Changing pasts, New Futures
Chapter 5
The person standing in front of me froze a smile half formed on their face as they looked me over. Even though it had been two years since I'd seen everyone, they didn't look like they had aged a day. Arthur Weasley stepped out of the door way, causing me to take a step back to allow him room on the small porch. The door swung closed behind him and he continued to scrutinize me carefully. He was a tall wiry man, with thin balding red hair and spectacles that rested precariously on his nose. I noticed a few new wrinkles on his face, but he looked the same as the last day I had seen him. The night I left after I killed moldy wart.
"Harry?" was the hesitant question. I nodded and Arthur seemed to sag, like a weight was just lifted from his shoulders. "Where have you been? Molly will be furious and ecstatic to see you again" He said breathlessly. I eyed the door warily.
"Should I be putting up a shield?" I asked only half joking. Arthur gave me a grave look which said it all. Yep, I'm going to need that shield, and maybe some Kevlar. I took a deep breath, preparing myself for the wrath of a mother scorned, or in this case, a mother figure.
Arthur turned back around to open the door, and I wandless threw out a shield to cover my ass, figuratively speaking. I followed him inside, and I heard the ruckus of a gang of Weasley's gathered in one room, all trying to talk over each other. They sounded happy, and oblivious to what chaos I was about to drag back into their lives by showing up. Gotta love being the magical world's golden boy.
"Molly dear, look who has decided to show up for dinner" Arthur announced. The room went quiet as everyone turned to the doorway where I still stood. I double checked that my shield was still up. Check.
No one moved or said a word as they all stared at me. I was starting to get a little uncomfortable with the silence. "Um, hey guys" I said lamely. I scratched the back of my head nervously. When were the fireworks going to start? I can handle that, this silence however, totally creeping me out.
Finally Molly moved towards me, her hands reaching out towards me. They way her fingers were flexing back in forth I wasn't sure if her intentions were to hug me or strangle me. With Molly Weasley, it could be either one or both at the same time.
"Harry, is that really you?" She asked, stopping two feet in front of me. Where I realized the perimeter of my shield was set to, I mentally readjusted the shield closer to my body to allow closer contact with everyone. As if she sensed the changed shield, Molly took another step closer squinting up at me (I was now two feet taller than her, it felt good not to have to look up to anyone anymore).
I nodded, smiling crookedly at her. She let out a cry and launched herself the last foot towards me. I caught her just as her arms wrapped around me, squeezing the breath out of me, and maybe breaking a few ribs. I patted her back trying to calm her down as her body shook from the sobs I could feel against my chest. I could also feel the tears soaking into my shirt. Why do women always cry on me? I finally was able to push Molly off me, which allowed me to get much needed air into my lungs.
I looked at the shocked faces in the room before I turned back to the mother hen, and seeing the relief and happiness light up her face slowly fade into anger I knew the shield was a good idea. She reached into her apron for her wand and started brandishing it at my face, one hand propped on her hip.
"Harry James Potter! Where have you been the last two years? Do you have any idea how worried we all have been? You never owled. For all we knew you could have been in a ditch somewhere! I am so disappointed in your actions. Running away like that! You had us worried sick, and you WILL tell us where you were. I can still put you over my knee; I don't care how old you are." Molly took a deep breath and I bent down to hug her again, and she blew out her breath as tears brimmed in her eyes.
"I'm sorry Mrs. Weasley. I should have told you where I was, or that I was at least well and alive. I didn't mean to worry everyone. But as you can see, I'm as fit as a fiddle and I'm here now. Let's all sit down and catch up" I pulled back as I talked, and Molly eyed me carefully. Then she nodded and bustled back to the stove to finish up with dinner and put it on the table.
Smiling I took a step into the room and looked over at the already crowded kitchen table to see many familiar faces from my past. One face in particular that set my heart racing, and blood pumping its way down south. I cursed silently. I should have been more prepared to face her, but it was still a shock.
She was just as beautiful; if not even more so then I remembered her being. My heart about stopped beating as our eyes met. Tears glistened in them, though I couldn't tell if it was anger or happiness. Didn't really matter I guess. I glanced down and saw her white knuckled grip on goblet, and Ron's arm draped across the back of her chair. I clenched my teeth together and kept my face as blank as I could make it.
This was a bad idea. I shouldn't have come back here. Why didn't I just take a trip to the Bahamas or something? Somewhere exotic and relaxing. Somewhere I wouldn't have to deal with this, with them, with her. I curled my hand into a fist and then relaxed it, trying to control my anger, and my heart ache. Instead I gave everyone in the room one of my devastating smiles, trying to act like I hadn't been gone for two years.
"Hey guys. What's up?"
XxXxXx
I must be dreaming. There was no way this was real. For two years no one had heard a single snippet of information from him, and now all of a sudden he appears out of nowhere, like magic. I groaned internally at the clichéd statement. I wanted to run into his arms and hold him, and never let him ago. I was envious of Molly for that privilege. If I even tried to welcome him back in the way I so badly wanted to, Ron would be furious, and I'd have to pay in the worst way. I glanced nervously over at my keeper; he was grounding his teeth together in anger. His fury was building up. I knew it wouldn't be long before he let it out. Poor Harry. He was not going to know what hit him. Harry had no idea his so called best friend had turned into such a prick. Unfortunately for me, I knew all too well, and I was suffering the knowledge every day.
I looked back at Harry. He was not the same boy I remembered. He was a man, full blooded in the biggest sense of the word. Muscular, and extremely tanned. The scrawny boy of my past, the socially awkward kid I dreamed about was gone. In his place was a god. Adonis in human form I was sure. He had grown out his black hair, and it was just as messy as ever, but it didn't look uncontrollable, more like he just rolled out of bed after a long night of amazing sex. Of course, that would be something I wish I could experience firsthand, he looked like sex on a stick.
I couldn't help but imagine what he would look like naked. Probably even better than he did clothed. His eyes were the same piercing emerald green eyes I remembered. But he was no longer wearing glasses, and his scar was almost invisible on his forehead. He was tall, probably even taller than Ron, though maybe only by a few inches. Ron was definitely wider than Harry was, but it didn't look so good on Ron.
Harry had a cocky confidence to his stance, and the way he held himself. He was surer of himself than what I remembered. The shy boy from Hogwarts was long gone. Even in jeans and a button up shirt, he looked more put together and mature then Ron could ever pull off in his life. Oh how I wanted that man, but I was cursed to a miserable life with a selfish prick whose only concern were his own needs and wants, and everything else be damned.
When our eyes met across the room, I felt my heart skip, I sucked in a breath that I prayed wasn't noticed by anyone else in the room. Seeing him standing there brought back everything I was just trying to forget. He left. Two years ago he disappeared. Yet here he was, standing in front of me like nothing ever happened. Grinning like he didn't break my heart and left me crushed and lonely. I could feel my anger growing, and my hurt. I wanted to lash out, but to do so in front of Ron would cause even more problems. So I fumed silently, knowing my thoughts could never be voiced.
XxXxXx
I walked confidently into the room, or as confidently as I could pretend I was. In reality I was shaking internally, scared shitless. Though not necessarily from physical harm. Mostly from the emotional damage I was sure would come. I took an open seat, surprised that no one had yet voiced anything besides Molly. I was sure the room would erupt. But nothing. It was almost like no one was daring to breathe in case I was an illusion that would blow away. "So, Did you all become mimes while I was away? Or is this just special treatment?" I asked. No one even blinked. Jeez, tough crowd. I glanced around the table. Percy was the only one missing from the table, Man, what a prick. Still hung up on being the minister's lapdog. I couldn't believe he still hadn't apologized to his family. Poor Molly.
I took a deep breath, and smelt all the delicious food in front of me. My stomach let out a rude growl to announce its presence. "Sorry, forgot to eat" I laughed embarrassed. Molly tsked at me and started piling food on to my plate, I smiled gratefully at her, and she smiled back, sniffing back tears. I dug in, fully aware of being stared at. I counted to ten, waiting for a response from anyone, the twins even. Finally, after I swallowed my first bite, it was like something in the air snapped, and everyone unfroze from what I thought must have been a very uncomfortable gaping expression.
"Gred, I can't believe what my eyes are telling me, and my ears are seeing"
"Why Forge, I believe I know the feeling. Is that a Mr. Harry Potter the entire Magical World has been hunting like its duck season?"
"I do believe it is Gred. But that can't be so."
"Why's that forge?"
"Well I've heard he was declared dead."
"Well maybe we're seeing his ghost."
"Ghosts aren't solid Gred."
"True, I suppose that means the wonder boy has decided to grace us with his presence."
I looked over at the twins and grimaced. "Well jeez, when you put it that way. It's like I wronged the world. I don't owe any one of them an explanation. I did my duty." I felt my anger surge. Just because I killed Moldy warts does not mean the magical world owned me. I owed them nothing, if anything they owed me. And all I ask for is to be left alone. Good riddance to them. I didn't plan on sticking around after my week here was up. I was already missing the peaceful anonymity of Texas.
"Well do we at least get an explanation?" I looked over at Ron, the anger on his face was expected, but I had to clench my fist to keep from hitting him. It had nothing to do with him being angry, and everything to him touching her. Even now, sitting in the room with everyone, he couldn't think her name. It was going to kill him to say it, and he knew he eventually had to say something.
"Sure Ron. When I feel like my actions actually need to be explained." I bit out the words. I clenched my teeth again, trying to fight the anger back. I turned my face away and looked at the others. They looked confused as they glanced between me and Ron. Trying to figure out the drama of this friendship most likely. Whatever. Right about now, I didn't really care about Ron, or his sad sense of friendship. I was already missing the easy banter of Dustin and Brett, and the sullenness of Chad.
"Eat!" Molly demanded. Everyone dutifully followed her command and we all shovelled food into our mouths, some with more grace then others.
XxXxXx
I could see the questions burning in their eyes. For being Weasley's they were holding their tongues extremely well. Maybe maturity does come with age after all.
"So what rock did you crawl out of?" Was the snide comment from the one person who you could bet on to never mature.
"What creature crawled up your ass to make you such a prick?" I countered. Ron glared at me. His ears turning red. I could almost see the smoke coming out of them. I smirked slightly. Things never changed.
Arthur cleared his throat, and glared pointedly at Ron. Interpretation: Shut the hell up! "I'm sorry Harry, work has been stressful lately on Ron, and he's been taking it out on anyone he can. It's not excusable of course, but you know us Weasley's. Temperamental all of us." He gave me a fatherly smile. I smiled back, even though I wanted to smack Ron on the back of the head. He was being the immature prick; no one else was even close to being so temperamental. "Now, how about you tell us all about your last two years. I'm sure we're all just dying to know where you've been spending your time." Mr. Weasley, always the mediator in such a feisty family. Gotta love the man's patience and kindness. I think my buddies back in Texas would respect this man.
"Well. It's not as interesting as everyone here seems to assume. I decided I needed some time away from the magical world, and they needed to adjust to life without moldy warts, and I found that I was a constant reminder to their suffering, so I felt it would solve everyone's problem if I took a long leave of absence." I tried really hard to tamp down on my sarcasm, I really did. Unfortunately some of it leaked out. Fortunately the only ones who caught it were the twins and it looked to be and neither commented on it, which I was relieved to see. The last thing I needed to explain was the messed up emotions of a post battle child who was also in love with his best female friend and had to witness her make out with his other best friend. Leaving had been his only healthy option. The other ones he had contemplated would have made him permanently gone or arrested, and he figured this was the best option for all involved.
"So why are you back?" I didn't even acknowledge the question. What an idiot. I was getting real tired of hearing his voice. It was like sandpaper to my ears. I stood up from my chair.
"It was great seeing everyone again. I hope to catch up more tomorrow. Sadly, I'm still a little jetlagged from my flight. I think I should head home and get some sleep." I lied easily. I needed to get out of there before I did something they would regret. I sure as hell wouldn't.
I have to admit. I'm a little shocked at how angry I was, and how petty I was being. Even though the pettiness was going on internally. Who knew you could hold a grudge for two years?
I shook Arthur's hand, and hugged Molly goodbye. Grinning, the twins flanked me on both sides, clapping me on the back. "Good seeing you again Harry." I grinned back. Glad to see them again at least. The twins were just too easy going to hold my leaving against me. They were good people.
Next came my goodbyes to the oldest two Weasley's. They never said a word, but I could tell they were watching carefully. They were intelligent, probably gathering information. For no other reason than to just understand what was going on. They were also good people, though I hardly knew them as well as I did the twins. From what I remembered and had been told, they were strong, caring, decent men.
Ginny was next. That was awkward. She clung to me like she would never let me go. She hadn't said a word to me either, but the way she was brushing her body against me, she probably had plenty she wanted to discuss. I shuddered mentally. That thing I had going with her back in 6th year, pure stupidity. I don't know what had come over me to start dating her. She looked like his mother, how messed up would he have to be to ever want to marry someone so close in looks to almost be the sister of his mother? He was happy to have walked out of that disaster unscathed. She on the other hand seemed to want to start it all up again. Not going to happen sweetheart. You're so not my type anymore, if ever.
I was almost ready to just leave after that, but I knew I couldn't. She was standing there. Completely still, like she was afraid if she moved I'd bolt. I walked towards her, eyes locked; I could feel my heart beating faster. Trying to gather some self control, I stood in front of her, staring into those beautiful chocolate eyes of hers. I wanted to kiss her, to hold her and never let her go, but with the icy stare of Ron burrowing into my head, I couldn't do more than shake her hand and mouth off pleasantries that were so mundane and dull, nothing like what I wished I could tell her. Once that was over, I nodded to Ron a goodbye, and left.
Once I was outside, I felt like I was finally able to breathe. The air had been so thick with so many different emotions I was surprised it wasn't visible. I decided to walk off the stress and pain being back had invoked. God I missed Texas right about now.
As I followed the road to town, I got the feeling I was being followed. Tingles crawled up the back of my neck causing hairs to stand on end. Someone was definitely following me. I tried to look behind me unobtrusively. No one was there. Confused I continued to walk. I could swear someone was there, but looking back the road was completely deserted. And there was nowhere to hide along the side, the land surround the road was flat and open. As I tried puzzling over the mystery of why it felt like someone was following me, I'd finally made it to town. I was getting ready to apparate back to my place, when something shifted in front of my eyes.
From the empty space in front of him appeared the most beautiful sight he'd ever seen, and the most heart breaking.
Hermione Jane Granger.