Disclaimer: Hmm… I'm sitting on my bed! I loooove my laptop! And why is this relevant to a disclaimer? Because this laptop, which contains the entire text (mostly, anyway, I'm still debating about a scene I wrote in my notebook) is not registered to someone with the initial of JKR…

Chapter 17: Shrinking, Shrinking, Shrunk

One Monday in February, a miracle happened. All five Marauders were in the Great Hall on time for breakfast. There was no last minute scrambling to find school books, bags, or even clothes. No one had hidden Peter's wand, so there was no last minute regaining of a conscience. No Slytherins were encountered in the halls, the staircases behaved themselves, for once, Peeves had been scared out of his wits by the Bloody Baron, and so, the Marauders were on time for breakfast.

So, what was the reason for this early awakening?

Lily had set a dungbomb to go off in the boys' dormitory at six in the morning.

So of course this morning was an early one.

The boys had retaliated- or rather, attempted to- after a short planning session in the common room, by charging up the stairs to the girls' dormitory, with the intent of setting their bed curtains on fire.

Unfortunately for them, they did not know of the staircases' unfortunate habit of changing to a slide.

Fortunately, this accomplished their goal of waking the girls up, as the transformation was accompanied by a loud klaxon-like sound.

So, the girls were awakened, and stood at the top of the stairs for a good five minutes, laughing at the twisted pile of limbs, smelling faintly of dung, at the bottom of the slide. Well, Lily laughed. Jenna just glared. Until Lily pulled her down the slide- into the odorous dog-pile- at which point she shrieked. And would have gone back to bed, except for the fact that there was no way up the smooth, gently curving slide.

Denied the ability to return to bed, by the staircase for the girls, and the smell for the boys, the five decided to simply beat the rest of the school to breakfast.

So, yes, the Marauders were on time for breakfast. But, dressed, they were not. Still in pajamas, with un-combed hair and smelling of dungbombs, they took seats at the very middle of the Gryffindor table and partook of the goodness that was set before them.

"I kind of feel sorry for Peter." Remus reached for the bacon. "He didn't wake up with the rest of us…"

Lily snorted.

"I wouldn't laugh if I were you. You're still his partner for Potions." James reminded her. The second years had been set in partnerships to work on a potion that needed to sit over the weekend, and the same partnerships would apply today as they finished.

"Aw, man…"

"Don't complain. It's your fault." Jenna grumped, true to her nature as an anti-morning person.

"You helped!"

"So?"

"So, you should be his partner!"

"In what universe does that logic make sense?"

"This one?" Lily asked hopefully.

"Nothin' doin'. Professor Salsa set him as your partner, you deal with him."

"Oh, shut your bickering." Jenna and Lily both stuck their tongues out at James.

A period of silence ensued while the quintet ate their breakfast.

"We must do this more often," Sirius remarked, to break the uncharacteristic silence.

"What, you enjoy smelling like crap?" James asked, incredulous.

"No, I enjoy the bounty of good things to eat."

"Ah, yes, the glories of the unspoiled banquet of early morning."

"What, have you two been reading Shakespeare?" Lily asked, kicking James and Sirius under the table.

"Ow, what was that for?"

"No, Shakespeare would have said something like: To eat or not to eat, that is the question. Whether 'tis nobler to-"

"Now, you two stop your bickering." The two glared at Remus. "No, I mean it. Dumbledore looks like he wants to say something."

And so the headmaster did. He was standing at the podium, waiting for the room, which had filled remarkably quickly with nearly the entire population of the school, to quiet. Despite the number of students, it didn't take long. "I apologize for any inconvenience, but I would like to say a few words this fine morning. We would like to extend a warm welcome back to a returning teacher. Professor Slughorn, who has taken the last year and a half off teaching for a well earned hiatus, will return to his normal post as potions master, beginning today. We would like to thank Professor Salsa for her kind service filling in for Professor Slughorn for the period of his sabbatical." Dumbledore led the room in a round of applause before sitting back down at the head of the staff table. Under cover of the noise, Lily whispered to Jenna, "Hah, maybe I won't have to be partners with Peter."

"You shouldn't be so mean. You know he needs your help in potions." Jenna reminded Lily of her prowess in the subject. She was easily one of the best in the year.

"Bah." Lily turned back to her breakfast.

"Well, aren't we a cheerful bunch?" Remus rolled his eyes.

"Some of us actually need sleep." Jenna was slowly stirring her cereal.

"I would think you would be one of them, Remy. Isn't full moon next week?" James reached across Remus for a piece of toast. Remus stabbed him with his fork. "Hey!"

"Be quiet."

"Hey, Lils, next time you decide to wake us up, make sure it's after seven, 'kay?" Sirius grumped.

"Yeah, that was a bit stupid on my part."

"Anyway, we have potions soon. We should all go get dressed." Jenna pushed her half eaten bowl of cereal away and stood to go back up to the dormitory. The rest followed.

…………..

Despite waking up so early, the Marauders were late to potions class. They ran pell-mell down to the first floor classroom- Sirius was still tying his tie- and burst in, out of breath, just as the bell rang.

"Ah! I didn't think this class was quite big enough!" Professor Slughorn greeted them. He was a rather short, very fat man, with a bushy mustache, mostly gray but shot through with auburn. He was going bald, with a large shiny spot in the middle of his head. "Now, please take your seats."

The five took their seats, with their partners. Lily sat as far away from Peter as she possibly could, still looking slightly hopeful that the new professor would not make them finish the potions they were working on.

"Now, in order to ascertain how much Professor Salsa has taught you children, I would like you to continue with the hiccup curing potion you were assigned last Friday." Lily groaned. Slughorn looked up. "Do you have something to add, Miss…"

"Evans." Lily supplied. "And, no, I just…um…" She couldn't keep herself from sneaking a glance at Peter, sitting next to her. He looked mortified, blushing hard and refusing to look anywhere but the desk in front of him. "I…"

"Ah, Miss Evans. Professor Salsa mentioned you."

"Oh, she did?" It was Lily's turn to blush.

"Yes, apparently, you're quite the potions whiz." Slughorn looked at Lily approvingly.

"Um, I don't know about that…"

"And so humble, too. I'm quite impressed already. I look forward to getting to know you better."

"Thank you, I think."

Slughorn chuckled. "Now, back to work everybody. Oh, and one more thing. Beginning tomorrow, potions will meet in the dungeons." Surprised mutterings ensued. "Nothing too surprising, that's where potions has always been held. At least, it had until Professor Salsa decided to change everything around… Anyway, that's neither here nor there, so back to work!"

"Hm, I sense a little bitterness," Lily muttered to Jenna as they gathered at the store cupboards.

"Yeah, but at least he seems to like you."

Lily grunted. "Yeah, but I still have to work with Peter."

"It's your fault."

"So? He could have taken a shower."

For Lily, the class couldn't pass fast enough. Normally a subject she liked, today she just wanted to get over with it, thanks to her early morning prank. Finally, pass it did, and the bell rang to take them to Charms, the next class of the day.

"Finally," Lily exclaimed as she packed her books back into her bag. "Finally, a fun subject."

"Finally? It's only the second class." James rolled his eyes.

"A fun subject?! Lily my dear, when will you realize that there are no fun subjects?" Sirius slung an arm around the red-head's shoulders as they made their way around desks and the remnants of Snape's potion. Sirius had chucked a spitwad into the unsuspecting Slytherin's cauldron, causing the hiccup curing solution to explode.

"Just because you're terrible at charms…" Lily retorted.

"Hey, no need to rub it in!"

"Oh, but you know I must…"

Friendly banter of the like continued up the stairs and through several corridors until the group entered the Charms classroom, where they took their usual seats, ready for an enjoyable lesson. Despite Sirius' claims to the contrary, Professor Flitwick often prepared fun lessons, which were made even more fun by the amount of "accidental" pranking that could happen.

A decent lesson was promised when Flitwick entered, balancing a large crate of oversized thimbles. The tall professor set them gently on his desk before turning to the class and beginning the lesson.

"Now, if you will quiet down, we may begin," Flitwick said in his deep voice, bringing the class to a semblance of order. "Today we will be studying shrinking charms. You might have noticed that your thimbles are much too large to be of any use. Your task will be to return these thimbles to their original, useful size. Instructions are here-" he waved his wand at the blackboard- "and I will be monitoring to answer any questions you might have. I must warn you before-hand, this spell is not meant to be used on living beings, as the effects are often irreversible. If you want a weight loss charm"- his eye twinkled merrily- "talk to Madam Pomfrey. Now, please take a thimble and then you may begin."

The scuffle that ensued resulted in only one accident- Jenna tripped over a bag left in the aisle between rows of desks. James laughed and helped his friend to her feet. The girl blushed and turned away so he wouldn't see her embarrassment.

Back at the row of desks at the back of the room, Lily was planning the uses this particular charm could have. "We could shrink the toilets! Or Peter's sheets, that would be funny. Or Snivelly's undies!"

"Yeah, but in that case, we would actually have to see his undies. Do you really want that?" Remus reminded the exuberant girl.

"Uh, no, not really. We could shrink his head!"

"Lils, I don't think we could do that. Professor Flitwick said-" James had returned, followed closely by Jenna.

"Or we could shrink your head," Lily muttered.

"What?" A momentary expression of hurt crossed James' face. The only one to see was Jenna, who looked quickly from the boy to her best friend.

"Oh, nothing!" Lily replied a little too brightly.

"Oh. Well, let's get to work."

Half an hour later, Lily was the only one who had succeeded in shrinking her thimble to the correct size. She fit it on her finger and was triumphantly waving it in the air, when James got fed up with his thimble, which had done nothing but skip a couple times. "How do you do that?"

"Do what?" Lily asked, though her grin indicated she knew exactly what. She just wanted her rival to acknowledge it.

James grumbled a little before giving the desired reply. "How are you so good at this?"

"Oh, I don't know, natural skill, I guess."

"Yeah, and you say I have a big head." James muttered darkly.

"What, I didn't quite catch that."

"I said, I'm not the only one with a big head around here." James glared at Lily, still a little hurt from her earlier comment about his ego.

"Really. Well, I'd say yours is a bit bigger than mine."

"What makes you think that?"

"You haven't stopped bragging about your stupid Quidditch team since you made it."

"It's not my fault I'm better than you!"

"Why you-" Lily hissed through clenched jaws, raising her arm to try shrinking his head, regardless of James' earlier warning. Unfortunately, in the same second as Lily yelled the spell, James bent down to pick up his thimble, which had bounced off his desk. The jet of white light soared over his head, and hit Flitwick squarely in the back. Lily had an instant to register that her spell had not hit her intended target before a burst of bright light issued from the professor's body. Silence swept the classroom as every student turned and stared in shock as the tall man shrank, and shrank, and shrank, each time sending off another burst of light. He shrank, until, with a final burst of light, the top of his tall pointed hat was no higher than Lily's shoulder. When it was clear that Professor Flitwick would shrink no further, every eye in the class turned to Lily, who was standing in shock, her trembling wand arm still extended.

………

I always wondered why Flitwick was so short... heehee. You should be glad that JKR already gave a reason for Hagrid… Otherwise I might find it necessary to do something horrible to him, as well. ;) Review please!

On an unrelated note, I am in desperate need of a beta. If you are interested, or know someone who might be, please let me know!!