Disclaimer: Still don't own Star Trek; there would have been so many more adventures.

It had been three days since they'd picked up the Ambassador from Covillis II. Now, travelling at warp four, the Enterprise and her crew made their way towards Starbase 14 where they would drop off the Ambassador and hopefully get a little relaxation time in before setting out again on their next mission.

During those three days, Kirk was happy to find that Ambassador Poletsig was rather unobtrusive when it came to how he ran his ship. He was content to mainly stay in his quarters and look over his notes; more focused on handling the Covillis treaty and agreements than Kirk and his ship. In all of Kirk's experiences with Starfleet bureaucracy, this had to be one of the more pleasurable ones, for him and his crew.

Now, about two days out from the base, Kirk sat with McCoy and Spock in the Mess Hall, dining on regulated food based on pure nutrition that the good doctor was making him eat. Spock sat to his right with his usual salad, with McCoy across from him eating replicated steak and vegetables. Inwardly grumbling to himself, Kirk pushed the brightly colored blobs of 'food' around his plate.

"Bones, can't you give me real food? This stuff is never any good."

"No Captain, I'm afraid you'll have to deal with what you're given. It seems to be the only way to insure you eat what you need to. The Enterprise can't afford for its captain to be unfit whenever an emergency happens to spring up. Now eat."

With a small frown on his face, Kirk stabbed one of the yellow globs and plopped it into his mouth.

"Happy now? And I'm as fit as ever, just so you know."

Instead of answering, McCoy moved a hand to his head, a grimace flashing across his face as he rubbed at his temple slowly.

"What's wrong, Bones?"

"It's nothing, just a headache. Been getting them every few hours or so since we left that planet."

Spock turned his full attention to the doctor, the barest hint of concern flashing across his features.

"Doctor, have these headaches been present since the time that the Captain and I located you in the Covillis garden?"

An angry scowl crossed the doctor's features and he held up the hand that had been rubbing his head at Spock.

"Now hold it right there. I know what you're think'n and trust me...I gave myself a thorough check-up upon beam'n back to the Enterprise. Nothing showed up on the scans, so whatever effect those plants had on me was lost the minute I came back on board. If anything, it's being caused by all the crewmen coming into my sickbay recently because of simple things like stress and exhaustion. We've all been stuck on this ship for too long without a chance to relax."

"It has been approximately four months, three weeks, five days-"

McCoy cut Spock off before he could finish.

"As I said..too long. The sooner we get to Starbase 14 the better it'll be for the whole crew. I'll bet you my headaches will be gone by then too."

Kirk had to agree that it had been too long since the Enterprise was allowed shore leave. Anytime they got the chance, something would come up and Starfleet would order the Enterprise to go check it out or deal with it. They needed this one coming up, if only to allow the crew a chance to unwind as McCoy said.

Just as Kirk was about to speak and try to change the topic to something more positive, the intercom next to their table whined, grabbing the attention of the officers.

"Sickbay to Doctor McCoy."

Sighing loudly, McCoy got up from the table and pressed a bit too harshly on the intercom to respond.

"McCoy here. What's wrong now?"

The irritated growl that McCoy voiced his question in surprised Kirk.

Maybe he's under more stress than I thought. How common have those incidents in Sickbay been?

"Doctor, five crewmen from Engineering are being brought in. A console they were working on seems to have blown. They are reported to be suffering from burns, cuts, and one crewmen is unconscious and badly injured. Nurse Chapel asks that you come back to Sickbay, since the fifth crewman might have neurological damage if not treated correctly."

McCoy was silent for a few moments before responding.

"Alright, I'll be right there."

Without even turning to say good-bye to Kirk or Spock, McCoy stalked out of the room with a scowl on his face, muttering about engineers and their inclination to always get hurt.

Spock turned back to Kirk with a raised eyebrow before returning to his meal. Kirk continued to stare at the closed doors that McCoy had just walked through.

I think I'll have Sulu increase our speed once back on the bridge. Shore leave can't come soon enough.

McCoy walked into Sickbay, feelings of anger and frustration coming off of him in waves.

No matter what he did around here, someone was always getting hurt. It was like the crew felt there was nothing better to do, but hang out in his Sickbay.

He grudgingly made his way over to where most of the activity seemed to be centered. The groans and sounds of pain grew louder as he got closer and McCoy tried to suppress the annoyance that the noises caused him.

Do they always have to be so damn loud?

Casting quick glances at the patients being treated as he went past, McCoy finally halted at the one that seemed to require the most attention. While the other patients were clearly conscious, this one was lying on a biobed, unconscious, a good deal of blood running from a gash on his head, with cuts and assorted burns covering his bare torso.

Nurse Chapel was leaning over the patient, administering a hypospray into his arm. Glancing up, she caught sight of McCoy and began to fill him in while prepping a tissue regenerator.

"Doctor, he's suffering from a concussion, a few cuts and gashes along his abdomen, and severe second and third degree burns. He woke up briefly and I had to give him ten cc's of kayolane to keep him unconscious so shock didn't set in."

Nodding silently in understanding, McCoy quickly grabbed a dermal regeneration and set to work cleaning and fixing the man's head wound, making sure to keep an eye on the neural monitor above the bed to make sure there were no adverse affects to the treatment. As he worked on the crewman's head, Nurse Chapel worked on healing the injuries on the rest of the torso, fixing the cuts and applying faux skin to the burns to aid in their healing.

After a few hours, McCoy finally finished. He checked to make sure that the man's neurological signals all seemed to be in order and that there would be no lasting consequences when he decided to regain consciousness. Satisfied that all seemed to be well, he quickly left the room, not stopping to check on any of the other patients and entered his office, locking the doors behind him.

Leaning against the closed door of his office, McCoy let out a breath he didn't realize he'd been holding. As he did so, another headache began to suddenly pound away in his head. Wincing, he walked slowly over to his chair and sank into it, resting his elbow on the arm while he held his head in his hand.

Just as quickly as the headache came, it was gone again. Frowning, McCoy slumped back into his chair, staring at the ceiling.

That was the shortest one I've had yet. Whatever I'm suffering from must be finally going away. Just in time for shore leave too.

McCoy wanted to smile at that thought, but he just couldn't seem to bring himself to be happy.

I must be more exhausted than I thought. Too many hours spent in Sickbay again.

At that moment, the door to his office sounded, signaling someone wanting to come in.

"Enter."

The doors slid open, revealing Nurse Chapel on the other side, a concerned expression on her face. McCoy let out a quiet sigh.

"What do you want, Miss Chapel?"

Momentarily stunned by the Doctor's gruff and unhappy tone, Nurse Chapel stepped further into his office and stood across the desk from him. She had noted that his behavior in Sickbay had been unusual as of late. He hardly interacted with the patients or his staff, and when he did decide to say something, it always seemed to be snappish and somewhat angry. There was none of the sweet, 'country doctor' behavior that the rest of the nurses and doctors had grown accustomed to over the years.

"Well, I was just wondering how you were doing, Doctor?"

The look McCoy sent her after she asked her question was full of such animosity and annoyance that Chapel took a few unconscious steps backwards. However, just as it seemed he was about to yell at her in fury, his face suddenly crumpled and he burst into tears, slumping across his desk. Shocked, Nurse Chapel hurried over to his side.

"Doctor McCoy?!"

Still crying, although a bit more calmly, McCoy looked up at her and forced a smile on his face. She could tell it wasn't genuine and knelt next to him, her hands reaching to grasp his as she looked at him in concern.

"Oh Christine, what kind of doctor am I? I can't heal the crew enough to keep them out of Sickbay for more than a week. How can Jim trust me to keep them all well when I don't even trust myself to do so? These past few days I feel like the amount of sick people come'n through those doors just keeps multiplying, and everything I do has no effect."

Momentarily shocked, Chapel's mind raced trying to figure out where the Doctor's feelings were coming from. The amount of traffic coming through Sickbay wasn't all that different from how it normally was during slow moments when travelling. She could only arrive at one conclusion, even though it seemed highly unlikely considering what she knew of McCoy and his behavior in the past, but it was the only thing that seemed to fit.

"Doctor, when was the last time you went to your quarters to rest?"

McCoy shifted his gaze away from hers as he mumbled softly.

"It's been awhile."

Sighing, Nurse Chapel stood up, pulling McCoy up out of his chair and recapturing his attention with a stern look.

"Now, I want you to listen to me. You've overworked yourself again and the stress seems to finally have gotten to be too much. So as of right now, I want you to go back to your quarters and rest up until we reach Starbase 14. The rest of the staff and I can handle things here, so I don't want to see you again until you're feeling 100% better. And I mean completely, Doctor. Do I make myself clear?"

Chapel's tone was firm and left no room for negotiating, but she was still worried by the way the Doctor simply nodded mutely at her, no longer crying, but still with sadness in his eyes. He hadn't even tried to argue against her directions.

Without another word, Doctor McCoy wiped his eyes dry and slowly made his way out of his office and proceeded out of Sickbay, Nurse Chapel watching with concern as he went. She decided that after her shift ended she would make sure to send a report of what happened to the Captain. If there was anyone the Doctor seemed to need right now, it was his friends.

Doctor McCoy made his way to his quarters, his thoughts occupied with what had just occurred in his office. Heading for the turbo lift, he ignored the waves and smiles given by the rest of the crew as he passed. Stepping through the doors, he grabbed hold of the lift handle and sent it travelling towards Deck 5, mentally berating himself.

What is wrong with me? I've never broken down like that before. Especially over working long hours in Sickbay. It's not like I've never done it before.

McCoy couldn't seem to get a grip on his emotions. He tried to focus and bring forth one specific feeling, but it either would slip from his control or just not be there at all.

The turbo lift arrived at its destination and McCoy quickly stepped out, heading straight for his room. Upon entering he simply went over and sat down on the bed, staring at the floor below him as he concentrated.

As he tried to control his emotions, he realized that there were certain ones he couldn't seem to feel at all. No matter what he did, any positive emotion was just simply not there.

Well that's not right. I've been happy before. I've felt love for others and cared for them...

With a shock, McCoy thought back to the past few days.

He'd been constantly angry at patients coming into Sickbay. Now anger wasn't something strange with him, but normally he would have felt something else with it. Care or empathy...a strong feeling of concern on their behalf...something. Hell, just today he'd actually found their pain annoying. He was a doctor! He wasn't suppose to dislike caring for his patients.

Feeling slightly panicked, as well as a bit unnerved, McCoy tried for another one.

Jim and Spock. Friendship...It was gone. McCoy realized that he hadn't felt any kind of affection or love for either man in days. Thinking back to when he was around them, all he could recall was a bland interest. There was the occasional bout of frustration or anger that accompanied something said or done by one or the other, but nothing remotely similar to the strong feelings of friendship he'd shared with both men before.

Damn it all, what is wrong with you? Think Leonard, emotions can't simply be there one day and gone the next.

Concentrating, McCoy tried everything he could to focus on feeling happy and attempted to bring the emotion forth. As he pushed harder, a sudden mind-splitting headache erupted through his head, caused him to scream in pain and fall back on his bed, curled into the fetal position.

All he could feel was pain, until suddenly, he couldn't feel anything at all. Darkness quickly overcame his senses and he passed out into unconsciousness.