Chapter six
The lullaby
Katniss slammed the door shut and leaned her back on it, breathing heavily with a hand over her racing heart. She could feel tears starting to well up in her eyes, tears she's been trying so hard to hold in from the first time in five years her eyes laid on Peeta in the theme park. She couldn't hold it in anymore when they were in the restaurant, and it feels like she couldn't hold it in again anymore now.
"Katniss?"
Her eyes snapped back down from her gaze on the ceiling.
"Yeah?" she asked, thankful her tears didn't escape her lids.
"Are you okay?" Gale asked with knitted brows in worry for the woman who looked like she was about to break down.
"Yeah, I'm fine," she reassured, trying to calm herself. "I just ran back in so I wouldn't get caught in the rain that's all," she lied, which perfectly explains her short and shallow breathing.
Gale looked at her, not convinced, he knew this woman for five years now after all, but decided to ley it go.
"Anyway, I better get going. I have to go back to the hospital. The family of one of my patients has been asking for me since noon."
Katniss smiled at the man and bowed her head lightly at him. "I'm sorry for taking you from your work for the whole afternoon."
"Are you kidding?" I haven't had this much fun for a while now. I mean, I would never have met Mellark if I had been stuck in the hospital all day," he said with a grin.
With a small smile, Katniss kept silent, not knowing what to make of his statement.
"Katniss, are your really okay?"
She nodded with a sure look on her face. "Yeah, I am. I'll see you again tomorrow for Willow?"
Frowning slightly at her change of subject, he sighed and nodded. "Yeah. Like I said earlier in the car, be there by 8 o'clock, or 9 o'clock at most. I've already jus contacted my other colleagues."
"Alright, thank you Gale. And here," Katniss pulled out one of the large umbrellas from the rack just beside the front door. "It's raining cats and dogs out there."
"Thanks. See you girls tomorrow!"
Lightly closing the door behind him, Katniss sighed yet again, feeling uneasy and slightly guilty.
She really didn't want to let the boys spend more time with Peeta, it would ruin everything, but she can't deny him or the boy's time with each other either.
Katniss knows Peeta isn't stupid. He must've already figured out that Luke and Rye really were indeed his and Katniss's children from the minute he saw her earlier. But she still held on to that tiny hope that he would just go along his way without bothering her or the boys ever again. And personally, she didn't at all want to face him ever again if she could help it, which is why she specifically told him to pick the boys up tomorrow when she was sure she was out of the house herself.
Scratching her head lightly, Katniss couldn't believe this sudden turn of events. She's been living quite peacefully over the last five years. Well, she's not living in luxury like he was, but she's getting by with her children at a normal pace and she was already contented with that. So, why is this all happening now?
"Oh God, help me," she whispered, resting her forehead on the front door.
XOXO
"Peeta?"
at the sound of his name, Peeta snapped out of the trance of his own thoughts, only to be met by a lot of worried looks directed at him.
"Yeah?" he said, still a bit absentminded.
Glimmer looked at him, concerned before turning to everyone inside the room. "Can we reschedule this?" she asked the group with an apologetic smile.
The two woman and three men nodded at her and proceeded to pack their equipment. They'd rather do the interview on another day than do it now when their main subject seemed out of it.
"I'm so sorry," Glimmer told them as they made their way towards the door of the hotel suite.
Sighing, she went back to the lounge where Peeta sat, his look deep in thought yet again for that night.
"Peeta?"
"Huh?" he said, sounding lost. "Where is everyone?" he asked, slightly shocked that the reporter and the cameraman and their assistants were gone.
"They already left, I'm rescheduling the interview," she replied, her brows knitted together in worry. "Are you alright?"
Exhaling a long breath, he stood up and stretched his long arms up in the air. "I'm fine. Why do you ask?" he said casually.
"You've had this very thoughtful and preoccupied look on your face ever since you got back here. Why? Did something happen when you were out?"
Peeta shook his head and flashed a reassuring smile. "Nothing. I'm just a little tired from everything that happened today, that's all. I'm going to bed."
Without another word, and no waiting for her to say another word, Peeta quickly made his way towards the large master bedroom on to one side of the lounge.
Glimmer sighed, watching his retreating from until the door closed behind him. "Something's wrong," she concluded surely.
XOXO
"Hey mom! Mom!"
Katniss looked back as her boys ran through the kitchen door with big smiles on their faces. They were clearly excited for the day's activities.
"What do you think?" they asked in unison as they posed about in their matching outfits of white sneakers, light denim blue jeans and striped polo shirts. Their hair was even combed down. At least, as combed down as they could manage to make it.
"Both of you look positively handsome," she said with a grin before pulling them into hugs. "You two are too cute!"
"Mommmm…" they both complained, trying to push her away.
"We don't want 'cute'…"
"… we're trying to look cool!"
Katniss merely laughed at them and nodded. "Yes, yes, you look cool too," she said, earning a grin from the boys. "Now, come on, eat your breakfast. Willow and I have to leave in a while."
Willow, who was sitting silently on her seat at the dining table, smiled as her mother looked over towards her before turning to her brothers. "Have fun today, Luke, Rye," she said in gentle sincerity.
The twin boys looked at her with identical grins, which slowly started to face.
"I wish you could come with us…"
"… yeah, we haven't spent time together lately."
"Don't worry, we can play together tonight!" she assured them with a big smile upon her face.
"I hope so, but what if you fall asleep early again?"
"Just like last night?"
Willow shook her head. "I'll stay up with you tonight for sure!"
Luke and Rye grinned at each other before winking at their little sister, making her blush a little and giggle.
"Now, what were you three talking about?" Katniss asked, seeing the smiles on all her children.
"Nothing!" all three of them replied when their mother started placing their meals in front of them.
"With you three? It's never nothing," she pointed out.
The children remained in silence at this, instead closed their eyes in individual prayer before digging in their breakfast.
Katniss watched them, a smile never leaving her face. This is her family, and she liked it just the way it was. Just watching her kids eating their meals, playing with them during her free time, reading them stories and singing to them songs at night. This has been her life for the past five years, and she never complained. Even if it was a burden, she still enjoyed it and she loved every minute of it nonetheless. She can't even imagine if anything were to change from this life of hers.
Thinking about change only made her smile slowly face. She knew it was inevitable, especially now that she's met with Peeta again. But she had already decided to herself yesterday that she won't let him change anything, which was why she played dumb yesterday as if she had only met him for the first time. If he believed her little act, she was hoping he'd just leave them alone as soon as he was done with whatever he was doing here in Los Angeles. She didn't go through all the trouble of not letting the kids watch TV or video games or restricting them from certain places all these years for nothing after all. She did all that so if in case Peeta's pictures or posters would get posted somewhere; they wouldn't see it and would never question their resemblance.
"Mom?"
Katniss shook her head and was met with three pairs of eyes, two pairs of familiar blue and a pair of just as familiar silver.
"Yes?"
"Are you okay?"
"You're not eating…"
"… and you look kind of…"
"… lost," Willow finished for her brothers, making the male pair nod.
"I was just thinking that's all," she assured before putting a bright smile on her face. "Shall we go Willow? The sooner we go, the sooner we finish, and the sooner we get back, the sooner you can play with your brothers."
Willow smiled at this and nodded enthusiastically.
XOXO
Looking up from her morning paper, Glimmer looked over at Peeta as he headed out of the door to his room.
"Are you going somewhere?" she asked, noting his attire.
Peeta nodded in her direction before turning to the decorative mirror in the lounge and positioning his gray Fedora hat on his curly hair. Clad in a white wife beater underneath a short-sleeved gray button-down shirt that he left open and unbuttoned, dark denim jeans and gray leather shoes, he was ready to go on his first official father-son outing with his boys.
"Where are you going?" Glimmer pressed, seeing as she didn't get a verbal answer to her last question.
"Out," he replied vaguely, before positioning a pair of dark aviators on his nose, totally blocking his blue eyes.
Sighing somewhat irately, Glimmer folded her paper and set it on the breakfast table and walked over to him. "You're not seeing some girl are you?" she asked, a hint of jealousy in her voice. He had just agreed yesterday that he would give their relationship a chance and now, he was out and about looking very handsome and she didn't know where he was going and with who.
Peeta raised a brow at her. "Of course not," he answered truthfully. "You know I don't have any interest in the female population," he reminded her.
"Good! Because you already agreed just yesterday about us."
Totally forgetting such a conversation, Peeta mentally cursed. "Err… you don't mind that I go out do you?" he asked, unsure if he even had to ask her in the first place. He's always been used to doing whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted.
Seeing his effort, Glimmer can't help but grin. "No," she said, shaking her head. "As long as you don't go out with some girl."
XOXO
"Yeah?" he answered into his cell. "No, he told me he wanted some privacy today… Huh? But… hmmm…. Well, if you're sure… yeah, okay."
Boggs slowly got up from his seat with a sigh.
The three men around him looked up at him as he stared to leave.
"Hey, where are you going? We're far from finished. We only just started!" one of the men still situated at the poker table called.
"I'll be back, I just have to check something out!" he called back from the doorway to the hotel room. "And don't touch my chips! I already counted them!"
XOXO
"He's here!" the twin boys exclaimed when the door bell rang.
Jumping off the couch, they dashed straight to the front door.
"Don't run too fast! You might trip!" Sae called out although they were out of her sight.
XOXO
Whistling to himself, Peeta was in a jolly mood. He waited outside his sons' home, playing with the identical and smaller white Fedora hats with his hands.
"Hey!" he greeted with a grin matching the twins'. "Here"
Holding up their small hands, they took the hats from him and placed it securely on their heads.
"Thanks!" they exclaimed before making their way down the stone path towards the small front gate. "Let's go!"
Peeta watched them but stayed in his place. "What about your mother? Isn't she sending you off or something? No goodbye kisses?"
"No, she already left hour ago…"
"… she's out with Willow."
Blood started to boil within him yet again, but Peeta held a cool expression on his face. "She left you two alone in the house by yourselves?" he asked, trying to restrain himself from throwing the large rock on the ground through one of the house's windows.
"Mona is inside…"
"… but she's not coming."
Knowing this, he willed himself to relax. And he did… with much effort.
"Alright, c'mon you two," he said, walking pass them and opening the gate.
Now he's even more determined to show the boys a really good time. He's going to make them wish they lived with Peeta instead of Katniss and he's going to make sure that brat of hers and that man from yesterday, will be so jealous of the boys, she's going to whine and complain to her mother and her father about life being so unfair that she doesn't have the stuff he'll shower the boys in before the day is even out.
"Where's the limo?"
Peeta smiled at the twins before pointing towards a silver convertible Mercedes Benz across the street that already had its top down.
"Is that yours?" they asked, getting excited.
"I thought it would be better and… less obvious if we rode that instead of a limo. We wouldn't want attention now would we?"
XOXO
"How are you feeling?" Katniss asked lovingly, as she took her daughter's hand and played with her tiny fingers.
Willow smiled up at her mother. "I'm fine. How are you feeling?"
Katniss can't help but laugh, and Willow giggled as she did.
"Katniss? Willow?"
The two girls turned to the door as Gale stepped inside the white room they were currently waiting in with Willow resting on the table in the middle and Katniss on a stool beside her.
With a smile on his face, Gale set the chart aside and sat on the chair on the other side of Willow, opposite Katniss.
"How is it?" Katniss asked, can't help but have a smile on her face as well after seeing the man's positive features.
"It all looks alright. In our perspective anyway," he said, pointing to the mirror behind him.
The two girls looked over at the mirror and waved, knowing there would be a group of other doctors and specialist on the other side that were watching them.
"So she won't…" trailing off, Katniss glanced at Willow before turning back to Gale, "… you know."
Gale shook his head. "We think not, just make sure she doesn't get a lot of negative emotional strain."
Katniss nodded at this in understanding. She was confident that her daughter won't get any negative strain at all. In fact, she was quite sure she would get more positive emotional strain from her brothers. They always did have fun together.
Taking a lollipop out of the front pocket of his with lab gown, Gale handed it to Willow with an apologetic smile on his face. "Sorry for stealing another day from you Willow."
Willow shook her head and took the lollipop from the doctor with a shy smile. "It's okay, especially if you keep giving me candy," she said with a little giggle before unwrapping it and popping it inside her mouth.
XOXO
"Hello? Yeah, it's me. I don't know what you're getting worried about. He's just gotten out of the zoo with those twin boys from before… yeah… no, it's just the three of them… sure… no, I'm heading back to the hotel. Don't worry too much… alright," shaking his head, Boggs pocketed his cell on the front pocket of his shirt.
Starting the engine to his car, he took one last glance at Peeta and the two little boys before making his way out the zoo parking lot and onto the main road.
'I don't get why Glimmer's being paranoid and crazy jealous over two boys,' he thought, exasperated at the hassle the woman just brought upon him. When she called him earlier, she made him think like Peeta's going to be in trouble, when clearly he's just enjoying the nice day out with two kids.
XOXO
Looking at the rear-view mirror of the car, he checked the grinning faces of the twins.
"You two alright back there?" he asked in an amused tone.
"Yeah!" they exclaimed with laughter in their voice.
Peeta turned to them and can't help but laugh at the scene as well. The back passenger seats of the car was full of stuffed animals from the ground up, just ending enough to show the twins' heads amongst the heads of the animals.
"How are we going to fit all of this in our room?" Rye asked his brother.
Luke merely laughed before poking his brother with the protruding tongue of a stuffed anteater.
The two laughed as they began playfully hitting each other with the stuffed animals Peeta bought them, which was one of everything they had found in the zoo. If the zoo had stuffed versions of every animal, they had, they were sure they wouldn't have much space left in the car.
"To the park?" Peeta asked from the front before backing up his car from the space they parked earlier that morning. They already had their lunch inside the zoo and it was already nearing 2 o'clock in the afternoon.
XOXO
"Mommy?"
Katniss looked away from the ring of keys on her hands and down to her daughter.
"Yes, hon?"
"I thing the ice cream's melted," Willow pointed out after surveying the contents of the plastic bag in her hands.
"Don't worry, I'm sure it's not that melted. We'll put them in the freezer before we eat them," Katniss replied with a smile before putting in the right key into the keyhole of the front door. "Rye! Luke!" setting her shoes to the side, Katniss peeked down the hallway before helping Willow out of her shoes and coat. "Your brothers aren't here yet."
"It's still early anyways. I'll play with my dolls until they get here. And I can always eat the ice cream later. It's okay."
Katniss smiled at her sweet daughter before rumpling her hair, which was identical in color to her, only Willow's was shorter.
"Okay, c'mon. Let's go to the kitchen and put these away first. I'm pretty sure Sae went home right after your brothers left."
XOXO
"How are we going to get all this stuff inside the house?"
Peeta looked back at the twins, grinning. He didn't have a clue. He went slightly overboard with buying Luke and Rye almost everything he could get his hands on that would befit five year olds, he didn't even consider the amount of space they have inside that small house they live in with Katniss.
"Just take as much as you can and we'll make a couple of trips until we get all the stuff in your room. How's that sound?"
With identical grins, the two boys nodded before opening the car doors, sending a few of the stuffed animals to the ground. Grabbing two stuffed animals each, the twins trotted into the gate and up to the front door of their house, then looked at each other.
"I can't knock."
"Neither can I."
The two looked back to find Peeta almost covered from the waist up with a large load of stuffed animals and they laughed.
"What are you two laughing at?"
"You look funny!" they replied, pointing with their lips towards the stuffed giraffe whose head was hanging between his legs, the stuffed snake twisted around his neck and all the other eight or so stuffed animals he was able to carry.
"Yeah, yeah, brats!" he said with a smile before knocking the door with the end of his leather shoes. "Let's hope your mother's already home," he added, sounding a bit annoyed. If Katniss wasn't home, he was sure he'll really throw a rock through the window.
A minute later, no one had still answered the door and a frown was slowly setting into Peeta's features. He rammed the end of his shoe to the foot of the door again and a little more loudly.
"Katniss!" he called out. "Open up!"
Still nothing.
"Katniss! Are you in there? KAT-!"
Before he can finish calling out her name, the front door swung open.
"What the devil is going o-" the disheveled looking woman in front of him looked up at him then down to her boys, the frown on her face giving way to a small smile. "About time you boys came home," she said, directing to the twins.
"Sorry mom!"
"We got held up…"
"… we stopped by the mall…"
"… after we visited the zoo and the park!"
Katniss nodded and let the boys through, then looked up at the much taller man still standing outside.
"Are you letting me in or what?" Peeta said, trying not to sound so rude.
"O-Of course," Katniss said, leading him to the living room. "Uhm… what's with all the animals?" she asked, picking up what looked to be a stuffed porcupine.
"A gift, for the boys," he said, clearly emphasizing that all of it were solely for the boys. He didn't know if Katniss got it, but if she did, she didn't show it.
"You didn't have to buy them anything. But, thank you," she said. "And thank you for taking them out today, especially since I've already had plans with Willow."
Katniss clearly saw his jaw tighten at the mention of her daughter, although she didn't know why. Peeta merely nodded stiffly at her, without saying a word.
"Mom! Mom! Mom!"
The two adults turned to the twins running down the hallway towards them.
"We still have a lot of stuff in the car…"
"… can you help us bring them in?"
Katniss whipped her head back to Peeta with an inquiring look on her face. The man merely smirked at her and shrugged his shoulders.
By the time they were finished with unloading all the new toys form Peeta's car, almost an hour had already passed. The boys were excited to use every single thing Peeta bought them, Katniss was dead tired from all the lifting she did, and Peeta was simply happy just watching the boys' happy faces.
"This is really too much," Katniss said, looking at the load of things scattered on the floor. Peeta didn't only shower them with stuffed animals, he also bought story books, toy cars and robots, video games, new clothes and new shoes.
"There's no such thing as too much for my boys," Peeta replied from the couch opposite where she sat in the living room.
Katniss looked at him. 'He really does know,' she thought, slightly panicking now. "I-"
"Mom?"
Thanking God for the timely interruption, Katniss turned to Luke.
"What is it Luke?"
"Willow says she wants to sleep," he said, sounding slightly miserable. "She says she's already tired, even if Rye told her that we still wanted to play with her with all our new toys."
Katniss smiled gently at him and rested a hand on his shoulder. "Your sister's had a pretty tiring day with me. She doesn't have as much energy like you and your bother. Don't worry, she'll play with you tomorrow, okay?"
Luke nodded at this, putting a small smile on his face. "Rye is in her room, trying to sing to her. But Willow says she wants to hear you sing like you usually do."
"Alright, now, you and your brother entertain Mr. Mellark while I go to your sister."
With that said, Katniss left the living room without so much as a word or even a glance to Peeta. And somehow it annoyed him.
"Are you okay?"
Peeta nodded at Luke with a forced smile before Rye came running inside the living room.
"I think Mom's gonna sing Willow our song," he informed.
"But she only sings that song if she needs to cheer us up," Luke pointed out with a slight frown. "Is Willow okay?"
"Before mom came, she told me she's not feeling too well and wants to sleep early, she sounded kind of sad to me."
Peeta glanced at the clock; it was only 7 o'clock in the evening. He guessed Willow was about four years old, judging from how much smaller she was from the boys. He didn't really know what time kids go to sleep but he was fairly sure sleeping at 7 o'clock was too early.
"Hey Peeta?"
"Hmm?"
"Do you want to hear mother sing?"
"She's a really great singer you know!" Rye said proudly.
'Of course she is,' he thought before standing up from his seat and nodding towards them.
XOXO
"Are you okay my little Willow?" Katniss asked, smiling down at her daughter who was lying down on her bed in her own room that was decorated mostly in pink with a few stuffed animals and dolls.
Willow nodded at her with closed eyes. "I'm just tired, that's all."
"Are you sure you're feeling okay?"
Katniss sat down beside her on the bed and stroked her hair off her forehead, and again, and again, and again. Doing this always soothed her children and it easily sends them to sleep.
"Who is that man in the living room mother?" she asked instead, not answering her question.
"Why do you ask?"
"Nothing. I'm just wondering why my brothers like him so much. And he seems to really like them too. I saw some of the toys he had given them."
"You can all share with your brothers' new toys, a-" Katniss stopped when Willow shook her head and opened her eyes, and looked at her.
"Those toys aren't mine. It's okay, I'm still happy with the dolls you gave me," she said with a reassuring smile, after noting her mother's smile falter a little. "The toys you give me are enough for me."
Katniss smiled a little sadly before pressing a kiss on her forehead. "Don't worry about the toys Willow. We can always discuss this in the morning. You had a really tiring day. What song do you want me to sing to you?"
"Deep in the meadow," she replied before closing her eyes yet again.
Taking an unsure glance at the open door, Katniss hoped her voice wouldn't reach the living room. In fact, she hoped her boys would entertain their guest as loudly as they could.
Taking a deep breath, she started.
Deep in the meadow, under the willow
A bed of grass, a soft green pillow
Lay down your head, and close your sleepy eyes
And when you awake, the sun will rise.
Here it's safe, here it's warm
Here the daisies guard you from harm
Here your dreams are sweet and tomorrow brings them true
Here is the place where I love you.
Deep in the meadow, hidden far away
A cloak of leaves, A moonbeam ray, Forget your woes and let your troubles lay
And when again it's morning, they'll wash away.
Here it's safe, here it's warm
Here the daisies guard you from every harm
Here your dreams are sweet and tomorrow brings them true
Here is the place
"… W-Where I love you…"
Tears finally slipped from Katniss's eyes and down her cheeks as she faltered with the last line. She pressed one last kiss onto the forehead of her sleeping daughter before turning on the lamp on her night stand.
"Good night, my little Willow," she whispered before turning off the main light of the room. Slowly and silently shutting the door to a close, Katniss then headed down the hall and towards her bedroom.
XOXO
Peeta leaned onto the wall beside the open doorway and glared at the floor. He could clearly hear the twins doing something in the kitchen, but his ears were focused to the musical sounds that were coming from the open room beside him.
Deep in the meadow, under the willow
A bed of grass, a soft green pillow
Lay down your head, and close your sleepy eyes
And when you awake, the sun will rise.
Listening to the lyrics of the 'lullaby', Peeta could literally feel his heart being wrenched out of his chest… if he had a heart.
Now he was only too sure Katniss had been faking it. She really does remember him, except she's been acting as if she doesn't.
Here it's safe, here it's warm
Here the daisies guard you from harm
But now, after hearing this song, no doubt about it, she really is aware of the whole situation and she really had knowingly hidden it from him for the past five years.
Here your dreams are sweet and tomorrow brings them true
After hearing the final lines coming out in beautiful song from her lips, he knew it was drawing to a close. How can he not? This was the song she used to sing to him every single night after his family die in that car accident.
Pushing himself from the wall, he glared one last time at the doorway before making his way back towards the living room, only just missing Katniss falter into a broken tone.
Here is the place where I love you.
XOXO
I know you probably won't even read this. I really hope you get here.
I wanna apologize to every single one of you who's been waiting for this chapter since two weeks ago. The last two weeks had been... I don't even know how to describe them. I'm starting to believe I might have a lot of bad luck.
Anyway, I'm back. I'll try not to take so much time updating. But I really wanna thank every single one of who for not giving up on me. You have no idea how much you mean to me guys.
I hope you liked this chapter, it's kind of sad... but you'll see it gets better.
And as always,
DISCLAIMER: I don't own The Hunger Game, they all belong to Suzanne Collins. And the story belongs to The Dreamer.