Chapter 5

"Lauren wait…"

Tamsin trailed after her friend who was walking surprisingly fast considering she wasn't really paying attention to where she was going. Luckily she'd been to Dennis Enterprise enough times to know the layout of the campus like the back of her hand and she navigated her way blindly towards the parking area lost in thought about everything that had just transpired.

Internally Lauren was beating herself up for the way she'd handled the meeting and she couldn't believe she let the bit of information slip about the research being successful. Sure it technically hadn't been proven successful in a human being but she knew with 100% certainty based on all of the research and clinical trials they'd done in the lab that it would in fact work. Even though her marriage was falling apart and the whole reason she was doing the research in the first place was no longer her end goal she knew she owed it to science to see it through. If nothing else, she had to admit had it not been for her and Bo's relationship she never would have considered this type of study in the lab.

"FUCK!"

Lauren let out a groan of frustration as she realized how much Bo's words were right. She would never truly be rid of her personally or professionally. Even if she was violently angry with Bo and wanted nothing more to do with her you can't just throw away ten years of a relationship. Ten years of memories, of good times and bad, ten years of sharing yourself with someone who was not only your best friend but your confidant and your shelter from the storm that life threw at you. The one person who was supposed to keep you safe and be the reason you went on each day. The one person who was never supposed to break you.

Ten years.

Ten fucking years.

All for what? A handful of memories that Lauren would take with her as she moved on from this tarnished by the hurt and betrayal she felt the night she found out her wife had been unfaithful. And the best part? It wasn't just once. No. It was multiple times over the course of a few months that Bo had gone and fucked around as the void between the two of them continued to grow proving to Lauren that her beloved wife had chosen a high priced whore over her.

Well fuck that.

She was done being understanding and proper and trying to hold their relationship together. She was done doing what was expected and looking past the hurt and the pain and the anger for the greater good. She. Was. Done.

"LAUREN."

The doctor stopped walking and turned around with an annoyed look. "What Tamsin?"

The tall attorney finally caught up to Lauren and sighed as she did her best to not flip out on her friend. "Okay, as your attorney I have to say what you did in there was not in your best interest."

Lauren sighed and looked up at her with a gaze that said she was both frustrated and sad but most of all that she was tired and just wanted all of this to go away. "And as my friend?"

Tamsin gave her a sad smile. "As your friend I'd say you are out of your fucking mind and I swear I thought you were going to go full Carrie in there."

Lauren couldn't hold back the laughter that erupted from her throat and Tamsin breathed a sigh of relief to hear that sound again. When Lauren had found out about the cheating she'd called Tamsin right away and the taller blonde basically up and moved herself from her current home in Chicago to Los Angeles to be with Lauren and help her through this rough time. Lauren knew Tamisn would be there for her, no questions asked, and right now she was glad she had someone like the tall Swedish woman she could call her best friend.

"Well I won't argue with you there. And don't worry, I don't think I've hit the full on crazy stage."

Tamsin laughed and nodded. "Well not yet at least. Come on, let's get you home."

The pair had ridden together as Lauren stated she didn't want to get trapped alone with Bo in case the brunette had ulterior motives and Tamisn had immediately agreed and offered to drive in case Lauren was too upset after the meeting to do so herself. They climbed into Tamsin's Mercedes and within a few minutes they were headed down the main road away from the large offices towards the townhome that Lauren was renting. Once she found out about the cheating she knew she couldn't stay in the house that held so many memories of their lives together let alone sleep in the bed she'd shared with Bo all those years. Luckily for her she had a friend who was a realtor and was able to move into the spacious townhome within a few days of making the call to inquire about a vacancy. Because of her work at the Lewis Foundation she didn't want to leave the city so she was staying in Santa Monica and had basically spent the three or four months doing nothing but working and sleeping.

"You hungry?"

Tamsin glanced over at Lauren as she navigated the streets of downtown Los Angeles and expertly guided them quickly towards Lauren's temporary home. She had thought it wasn't fair that Lauren should be the one to move out but when the doctor had explained her reasoning Tamsin couldn't argue with her rationale and she understood why the blonde really didn't want to have to step foot in that house again.

"No I'm okay. Just tired."

Tamsin nodded and took the exit from the 10W to turn up towards the townhome. She knew Lauren wouldn't be hungry so she'd just driven towards the townhome knowing they wouldn't be stopping.

RING RING

Lauren glanced at her phone and shook her head as she showed Tamsin the phone.

Bo Dennis

Without hesitation Tamsin grabbed the phone out of Lauren's hand and hit the 'end' button before throwing the phone in the back seat. It wasn't odd for Bo to call her after what transpired today but Lauren was just surprised she'd called so soon after the meeting ended. Bo hadn't tried to call her in a few weeks after the last time she did she caught an ear full from a slightly drunk Lauren about having lost the right to think she could talk to her whenever she pleased. Since Bo had admitted the affair to Lauren she'd spent all her time trying to talk to the blonde to explain the situation but Lauren wasn't having it. She didn't care what the reason was that Bo had decided it would be okay to screw someone else when she was supposed to be faithful to her.

It's not to say Lauren hadn't thought about the situation and she'd come to a few realizations about the whole situation. First off, Lauren knew if it had only been one time, perhaps a drunken night after Bo was working late and wasn't thinking straight or a night when they'd been fighting and Bo acted out of vengeance she probably could forgive. She wouldn't forget, but she was almost certain she could forgive that because she strongly believe everyone deserved a second chance, even her cheating asshole of a wife.

Secondly, Lauren figured even if the cheating had been more than once but been over the course of a week or two she would be able to rationalize that it was a lapse in character and they would eventually be able to work through it…assuming that was something they both wanted. In her pragmatic brain she understood enough about the human psyche to understand that if Bo was in lust with another and needed to satisfy some need she wouldn't take it lightly and it would take years to repair the damage done but she could see herself eventually forgiving this as well, with the level of trust severely impacted to the point where Lauren knew she would really never fully trust Bo again.

But what she really came to realize that this whole situation was more about Bo settling some primal urge. When Bo had admitted the affair Lauren demanded to know how many times and over how long of a period had it been going on. What she found out nearly broke her on the spot. Bo had told her it was a handful of times over the course of about four or five months. Four or five months. Lauren recognized the meaning behind that and she had amazed herself by keeping her cool and just telling Bo to get the fuck out.

Four or five months.

A handful of times.

This was no sexually driven romp just for the sake of fucking each other's brains out whenever they saw fit. No. This was a full fucking blown affair and Lauren understood that with the handful of times when Bo had physically betrayed her she was probably emotionally betraying her for longer than that. The fact that Bo had time to think about her actions, evaluate the situation and continued to end up in bed with another spoke volumes to the blonde and she was livid. Bo shared things with that bitch that were supposed to be sacred between them. The intimacy, the caring ways, the tenderness that comes with being in love.

Evony fucking Marquise. From day one Lauren knew something was off with her but she never gave it much thought as Bo was a consummate professional and in a million years would never consider an affair let alone with someone who she worked with. Bo had a saying about eating where you shit or something like that and Lauren always laughed about it but felt some relief in that line of thinking. Well, until now. It was bad enough that she knew the person Bo had been unfaithful with but to know that it was a member of the company that Bo ran was almost adding insult to injury.

Had they laughed about her in post-coital bliss? Did it bother Bo that she had to see Evony every day or was it that daily interaction as Lauren worked long hours trying to figure out a way to start a family for them that drove her into the devil's arms? Lauren couldn't be certain but she knew that she hated the fact that Evony not only knew her but that she had a connection to Bo that preceded the affair.

"Lauren?"

The doctor didn't realize they'd pulled up to her driveway and had been sitting there for a few minutes in silence. She'd been so lost in her head that she hadn't even noticed Tamsin shut the car off.

"Let's go inside okay?"

Lauren nodded and got out of the car slowly following Tamsin up the short walk to her front door. The attorney opened the door with the key that Lauren had given her and they quietly made their way into the kitchen where Tamsin immediately went to get them a bottle of wine. She reached up and grabbed two glasses before opening the bottle of red to let it breathe.

"Sooo…you wanna talk about it now or get drunk first?"

Tamsin gave Lauren a playful smile as the doctor sat at the counter almost in a state of shock. Her body and her mind had been through an emotional roller coaster in the past few hours and she actually wasn't sure what was real and what wasn't at this point. She'd done the one thing she didn't think she'd ever do and that was to tell Bo how the research had been successful. She wasn't withholding it out of spite or anger. She was withholding it because she knew if Bo knew it had worked she'd try like hell to reconnect so they could live the life they'd wanted to for all those years.

All those years.

All the nights when Lauren and Bo would lie in bed talking about the future and how things would get better one day. All those nights when they'd fight about the little things not realizing they both wanted the same things but they were both too stubborn to hear what the other person was saying. All those nights when they'd talk for hours about everything and nothing yet at the end of the day they knew the other knew everything there was to know about them.

All those nights they fought.

Over money. Over where to live. Over Lauren's work schedule. Over Bo's work schedule. Over starting a family. Over even having a family at all.

All those moments.

When Lauren would look at Bo and know this was forever for her. When she'd look at the brunette and know this woman was the person she'd love forever because this was the first person she'd met that touched her soul. All those moments when Lauren knew she loved Bo completely and knew nothing and no one would ever make her feel the way she did at that exact moment.

Gone.

Forever.

Bo had taken something from her that she'd never thought she'd lose and now she was a ghost of herself trying to get through each day little by little. Trying not to act like her life was crumbling before her eyes and she was powerless to stop it.

"Might as well right?"

Tamsin nodded as she poured them both a glass and handed one to Lauren. She motioned to follow her out to the deck where they sat in the cool California afternoon breeze and shared the bottle of wine as Lauren poured her thoughts out only to have Tamsin listen and interject when it was apparent Lauren's emotions were getting the better of her.

"So what do you want to do Lauren? Now that it's out there and official where do you go from here?"

Lauren sighed slowly as she stared out at the ocean. This was her calming place, the sound of the waves and the smell of the salt air soothed her soul. It always had. Ever since she was a little girl it was the escape that she ran to whenever she needed to clear her head or get her thoughts in order. It was her safety blanket, her one requirement when deciding where to settle her life, she needed to be near the ocean. Normally it offered her sanctuary but today the waves seemed to be haunting her, reminding her that something so beautiful was so unpredictable and could break her at any moment.

"I don't know Tamsin. I don't know. Where am I supposed to go? I…I…"

Tears escaped her eyes although she did her best she couldn't contain them from rolling down her face in full streams that stained her clothes and her skin almost burning her as a reminder that her whole world had ended the night she found out Bo had committed the most humiliating and detrimental betrayal of her life.

"I love her Tamsin. I still love her. I know I'll always love her."

Tamsin frowned as she looked at Lauren sadly. She knew her best friend was speaking the truth in this moment because if nothing else Lauren Lewis did everything completely. She dedicated herself to her studies completely. She dedicated herself to her work completely. And most importantly, she dedicated herself to loving Bo completely. Sure, she wasn't the easiest person to be with, often times appearing cold or standoffish but underneath all of that was the person that Tamsin knew. The woman who had given herself completely only to have her heart broken by the woman that had sworn to protect it with her life.

"I know Laur…I know."

Lauren gave her a teary smile and laughed slightly when Tamsin motioned for her to join her on the lounge chair she was sitting on. It wasn't uncommon for them to cuddle together and although Tamsin normally didn't initiate the affectionate time Lauren knew in this moment Tamsin understood exactly what was needed. Lauren needed the physical comfort of being held in a safe embrace and Tamsin was willing to provide that to her without hesitation.

"Do you want to be with her still Lauren? Do you want to stay married to her?"

Lauren shrugged as she settled in Tamsin's arms and felt her body relax almost instantaneously. It was a familiar feeling to be held by her friend because honestly it's what got her through medical school and right now she was happy to let the familiar scent wash over her and be the thing to calm her fears and soothe her emotions to where she could think logically again.

"I don't want to lose her Tamsin. But I'm afraid I already have."

The taller blonde rolled her eyes and shook her head. "Lauren you are so smart but sometimes you are so, so stupid. You haven't lost her, but if you want her you need to fight for her. Fight for the relationship. Fight and show her that you deserve happiness and for whatever fucked up reason that happiness is found in her."

Lauren laughed and shook her head. Trust Tamsin to make something so sweet and sentimental into a joke to ease the tension some. It was one of the traits that Lauren appreciated most about her and she was glad that Tamsin was on her side and in her corner. If nothing else, Lauren knew she had Tamsin for life and knowing that gave her the strength to think about picking up the broken pieces of her heart and maybe, just maybe put them back together slowly.

She sighed as she watched the waves and felt Tamsin squeeze her shoulders a little in comfort. It was a small action but one that seemed to break something inside of her. "Where did it go wrong Tamsin? What happened to us? What did I do wrong?"

Tamsin's face hardened as she listened to how broken her friend sounded. She paused as she mirrored Lauren's stare out to the water. "You didn't do anything wrong Lauren. Nothing. This isn't about you. This is about Bo and her actions."

Lauren squinted into the setting sun. "Then why would she do this?"

Tamsin sighed again. "I don't know Lauren. I just don't know."

The pair sat there in silence as they soaked in the remaining rays of the setting sun over the Pacific Ocean. It was a cool October evening and after a bit they had to retreat inside where they ended up settling on the couch with Lauren eventually falling asleep from exhaustion. Tamsin watched her with sad eyes as she knew her friend was devastated beyond repair. It would take a miracle for things to turn around and Tamsin knew that Lauren needed to focus on healing herself first before she could ever consider fixing things with the woman she loved.