Chapter 3
"Bo. Thanks for coming."
The brunette gave Kate a small smile as she walked over to the table in the café that they'd agreed to meet at. Kate had been talking to Leo about finding out more regarding Bo's company but so far the only things he'd come across were the standard PR literature that was available on any basic web search. She knew the secrecy was on purpose and while she didn't really care about the why she had to admit it made her curious. Everything about Bo made her curious as the woman was so guarded.
"Not a problem. See you found it okay?"
Kate smiled and sipped on some water. "Yes, well actually Siri helped."
The pair shared an awkward smile at her bad joke and Bo just nodded as she took a seat across from the lawyer. "So what is it I can help you with? I'm assuming my wife gave you some version of the details, I can do the same or if you have specific questions you'd like answered I can do that as well."
Kate smiled and shook her head. Both women were headstrong and direct and she could see why they worked as a couple but also why their forwardness could be a downfall. She sighed softly as she gave Bo a patient smile. "Why don't you start wherever you'd like?"
Bo rolled her eyes slightly. "Look Ms. Reed, I can appreciate your position in this matter but really I'm not sure what I can tell you that would aid you in gaining any insightful information. My relationship has been slowly fading and regardless if Lauren admits it or not she is just as responsible as I am for that. We've had our ups and downs and I made one very big mistake but she's not completely absolved of any responsibility here. It's just unfortunate that the mistake I made seems to have sealed the fate for us so unless you have some formula for fixing that then I think we're both wasting each other's time here."
Kate absorbed the words with some hesitancy and nodded as she looked at Bo carefully. "Ms. Dennis, Bo, I just have a few questions that might help me understand why you want to stay connected to the Lewis Foundation if that's okay?"
Bo sighed. "Sure. What are they?"
Kate peered at her slightly. "Tell me about your life with Dr. Lewis before the affair."
Bo looked confused. "What?"
Kate just nodded. "Humor me."
Bo sighed as she sat back in her seat and looked thoughtful. It had been quite some time since she'd really sat and thought about how things used to be and she realized as she tried to do so how hard it was to think back and find the exact moment when things turned from heir fun and loving relationship to the mess that it had become.
ooOOoo
February 2008
"Lauren? Honey you home?"
Bo entered the large house they'd bought tucked away in the quiet suburb of Brentwood and she sighed as it appeared completely quiet. This had become more and more of a familiar scene with her coming home to an empty house. She wasn't sure if the blonde was doing it on purpose or if it really was just bad timing but she knew she missed coming home to her wife. She'd heard somewhere that the first year of marriage was the hardest and she had to admit she understood what that meant far too well. She knew it was Lauren's day off and she sighed loudly in frustration as she wondered where the blonde had gone to this time. About six months ago things had gotten extremely busy for her as she stared up her business and after meeting some good contacts she was confident the next eighteen months would prove to be quite beneficial for both of them. She set her bag down on the kitchen counter and moved over to pour herself a glass of wine as she kicked her shoes off and rubbed the back of her neck lightly.
"Hey."
Bo jumped slightly as Lauren came into the room with a smile. Bo felt her body relax as she took in the sight of her wife in her robe and her wet hair wrapped in a towel. Bo moved over and hummed happily as she put her arms loosely around Lauren's waist letting the blonde kiss her lightly on the lips. "How was work?"
Bo shrugged as she ran her hands up and down Lauren's back. "It was work. What did you do today?"
Lauren laughed and brought her hands up to play with the collar of Bo's very expensive dress shirt. "A whole lot of nothing. Oh but I did speak with my mother and we have to go to my cousins baby shower this weekend. If you're free?"
Bo ignored the slight jab at her busy work life of late and nodded as she let her nose rub the soft skin of Lauren's neck. "Sure, just let me know when and I'll make sure I'm home. Which cousin?"
Lauren laughed playfully as Bo's actions tickled her neck and she sighed happily. "Jennifer. She's having her second."
Bo nodded and nipped at the skin lightly. "Good for her. Do we need to buy a present?"
Lauren moaned lightly and moved her head slightly to give Bo more access to her neck. "I'll pick something up tomorrow on my way home from work."
Bo just grunted in confirmation as she pressed her luck slightly and made her actions slightly more purposeful. To her credit Lauren managed to keep her composure as she cupped Bo's face lightly and brought her gaze up to meet hers. She placed a chaste kiss on her lips and smiled. "Thank you."
Bo looked confused as she gave Lauren a small smile. "For what?"
Lauren kind of motioned with her hand into the air. "I know these family things aren't your favorite let alone a bunch of women sitting around talking about children."
Bo laughed as she brushed some hair away from Lauren's face. "Well I suppose I should get used to it right?"
Lauren looked at Bo carefully as she squared her shoulders and furrowed her eyebrows knowing where Bo was going with this conversation. "What do you mean?"
Bo ignored the nagging in the pit of her stomach and shrugged. "I mean kids Lauren…it's an idea I need to get used to right?"
Lauren sighed and Bo frowned as she felt the blonde tense slightly in her arms. "We talked about this Bo."
Bo looked at her carefully and nodded. "Yeah we did Lauren and we agreed in a few years we'd consider it. So relax I'm not saying we need to do this today."
Lauren huffed and pushed Bo away slightly as she turned to walk out of the room. Bo watched her walk away silently and she shook her head as she dropped her hands to her side in annoyance. "What Lauren? What is wrong now?"
Lauren didn't say anything at first but then paused as she exited the room. "Nothing is wrong Bo. I need to get ready."
Bo looked exasperated. "We're having a conversation Lauren."
Lauren gave her an even stare. "We've had this conversation Bo. Many many times before. I don't want to fight with you about this so like I said I need to get ready. I'm going to meet Tamsin for drinks."
Bo gritted her teeth in annoyance as she turned and sighed. "Fine, have a good time."
Lauren didn't say anything as she looked at Bo sadly and walked out of the room quietly. Bo wasn't sure why Lauren got so weird whenever the topic of children came up but sooner or later she would get to the bottom of this.
ooOOoo
Present Day
"Bo?"
Kate looked concerned as the brunette across from her seemed to be at a loss for words. Bo looked startled as she looked at Kate and just shook her head as she cleared her throat. "Before the affair things were fine. They were strained from time to time but nothing that wouldn't be expected during a normal long term relationship I don't think."
Kate nodded. "Okay, so then I have to ask, why cheat?"
Bo sighed as she sat back and sipped the wine that she'd ordered. That question had been haunting her since it had happened and to this day she didn't have a simple answer. Sure, she could say that it was due to being tired of Lauren always taking things out on her whenever she had a shit day or her research was not going well, or she could say it was payback for Lauren not wanting to have a child with her. For a long time that was a point of contention with them and Bo knew at some point she'd given up on that dream and it killed her. Worse yet she could say that she'd become complacent with her relationship and was just looking for something different to mix things up a little. She needed to feel something that she hadn't felt in a while, even if it wasn't with the woman she'd promised to love unconditionally all those years ago. All those excuses in her head sounded stupid and she knew if she ever said them out loud it wouldn't capture the truth in its entirety. She knew she'd failed Lauren when she'd made the decision to give in to Evony and she knew from the first time it happened that it would destroy the one thing she cherished most in her life.
Bo shrugged. "I don't have a reason."
Kate gave her a slightly condescending smile. "Bo, let's cut the shit here. You're a smart woman, you know that what happened jeopardized your ten year relationship with the woman who you claim is the love of your life. I don't think you make a decision like that without some motivation."
Bo snarled in response. "She is the love of my life and it's quite forward of you to make an assumption that I disregarded that fact knowingly."
Kate looked at her thoughtfully. "Then why did you do it?"
Bo sighed and bit the inside of her cheek slightly to keep her composure. She looked thoughtful for a second and Kate saw a distinctive flash of sadness cross her features. She was going to ask what the look was for but Bo's calm and low voice finally broke the silence. "Let me ask you Ms. Reed, have you ever had a moment of knowing you've achieved everything you wanted in life but not knowing where you stand with the way things worked out? Let me be clear here, I am very happy with my life and my wife, but have you ever felt like something was…"
Kate waited as Bo trailed off quietly and looked at her with a gentle smile. "Missing?"
Bo's head snapped up and she looked at her with confusion. "No, not missing. More like, unsettled?"
Kate thought about Bo's statement and she nodded slowly. Her own personal life wasn't the most textbook in theory so she could understand where Bo was coming from. She gave her a small smile as she took a sip of her own wine. "Do you think the unsettled feeling was resolved by what you did?"
Bo looked down and tried to get her thoughts in order quickly. No one had had such a truthful conversation with her since the affair with Evony had been discovered, not even Kenzi who basically had berated her on the spot before offering the comfort only a best friend could offer. She knew most of the people in her life were a bit intimidated by her so she was quite taken aback by the way this complete stranger was point blank asking her the questions she'd been too afraid to ask herself. "I'm not sure."
Kate nodded again. "Okay, so is this uncertainty the reason you don't want to cut ties with the foundation Bo?"
Bo shook her head. "No, that's purely professional. Did she tell you the reason I'd dumped money into the foundation?"
Kate sighed and nodded. "She did."
Bo chuckled sarcastically. "Well whatever version she told you was probably only half true. Yes, I had the company provide money for genetics and fertilization research. I wanted a child that was ours and Lauren said it was possible, or at least theoretically possible with some research. At first I know she didn't want to pursue it but eventually she did. To this day I think she's still working on it and if she's successful I want to know about it."
Kate looked confused. "You can still know about it Bo without being a benefactor."
Bo shrugged. "That work that she's doing is both of our lives work. I wanted this to be successful as much if not more than she did. I supported her in everything she did and gave her every opportunity she needed to try and make it work along with the other research she was doing. I believe in her Ms. Reed, Kate, I really do. What she's doing will move science forward by centuries and I want to be a part of that. It's exciting and interesting but more importantly…it's her dream."
Kate smiled sadly as she could see the exterior crumble slightly around Bo's stoic presence. Kate Reed may not know a lot of things and she may live a romanticized life in some instances but she knew love when she saw it. Even after everything these two had been through she was sitting across from a woman who still wanted everything for the woman that she loved, even if her actions over the past few months said something different. Kate leaned forward slightly and looked at Bo sadly. "You need to tell her this Bo. The one thing I've learned from both of you is that you are horrible communicators when it comes to how you feel."
Bo scoffed and shook her head. "With all due respect Kate, I believe the time to fix our relationship has ended. And I'm not talking about the affair. I'm talking about years ago when she admitted having children was not something she wanted. I would have given her whatever she wanted and only asked for one thing in return. Screw that, I did give her everything she wanted and she wasn't willing to budge on the one thing she knew I wanted most. It was selfish and I accepted it at the time because my only option would be to not be with her any longer and I wasn't willing to give that up. I chose her over my dream and where did it leave me? If you think what I did was wrong that's fine, but I want you to know that despite how it all seems I did not act out of vengeance. Or boredom. Or anger. I gave everything and didn't ask for anything I didn't believe she wanted as well in return. I gave up everything for her, can she say the same thing?"
Bo stood up and wiped her hands on her napkin lightly. "I'm sorry Ms. Reed but I don't think there's anything further to discuss here."
Kate looked startled at Bo's sudden departure and she stood up slightly as she tried to think of what to say. "Bo…"
The brunette looked at her sadly. "Yes?"
Kate looked slightly helpless as she could see Bo had shut down emotionally and anything she asked would be met with a flippant answer. "If you could have fixed it, if you could have changed the outcome?"
Bo sighed and gave her a sad smile. "I would have gone to dinner instead."
With that she turned and walked out of the restaurant quietly. She hadn't been prepared to delve so much into her personal history and the longer she sat there and talked to Kate the more the feelings of guilt and remorse took hold of her emotions and she wasn't certain she'd be able to keep control of them. Bo prided herself as being able to be levelheaded and make decisions rationally and right now she felt anything but that. As she climbed into her Range Rover she shook her head and tried to focus on the meeting she would be going into later that afternoon. She wasn't ready to admit to Lauren how hurt she had been over so much of what happened between them and she now felt foolish for even giving Kate the insight that she was so affected by all of this. Had she looked back she would have seen Kate look at her sadly before sitting down and finishing her glass of wine. Kate couldn't figure out why the two of them couldn't see how much they still loved each other even though all the mess and confusion that had become their relationship.
ooOOoo
April 2014
RING RING RING
"Hey Laur…"
The blonde smiled as she put the finishing touches on her makeup. "Hey babe, just checking that you are still on track to meet me at the restaurant?"
Bo laughed slightly and looked down at the mess on her desk. "Yeah I'll be there hun. I'm just finishing a few things up but I'll be out the door soon okay?"
Lauren smiled and nodded even though Bo couldn't see her. "Okay, see you at eight. Bye love."
Bo smiled. "Bye honey."
Lauren hit end on her phone as she sighed happily and checked her reflection in the mirror once again. It was a big night for them as she was going to give Bo the news of her lifetime. All the years of plodding through countless research had finally paid off as they'd successfully been able to create an embryo from two female organisms in the lab. Sure, it was far from human genetics but it meant her hypothesis was right and if the tests she ran today came back positive she'd be able to give Bo what she wanted most in the world. They were literally on the edge of a scientific revolution and she was excited to be the one to literally carry out the experiment.
More importantly, and along with the news that she couldn't wait to tell Bo she was also excited to tell her about the Staff Director she'd just hired. The addition of this up and coming doctor meant Lauren would only be working part time and would open up her schedule tremendously. Although she still worked long hours they'd been set for a long time and now she was ready to step back from that a little and make time for their family. She had needed to get to a point where she was comfortable to do this and she knew Bo was beyond frustrated with waiting for her to be ready. She had hoped tonight would be the first day of the rest of their life and she couldn't wait to see the look on Bo's face when she gave her the wonderful news.
Across town Bo signed as she sent the last email and shut her laptop down happily seeing that she had a few minutes to spare before she had to meet her wife so she took her time gathering her things and fixing her makeup using the little mirror she kept in her desk. It had been the end of a long week and she was looking forward to a date with her wife, something they hadn't done in ages. As she was walking down the hallway to the elevator she noticed the light in Evony's office was still on. Deciding to take a short detour she walked down to the attorney's office and knocked on the open door lightly.
"Evony, it's Friday night. Go home already."
Evony gave her a predatory smile as she not so subtly looked Bo up and down slowly. "I was just leaving Bo. Care to walk me down?"
Bo motioned for her to come along and the pair headed to the elevator where they got into the small car making small talk. Evony looked at Bo with a knowing smile and she nodded towards Bo slightly. "You look nice, going somewhere special?"
Bo laughed and gave Evony an approving smile. "Meeting Lauren for dinner."
Evony nodded. "And how is the good doctor?"
Bo rolled her eyes at Evony's comment. The attorney had made it quite clear she didn't approve of Lauren or the way she sometimes perceivably treated Bo and her complaints were usually met with Bo telling her to back off. "Lauren is great. Thank you for asking."
Evony looked at her pointedly. "She make a baby in the lab yet?"
Bo looked at her with curiosity. "Come again?"
Evony sighed and hit the stop button on the elevator cart bringing it to a halt between the third and fourth floor. She gave Bo a patient look as she smiled at her condescendingly. "Look Bo, we all know what the research project is you're funding and I'm just saying if it hasn't happened by now it isn't going to happen."
Bo looked doubtful. "You think?" Normally she wouldn't have given Evony's words a second thought but for some reason the way she bluntly put it got through to her. Bo looked at Evony curiously. "You really think she'd do that?"
Evony laughed and shrugged. "Bo, I'm not even going to dignify that with a response however as your legal counsel I will say that Dennis Enterprise has invested quite a sum of money into her research with no progress."
Bo frowned as she thought about this. It was a thought that had been plaguing her somewhat over the past year or so but she never gave it much weight as she knew Lauren would never do that to her. Or at least she was pretty certain Lauren would never do that to her. Something about respect for science or something like that. But given the way Lauren had made her feelings about kids clear she wasn't sure what to think these days.
"Bo, don't bother with what I'm saying. Go have a good time."
Bo looked at her in curiosity and slight defiance. "What is your personal opinion Evony? Really?"
Evony sighed and looked at Bo carefully. She knew what the brunette was asking but she also knew as much as she desired the woman she needed to tread lightly. Her involvement in all this would be complicated so she wanted to remain as neutral as possible even though she wanted an opportunity if only for one night. She smiled and looked at Bo calmly. "Honestly? I feel like we should get a drink before you go and meet Lauren, help you unwind before your dinner."
Bo laughed and shook her head. "I'm late already Evony. Raincheck?"
Evony nodded and hit the button for the cart to start moving again. "Raincheck."
Bo watched her out of the corner of her eye and she couldn't believe the easy way Evony handled herself, regardless of whatever it was they were talking about. It was something that drew the brunette to her and Bo knew she was flirting with danger here a little. In an impulsive move she smiled and turned to Evony slightly. "On second thought, a quick drink wouldn't hurt."
Evony smiled and nodded as she led them out of the building and down the block to the bar they frequented from time to time. Bo hoped she knew what she was doing as she followed her friend into the bar and tried not to think about her wife who was on her way to meet her for dinner at their favorite restaurant. Lauren hadn't said it was anything important tonight so if she were a little late, she was sure the blonde would understand.