"Pain and Pleasure"

Tobias

My father woke me up bright and early to inform me that our guests were going to be here an hour earlier than planned. He only had to give me that look —the one that says he means business— and I instantly knew — Tris was no longer welcome.

I don't know what possessed me to invite her over in the first place, let alone have her spend the night. He made sure to let me know just how much he disapproved of a harlot who was willing to sleep in the same room as another man. Funny how that rule doesn't apply to him.

I showered quickly, hoping to catch her before she even woke up, and shoved her out the door —in her pajamas of all things— with a peck on the cheek and a promise of an explanation. Even though she knows about my past, how do you say 'Hey. My dad's a grade-A asshole who's running my life, and I can't really do anything about it because he pays for everything and I kinda like it?'

You don't.

Well, not without getting a look, anyways. I hate that look.

The meeting went as smooth as it could, being that I was basically on show for all of my fathers suck-ups to see. I played my part as I always have, parroting the things that they said and giving them the standard answers my father approved of. I even told them how I was studying to become a lawyer in order to legally advise my father and his friends. Them. They raved and patted my father on the back, congratulating him on his successes.

That however, did not make up for the mistake I made with Tris.

I sneeze and wince. This drive home has been a hard one. My eye has finally started to relax and not feel so swollen, but squeezing my eyes shut just now made it throb. I pull off into a gas station and buy the biggest, coldest drink I can.

"Ouch," the cashier says. "That's gonna be a good one."
"Yeah," I say, not really wanting to talk about the black eye that's surely already formed.
"The holidays and family. What a combination," he says, handing me my change. "Take it easy, man. And don't worry about that. Just tell everyone something cool, like you got in a bar fight."
"Thanks," I growl out. Like I need some fuckwit telling me how to make up a cover story.

I flip my visor down and look in the mirror when I get back in my car. It's practically black. Fantastic. I hold the drink to my face for the rest of the drive home.

"How many times is this?"
"I'm pretty sure I've lost count."
"How many more times are we going to do this?"
"Zeke, I need a friend, not a lecture," I say as I look up at him.

He purses his lips and turns my face, getting a good look at my eye. "How'd he manage to get you?"
"A fucking sucker punch, how else?" I snarl. "The least the asshole could do is make it a fair fight."
"Yeah, well, in a fair fight, that asshole would lose. And you know damn well he wouldn't have any of that."

I hate that he's right.

"Seriously though, when are you going to say 'enough is enough'? You don't need him, you know."
"Zeke—"
"Tobias," he says with an eyebrow raised. It's not often Zeke wants to be serious. Or uses my given name. I sigh. "Just tell him to fuck off. You've got some money saved, right? You can come live with me and we'll run the garage with my uncle."

Okay, I want to say, but instead "You make it sound so easy," comes out. It's the truth though. It's never that easy where Marcus is concerned.
"Why isn't it? How much do you have saved up? Like ten grand? That's more than enough to float on by for a while."
"Ezekiel," I say, throwing his full name back at him now, "You think after all this time I only have ten grand?"
"Well, you can't make a bold statement like that and not tell me," Zeke says, grinning. I brace myself for the hell I'm about to catch.

"Fine. But if you say anything to anyone else, you're going to be the one with a black eye."
"No need for threats man," he says, holding his hands up.
"I have almost fifty," I say quietly.
"Fifteen?"
"Fifty!" I yell, and Zeke's eyes open up wide.

"You mean to tell me, you have fifty-fucking-thousand dollars saved up, and you're letting that asshole still tell you what to do? What the hell are you waiting for? A sign from god?"
"Zeke."
"Don't Zeke me, man. You got a great girl and you know you'll have a job here if you want it. Your car's already paid for. Take that money, put a down payment on a house, ask Tris to live in it with you, and tell Marcus to fuck off. You don't need that in your life anymore, man."
"I know. It's still not that easy, Zeke." He looks down and shakes his head, but I know he understands.

I want to walk away from Marcus, more than anything, but until I know for a fact I am completely able to, I can't do it. I don't ever want to have to go back for any reason. I want to forget that he even exists.

"How the hell have you pulled this off without getting caught?" he asks, smiling wider than I think I've ever seen before.
"You think Marcus pays his own bills? I wouldn't be surprised if half his staff isn't taking money from him. People with good credit have amazingly large amounts of cash they can withdraw at one time."
"Good," Zeke says. "Still though. Fifty grand."
"His accountant probably thinks I have a gambling or drug problem," I say and Zeke laughs.

"So, you talk to Tris yet?"
"No," I say. "It's Friday date night, and I'm not really sure if I know how to handle this."
"You'll handle it like you always do," he says, taking a swig of his beer. He slaps me on the shoulder, and gives me that smile. "So are we gonna mope, or are we gonna play car?"

I spend some much needed time forgetting about everything and diving headfirst into the rebuild. Zeke and his uncle just got in most of the parts we were waiting on, so we do what we can, putting the pieces of the engine into place. Once the new fenders come in, the car will be ready to paint, and I can't wait to see this baby cherry red.

"Hey," Zeke says as he opens another beer, "It's almost time for you to get going. Need my help?" he asks, pointing to my eye.
"No, I got it. Thanks though. I needed this more than you know."
"Hey, that's what I'm here for. Now go make goo goo eyes at your girl." I laugh and give him shove.

I check my eye again, and sigh when it still doesn't look any different. I mastered the skill of cover-up a long time ago, but it's been a while since I've had to put it into practice, and this particular bruise is a deeper shade of purple than I've had to deal with before. I sigh as wash my face. If I can't cover it, then I might as well let it show.

The cursor hovers over Tris' name as I try to put what happened into words. I have to make sure she understands that this was in no way her fault. He would have probably found a different reason to hit me, if I'm being honest with myself. I take out my phone at the last second, deciding that this would be a whole lot easier if I knew that it was just her and I.

- Hi.

- Hey. Something up?

- No. Just checking that you're all alone.

- Yeah. Chris is gone.
Why? What's up?

I take a deep breath and click on her name.

She answers with a cheerful "Hey," immediately followed by her face coming in close to the screen.
"Tobias," she says seriously. "What happened?"

"First, I'm fine," I say, reassuring her; I can already see her biting her lip. "And I want you to know that this is not your fault."
"You can't be serious. Tobias? Did he hit you? If he did, I am going to—"
"Do nothing," I interrupt. "Tris, I really, really appreciate the sentiment, but you're going to do nothing."

We're silent for a while. I can see the wheels turning inside of that beautiful head of hers, and I know what she's thinking. I just don't know how to convince her that she's wrong. He did this long before I ever met her. And more often.

"It's my fault, isn't it?" she finally says, clearing her throat. I shake my head but she continues on. "I wasn't perfect enough, and I made some smart-mouth replies. Oh god, Tobias. I am so sorry." Her eyes dart around my face, and even through the crappy connection, I can see the moisture forming in them.

"Tris, do not ever apologize to me for what he does again. I already told you. This is not your fault. It's just…Marcus."
"Did he even give you a reason why?" I don't answer. She just closes her eyes and shakes her head.

"Can you come over?"
"What?"
"Now. Just come over."
"Tris, I wish I could, but I have a big day at work tomorrow. I really just need to get some ice on this and sleep and pray that I don't look like I got in a fight. But thank you."
"Okay," she says quietly. "And you're welcome."

We spend the next few minutes talking about nothing in particular, but neither one of us is really into it. Eventually we say our goodbyes, having the shortest conversation since we met.

I briefly pick up my keys —telling myself to fuck everything and go be with Tris— but I set them back down, take four aspirin, and lay down with a bag of frozen corn on my face instead.

I walk through the office quickly, looking down to avoid the inevitable stares. Most people ignore me, but the few who see me immediately try to offer me some sort of condolence, even though none of them could even dream up the scenario in which I got it.

"Thanks," I mutter as I pass by, and shut myself in my office. I plop down in my chair and close my eyes as I wait for my computer to boot up. A soft knock on my door let's me know it's already beginning.

"Come in."
"Hey," Tori says, shutting the door behind her. I take a deep breath, because I already know what's coming. Tori knows better than anyone.

"So I see Thanksgiving went well," she says as she sits down. "If it's money you need, I have some stashed away. I can loan it to you, Tobias."
"Tori," I start. "I appreciate it, I do, but it's fine. I'm fine."
"No, you're not."

I don't invite many people into my circle, and even less make their way past 'Four', but Tori is an exception. She and my father dated briefly, years ago, and she's all too familiar with his wrath. She got out, but not without an offer of friendship and trust and a listening ear. When she comes around my desk, I don't push her away. She sits on the arm of my chair, and I welcome her arms around me. She could have been my stepmother had things worked out differently.

"You don't deserve this," she whispers, resting her head on top of mine, "And you don't have to accept it as a part of your life."
"I already did, a long time ago. Please don't worry, Tori. I have a plan. I'm almost there."
"Tell you what," she says, tipping my face up to hers. "Why don't you call that gorgeous girlfriend of yours, and spend the day with her. I bet she can make it feel better."

I bet she can, too.

"Thanks, Tori but—"
"But nothing. Now go on and get out of here before I call security and have them escort you out. Whatever you're working on can wait; that's a direct order from your boss. And if anyone gets upset, you just direct them to me."
"Are you sure?"
"Security!" she yells, and I laugh.
"Okay, okay. Thank you."
"You're welcome, Tobias."

I head home and change into something comfortable before I set out. Tris meets with a study group now on Saturdays, and I'm sure I'll be sitting around with her in the library for a little while before we can go out and do anything.

I know schools have big libraries for a reason, but this place is ridiculous. A quick thought crosses my mind — a memory really— of Al telling her the library was closed. Unless the entire roof caved in, they would have just blocked off a portion of it. I grit my teeth at the thought of him taking advantage of her trust.

I walk around, wondering how on earth I'm going to be able to find her in here. It's less crowded than I thought it would be, but between the never-ending rows of books and private study tables and groups study tables, it takes me almost fifteen minutes to find her.

"Hey!" she says, her face lighting up when she sees me. "What are you doing here?"
"Just came to learn," I say, pulling a chair up beside her. I take my coat off and hang it on the back of the chair before sitting down. "Pretend like I'm not even here," I say to the group, who are either looking at me with disgust for interrupting, or wondering just what I did to get this black eye. Tris puts her free hand on my thigh and it's comforting, her small reassurance.

I listen, and watch as she takes notes and wonder what her drive is to be perfect. Well, not perfect, but she refuses to fail, even if that means all her free time is spent doing this.

I don't know how much time passes, but I feel Tris' hand move up my thigh and squeeze. I open my eyes, not realizing I had started to doze. "Sorry," I mouth, but she just smiles. A second later I see her shiver.

"Cold?" I ask, and she nods. I take my jacket and drape it across her legs— she's only wearing a long sweater and thin leggings.
"Thanks," she whispers, moving her hand even higher up and giving me another squeeze.

Oh two can play at this game.

Somehow the fates have aligned, and in my dozing the people closest to us had left. Tris and I are virtually alone at our end of the table. I stretch and put my hand on her thigh, underneath my coat. She shoots me a look, but smiles, and that's all I need.

I rub my thumb in a circle where my hand rests, and I see Tris relax. I move my hand up slightly, and in response she moves her leg closer to me. I watch her take a few notes, and she even asks a question, and I have to suppress a smile. After a minute I decide to be bold, and move my hand so my pinky is nestled perfectly up against her. I swear I can feel her get wet, and I squirm a bit as I try to keep myself under control.

"Perhaps it's time for a fifteen minute break," the guy running the study group says.
"Oh thank god," Tris says, standing up and letting my jacket fall to the floor. She takes my hand and pulls me quickly through the never ending rows of books until I swear we are the only people left on the planet.

"This is good," she says, placing her mouth on mine as she shoves me up against a bookcase. I love how feisty she can get when she's in the mood, and it only serves to fuel my own desires. I take a quick look around and lift up her sweater, allowing myself access to her leggings. I tease her by running my fingers along the band, occasionally pulling it and letting it snap back.

"Is this okay?"
"Yes," she whispers. I slide my hand in them; I was right, she's practically soaked.
"How about this?" I ask, smiling as run my finger through her folds.
"Oh god, yes."

I tease her for a minute before sliding a finger into her. She hums in approval, and I can't hold back the grin that spreads across my face. I nuzzle into her neck, breathing in her scent and kissing her softly before making my way to her mouth. I kiss her deeply as my finger glides in and out of her, loving the small pants and hums she occasionally lets out. When she starts to fumble with my pants, I don't stop her. She slides a hand in and I groan as she strokes me, feeling her smile against me.

"I love when you make those noises," she whispers.
"Yeah?"
"Yeah." She looks right into my eyes as she grinds against my hand. Jesus.

She raises an eyebrow at me, and I know exactly what it means. I remove my hand, allowing her to drop down to her knees, taking my pants along with her. The way she looks up at me with those gray eyes of hers makes my heart beat just a little faster. It could also be the fact that she has my cock in her mouth.

I look around quickly, making sure nobody has found their way back here before closing my eyes and letting my head rest against the books. The way her lips close tightly around me, and the way she occasionally stops to tease me with just the tip of her tongue is threatening to make me lose it in no time. I try to distract myself to last longer, but I can't stop thinking about how wet she is. Fuck.

I take one last look at her, at the way her mouth moves effortlessly in her desire to please me, and pull her up.

"What?" she asks, frantically looking around.
"Nothing," I say, lifting her sweater and tugging at her leggings. A grin crosses her face as she quickly slips her boots off. I tug them down, freeing just one leg before pushing her up against the bookshelf. She wraps her legs around me as I lift her up, and as I settle deep inside of her, her sigh makes me twitch.

She bites my shoulder as I thrust into her, doing my best to hold on to satisfy her, but they call this a quickie for a reason. I squeeze her hips tightly as I think about how fucking lucky I am. This smart, loving, beautiful woman was just on her knees, pleasuring me, and didn't even bat an eye when I ripped her pants off to fuck her in public. In fact, she drug me back here. God, I love her.

"Tobias," she whispers, and the breathy way she says it does it for me. I grunt as I come, and she digs her fingernails into me, letting out a soft hum of her own. For once, I welcome pain on my back. I slow my thrusts, keeping them deep, not wanting it to be over as she kisses me softly on my neck.

"Fuck," I say, looking into her eyes as she lifts her head. She smiles, her eyes glossy and heavy. I hold her there, kissing her again and again until she pulls away.
"Time," she says, and I remember why we're doing this in a library.

We make it back to her study group with not much time to spare. A few look and stare, but Tris just picks up her pen and starts the session back up with a question like nothing happened.

A/N:

SONG: Beyonce - Partition