I do not own Bleach.
For all those UlquiHime fans out there. Their story shouldn't have ended the way it did. Enjoy! :)
He watched her through the window. Watched as she ate her dinner, watched as she talked to her brother's photo. Then watched her sleep. He could sit and watch her forever, his Orihime. His. He had never used that word before in reference to another living being. And yet it had slipped so naturally off the top of his head like he had used the word all his life.
Ulquiorra drew nearer, pausing outside her window. It was open slightly to let in the breeze. Before he knew what he was doing he had reached out and pushed up the window the rest of the way. The curtains blew gently in the wind that entered with him. His feet touched the floor without a sound. He moved toward the bed, toward the object of his apparent affection.
He was a little surprised she hadn't been able to sense his reiatsu, as he still hadn't been reigning it in, no matter what Rukia and Ichigo had said. To all of their surprises he had asked for a few hours in Karakura Town before he and Rukia headed back to Seireitei. Rukia seemed to immediately understand and she nodded, a half-smile turning up the corner of her mouth. Ichigo hadn't, and she hadn't bothered to explain it to him. The loose cannon probably wouldn't let him near Orihime, and Rukia understood that.
He didn't know whether she was repaying him back for saving her life but he acknowledged it as a sign of the friendship he so wanted. Ichigo hadn't cared after that, more concerned with how Rukia was doing after the attack on her life. He was also hopeful for that. At least then Ichigo might not care enough to follow his reiatsu. Which was good. He needed to speak to Orihime.
Ulquiorra stared down at Orihime, sleeping peacefully in her bed, his eyes glinting in the moonlight. He reached out a hand and, remembering Ichigo's actions hours earlier, brushed a strand of hair away from her face. It was soft against his hand and the faint scent of her shampoo drifted to him. He curled his finger around another strand and tugged gently so as not to disturb her. She twitched her nose in her sleep and Ulquiorra found himself battling with a sudden warmth in his heart.
He abruptly let go of the hair, not understanding the emotions swirling through him like a tornado. He took a step back, and then another until his back hit the wall of her room. He stood there for a moment, focusing on his breathing. In. Out. In. Out. What was happening to him? Why was he suddenly acting like Ichigo?
"Orihime," he whispered, testing the word. It felt right to say it. "My Orihime."
Orihime roused by the strange whispering in her room. It was colder than it had been when she'd fallen asleep and she shivered under the covers. Then froze. She opened her eyes and they widened at the sight of the dark figure standing against the far wall. The whispers were coming from him.
At first she was scared, her heart beating rapidly in her chest. Then her eyes became accustomed to the dark and his form began to take on a shape she knew well. Shinigami robes came into focus, a zanpakuto hanging casually at his side. His hair was rumpled from the wind, tousled and sweeping across his forehead and covering most of his eyes. Those eyes. Those brilliant emerald reptilian eyes. Eyes that made her heart skip a beat. Eyes she dreamt about every night since he had been killed.
"Ulquiorra?"
Orihime sat up in bed and swung her legs over the edge. She stared at his unmoving form, suddenly positive she wasn't dreaming. It really was him. He was here, in her room. It couldn't be a figment of her imagination. He looked too real, too solid. Tears blurred her vision and she was out of the bed, running across the room, her hair flying behind her.
Ulquiorra stared down at the top of Orihime's head. He could feel her arms around him, holding him tightly. Her body trembled and automatically he wrapped his arms around her, holding her close. She snuggled deeper into his warmth, burying her face in his chest. He had no idea how long they stayed that way, huddled against the wall, but he had never felt more at peace, not even while watching Rukia and Ichigo give each other as good as they got.
This…this was something surreal. Something that had eluded him for most of his life as an Espada, something he hadn't even known he wanted to find. He tightened his arms around her and dropped his head on top of hers.
"You're here. You're real," he heard Orihime whisper.
"I'm here," he automatically responded. "And I am real."
She pulled back, her wide eyes watching him. "I watched you die," she said, her voice choking on a sob. "How is it possible that you're here? And as a Shinigami?"
"I don't know. I was given another chance, I suppose," he said, lifting his hand up and cupping her cheek.
He was surprised to see her lean into his touch and close her eyes. Her hand came up and rested on top of his, her fingers holding his firm against her. Her skin was soft and warm against his rough palm and he was reminded again of the difference in their abilities. She was a head shorter than he and so soft and fragile he was afraid he would break her. He had to keep reminding himself to be gentle with her.
"You came to see me," Orihime said softly, her other hand resting on his chest.
She smiled at him as a tear escaped her eye. Another followed. His own widened at the flow of iridescence and he swept his thumb over the glistening water. The invisible stain left behind clenched his heart. He didn't want her to cry. He didn't want to be the reason she cried ever again.
"Why are you crying?" he asked.
She laughed on a hiccough and moved away from him, wiping her own tears away. He fought the urge to pull her back against him, already missing the warmth of her body. Instead he followed her with his eyes, mainly because he could, but also because he liked watching her. She rummaged in a drawer and pulled out a small hand cloth, drying her eyes.
"I'm just happy to see you," she said, her voice muffled by the cloth.
He had made her happy without even trying. He let the corner of his mouth tip up slightly. But he did try, he acknowledged. He made the effort to come and see her when he could have just left with Rukia. It would have been easier, and he probably should have left it as they had last left things. But he couldn't. Deep down, in farthest reaches of his being he couldn't for the life of him have walked away from her without ever seeing her.
"I'm glad I came," he said softly. "I'm glad you're happy."
Orihime stared at him. Had he just spoken those words on his own? He suddenly…cared about another person's happiness? That wasn't the old Ulquiorra she had known. Something bloomed in her heart. Had he remembered all the things she had said to him in Hueco Mundo? Was that why he was here? To show her he was trying to change?
"You look different," she commented, noticing the way he stood.
"I am different. From what I used to be. That feels like another life time ago, Orihime."
She closed her eyes at the way her name rolled off his tongue like silk. A blush heated her cheeks and she desperately hoped the dark would hide it. He had never used that tone before when addressing her. He was different, but not in a bad way. In an entirely new, beautiful way. She smiled and opened her eyes. She could see it reflected in his own.
"You're a Shinigami. Were you here on business?" she asked, moving to stand in front of him again.
"I was. Rukia and I took care of the hollow. I asked for a few extra hours so I could come and see you," Ulquiorra replied.
His candour was something she wasn't used to and another blush coloured her cheeks at his exclamation. No one had ever been so sweet to her, and she wasn't counting Tatsuki-chan. The fact that no one was holding a sword to his throat to make him say the words made it all the more sweet. He was speaking from the heart, something he had been incapable of doing, something he hadn't even comprehended before, even if he didn't realise it.
"I'm glad you're unhurt, Ulquiorra," she said sweetly. "This seemed like a small problem then."
"I don't know. I doubt if you could ever call Kurosaki Ichigo a small problem," he said, eyes turned heavenwards.
Orihime's jaw dropped at the joke he had made and the expression on his face. He looked so comical, standing there in that humanly natural way that she burst out laughing, hiding her laughter behind a closed fist.
Ulquiorra smiled at her tinkling laughter, a balm to soothe his churning insides. He had meant to make her laugh, to hear the sound once before he departed. He was glad he had. He wouldn't forget this particular look of hers, a look he hadn't seen before. She looked so beautiful, the moonlight lighting up her form. She shone like something even his most fantastical dream could never hope to reciprocate.
"How have you been?" he questioned mechanically, uncertainly, knowing this was a formality in how humans addressed one another when either eye hadn't been seen in a while.
She wiped her eyes and smiled at him. "I've been well, thank you. And you? How does it feel to be a Shinigami now?"
"Strange, to say the least. I'm now the very thing I once despised," he answered quietly.
She gazed at him with sad eyes. "But you're alive, Ulquiorra. You were given another chance. It may not seem like much, but a life is a life. Embrace it and live it to the fullest."
"How? How am I supposed to do that when my life isn't worth living to the fullest when you're not around, Orihime?"
He'd shocked her into silence. He could see it reflected in her brown depths. He hadn't meant to divulge such a thing but his mouth was working faster than his brain it seemed. He looked away, unable to watch her reaction. She might actually kick him out after such a declaration. He couldn't even form the words to take it back.
And then she hugged him.
"I'll always be here for you, Ulquiorra," she said. "You know that. Whenever you need to talk, I'm here."
He wrapped one arm around her and kissed the top of her head. "I know. I'm sorry. Thank you for that."
He released her and sat down on the floor. She placed herself next to him, her back also against the wall. He struggled to find the words he wanted to say, cursing his brain for its lack of response when he needed it. Orihime was waiting patiently, waiting for him to say the things he had come here to say. Even knowing that didn't help.
"I've been changing, Orihime," Ulquiorra started in a low voice. "Ever since you walked into my life with your life theory convictions and the way you see things differently. You are the first person I've met with an outlook like that. Not even the Shinigami in Seireitei can compare."
He was grateful she was silent, listening to his words and knowing he was still struggling to say what was in his heart. She wouldn't interrupt until he was done. And even then he wouldn't have to tell her. She would know, as she always had.
"I find that I want to change. I want to be the person you think I'm capable of being. Even through my blindness you saw the true person inside of me. I won't lie, it's not easy and it isn't going to be, but I want to try anyway. I want to get to the point where I can say that I've defeated the emptiness that still remains in me. And I need your help to do it."
He couldn't look her in the eye as he spoke. It was too personal, too raw for him to muster up the courage and face her head on. The fact that he knew she would be looking at him cemented his resolve. He never thought that he would be here, speaking of things he hadn't even thought of to a woman who had changed the way he looked at things.
"No you don't," Orihime said suddenly, interrupting his train of thought. "You don't need me to help you to do it because you've figured it out on your own. You're moving without any help towards the right destination. I only guided you there."
Ulquiorra looked at her with stunned eyes, his pupils dilating to slits. Her arms were wrapped around her raised knees and she rested her chin on them. Her gaze was thoughtful and a million miles away. She turned her head to the side and gave him a smile.
"What happens if I stray off that path?" he questioned, curious as to what her answer would be.
"You won't," she said with enough conviction in her voice that he believed her, even though he didn't trust himself enough. "Because I've seen the kind of person you are. I've seen how much you want to become your own person again. And with something like that you can't go wrong. It's no longer about seeing the change in yourself as an idea. You're physically taking the steps to make that idea happen."
"It's a powerful idea, Orihime."
"I know. And that's what will lead you straight and true."
"The end objective is too addictive for me to just throw it all away," he admitted quietly, watching her through hooded eyes. "I could never stray off that path even if I wanted to."
"Oh, really? And what's your end objective?" she questioned innocently.
"You."
She swung startled eyes to him, and he was pleased to note another blush staining her cheeks. She looked flustered and was probably unsure of what to say to him after that. He hid a smile. He hadn't intended to render her speechless.
"You shouldn't say things like that, Ulquiorra," she said softly, her hands holding either side of her head, her face still red.
"And why not? It's the truth." He was deliberately being obtuse but chose to ignore it. He liked watching the play of emotions crossing her face.
"Sometimes the truth can be a little more than people can handle," she said, laughing shyly.
The smile was wiped from his face in a second. He immediately knew the direction in which this conversation would go down. He trained his stare on the floor before him. He did not want to get into this now. Not when things were going more smoothly than he had hoped for.
"I know you care for Kurosaki Ichigo," he started in a low voice. "I'm not stupid. But I will damned if I sit by and not even try to fight for you."
The last part was delivered with a quiet intensity that shocked even himself. He hadn't expected this to get out of hand this quickly. But even thinking about Ichigo with his Orihime had him ready to go back and fight him as he had wanted. But then again, remembering how Ichigo had been around Rukia he doubted the man felt the same way towards Orihime. He relaxed marginally.
"It's not him," Orihime said in a rush.
Ulquiorra turned wary eyes on her. He didn't say anything but his silence held a million years' worth of doubt. She may believe her words but he had seen her actions. He knew the extent of her feelings for the substitute Shinigami.
"It's true. Ever since…ever since you….I haven't been able to look at Kurosaki-kun the same way," she admitted quietly, avoiding his gaze, her cheeks colouring. "It's not like I didn't want to, it's just that I…couldn't."
Her quiet admission roared through his ears. She still wasn't looking at him, was even hugging her knees closer to her chest as if unsure about herself and her apparent feelings for him. But he had never felt more than he had at this moment. His smile slowly came back and he reached out a hand, his fingers delving into her hair. He gripped a fistful and tugged gently.
She smiled at him, and he knew he would never get over those fleeting glances she let him have of what was inside her heart. She reached up and gripped his hand, pulling it down to rest between them on the floor. Her fingers slid through his, her palm warm against his cold one. He watched their entwined hands with a mix of something he couldn't identity. Happiness, perhaps?
"Why is it so hard to believe that I would want you, Orihime?" he asked bluntly, his gaze still locked on their hands.
"Ulquiorra, please," she said, a tone of begging in her voice. "You need to stop asking me such candid things. You're making me nervous."
"Have I always?"
"What?"
"Made you nervous?"
"No," she admitted. "Not until it was too late."
"To take it back? The way you stayed away from me like I was Aizen himself?"
"You forced me to leave Karakura Town with you."
"I would never have hurt you, Orihime. I don't think I could have. I don't think you realise this but you have something about you, something that makes any person you meet want to protect you."
He watched her look up at him shyly, her fingers digging into his hand. "Even you?"
"Especially me."
"I didn't realise people looked at me that way," she said. "That's not what I want to come across as."
"You're strong in your own right, Orihime. It might not be physical strength as Ichigo has in abundance, but you've got an inner strength that beats everyone else. Don't ever doubt yourself. You're like a light in the darkness. My light."
His thumb had begun caressing the back of her hand. He hadn't even realised he'd been doing the human affectation until she squeezed his hand. He stopped suddenly, feeling more than a little awkward. This was so not his ballgame. He released his fingers from hers and rested his palm on the floor.
"You see me as something that doesn't exist," Orihime said. "No one is entirely made up of light. There's darkness in everyone. My darkness was the way Kurosaki-kun reacted around Kuchiki-san." Her voice trailed off.
"But you don't feel that way anymore, right? That means you've overcome it. I didn't even have the strength to do that until you turned my world upside down."
"Don't you see, Ulquiorra?" she cried out, turning to face him fully. "I couldn't have gotten over my darkness if it wasn't for you! I would be sitting here anxiously worrying myself over how he sees me compared to how he sees Kuchiki-san. But since you I haven't given it a second thought. The only person occupying my thoughts day and night is you!"
Ulquiorra stared at her in surprise. She had raised her voice. He had really pushed her far this time. He sighed and reached out a hand, framing the side of her face. She watched him wearily, as if she didn't know how he would react to such a thing.
"I'm glad to hear you say that," he said. "It gives me a better indication of where I stand with you."
Ulquiorra stood suddenly and offered Orihime his hand. She gripped it and he pulled her to her feet effortlessly. He held her hand in his tightly. She didn't make any protests nor did she attempt to remove her hand from its place in his.
"Orihime," he said. "I must go now. We need to get back to Soul Society."
"So soon?" she asked with longing in her voice, then promptly slapped a hand over her mouth and blushed becomingly. "I...uh…didn't mean for that to come out the way it did," she added hastily, avoiding his eyes.
He battled a smile and tipped her chin with his finger so her gaze met his. "You keep making me feel so incredibly lucky. Thank you."
The next part came so naturally to him that it surprised both of them. He bent his head and brushed his lips against hers, a soft butterfly kiss. And she let him. He pulled back, watching her reaction through hooded eyes. Her eyes were still closed, her face tilted up. He bit back a grin and bent his head again, this time pressing his mouth to hers a bit harder.
Her fingers threaded in his hair and she gripped fistfuls of it, holding him in place. His arm slid around her waist, yanking her against his body. His other hand cupped the back of her head, tilting her up further. He could feel her heartbeat pounding against him. This was the highest moment in his life, as both an Espada and a Shinigami. And she was the only one who had been able to let him experience it.
"Orihime," he whispered against her mouth.
"Ulquiorra," she whispered back.
He slowly released her, watching her eyes open. "This isn't a dream," she repeated to herself. "You're too real to be a dream."
"We've been over this before. I'm no dream. I'm as flesh and blood as a Shinigami can be," he said with a smirk. The smirk slowly faded. "And now I have to go."
Ulquiorra moved toward the window, pausing before jumping through. "Thank you, Orihime," he whispered. He placed his hand on the windowsill and vaulted through, the curtains billowing behind him as he exited.
Orihime ran to the window and peered out, seeing the silhouette of the Espada she had come to love. He was jumping across rooftops as he made his way further and further away from her. Her hand moved to cover her heart and she smiled, ignoring the pain at watching him walk away from her. Now she knew how Kurosaki -kun felt every time Rukia went back to Soul Society. She watched Ulquiorra until she couldn't see him anymore and then went to bed, snuggling up beneath her covers.
When morning broke she awoke with a gasp and stared around her room. It looked like nothing had been disturbed. Even her window was closed. The air felt slightly humid and she sighed. She wondered if it had all been a dream. She brought her fingers up to her mouth and traced their outline. No, it hadn't been a dream. He was real, and he had been here. She could feel the residual effect of his reiatsu all over the place.
Orihime fell back against her pillow, a smile of happiness on her face. She had gotten her wish. She had seen him again. It was all she had ever wanted since she had watched him die. She sighed and pulled the covers higher when a flash of red next to her caught her attention. She turned her head and her eyes widened. She instinctively knew Ulquiorra had done this. No one else would have. She wondered if he realised how human doing something as simple as this made him seem. Probably. Anyway she didn't care. What matters was that he had. She sat up and bent closer, putting her face right near it. A sweet scent drifted off it and she inhaled, a wide grin appearing on her face.
Lying against the stark whiteness of her pillow was a single red rose.