we tell Thorin?"

Fili smiled sheepishly. "Ahah, no... Lets not worry him. As our official burglar, you should probably look into it."

Bilbo squinted into the darkness. "Well uh... looks like something big uprooted these trees. Something very big, possibly quite dangerous."

"Hey, there's a light!" Fili crept behind the uprooted tree and crouched. "Over here." He whispered.

Kili grabbed Bilbos hand and pulled her beside him in a crouch. "Stay down."

A loud laugh sounded from a few feet away from them. She tried to pay attention but it was hard when Kili's arm was holding her waist.

"What is it?"

"Trolls."

The three of them watched as the large grey skinned creature picked two ponies up and began to walk away again. When the coast was clear, Kili jumped over the tree.

"He's got Myrtle and Mindy!" She struggled with her skirts as she tried to climb over the trunk. Fili watching her was quick to pick her up by her waist and pull her over the trunk. "I think they're going to eat them, we have do something!" Bilbo nodded a thanks to Fili before running after Kili.

"Yes, you should. Mountain trolls are so stupid and you're so small, they'll never see you!" He crouched again, behind a bush that covered the view of the troll campsite. "It's perfectly safe, we'll be right behind you." Kili pushed her towards a gap in the bush.

"If you get into trouble hoot twice like a barn owl and once like a brown owl." Fili patted her shoulder.

Bilbo gripped her skirt as she made her way forwards. "Hoot twice like a barn owl... Twice like a brown owl? Are you sure this is a good idea?" She turned around for reassurance and found that the two brothers had disappeared.

"Mutton yesterday, mutton tonight."

Bilbo jumped in surpise at the whining voice and shrunk into the shadows, watching the three trolls argue about food. As an argument began about whether or not they were sheep or ponies, Bilbo snuck round to where the horses had been confined behind rope. She knelt on the ground and began pulling at the thick knots.

"I hope you're going to gut these horses, I don't like the sticky parts." The same troll began whining again.

Bilbo looked around for something sharp to cut the rope with as the biggest troll shoved the smallest one down to sit. She spied a large looking knife hanging from the trolls belt and crawled over to him, heart pounding, cursing Fili and Kili in her head. Leaning over, Bilbo's fingertips grazed the hilt of the blade and retracted quickly as the trolls hand swooped over her head, searching for something.

She squeaked as it grabbed her and lifted her to its nose. Before she could struggle free she was covered in a thick coating of troll snot.

"Oh! Blimey!" The troll held her at arms length as the other two looked on in bewilderment. "Look! Look whats just come out of me hooter! It's got arms and everything."

Bilbo wretched as she tried to wipe the snot from her hair and clothes.

"What is it?" One of the trolls asked, its putrid breath fanning over her like fumes.

"I don't know... but I don't like the way it wriggles around!" The troll holding Bilbo threw her to the ground suddenly, causing her to scrape her knees. She stood quickly, looking around desperately for Kili and Fili.

"What are you then? An oversized squirrel?"

Bilbo felt well and truly lost. Why had she ever let the brothers force her into this? "I'm a burglar- ah Hobbit..."

"Burglar hobbit?"

Bilbo looked around despairingly, willing the dwarves to show up. Her skirt had a large tear in the left side, most likely from climbing over the tree, and her hair was so dirty it was hard to tell that it was actually blonde. As the trolls began arguing again she started to back slowly away towards the ponies.

Unfortunately for her, the trolls caught on pretty quick and all three lunged at her, their yellow eyes wide in amusement. "Are there anymore of you little fellas hiding where you shouldn't?" The one who's fist she was gripped in squeezed her uncomfortably tight.

"No!" She gasped, her hands slamming onto his leathery skin.

"She's lying!"

"I'm not!"

"Hold her toes over the fire, make her squeal!"

Bilbo was swung around and held by her feet over the fire, her skirts coming down and revealing her beloved red knickers to the disgusting creatures who howled with laughter. She could no longer see anything as her skirt fell over her eyes but she still recognised Kili as a loud cry sounded from below her. She heard the swift swish of a sword being unsheathed and the howl of a troll as the sword slashed its shin.

"Drop her!"

"You what?!" Boomed the wounded troll.

"I said, drop her."

The troll holding Bilbo threw her down onto Kili who fell backwards at the force. At that same moment the company, lead by Thorin, charged through and began attacking the trolls. Bilbo scrambled to get up but was tangled in the layers of her skirt.

"Ouch!" Wheezed Kili as her heel hit his chest.

"I'm sorry! I'm just..." She pulled desperately at her skirt and heard a large rip. "Oh no no no..."

Kili pulled her to her feet and they both watched as the tear in the left side of her skirt grew to just under her thigh. She groaned in annoyance and grabbed both sides desperately. "This isnt happening, this is not happening."

Kili smirked and watched her struggle to fix the shredded material.

"Bilbo! Kili! Watch out!" Fili yelled as loudly as he could from beside Gloin, but it was too late.

Bilbo was grabbed by two of the trolls and held tightly by her arms and legs.

"Bilbo!" Kili cried, guilt swelling inside of him for letting his guard down.

"Lay down your arms or we'll whip hers off." The trolls grinned sadistically.

Thorin grabbed Kili's shoulder to stop him from running forwards. He begrudingly laid down his sword and sure enough, the company slowly relinquished their weapons too. Bilbo looked anywhere but at the dwarves, desperate to cover her legs from prying eyes.

Her prayers to cover up were answered within seconds, just not in the way she would have liked. Each of the dwarves and Bilbo were thrown carelessly into sacks and piled up and then several dwarves, including Dwalin and Ori were tied to a roasting pole and held over the fire.

"We haven't got a lot of time, dawns on its way, so lets get a move on." The largest troll chastised the other two. "I don't fancy being turned to stone."

Upon hearing this, Bilbo's eyes lit up. She knew what she had to.

"Wait! You're making a terrible mistake!" She shouted, wriggling and jumping so she could stand in her bag.

"You can't reason with them lassie, they're halfwits!" Dori called down to her, his face red and shiny with sweat.

"Halfwits! What does that make us!" Bofur cried.

Bilbo stuttered and stumbled through excuse after excuse seeming to the other dwarves to just anger the trolls rather than actually solve anything.

"The secret to cooking dwarves is... is erm..." Her eyes flickered over the scenery for inspiration, landing on the large knife on the smallest trolls belt. "The secret is to skin them first!"

Outraged cries sounded from all the dwarves, particularly Kili. She fixed him with a glare. The trolls looked on skeptically, finally frowning and shaking her advice off. "Nothing wrong with a bit of raw dwarf!"

The smallest one stood up and reached for Bombur. "Nice and crunchy!" His slug like tongue swiped over his chapped lips making Bilbo feel ill.

"Not that one!" She wracked her brains. "He's... He's infected!"

"You what?" The troll paused mid lick and pulled a face.

"Yeah he's got... worms in his... tubes." Bombur was thrown back into the pile with haste. "In fact... they all have. They're infected with parasites! It's a terrible business, I wouldn't risk it, I really wouldn't."

"Parasites? Did she say parasites?!" Oin yelled furiously from his bag.

"We don't have parasites! You have parasites!" Kili retaliated.

Bilbo bit her lip anxiously, willing Kili to just be silent for a godamn second. Thorin, finally realising her plan, kicked his nephew swiftly and looked at him pointedly.

It was silent for a moment until Oin piped up again. "I've got parasites as big as my arm!"

"I've got bigger parasites," Kili chipped in. "I've got huge parasites!"

Soon enough every dwarf was complaining about their infestations, the more theatrical of the company going as far as to groan in pain.

"You think I don't know what you're getting up to? This little ferret is taking us for fools!" The cook pointed his stirring stick at Bilbo's chest, poking harshly.

She noticed a flicker of grey manouver over the rock behind the cook and looked back to the troll nervously. She just had to wait a few more seconds.

"Ferret?" She asked innocently.

As she had hoped, Gandalf appeared over the rock, arms spread wide and staff held tightly in his left hand. "The dawn will take you all!"

His staff hit the rock and split it in two, showering the scene in bright morning light. The trolls screamed in agony as their bodies twitched and convulsed, transforming to rock and Bilbo let out the biggest sigh of relief she could muster. Never had she been so happy to see Gandalf.

The wizard helped the dwarves down from the fire as the others helped each other with their sacks. As soon as Thorin was free he began talking in hushed tones both of their eyes flicking to Bilbo at one point. Bilbo watched, still confined in her sack and jumped as Fili's hand appeared on her shoulder.

"Need some help?" He smiled kindly.

Bilbo nodded and turned so her back was facing him. "I must look a sight right now, I'm covered in mud and..." a shudder went down her spine, "troll snot."

Fili chuckled. "You were very brave today little hobbit." His fingertips caressed the nape of her neck, where the knot of the sack was tied. "Bravery like that deserves a reward." He whispered.

She shivered again and tried to look over her shoulder at him, lips pulling back in a teasing smile. "I'm guessing a dwarf reward is something like a kick in the shin or a headbutt?"

Fili's smile morphed into a smirk. "Oh, I think you'll find my idea of a reward very..." His hand travelled down her spine. "satisfying."

My biggest apologies for the lateness of this post! I've had mocks and things to do and I've been procrastinating but here it is, I hope it was okay. Apologies for the mispelling of 'orc' in the previous chapters, thank you very much whoever corrected me on that. As always thank you so much if you left a review/followed the story/favourited the story, it honestly means so so much to me.
Be prepared for some long awaited smutt soon! ;-)