A/N: Random silliness, because I felt like it.
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Impromptu Redecorations
Ceallers shoud store wine, not Darkspawn. Or overly excitable mages for that matter.
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A tremor shook the stone walls, reverberating through the floor and rattling a long wooden bench, piles of random debris scattered in the corners and the moldy, empty barrels lining the far end of the room. The sound of a loud crash followed by more muffled tumbling of something large and heavy came on its trail.
Down the stone stairs at the furthest end of the cellar stood old and heavy wooden door, rusty padlock recently forced open and now stading slightly ajar. A small wisp of smoke floated through the opening, the smell of scorched wood seeping through. Though the space behind the door was mostly dark, tiny flickering could be made out originating from somewhere further inside.
The noise slowly died down, followed by brief stretch of silence. Muffled grunting was the first thing that broke it. Eventually, a voice sounded out from the dark:
"Anders?"
There was some shuffling and then a second voice joined the first:
"Uuuum… Yes, Commander?"
"Remember when I said 'we could use some light here' ?" The first voice asked, sounding ominously cheerful.
"I… seem to recall something to that effect, yes." The second voice came again, with the distinct overtones of someone incospicuously backing away.
More grunting sounded in the background, growing louder. A small 'thud/crash' of something medium-sized hiting the floor and rolling away could be heard a moment later.
"And then when later on I said 'Oh, look! It seems like there's something behind this rack.' You remember that too?"
"I may have heard you say something along those lines."
More grunting. Another, louder crash this time.
"And then do you remember when afterwards I also said 'Hmmm… if we could somehow move just these few barrels out of the way, we could squeeze through and see what's on the other side'? " the first voice came again, in the tones of someone discussing an amusing but rather insignificant mishap that happened long ago and to someone else.
The second voice seemed to consider this for a moment. "Ummm… No. No, can't say I remember that part at all. If you'll recall, that was when that Darkspawn attacked me from behind so pardon me if I wasn't exactly paying attention to your observations right at that moment."
"Ah. Right." The first voice appeared taken aback a bit. But only a very little bit. "But you do remember afterwards, after I scraped that Darkspawn off your back, when I mentioned the barrels again and you said it would take too long to move them, right?"
The second voice sounded a tiny bit uncomfortable. "Um. Yes. I remember that part."
The grunting turned to grumbling and after another sound 'thud' begun graduating towards cursing.
"And then you said 'Oh, but it's not a problem - I can clear the way.' and I said 'Oh, okay - Go ahead and clear the way then.' "
"Uh-uh…?" The second voice had the distinct undertones of getting ready to beat a hasty retreat any moment now.
"Well… See… " the first voice said sweetly, "When I said to clear the way, Anders…
…I DID NOT MEAN FOR YOU TO FUCKING BLOW US UP!"
Next moment, the background grunting erupted into a full-blown curse. The sound of something heavy and hard hurtling through the air could be heard, followed by a muffled "Ow!" as it connected with something soft and not happy to meet it. The sound of someone scrambling for cover was heard next, then a subdued yelp, more shuffling, another "Ow" and then it all exploded into one huge, cacophonous commotion
"I'd like to point out before you kill me that the way is now, in fact, clear- No, Oghren, don't- Ow!"
/
Nathaniel paused with his hand on the door and took a deep, steadying breath before he swung them open, took a good, long look around the room and then addressed the suddenly motionless party inside: "You know, there is a perfectly good way around that wall from a side corridor back over there."